Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

Does Prison reform?

Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life?  Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of,  rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.

Listen to the full interview here:

Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate”   Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.

How did Rocky end up in Prison

Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.

Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age.  My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree.  I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.

I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.

Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.

Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico.  Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.

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Life in Boot Camps

My parents didn’t really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps.  They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you.  They’re going to lie to you, don’t listen to them.  Our communication was controlled, we weren’t allowed to write or talk call home.

These, group homes,  boot camps, very regimented.  As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you’re sleeping on the ground for 10 days,  you’re screamed at, or you’re beaten, and yelled at.  Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with  your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.

You’re forced to wake up at 2 am o’clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child.  It’s not hard to break a child especially at that age.

I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.

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Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?

Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?

Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing,  breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.

I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to  seven to nine years in, prison.

Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle.  I’m not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.

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Does a prison sentence reform the inmate?

Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle.  What you think, prison, did for you if anything?

Rocky – I was in prison for about two years,  in jail for a year then rehab for another year.

I learned so much in, prison.  There’s people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I  went in there as an adaptable chameleon.  I’ve been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution.  I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.

I didn’t really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?

On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.

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Selling Drugs in Prison

I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison.  Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.

Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?

Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison,  you meet someone that’s for lack of a better term gay and they’re happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.

It’s a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was  nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you’re in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.

I started plans for my business plan in, prison.

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Planning your life while inside Prison

When you take your time while you’re in, prison,  to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you’re already a step ahead versus the person who just

closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.

It’s such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I’ve learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse,  in , boot camps,  and being beaten in, jail.

Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison,  and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.

You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went  in, or you can go to, prison,  and you can get your GED.  Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.

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Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison

Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?

Rocky –  I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is

almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.

Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.

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Planning a successful business from Prison

Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they’re selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason.  I never thought I’d be in India after, prison.  While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.

Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?

Rocky – My main website and personal blog is hair made https://www.rockykandola.com/

And https://hairmaidenindia.com

You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes.  You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.

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Conclusion

In closing I want to remind you to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Podcast YouTube channel or iTunes and please rate and review our podcast.

I would also like to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach, we have a lot of life Coaches with daily inspirational messages.

 

Additional Resources

Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

 

5 Powerful Strategies to Achieve Any Goal

How to Set Strong Goals

Without a plan your, goals, are just a dreamThe most important ingredient for success is a plan!
A plan is usually the distinguishing feature in the success or failure of any, goal.

A study of 100 students in business school found that 66% of students that wrote a business plan succeeded in business even though the business plan was not an accurate accounting of where the business ended up. It seemed that just formulating a plan makes you succeed because it creates a visionary.

Here are 5 strategies to help you achieve your, goals:

1. Faith,  You must believe in yourself.

  • A dream or can inspire you and motivate you to action only if you Believe that you can make it happen.

Some don’ts:

  • Don’t have a, plan B.
    When you have a, plan B, you are telling your subconscious that you don’t believe that the plan “A” is going to work.
  • Don’t tell yourself that your, goal, is not realistic. Just remember to reap where you plant.

“If you can think it you can achieve it” ~~Ophra Winfrey

  • Watch your self-talk and internal dialogue.
    Eg. Your, goal, is to be Regional Vice President Sales but; you tell yourself it will never happen because your boss does not like you. Whether that is a fact or not, you will never be promoted to Regional Vice President Sales until you replace that thought with a winning one.

 

  • 2. Clarity – Your , goals, must be clear.

    What do you want? What is your destination end? What is the vision?
    Would you like “Peace of mind?”
    Would you like “Financial freedom, and security?”
    Would you like “A higher quality of life for you and your family?”

It is not more money. It is not to own your own home your, goals, are what you are going to get from achieving these things.

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3. Jump in – Stop waiting for the right time.

  • Chris Gardner calls this “stop digging your potatoes”
    There is never a better time than the present.
    Don’t wait until you have the time to upgrade your education.
    Don’t wait until you are fired from the job you hate to look for a better one.
    Stop making excuses and jump in.

4. Understand your past to gain, clarity, for your, goals

  • Your past has valuable information about who you are and why you are. It is a storehouse of information.

“Those who cannot remember the past is bound to repeat it.”

It has evidence of where you get stuck, evidence of what you do when the going gets tough, which road do you choose, evidence of your beliefs.

Examine the movie of your life and understand the lessons this helps with self-mastery.
All experiences from your personal library are valuable to create self-awareness.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

5. Understand your Why. Why do you want to achieve this, goal.

  • Why do you want to leave a Legacy?
    Why would you like financial freedom?

