How To Transform Behavior in the Workplace

How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace
How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace

Today on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast, I interview Gena Yuvette Davis, a board certified executive coach, corporate trainer and organizational development consultant. Gena is going to talk to us today on the topic “How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace”

In keeping with my custom, I would like to share with you my tip of the week from coach Myrna.
Since Gena is going to talk today on How to Transform Behavior in the workplace, I want to share “How to remove old conditioning in your personal life”.
How to Remove old conditioning:

The physical component of the mind body connection, is the brain.
The mind is the software and the physical brain is the hardware.
If your brain, the hardware, is stuck in old patterns, even with the best of intentions, the software, the mind, won’t work.
If you let your brain keep you repeating the same patterns, you become like a biological robot.
Your words thoughts and actions become totally predictable.
We are all victims of repetitive patterns.

To change the patterns that are not serving you, the solution is awareness.

Here are 5 habits that are usually automatic.

1: Snacking non – stop even when not hungry
2: Spending too much time on the couch watching TV
3: Overspending your way into debt
4: Eating too much fast foods
5: Skipping breakfast
6: Late night snacking
7: Smoking cigarettes

How can you bring awareness to these habits and interrupt your pattern?

Let’s look at.
Snacking non stop
– whenever you feel the need to grab that bag of chips, stop and ask yourself
What am I really needing?
What need is this food really filling?

The moment you take a moment to think about your action, you interrupt your pattern.
You are on your way to breaking that habit. Even if you still eat that bag of chips.
You are on to way to removing old conditioning. Awareness is the key.

Another way to remove old conditioning is to:

– change your state
Let’s say you are sitting on the couch and you reach for the bowl of nachos on the table or the bags of chips from our previous example.
Just as you think the thought to command your hands to reach for the bowl; Change your state!
Get up and walk to the bathroom or to the mailbox. Move your physical body into a different position.

The 3rd way you can remove old conditioning is to:

Create a new habit – rewire the physical component.
Let look at our example of skipping Breakfast.
Make it easy.
– buy a drinkable breakfast and grab it on the way out of the door.
– have your partner make you breakfast.
– prepare a sandwich the night before and eat on the way to work.
– set the alarm 15 mins earlier.

These are a few ways to remove old conditioning and transform behavior in your personal life.

• Guest Biography
• Gena Yuvette Davis is a board certified executive coach, corporate trainer and organizational development consultant who truly believes that the “magic comes from within!”

• Authentically committed to empowering and inspiring others to be their best selves, Gena specializes in working with clients from a variety of industries who are on the fast track to taking their careers to next level. She is also a change agent for organizations who wish to transform their companies into diverse, collaborative and thriving workforces. Her drive and energy is infectious as she is able to elevate her clients and help them live to their true potential.

• Gena’s coaching, training and consulting style is intuitive, always full of energy, and with a touch of gentle persistence! Knowing that the answers are already within, Gena’s job is simply to be the way-shower of what is already known to be true – “success attained.” She is dedicated to assisting individuals and organizations to achieve excellence in ways that support integrity and a collaborative spirit. In addition to executive coaching and training in the areas of emotional intelligence, leadership effectiveness, communication skills and reputation management, her work includes a variety of strategic consulting services such as strategic planning, change management, retreat planning and facilitation, employee engagement, team-building, as well as diversity and inclusion initiatives. Her focus is on developing collaborative processes and as a thinking partner to foster learning, dialogue, and innovation.

• Topic Discussion
• Topic: Best Practices to Transform Behavior In the Workplace

• 1) What is “Behavioral Transformation?”
• 2) Why is behavioral transformation so difficult?
• 3) What are the different communication and behavioral styles?
• 4) What are three best practices to behavioral transformation in the workplace
• 5) What can we do to be our own advocates for change?
• 6) Can we really transform our work environment through behavioral transformation? How?

Follow Coach Myrna
Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/
Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/
Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris
web: www.myrnayounghelps.com
blog.myhelps.us

If you are interested in becoming a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast email Coach Myrna Young @info@myhelps.us

Please subscribe to this podcast on iTunes so you can Transform your Mind for success.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/transform-your-mind-coach/id1144973094?mt=2

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

how-can-i-be-happy-thumbnail

In our premier episode of “You Asked For It” Coach Myrna Young and coach Dan Willms answer the question. “How can I find happiness after a divorce?”

