The Best Marriage Advice for Wives to Fix a Broken Marriage

The Best Marriage Advice For Broken Marriage

Can you fix a broken marriage? Laura Doyle best selling author of the Surrendered Wife and the Empowered Wife gives us , marriage advice, on how to get your, husband’s, attention and affection.

My guest today is New York Times best-selling author Laura Doyle.  Laura is the author of “The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Secrets For Attracting Your Husband’s Time Attention and Affection” she’s also a relationship coach and a podcaster.

If you’re in any kind of situation right now where you’re needing some tips to get through a, bad marriage, and need some, marriage advice, This is the episode for you.  Be sure to download and listen to the full audio interview, because I’m understanding the pandemic has put a lot of strain on some, marriages.  We’re going to be giving you, marriage advice, to get you over the hump.

Download full Interview Here:

Secrets For Attracting Your Husband’s Attention Introduction

You know, marriages, are always an, ebb and flow, so if you’re in the ebb right now, we want to offer, marriage advice, help you out.

New York Times Bestselling Author Laura Doyle was the perfect wife…until she got married. When she told her husband how to be tidier, more romantic, and more ambitious, he avoided her. So, she dragged him to, marriage counseling, and nearly divorced him.

Laura’s mission today is to offer, marriage advice, to end world, divorce. She is the founder of the international relationship coach training school Laura Doyle Connect, the star of Empowered Wives on Amazon Prime, the Creator of The Ridiculously Happy Wife program, the host of The Empowered Wife Podcast and she has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America and The View.

She has given, marriage advice, to over 15,000 women fix their, relationships–even the hopeless ones– without their husband’s effort. But the thing that Laura is most proud of is her gratifying 31-year marriage with her hilarious husband John, who she says has been dressing himself since before she was born.

The Empowered Wife

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Can a wife fix her broken marriage?

Myrna – Let’s dive right in.  One of the first questions about, marriage advice,  I want to ask you is. How can a, wife, single-handedly bring a boring or broken, marriage, back to life?

Laura – There was a time when I would have been like Hell no, she can’t, because I had been trying myself for years with no success. I read all the books, got tons of, marriage advice, and I did what they said.  I dragged my, husband, to, marriage counseling, because I thought well then the, marriage counselor, can fix him and then I will finally be happy!

I told myself, I think that is how it works.  I am pretty sure how it works! Of course it didn’t work at all.  My, husband, and I were having wall-to-wall hostility and cold wars at my house, which is where there’s no talking for days and it’s just uncomfortable and tense.

You’re kind of avoiding each other and it was very painful and lonely. I wanted to have a great relationship with my, husband, so bad, but it just eluded me. I had thought that he was a great guy when I married him, but this is seven, eight, nine years in and I thought I married the wrong guy.  In fact, we went to, marriage counseling, for like over a year and spent nine thousand dollars and nothing changed. I remember I was sitting on the, marriage counselors, gray couch when I realized my, marriage, was not gonna work.  I’m gonna have to get divorced.  My, husband, is never going to change. I’m either going to spend the rest of my life in a, loveless marriage, or else I’m going to have to just move on.

What Marriage advice would you give: Should a wife stay or go?

I decided I would get a, divorce, but, there was just one problem, I was too embarrassed to get a, divorce, because all my relatives and friends had been to the wedding and I didn’t want them to know that we were struggling.  We would show up at parties after we’d had a big blow up in the car and put on the fake face.

So, I started doing research. I’d been a journalism major in school so, I thought I’m going to get, marriage advice, from other, wives, who have a, happy marriage, for at least at least 15 years; because that seemed like a really long time to be married to me at the time!

I’m going to ask them for, marriage advice, and what their secrets are and then whatever they say, I’m going to do. I’ll just experiment with it and if it works great,  I’ll keep it and if it doesn’t work,  I’m going to throw it out.

These married women gave me, marriage advice,  I didn’t even understand.  It didn’t make sense to me.  I thought they were going to say “You have to pick the right man” but they didn’t. They said things like:

  • I try never to criticize my husband no matter how much it seems like he deserves it.
  • I was like, you got anything else?

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Marriage Advise #1 to have a happy marriage

I was desperate enough to start doing some of the things these, wives, suggested. I remember it was not that long afterwards that I came through the front door from work or somewhere and when my, husband, saw me, face lit up. He was happy to see me!