It is the general belief that the organizing power of the Universe will help those whose, goals, are to serve humanity. Your Why should benefit others and not just yourself.

How to set Goals vs Objectives

Whether you’re working on a team project or defining, goals, for an entire company, it’s critical your employees are on the same page when it comes to terminology.

Goal setting, is different from objectives, often seem like two interchangeable phrases. “We have ambitious, goals, for the new year,” you might tell your marketing team, following up with, “Our objectives are aggressive, but entirely possible.”

When used in a marketing context, it’s easy to misconstrue. To ensure efficiency and unity, then, it’s vital your employees are up-to-date on the two terms you likely use when outlining your quarterly and yearly strategy.

Motivation for Goals is Purpose

Goals, are also different from purpose,  are almost similar and one could hardly come across any difference between the two at one glance. Purpose and, clarity, are interlinked, because purpose is the, motivation.  .

One of the main differences that can be seen between the two is in the time factor. People try to reach their achievements by setting deadlines. On the other hand, deadlines are not applicable in a purpose.

It can be called as the point one wishes to achieve. On the other hand, purpose can be called as the reason one aims at to achieve a goal. Unlike purposes, goals always go forward in a specific direction.

Purpose, which is all about direction, is that something that influences drive. Unlike dreams purpose is broader and deeper.

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Purpose is directly influenced by the values and beliefs one holds. Purpose is deeply rooted in a person. Unlike goals, purpose can b said to be central to human life.

Goals, and  purpose, can be measured whereas purpose cannot be measured. The end result can be seen whereas in purpose, it is not that visible. Achievement,  aims that a person seeks. It is that which one wants to accomplish. It involves the establishing of specific, realistic and attainable objectives.

Goals, have a specific target. On the other hand, Purpose does not have a specific aim. Goals, can be short term, long term or personal. However, a purpose cannot be short or long term but only pertains to something personal.

Purpose can be termed as a fundamental need of a human being, which gives a meaning to his actions.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-aim-and-purpose

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

 

 

7 reasons Mindfulness Meditation can Grow your Business

detoxing the body and soul

Mindfulness Meditation,  is not just for Buddhists and monks.  Meditation, unlocks the power you have within to take your business to the top.

When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, spirituality, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self.  As many successful entrepreneurs know, reduced stress  is the foundation to creating the business and lifestyle you want.  If you are not removing your limiting beliefs and constantly working on your vision, you are limiting your own growth and the growth of your company. You are the lid!

Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation

As a leader or an Entrepreneur there is no better way to overcome obstacles, rise to the top or be creative with out first quieting the noise in your head. When you become still you tap into your creative power by connecting to your source. During, mindfulness meditation, you experience that peace that surpasses all understanding that the bible talks about.  When you forget about all the things you have to do and just focus on the life inside you by witnessing your breathing, you move closer to becoming conscious and understand your purpose. Being quiet and still allows you to listen to instructions from the  higher power who guides you. It is said that it is easier to guide a horse in the direction it is running in; so when you fall into line with what God wants you to do for his Kingdom then your business and your life become less of a struggle.

The reasons we practice, mindfulness meditation, are as varied as the many ways there are to, meditate. In the West, most people are drawn to, mindfulness meditation, to quiet the internal chatter of the brain and to reduce stress. Mindfulness meditation, is indeed a very effective stress reducer, but its benefits—sometimes mysteriously hidden—are far more bountiful. The actual act of, mindfulness meditation, can be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath while repeating silently a, mantra, a word or phrase. for example the, om mantra, or the Gayatri mantra. There are countless traditions and no singular “correct” way to practice, mindfulness meditation.

Find a practice that you like and stick with it for a while. Notice how you feel as you go about your days. If you find that you have more patience, feel grounded and better able to respond to stressful situations, and are more in touch with your intuition or “gut feelings,” you are enjoying the many benefits of, mindfulness meditation.

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Transform Your mind Podcast

I practice, mindfulness meditation, by finding a quiet place in the morning as I drink my coffee. I listen to a, guided mindfulness meditation, tape on topics such as “activating consciousness“, visionary me meditation, “the law of attraction” etc. as I listen I clear my mind by mentally repeating a centering thought and witnessing my breathing.  At the end of my meditation I am  relaxed,  totally open and creative. I usually write some deep insights after my meditation sessions and I get answers from God and the Universe to questions I ask. This is the perfect way to become a visionary and an innovate leader.

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Mindfulness Meditation, is good for our Physical Bodies

Scientists gathering data on, mindfulness meditation, have found that a consistent practice of, mantra meditation, not only boosts the mind, but it also bolsters the body. Studies shows that, meditation, can help reverse heart disease, reduce pain, and support the immune system, better enabling it to fight disease.