Listen to the full episode on YouTube
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Coach Dan Willms talks about how your behavior affects your happiness. I agree; but here are my thoughts.

Happiness! The Universal goal of everyone who has breathe.

So, what is happiness?
Let’s start with what it is not.
It is not how much money you have.
It is not how big your house is.
It is not what kind of car you drive.
It is not found in any external thing!

Here are 3 ways to find happiness after a divorce:

1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.

Let’s look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.

We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.

I will share a story.
This woman from Toronto sent me a friend request on Facebook. She was the friend of one of my friends. I accepted. Then she started reaching out to me about coaching and about my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” .

I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!

1. Let’s look First at your relationship with yourself.

The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can’t love yourself, you can never be happy!

You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can’t find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.

Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don’t like about yourself, do it.
If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.

2. Your relationship with those closest to you
A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate relationships. A level 5 relationship is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can’t share secrets with your children so they don’t provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!

3. And finally, your relationship with God.
The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God’s presence with you always, your relationships will be heathy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.

You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!

Coach Dan Willms is giving away one free ticket to a lucky winner to his Positive Change seminar worth $2000.00.
To sign up to be the lucky winner visit www.positivechange.us and enter the draw for your chance to win.

How to Detox the Body and Soul for Internal and External Success

Detoxing the Body and Soul
Detoxing the Body and Soul

Today on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Life Coach Kim McDaniel.
Kim is going to teach us How to Detox the Body and Soul for Internal and External Success. Kim is the author of the book “Come out with your hands Up – The Joy of Surrendering on God’s terms”

Why detoxing is important:
Building sky scrapers on weak foundations can be detrimental. In the same manner, piling on outer successes without addressing the internal structure, can look great from the outside, but cracks in the foundation will have one of two outcomes – explosion or implosion. Regularly detoxing the body and soul helps to ensure the integrity of the structure – our structure – and it must be intentional.

Coach Myrna tip of the week is:
The function of the soul is to indicate it’s desire.
The function of the mind is to choose from it’s alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
The soul speaks to you in feelings. Feelings are the language
of the soul.
There comes a time in the evolution of every soul when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the spirit. No longer the attainment of worldly success, but the realization of self.
Upon death, the body and mind are not dropped. The body changes form, leaving it’s most dense part behind, but retaining it’s outer shell, joining with the spirit as one energy mass of 3 dimensions.

Show Notes:
Listen to hear Coach Kim answer the following questions:

What is the concept of detoxification – why is it relevant?

How frequently should one do a detox for the body?

Are you suggesting vegetarianism or veganism as the only way to be healthy?

What is alkalinity – does it relate to things beyond diet?

Detoxing the “soul” – what exactly does that refer to?

What about between detoxes – what do ongoing behaviors look like?

Is there really a science to detoxing the brain?

What is the relevance of building fences – I thought success looks like building bridges.

Tell me a little about your Get in S.H.A.P.E. program.
S – Stress and Sleep
H – Hydration
A – Alkaline
P- Purpose
E – Energy and Exercise

paradise

There is another way to Detox the body and the Soul!
Take that much needed break from your hectic city life and explore the soul-cleansing North-East.

Tired of your busy life? Tired of cliché destinations to escape it? Dawki welcomes you with its refreshingly serene ambience. The cool breeze will help you get rid of all your stress and soak in the quaint atmosphere.

Jeet Roy implores you to visit Dawki: “Go on a drive to Dawki on the Bangladesh border, travelling over the Jowai-Amlaren-Dawki road. The journey itself would be the destination – you would pass the waterfalls and stone bridge at Thlumuwi, the Pitcher Plant park at Jarain, numerous other streams, rivulets, and falls, till you finally break through the woods and hills over the picturesque Sylhet food-plains at Dawki.”

http://www.holidayiq.com/blog/6-places-in-the-north-east-for-a-soulful-detox-2064.html

Follow Coach Myrna
Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/
Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/
Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris
web: www.myrnayounghelps.com
blog.myhelps.us

If you are interested in becoming a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast email Coach Myrna Young @info@myhelps.us