I thought to myself, something’s working, this is working!  I got really excited, I got very hopeful. But then not that long afterwards, we were driving down the street in the car and we had another blow up. I was so discouraged, I was hoping this wasn’t going to happen anymore, because now I knew what to do. It wasn’t that hard, it was just new.

Over time I got the, marriage, I always dreamed.  My, husband, went back to making bedroom eyes at me again.  He would just grab me at the waist, I’d be passing him in the hall, and he would just pull me in for a kiss! We were laughing together again and now 31 years later, I still get to enjoy my, husband.

Marriage Advice # 2 Make your Husband feel like a man

Myrna – It does feel like a miracle. It turns this is, how to fix a, broken marriage, by changing our behavior towards our, husbands. The first secret is to not criticize our, husband; instead, make your, husband, feel like a man.

Laura – I would say the first secret and , marriage advice, was shocking for me, and I really had a very hard time getting to this, because I think as a woman, I felt like I was doing all the work. I was paying all the bills and doing more housework and I was making more money.  We think, why should I do any more work?  I’m already doing all the work in this relationship.

A big secret in that most people don’t know it is that women are actually the keepers of the relationship.

I mistakenly thought that being angry was gonna make my, husband, see how he should shape up. I thought if I give him the silent treatment or yell at him or even if I’d sit down and nicely tell him all the things he was doing wrong, he will change!  It doesn’t work.

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Marriage Advice # 3 Express your desires

Now I’ve learned this little secret which is that if I just express my desires in a way that inspires, I get a completely different response. Eg. I would say “John I would love a clean kitchen right”  and the kitchen would be in the same shape that it always was when I would be complaining about it, but this time he would say, “okay I’ll clean it!

Myrna – That’s interesting that you didn’t ask a direct question. I heard that women always think that men are mind readers, and they don’t state their desires clearly, they always expect the men to read their minds.  Instead of saying this kitchen is a mess, instead ask for help, John can you help me clean the kitchen.

Laura – If you say “John can you help me with the kitchen” maybe that wouldn’t work either, because then it’s like a direct order and, husbands, don’t like orders from their, wives.

Myrna – You are correct. Yet, they say we are the  difficult ones!

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Marriage Advice #4 Don’t be the boss of your husband

Laura – It’s funny that you say that, because I think that’s a very common, marriage advice, that you hear. Ask for what you want, but you can come off like his boss or his mother.

Husbands, are not sexually attracted to their mothers.

 

Their mother probably used to say “take out the trash” or “put your dish in the sink.”

What are some of the intimacy skills you teach in your book?

Myrna – you also talk about six, intimacy skills. What are they?

Laura – The first, marriage advice, to get to, intimacy, is to bring down the boss-like attitude into softness. One of the best, intimacy skills,

that I was pretty excited to learn about was and this is the best, aphrodisiac, on the planet for men and it’s free and it works fast!  I got this from the other, wives, who were, happily married.

 

The best, aphrodisiac, on the planet for men is respect.  It is like oxygen for men.

 

I think when people hear, surrendered wife, they think subservient or obedient or whatever, that’s not me. I’m a feminist, I’m well educated, I don’t do obedient. My opinion counts, but I started to get a superiority complex. I would see my, husband, make a mistake and I’d be like I’m probably better at this. I better show him how to do things.

 

  • I better help him be more ambitious.
  • I better help him be more romantic.
  • I better help him learn how to load the dishwasher the right way.

Marriage advice # 5 do not disrespect your husband

Like these things are so important! I did not know I was so disrespectful.  I was helpful in, wife, language, but disrespectful in, husband, language.  So, one of the chief phrases that I use now is

“I apologize for being disrespectful when I criticized you just now.” and I stop.

 

That’s a key part of that cheat phrase, you have to just stop because otherwise if you just go explaining it kills it.

I don’t really want to be disrespectful.  I don’t want to be that nagging, controlling, shrewish wife who thinks she knows more than her, husband, or that she is better than her, husband. That, wife, is lonely.

Conclusion Empowered Wife

Myrna – Let’s talk about your book The Empowered Wife and where can we get it.

Laura – As I mentioned there’s six, intimacy skills, we only talked about 3 of them today. The book lists them all and it’s just so nice to have all the training right there laid out in front of you.  Which is all laid out in the Empowered Wife, but I have something really fun going on right now too that you can download for free on my website at www.lauradoyle.org.