The mind-body connection between stress and disease is abundantly apparent as science is finding that, mindfulness meditation, can lower production of the stress hormone cortisol. This means, mediators, are better able to adapt to stress in their lives.

2: Mindfulness Meditation, is good for Our Relationships

Paradoxically, while, meditation, helps us tune in and turn inward to our true essence, it also helps us detach from our own egos to connect with others in more meaningful ways. Couples counselors have found when they assign their clients,  mindfulness meditation, the couples become less angry, more self-reflective, and more loving. When we become aware of—and honor—our interconnection with other beings, we are able to recast our perspectives, see our worries in a different light, and embrace gratitude, which is the heart’s memory.

The bible teaches that we can’t change others only ourselves and when we, meditate, we tune into who we really are. Our ancestral legacy is a brain that is primed to focus on negative experiences and has a tendency to get stuck in conditioned patterns of thinking, returning again and again to thoughts of anxiety, depression, and limitation. So in our relationships we tend to focus on what we do not have instead of what we do have.  As you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as “witnessing awareness”—the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is extremely valuable in every relationship.

3: Mindfulness Meditation, helps prolong our lives

When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self.  Yogis and doctors both agree, mindfulness meditation, even just a few minutes of deep breathing—relaxes the brain, reduces anxiety, and decreases depression. We say we can’t afford the time to, meditate, but the truth is we can’t afford not to. When we tell ourselves we don’t have time to exercise, or meditate, then we will make time for sickness and depression. During most of our waking lives, our minds are engaged in a continuous internal dialogue in which the meaning and emotional associations of one thought triggers the next.

We hear a snippet of music and suddenly we’re thinking about the first time we heard that song with an old boyfriend or girlfriend and how that relationship ended. If we’re still holding emotional pain over that ending, those feelings may bubble up and then our mind may veer into criticism, self-pity, or worries about the future. Mindfulness Meditation, is one of the best tools we have to counter the brain’s negativity bias, release accumulated stress, foster positive experiences and intentions, and enjoy the peace of present moment awareness. A large body of research has established that having a regular meditation practice produces tangible benefits for mental and physical health, including:

  • Decreased blood pressure and hypertension
  • Lowered cholesterol levels
  • Reduced production of “stress hormones,” including cortisol and adrenaline
  • More efficient oxygen use by the body
  • Increased production of the anti-aging hormone DHEA
  • Improved immune function
  • Decreased anxiety, and insomnia

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4: Mindfulness Meditation, Reduces Stress and Burnout

What role is more stressful than the role of a Leader? None, as a Leader you are responsible for the lives of your employees, families, and your commitment to your community? Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress can contribute to:

  • high blood pressure,
  • heart disease,
  • stomach ulcers,
  • autoimmune diseases,
  • anxiety,
  • cancer,
  • insomnia,
  • chronic fatigue,
  • obesity,
  • depression,
  • and accelerated aging.

During, mindfulness meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response—that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs. All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can—or staying to fight. Although few people reading this face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a spouse, or a disagreement.

Regular, meditation, dissipates accumulated stress and cultivates a state of restful alertness. There are many compelling studies showing the power of, mindfulness meditation, to relieve stress and promote inner calm. For example, a 2011 study published in the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal found that full-time workers who spent a few hours each week practicing, mindfulness meditation, reported a significant decrease in job stress, anxiety, and depressed mood.  The reason, meditation, is so popular among successful individuals is it helps release stress, lets go of excess thoughts and expand awareness. As you dive deeper into your, mindfulness meditation, practice you see people events and circumstances as they really are, not as they are perceived to be. It allows you to have an internal Locus of control. That means that you don’t react to external stimuli but are proactive with action plans and goals. It also means that as challenges arise in your business, you will not get overwhelmed; but face those challenges calmly and efficiently.  As an Entrepreneur Leader, meditation allows you to turn your failures into successes.

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5: Mindfulness Meditation, Enhances Your Concentration, Memory, and Ability to Learn

As researchers have found, mindfulness meditation, can help you tap into your brain’s deepest potential to focus, learn, and adapt. While scientists used to believe that beyond a certain age, the brain couldn’t change or grow, we now know that the brain has a quality known as plasticity, enabling it to grow new neurons and transform throughout our lives.  Meditation is a powerful tool for awakening new neural connections and even transforming regions of the brain.  A recent study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that after only eight weeks of meditation, participants experienced beneficial growth in the brain areas associated with memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress regulation.  In addition, the meditators reported decreased feelings of anxiety and greater feelings of calm. This study adds to the expanding body of research about the brain’s amazing plasticity and ability to change habitual stress patterns.