Nothing is Impossible If you Believe

Nothing is Impossible If you Believe
Nothing is Impossible If you Believe

Nothing is impossible, If you believe. How to turn life’s challenges into opportunities of self-discovery and personal success.
Todays’ guest on the Mindset Transformation Radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, is Dr. Sheila D. Williams. Dr Williams is the author of “My Mother’s Keeper”

https://twitter.com/drsdwilliams
In keeping with the theme of my show here is my tip of the week.
Always finish the race, don’t be a quitter.
Come all the way through!
Don’t stop in the middle, don’t turn back!
Just finish the race.
Look at life like a long distance swim trip.
When you start out you have no idea what you are going to meet up with.
You can’t predict the weather, the waves, or any other hazards and obstacles on your journey.
You have to make up in your mind, that you will “Come all the way through,” That if you are able, you will finish the race.
If you get to the middle of the ocean and you run into a thunder storm for instance, you just can’t stop.
Going back is just as perilous as going forward. You have to “come all the way through”

That is exactly how life is, you can’t predict the storms, you can’t predict the challenges that you are going come up against.
You know that they will come. You have to decide up front to “come all the way through.”
You have to know for sure that Nothing is Impossible, if you believe.
God planted that goal or dream in you for a reason. You have something to give to mankind.

If you believe, you will achieve!

You just have to keep moving forward, going back is death to your dreams, it should not be an option!

Show notes:
Today’s show discusses mental illness and how Dr. Williams cared for her mother as she suffered through clinical depression.
Her purpose for writing this book is to shed light on this taboo topic and offer healing to her readers who may be going through something similar.
She decide to be very transparent on her mothers clinical depression and how she cared for her mother from the young age of 10.

Nothing is impossible, if you believe. Listen to hear how Dr Sheila overcame her childhood story and succeed as a Mental Health Therapist/Counselor, a behavior Analyst, Published Author, Life Coach and Educational Director. She tells how she worked sometimes 4 jobs while caring for her terminally ill mother and still was able to earn her PH.D.

Connect with Coach Myrna on Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/

Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/

Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris

web: www.myrnayounghelps.com

To download a copy of Coach Myrna’s book “How to Mind your own business while working your day job”

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

http://myhelps.us/small-business-ebook/

Listen and Subscribe to my YouTube Channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MCYP6hF8XM

Coach Myrna: 7 Ways to Get Unstuck from Old Patterns

Out of the Snarescoach_myrna_youtube_thumbnail_04

One of the worst negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of being stuck. Defined as moving forward or back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you get yourself unstuck?

Our topic today is “7 Ways to get Unstuck from old patterns.” Listen Live on www.wdjyfm.com every Wednesday at 5.00 pm to the Mindset Transformation radio broadcast with Coach Myrna.

It is a place of no personal power

.
A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free coaching session.

She was in an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. So she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister’s home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister’s home because she didn’t have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her abusive relationship!

feeling-stuck

How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck. When the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation
It could be an intolerable boss
It could be a demeaning job.

How do you make the decision?

How do you find the strength to want something better?

How did I coach this situation?

This is the major benefit of coaching, the ability of the coach to see the frame.

You see you can’t see the frame when you are the picture!

I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her abusive boyfriend. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister’s lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn’t cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the negative feelings, we were then able to plan for the future.

You can’t plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in negative energy and self-pity.

I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to getting unstuck.

1: Hope and Faith!

Faith that God can make a way out of no way.

Faith that even though you can’t see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.

The message of faith in this story is that you can’t think that God intended for you to live in an abusive home being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.

Once you find that positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.

My coachee got the job.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don’t let him convince you that you can’t do better.

2: Another way to getting unstuck is to move the energy around.

The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have stuck energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don’t feel like doing until you feel like doing it!

Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.

You have to get over dissapointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don’t let tragedy destroy you.
Don’t stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can’t take big steps
Automatic negative thoughts don’t take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.

Similarly, being stuck on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.

It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.

It is important not to get stuck with your negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.

3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck

What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.

4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can’t or won’t move right now.

One way to do this is to memorize and recite the serenity prayer several times per day

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can’t coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.

I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!

So for example if you are stuck for the moment in job with a bad boss. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn’t know any better.

If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn’t know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.

This is a simple example but it works with anything. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.

Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.

5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself

Come back to the problem later
Write out options and solutions
Write out the worrying situation
Write what you can do about it
Write what you cannot control about it.

6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.

The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be stuck but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.

Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to get unstuck think differently, and you will feel differently.

Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.

Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.

Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.

Some of you are just stuck because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.

As Neapolitan Hill said

As a man thinking so is he.

Shakespeare puts it another way

“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself

You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances

Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.

You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.

What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?

I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.

We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.

Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can’t know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!

She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.

She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!

To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Adobe Photoshop PDF

Out of the Snares