It’s called the, Adored Wife, Road Map. This lays out the steps to becoming an, Adored Wife, which let’s face it, don’t we all want to feel like, Adored Wives? I also talk about the three mistakes that almost every, wife, seems to be making when they’re trying to get their, husband’s, attention or his affection.  You’re trying to make things more passionate; you just want him to spend some time with you, these mistakes will backfire on you.  In the map I talk about what to do instead.  So you can download that at www.lauradoyle.org.

Additional Resources

Does Love have a Color: The Interracial Marriage Experience

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

You can, find your purpose, in life by paying attention to your passions. Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem.

Are you lifted by your purpose? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio and Podcast, I interview Ms Arifah Yusuf who is not only lifted by her, purpose, but founded a company called Lifted By Purpose where she helps youths in Toronto, Canada to become lifted by their purpose.

As Arifah was working with the youth she noticed their tattoos and decided to have a spin off company called Tattoo Stories. She used the tattoos stories to help her clients share their stories through the images they permanently put on their bodies.

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

How we perceive images can help us, find your purpose.

How you react to an image can tell you a lot about you, including your, life’s purpose.
Art speaks to us because it’s about us. It’s about our collective and individual journeys in this wondrous, immeasurable universe.

As Chuck Klosterman said, “Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.”  Images stir up numerous emotions in the beholder: awe, shock, sorrow, rage, and even repulsion. You may feel an intense, nameable emotion within seconds of seeing an image, or it could take several minutes of staring at the image before you can decide what it means to you. And as art is as diverse as the people who create and perceive it, the responses to it naturally vary. Art can play a crucial role in self-discovery and an individual’s, purpose in life.

Image test to find your purpose

Click the link below to take your image, purpose, test and see what it shows is your, purpose.

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I took this test and my test revealed that my purpose was to spread Happiness. So True.

“Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem. You can distinguish the lightness from the darkness and this is what takes you to another level. With happiness, everything can be cured and your purpose is to spread this feeling in times most needed.”

Bio

Arifah Yusuf, is a registered social worker from Ryerson University. She has 12 years experience engaging and developing programs for youth, facilitating workshops and providing counseling services. Ms. Yusuf was nominated and awarded the Community Health Champion Award for her dedication working with youth. In 2015 she received the leadership award from Canadian Alliance of Black Educators and in 2016, the Ontario Leading Women in Community Award.

She is trained and certified by the National Organization for Victims Assistance, Traumatology institute, and is a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. In her role at Lifted By purpose, she is the Founder and Executive Director.

 

How did you find your purpose?

Can you tell us your journey as a social worker and how it transitioned into founding Lifted by Purpose?
I grew up a a rough neighborhood in Toronto. As a youth, I had a family member who died from Homicide and that affected me profoundly; but I did not have an outlet to grieve so I became very depressed. As I got older, I wanted to become a social worker so I can help other youths who experienced trauma to have a space to talk and get help. This is how I found my, purpose.

Today “Lifted by purpose” helps youths, find their purpose, and provides services to help the youth with coping skills and prepare for a purposeful future.

Using tattoo stories to find the meaning of life

You have an offspring from Lifted by purpose called Tattoo stories. Can you tell our audience what that is about and how tattoo helps youths find their, purpose.

During counselling I started asking my clients to tell me their stories about the permanent tattoos on their bodies. I found that these tattoos were connected to their, purpose in life. Most life events are marked with a tattoo.

Services offered to help find your purpose

What are some projects and services provided by Lifted by purpose.
At Lifted by Purpose we focus on the arts.
Some of our services are:

  • Music stress program 10 to 20 weeks
  • Playlist therapy that identifies tracks that speak to grief or loss
  • How to have healthy Relationships
  • How to identify triggers that move them into making bad choices
  • Identify coping skills
  • Tattoo stories and what they mean

I see from the information you provided me for the interview that your target audience is young people between the ages of 16 to 29 years who are at risk or already in the justice system. How does your program help these young people, find your purpose.

Our program helps our youth to harness their story

  • Understand how to utilize their stories to understand themselves.
  • Reflect on how their stories has influenced their choices in life
  • How to flip a negative story into something positive
  • Action steps. Are they ready to make a change
  • How does their story affect their purpose and lift them up.

How does Tattoo stories tie into meaning of life

Tattoo stories Helps the youth understand their, purpose and have a voice that can help others on their journey.

 

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/6-ways-to-find-your-purpose/

 

 

How to Create the Freedom Lifestyle through Real Estate Investments.

How to Create the Freedom Lifestyle through real estate investments.