Many other studies provide evidence for the value of, mindfulness meditation, in improving the ability to stay focused in world filled with increasing distractions, and demands on our attention. For example, research conducted by the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center showed that teenagers and adults with ADHD who practiced various forms of, meditation for just eight weeks improved their ability to concentrate on tasks, even when attempts were made to distract them. In the world of the Entrepreneur Leader, the ability to focus when you are pulled in so many different directions is extremely important to your success.

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6: Mindfulness Meditation, Improves Your Creativity and Problem-Solving Skills in your Business

We each have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day—unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. Mindfulness meditation, is a powerful practice for going beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open to new insights, intuition, and ideas. And as we meditate and focus on our breathing, we stop this continuous cycle.

 

7: Mindfulness Meditation, Decreases Anxiety, and Insomnia

The emotional effects of sitting quietly and going within are profound.  The deep state of rest produced by, mindfulness meditation, triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Each of these naturally occurring brain chemicals has been linked to different aspects of happiness:

Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, feel rewarded, and maintain focus. Serotonin has a calming effect. It eases tension and helps us feel less stressed and more relaxed and focused. Low levels of this neurotransmitter have been linked to migraines, anxiety, bipolar disorder, apathy, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, and insomnia. Oxytocin (the same chemical whose levels rise during sexual arousal and breastfeeding), is a pleasure hormone. It creates feelings of calm, contentment, and security, while reducing fear and anxiety.  Endorphins are most commonly known as the chemicals that create the exhilaration commonly labeled “the runner’s high.” These neurotransmitters play many roles related to well being, including decreasing feelings of pain and reducing the side effects of stress.

Additional Resources 

https://blog.myhelps.us/medical-intuitive-readings-what-your-spirit-is-telling-you-through-symptoms/

 

 

How to Navigate Social Cues with Aspergers Diagnosis

Aspergers Syndrome

Daniel Mangena was diagnosed with, Aspergers, in his late 20’s.  Asperger’s syndrome, is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.

Listen to full interview here:

 

I’m very familiar with, Aspergers, because I have a 21 year old son who has been diagnosed with, Asperger’s syndrome, around 10 years of age.

So this interview with Daniel will be on the topic How to Navigate Social Cues with, Aspergers, Diagnosis

My son was so afraid of social interactions, he couldn’t speak to strangers. He was so nervous speaking to people that he developed a stutter and the stutter made him almost unintelligible.  As he’s grew older, he practiced talking to people. He would talk to everybody that he meets, everybody would come up to me and say your son is such a wonderful kid that’s, because he practiced and now he doesn’t have the stutter and not afraid of talking to people.

Introduction to Asperger’s Syndrome

After receiving a late diagnosis of, Asperger, and experiencing what can only be described as life-shattering trauma at the age of just 20, Daniel spent the next seven years struggling to keep his revelations and events from spilling in to his everyday life as a result of his struggles.

Daniel built a simple four-step system called “Beyond Intentional Paradigm”. Initially, it was built as a lifeline while he was grappling with suicidal thoughts; but beyond intention has transformed Daniel’s life from misery into celebration through his own struggles. Daniel found a path to lasting joy and purpose and he wants nothing more than to share the tools that saved his life.

Daniel is the host of a “Do It with Dan” podcast series, regular blogs published articles and worldwide workshops that have helped thousands across the globe. His prolific work recently earned him a spot in the Wall Street Journal as a master of success and a scene on Wall Street Journal, Market Watch, ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox.

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Late Diagnosis of Asperger and lack of friendships

Myrna – You were diagnosed in your twenties with Asperger’s. Did your family miss your lack of, social cues, or do you think you developed, Asperger, late?

Daniel – As a teenager, I’ve always been really blessed. For me, Asperger, has been a gift. It’s been a gift because the way that my brain works has allowed me to achieve a lot and the social challenges and lack of, social cues, have effectively just been the cost of doing business. When you look at my brilliance, that came out academically including great achievements. I kind of just put up with me living with my foot in my mouth and being horribly awkward and unable to really relate, because there were other benefits that came with my diagnosis.

When things became clearer, siblings would tell stories and they’re like, but we love you so because you were a loner. I don’t really have friends. I never developed relationships and friendships  other than my two friends – Nathan and Jamie, who were my friends since I was 15. I don’t have any friends from middle school. I don’t have any friends from high school.  I’ve got one friend from college, because I didn’t know how to form those bonds with people even when people wanted to form bonds with me. I didn’t know how to hold and maintain those relationships.

I was missing out and studied much like your son practiced to learn, to understand what those shortfalls were and although it’s a very conscious process, was able to then effectively operate socially.

Myrna – I understand the lack of friends because my son never developed friendships.  I had twin girls, their world was friends.  They didn’t go to school to learn, they went to school to see their friends! My son’s friends were his teachers.

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Autism vs Aspergers

Myrna – Tell us what is,  Asperger’s syndrome, and why is it that people with, Aspergers, can’t understand, social cues?

Daniel – Essentially, the difference between what is commonly recognized as, Autism vs. Aspergers, is that someone that’s more formally viewed as, autistic, doesn’t have the ability to communicate with the outside world. Whereas, Aspergers, have the same thought processes; but we can actually communicate it. Whereas with, autism, especially if someone’s non-verbal, they have no way to communicate those thought processes.

I found in my own experience that everything works in ones and zeros. It’s very systematic and when there’s a disconnection in that systemization, it falls apart.  Social cues, are a very fluid, it’s an art form. It’s not there’s a science to it, but there’s an art form to it which doesn’t move in ones and zeros.

People that have brains like me don’t know what to do with it and also because we’re always things that you do unconsciously. For example, in this conversation I have to maintain concentration the entire time because I have to be aware that just because I’ve got something to say, doesn’t mean that I have to say it now.

Myrna – My doctor compared my son to Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory.  Just like Sheldon has to work very hard on understanding, social cues, and he would say and what he shouldn’t say. He’s usually very rude because he doesn’t think about the other person’s feelings. He just says what he feels or thinks.

Daniel – What I found to be my happy place with relationships and with, social cues, is to forget what I am thinking.  I just walk away from it, I don’t entertain it.

Asperger-DSM5
Asperger-DSM5

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Using Mindfulness to understand Social Cues

Myrna – I know that you’re a podcast host and you interview people, so when you’re interviewing like when you’re doing this interview or when you’re the host and you’re talking, do you do the same thing? Do you have to get out of your head and operate from your heart space to understand, social cues, or is there other ways that you you’re handling that situation?

Daniel – First and foremost, by using my tools of mindfulness and consciousness in order to engage in this space, I set very clear intensions about this time and set them aside. I’ve given my mind enough to let go by giving a box to play in. I have genuine conversations; I don’t have to think about what I’m going to say, because I’m speaking from the heart. I’m thinking about how to engage with you, I’m holding that container; but in terms of the communication that’s coming from the framework within my heart.

There’s a conscious process in terms of setting that space to this is back and forth I’m sticking clear with my intention to share this space with you, to add value to your community, to create something beautiful together; but then I’m not thinking about what to say. I’m allowing the truth to come from heart based communication.

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What is Micro Shifting and how does it help with Asperger’s Syndrome?

Myrna – In your Bio, you talked about, Micro Shifting. How can people with, Aspergers, use, micro shifting? Is there something specifically that you do because of the, Asperger, diagnosis or can anybody use this, micro shifting?

Daniel – Micro, Shifting, has actually shown and proven itself to be one of the most popular aspects of my work with people, because it just makes good sense and just gets good results.  Anybody can have a quantum leap.  Anyone can have a massive shift.  Anyone can have that; but everybody can make baby steps. Baby steps move past resistance and moves past fear because you’re just taking one step.

I’m not taking on the whole thing.  Procrastination drops down and you can start to build a momentum towards success in an endeavor. Micro, shifting,  is a consistent series of baby steps in the direction of a consciously chosen outcome. That’s how I define it. Creates a momentum, a rhythm that gets us to where we’re going without the anxiety around the big goal, without the ‘I can’t do it’, without the resistance, just one step at a time.

It’s, shifting, your mind to let’s say if you’ve got a big goal, for instance – you want to write a book. What you’re saying is that you take one step and then you complete that step and then you take another step. I understand the micro baby steps and the, shifting, is what you’re saying is once you’ve completed this one step then you go on to the next one.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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Micro Shifting to Millions

Myrna – You don’t look at the big picture like macro? You just do micro, shifting. That’s good.

Daniel – There’s a couple of overlays, there not to cut but there’s a couple of overlays. First and foremost, Micro, shifting, in its pure essence is very much a surrender based process because you’re opening up to God or the universe to present what that next step is and once that step is presented, then you ask yourself what is the smallest minimum deliverable – something I know I can do to move towards this step that God or the universe has presented to me.

I take that step, I celebrate and then I’m open to what the next step is holding i.e. the intention of what the final goal is. I don’t need to keep looking at the big goal. I know if I go one step at a time, God’s got my back on this one step at a time and then trusting that that next step is going to be revealed. Regardless of what shows up even if it looks like it’s going wrong trusting that everything’s going right, because the universe is taking care of me.  God’s got my back. The universe only gives me what I can handle and because I’ve been very conscious in choosing what I’m moving towards.