Would you like to learn the secrets of creating a Freedom Lifestyle with Real Estate investments? Then listen to this weeks podcast as I interview Mike Wolf, Real Estate Investor.

• Mike Wolf has been a real estate investor for over 28 years. Over the years he’s gone from being a workaholic who would put in 15 hour days 7 days a week to being someone who works smarter not harder. He regularly travels the globe doing humanitarian projects and also seeking sun and sand while living off the passive income that he has created through real estate.

But before I share Mike’s advise with you, let me give you my tip of the week. Because I know you really want to know how to get rich!!

You can read the full article here:

7 Steps to become Rich

How To Get Rich: A 7-Step Blueprint For Success

Step #1 — Add Massive Amounts Of Value

Go out there into the world with the desire to add massive amounts of value?.

Step #2 — Be Grateful

It’s really easy to look at certain strategies and techniques in business or in life that will help you make monumental leaps forward, financially speaking. But that doesn’t take into account one of the most important ingredients for success. If you’re serious about succeeding at the highest level, be grateful. Not tomorrow. Right now. In this very moment. Why? Because it could all disappear in an instant. Appreciate what you have while striving for more.

Step #3 — Get Specific About Your Goals

Getting wealthy or attaining a certain level of income is just like achieving any other goal. To get there, you need to ensure that you set those goals the right way. Set SMART goals and be very specific about them. Don’t set them arbitrarily in your mind. Write them down and come up with powerful reasons why you absolutely must achieve them. That’s one of the biggest and most potent internal transformations that you could make in your mind.

Step #4 — Create And Follow A Plan

When an airplane leaves from one city to the next, it has a plan. Its plan is called a flight plan. It’s a massive action plan that involves speed, altitude, direction of travel and many other facets. But what happens when there’s turbulence or air-traffic congestion or it needs to change course for some other reason? The plane changes its plan. But it doesn’t change its goal of where it’s going. Create and follow a plan, and don’t be afraid to change it if you see something isn’t working.

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Step #5 — Pay Yourself First

We’ve all heard the saying. Pay yourself first. But how many people follow it? The truth is that most of the world lives with a scarcity mentality. They go paycheck to paycheck, petrified of what might occur if they get sick or lose their job or something else traumatic happens. The truth is that if you don’t pay yourself first, you’ll never be able to get rich. It’s part of having an abundant mindset and should be prioritized at all costs.

Step #6 — Mind Your Own Business

While it is possible to make a lot of money while working for someone else, the truth is that you should mind your own business. Start and grow your own business, no matter what it might be. Identify what you’re really good at, and develop the skills into a business that you can expand over time. Don’t look for instant payouts or overnight riches. The reality is that it’s going to take time, so you might as well start now.

I wrote an Ebook called “How to Mind your own Business, While working your Day Job”

Download your FREE eBook here:
http://myhelps.us/

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

Step #7 — Contribute To Others

The last step resides in the concept of contribution. Even if you have no money, find a way to contribute to others. Look for opportunities where you can help those around you. Whether they’re in need or not, this mindset will drive home the point that you have more than you need, even if you physically don’t. Search for ways, every single day, where you can contribute either your time or your money to those who might be less fortunate, because that’s the true essence of success in every form.

Also click the link below to hear from Tony Robbins on how to create Wealth and Lifestyle

Learn the secrets to true wealth, abundance and financial freedom at TonyRobbins.com.

Show Notes:
1. Question 1: Can you tell our audience your journey from being a 15 hour per day 7 days a week workaholic to living off passive income and travelling the world.
2. Question 2: As an investor for 28 years, what are some things you have learned that work and some that don’t work.
3. Question 3: How does someone get started as a real estate investor?
4. Question 4: What would you say are some of the biggest myths in real estate investing?

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Question 5: How do you show potential clients that trading their time for dollars is not worth it?
What does your company do for investors around the world?

My company buys real estate in bulk 20 to 40 at a time for a great package price. We sell the properties that are not worth rehabbing to the Hedge Funds and then team fixes up the rest of the properties and have them ready for a turn key operation for our investors.

Question 6: What is the strategy for living Freedom Lifestyle through real estate investments?
Our strategy is to have the renters become potential home owners and give them a 3 year lease with the option to purchase. They then take care of the property as if is is their own so we have less vacancies and move outs.

1. Can you tell our audience about your webinar on how to create turn key properties?
How can our audience sign up for it?

Here is the link to sign up for Mike’s webinar

mikewolfproperties.com/webinars/turnkey-properties-in-atlanta-live/replay/

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