It is one of the cornerstones to teach. I don’t do so much coaching. I’ve got a group program, my signature program is called “Micro to Millions” (principally around financial abundance). But people come for other things too because another cornerstone is that once you effect change somewhere it can be everywhere.

So, if I work on my challenges around abundance, I can use that as the doorway to work on my relationships to work on my health. We find that all the time people come because they want to make money. They find the love of their life, their health improves and they find their purpose and so on and so forth. Micro, shifting, is a cornerstone that’s why it’s called “Micro to Millions” because we are micro, shifting,  all the way up to whatever abundance we want to get to.

 

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TuneIn Radio

Asperger’s Syndrome and Conscious Living 

Let’s finish up with the, Asperger’s Syndrome. How can someone with, Aspergers, live consciously?

Daniel – I would have thought that’s a little difficult. I would actually say someone living with, Aspergers, is more properly set up to live consciously, because so much of our life is happening at a conscious level. It’s not happening at an unconscious level because we’re stepping through it as a process of thought, so we have the opportunity to interject along the way and introduce something different.

So, when I look at my social interactions for example, it’s actually process wise more feasible that I can be more aware and be more present. When I’m having a conversation with you, because I’m doing it step by step anyway it’s not just an auto play that’s happening. I’m moving through it so I have more opportunity to step in and say am I having this conversation with you, with love and compassion. Am I intentional in what I want to gather from this conversation?

What I want to add to this conversation where I am? Where’s my attention? Where’s my awareness? There’s actually more opportunity now. Opportunity doesn’t mean there’s going to be a probability of the outcome; but it does mean that there’s an opportunity. Again that’s one of the things I’m grateful for with my, Aspergers.

I have more opportunity to be presently aware, because I’ve got that step-by-step process happening in the background.

Myrna – If I were to break that down, I think what you’re saying is the, Aspergers, mind. Because it’s logical and it’s doing the zero one thing that you’re more conscious of what’s going on because you were doing it logically. What you’re saying, you’re doing it. There’s opportunity there to be conscious but we can be consciously unconscious.

Don’t forget, we can be unconscious to our consciousness just because it’s doesn’t mean I’m giving up my attention. Go ahead and explain that one unconscious consciousness. The opportunity is there for me to be aware because it’s a step-by-step process. It doesn’t mean that I’m giving it my attention, I still have to give my attention to that step-by-step process. I get you see one coming and it’s by giving it my attention now. There’s a level of consciousness to it and now I can start to introduce intentionality in how I’m stepping through those communication.

Do it with Dan Podcast

Tell us about your podcast “Do it with Dan”

Dreamwithdan.com is my website and that’s where everything is – my books are there, podcasts, any free trainings and master classes. There’s normally something. My next sort of major free offering is on the 15th of November – doing completely free workshop to empower business owners to create more abundance not-speaking for 15 minutes and selling for the rest of the time.

I’m actually recording a workshop and then I’m going to be selling later. I’m delivering a workshop that’s going to sell for a hundred dollars. We’re delivering it for free on the 15th of November. I’m excited about that.  All details for that sort of thing are always going to be on the website. My podcast is me just having conversations with people. I want to inspire change, remove the excuses that we have around change that we say we can’t have and to give people tools that they can employ to create more change again.

Leaning towards this mission of more people living abundant joyful purpose-driven life, because if they’re doing that, then we can reach that tipping point where we move from the 80 percent of negative to 80 of positive and that’s what I’m really passionate about.

Conclusion

Myrna – Thank you for sharing with me as an Asperger parent. Maybe the listeners might have, Aspergers, because I think it’s a big diagnosis now, right? They’re saying that one in four boys has autism and the, Aspergers, is part of the, autism, spectrum.

A large amount of the population is working with some form of social anxiety.   I was reading something on Quora about, Aspergers, and one of the things the guy was saying is that you know he couldn’t follow instructions and I will tell you that was my biggest pet peeve with my son. I would tell him to do one thing and he does something totally different and apparently that’s part of the Asperger brain to you can’t follow complex instructions.

We can be successful even with a diagnosis as, Aspergers. It doesn’t have to give you a life that doesn’t have any quality and I know again, in your bio you mentioned that when you first got the diagnosis it was a hard. It was hard for you and you had some struggles even thinking of ending your life – kind of suicidal thoughts but you’ve worked with it and now you’re on the other end and you’re teaching.

I want to encourage you to subscribe to my YouTube channel so that you can watch our interview instead of just listening to it. But if you prefer to listen to it and you’re listening on iTunes, I would love for you to subscribe. The more subscriptions we get of course, we’re able to take the message to a wider audience.

I also want to invite you guys to join my life coaching group on Facebook. The group is growing by leaps and bounds.

Additional Resources

Can Introverts be Successful Networkers?

 

Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares

 

In her book ” Out of the Snares, Author Bernadette Trotman shares how, self love, can bring you out of the snares  of, poverty, addiction, child abuse and any other snare of the trapper.

The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful! and, self love, is this love turned inside.
Love including, self love is  the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations of, addictions, and, generational curses.

God’s Love for Humanity

God’s love, for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.

A mother’s love, for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.

The love we have for our wife and husband keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.

We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!

Research shows that this positive energy force cleanses our ethereal bodies and removes patches of stuck energies that can cause disease.

Get out of the Snares with Self Love

In my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement,
I share my encounters with love. These encounters have shaped my current world and allowed me to embrace love because I know from personal experiences how good it feels!

The energy of love combined with, sexual energy, is even more powerful!
When you transmute, sexual energy, for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!

But, it all starts with self-love.
Justin Bieber – Love Yourself (PURPOSE : The Movement)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyEuk8j8imI

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

In order for you to give love to another you must first have, self love, inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.

You have to love God, your creator.

When you have, self love, you gain, self confidence

Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1ECHTnc64

Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.

This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?

Who wouldn’t have, self love, after all this.

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Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!

Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense, self love.

In his book “How to win Business and Influence Friends” by Tim Sanders, Chief solutions Officer at Yahoo calls this BizLove from, self love.
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Is-Killer-App-Influence/dp/1400046831

This book shows how to be a LoveCat at work.

Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work with, self love:

1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word, self love, whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.

All in all, self love, is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.

It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back

Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE

If you are an author and would like to be featured in this Blog, radio and podcast

Click this link to order your interview

Author Interview, Transform your mind podcast
Author Interview

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“Small Business, How to Mind your own business while working your day job”
Love yourself enough to start building your personal Brand.

Click here for more information

Small Business:How to Mind Your Own Business while Working your Day Job

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

Additional Resources

“About Myrna Young Life Coach”

 

How to love yourself

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.

The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.

Climbing Mount Everest

Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest.  Let’s be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.

The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.

Download on iTunes

The Mindset of a Mount Everest Climber

As an, Everest, mountain climber,  you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don’t die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.

What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit,  Mount Everest?

I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth,  and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:

7 Characteristics  of Personal Growth

1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let’s put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don’t seem of this magnitude!

2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit,  Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth  and she climbed it and won.

Stitcher

 

3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,

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4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.

5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can’t scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!

6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.

7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!

What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!

If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.

Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!

Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter

If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.

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Additional Resources
Howe Committed Are You? – 4 Steps For Climbing Your Personal Mountains
https://www.finerminds.com/mind-power/personal-mountains/
How to Face a Challenge With Confidence
https://chopra.com/articles/how-to-face-a-challenge-with-confidence
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/https://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

How Spiritual Awakening Can Solve Life’s Problems

spiritual awakening meditation

Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream.  When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness.   Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence.  Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.

Introduction to Spiritual Awakening

Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!

The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”

Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.

Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way;  not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us.  Live in the now”.

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When your, awareness,  or,  spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened,  your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality.  Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.

The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness,  you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.

There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.

Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.

 

Level 1: Contracted Awareness  or no Spirituality 

This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening.  Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move.  As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality.  If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:

  • Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
  • You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
  • There is an underlying anxiety and fear of failure.
  • Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
  • As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.

You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:

  • Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality,  that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with  positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
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Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening 

This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality.  For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:

  • The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
  • You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
  • More people connect with you. You get council
  • You approach decisions with confidence.
  • You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
  • With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.

You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and,  spirituality.

 

Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening  or Enlightenment

Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.

  • You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
  • Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
  • The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
  • The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
  • You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
  • You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.

To be completely established in pure, awareness, of,  spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.

Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness,  to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.

Problems with, Spirituality

Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and,  spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:

  • You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
  • At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
  • You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
  • While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
  • You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.

It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness,  that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.

 

Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening

Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.

 

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

 

 

 

Why Chemistry is the Most Important Ingredient in Relationships

Maintaining long- term Relationships

Chemistry, is energy.  It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA.

As we head into the New Year I know that many of you are engaging the, Law of Attraction, to bring you a spouse or a mate in 2021.

We are not meant to be alone. The Bible says that Two are better than one, because If either of them falls down, one can help the other,  so we are hard wired with the need to share our lives with a significant other.

Listen to the audio here:

What are the 3 most important qualities in Relationships

I want to share three of the foundational qualities of love, relationships.

  • Compatibility,
  • Chemistry, and
  • Communication
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Let’s start with, compatibility. There is a significant amount of dating sites connecting couples based on, compatibility.

Is Compatibility the most Important quality in Relationships’

Compatibility, is important; but not the most important. Compatibility, is based on likes and dislikes, Like Religious preferences, standard of living, education etc.

But there is an old saying that says opposites attract.

There is also a new word floating around the internet and that is, polarity. Polarity is like the north and South Pole. Opposite ends of the spectrum and we need this polarity in relationships to keep the fires burning.

So when you marry someone who is just like you and you are so, compatible, love coaches say that sooner or later married couples stop having sex because there is no, polarity.

Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers
Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers

What is Chemistry?

Now let’s look at, Chemistry. Chemistry, is energy.  It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA. It is random; but absolutely essential for a long lasting, love connection. It is what makes your heart ache when you are apart.

Chemistry, is also reflected in the bedroom. A lack of, chemistry, will mean boring, emotionless sex. A high degree of, chemistry, will mean intense, life-altering, heart-pounding sex that causes your mind to cosmically splatter itself on the walls of your consciousness. Good times.

Some call , chemistry, connection but whatever you call it, you know when it is there and when it is not.

Some call, chemistry, meeting your, soul mate. I do believe that our souls know when we connect to our perfect match. When you meet your,  soul mate, the connection is immediate, you feel the, chemistry.

Steve Harvey said that his wife walked into one of his comedy shows in a crowd of hundreds and he stopped what he was doing and told her she was going to be his wife. There are thousands of stories like this to highlight what, chemistry, looks like.

When my husband first saw me, he said he felt this warm feeling in his body that is DNA, that is, chemistry!  The first time I spoke to my husband  my heart did summersaults for a week! Definitely, chemistry.

But here is the question of the day. Can you have a successful marriage with, compatibility, and no, chemistry? I am sure you can with commitment; but it would be equivalent to being married to your roommate.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Is Effective Communication the foundation for a Happy Marriage?

Finally, let’s look at, communication

Communication, usually gets the blame when a marriage or relationship fail, because if there is no, communication, you can’t have a successful marriage or relationship.

We all have different, communication, styles so, effective communication, is the most important and the least understood dynamic. It is the deal breaker.

Conclusion: Chemistry Compatibility Communication

As we wrap up, I want to leave you with some of the main differences between men and women.

  • Women are all about their feelings, Men don’t trust feelings.
  • Women connect emotionally with “talking,” Men talk to pass on data, period.
  • Women have to feel good to do good, Men have to do good to feel good.
  • Women want to hear all about it, Men don’t want to talk about it.
  • Women need to feel connected to have sex, Men connect with sex.
  • Women’s happiness resides in the state of their relationships;  all their relationships. Men’s happiness resides in their accomplishments and their ability to provide and protect their love ones.
  • Women get depressed when they feel like all they do is give but that they don’t get back, while Men get depressed when they feel no one appreciates them.

Understanding these differences is the first step towards creating successful long  lasting relationships. Check out John Gray book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”

Additional Resources

Are you waiting on Love? How Single Women over 40 Find Love

 

How to, Find your Soulmate

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

How to Change Core Beliefs

 

Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true.  What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.

Listen to full interview here: 

For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.

Introduction Core Beliefs 

Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.

The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:

  • How we feel love,
  • our self-worth,
  • how we feel security, and
  • fulfillment.
  • Life after death. 

Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal. 

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs 

A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief.  Therefore, the rules that apply to the,  Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.

Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith  Without Works Is Dead”.

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief? 

If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away.  Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.

Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world.  Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!

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Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Look upon what’s happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.

Are there any patterns you see? For example:

  • Do all your relationships fail?
  • Are you in constant debt?
  • Do you find it hard to keep friends?

Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:

  • What do I want?
  • What would I have to believe in order to have this?

Next, you’re going to re-program yourself.

You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief,  For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!

Additional resources:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.

For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.

This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

infinite possibility

In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility,  until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality. 

In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Introduction 

Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility,  into a particle.

Let me explain:  when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose.  God said

“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.

As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility,  We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility.  Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer. 

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TuneIn Radio

Your, Vortex, represents your Law of Attraction 

The wave, infinite possibility,  is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don’t need to know math. 

I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr, I have a dream speech sees the, infinite possibility, of race

I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex. 

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.

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As James Allen said, As a man thinketh so is he. You become what you think about, so think as a wave and embrace the, infinite possibilities, of your life.

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/