In this blog post, I’m going to talk about the dangers of relying on your feelings. I think a lot of people rely on their feelings to guide them through life, but this isn’t always the best way to go.
This is illustrated in the bible story of Jacob and Essau. In the bible story of Isaac Jacob and Essau. Isaac told Essau to go out and find something wild and cook it the way I like it, then I am going to bless you. But Rebecca, Esau’s mother cooked up a scheme to fool Isaac because he was blind and could not see.
She went into the back yard and killed something that was not wild and cooked it to make it taste like something wild and gave it to Jacob to take to his father. When Jacob told her that his brother was hairy and he had smooth skin. His mother glued animal skin to his arms so he would feel like his brother. This story shows the dangers of relying on your feelings.
God expects you to do something before he blesses you
As a follow up thought, I want you to know that before God blesses you, you have to do something. He is not going to bless you if you sit on the couch and pray. He is going to tell you to go look for work, go fill out applications. If you are praying for a spouse he is going to tell you to go to the watering hole to find this man. Don’t expect to sit on the couch and this man will knock on your door. God also wants to bless you when you take risks and be wild. Isaac told Essau to go hunting for something wild, cook it the way I like and then I will bless you.
But Rebecca, Esau’s mother cooked up a scheme to fool Isaac because he was blind and could not see. She went into the back yard and killed something that was not wild and cooked it to make it taste like something wild and gave it to Jacob to take to his father. When Jacob told her that his brother was hairy and he had smooth skin. His mother glued animal skin to his arms so he would feel like his brother.
Which is the lesson for today. Sometimes your feelings lie, so don’t always trust your feelings. Do a deep dive into the situation. Gather all the facts.
Your feelings will convince you they are coming back even though they have clearly moved on.
Ignore your feelings and trust your spirit
Your spirit is stronger than your flesh
Be honest with yourself
Why are you still with that man? It is because of how he makes you feel.
You can’t be with somebody just because of how they make you feel
Jacob felt like his brother, but he didn’t sound like your brother.
When he spoke his father noticed the difference. He said you feel like Jacob but you don’t sound like him.
Don’t get caught up in how that man makes you feel, listen to what he says and how he says it. Because out of the mouth the heart speaks.
Listen to what people are saying: Don’t just trust your feelings
Is he talking about the future or is he talking about himself. You have to watch for the disconnect between the feelings and the voice.
Isaacs realized that the feelings did not match the voice.
Then he became suspicious and asked. How did you get it so quickly? That is how did you go hunting for something wild and cooked it so quickly.
Jacob lied and said I got it this quickly because of God. God did it. If you do something wild, then that could be your true answer. God did it for me. They told me it was going to take 10 years before I could be a supervisor, but God did it in 3 years.
They ask me, how did your podcast become #1 in the personal development space? How did you get it so quickly with no celebrity guests on your show? How did you get it so quickly as an independent podcaster without a team.
My answer I got so quickly because of God and my mother.
My mother wasn’t the perfect mother, but she taught me how to trust God. She showed me how to work hard and to never give up.
I got it so quickly because I was born to do this. I was anointed by God for this job and the devil knows not to mess with me.
In your daily life, your feelings, thoughts, and attitudes are you order form. The currency you pay for your order to the universe is your belief. You have to establish the feelings the condition you want is already present.
Feelings can be deceiving
Jacob got his blessing by pretending to feel like his brother, but he had to run for his life after that because his brother wanted to kill him.
Isaac could not give Essau his blessing as the first born son because he had already given it to Jacob and he could not take it back. Similarly, when you give yourself to someone because of how they made you feel and then you find out that they tricked you, you can’t take back what you give them already. That is why, never trust your feelings alone, because your feeling can lie to you.
One way to find your, purpose, is to notice what makes you, weep, or angry. Because that is your, heart, responding to what’s on the outside that is linked to something on your inside. For example, do you, weep, when you hear a child has been abused or a dog left outside in the heat without any water? Then maybe God wanted you to do something about this and that is why he pre-wired you to care.
We see an example of this in the, bible story, of, Nehemiah. Nehemiah, asked his brother a simple question. “How are the, Jews, finding being back home after being in captivity”
Nehemiah, brother replied “Not good. They are in trouble and disgrace because the, walls of Jerusalem, have been torn down and the gates destroyed by fire.”
When, Nehemiah, heard this, he wept for days until he felt compelled to do something about it. At the time he was not a rich man, a man of influence, or had any other qualifications to rebuild a wall; he was the Kings cup bearer. But that did not stop him from asking God to make the King favorable to his request to rebuild the, walls of Jerusalem.
Nehemiah, had this immense calling to do something, it made him sad because he really didn’t think he could actually do anything about it. Remember he was not rich; he did not have any influence or so he thought. While serving the king wine one day, the King noticed he was sad and asked him why.
Nehemiah, replied “I am sad because the city where my ancestors are buried is in ruins.” The king asked “How can I help you?” What a strange response from a King. This is because, Nehemiah, had already petitioned God to go before him and soften the, heart, of the king.
So, Nehemiah, responded “Send me to Judah to rebuild the city where my ancestors are buried.”
The King responded “How long will you be gone?”
Again no pushback, the King did not even ask, Nehemiah, how he plans on accomplishing this task. He just said just let me know how long you will be gone!
How many of you felt angry or sad at things happening around you, but felt you could do nothing about it because you are a nobody without money or influence? I have heard lots of present-day, Nehemiah, stories of men and women tackling huge issues and building a movement. The first one that comes to mind is, Stacey Abrams, in, Georgia.
Stacey did not win her groundbreaking 2018 campaign for governor, but she did not quit. She got right back to work because she understood that she didn’t need the title of governor to make a difference in the lives of Georgians.
But let’s unpack our Nehemiah story. The truly amazing thing about this story is that he completed the wall in 52 days. He, organized, what the enemy called poor feeble, Jews, to work together. Everybody did a little bit. I think today we call this, grassroots organizing, or, boots on the ground, and he did it without technology. No telephones, no internet!
Why was he so successful, because it was his, purpose. It was his, soul’s purpose, and that is why the, organizing, forces in the universe came together to make it happen. How did, Nehemiah, find his, purpose? He wept for days when he heard that his people were living in shame and his, heart, told him he should do something about it.
In a similar way, your, purpose, has a way of finding you. It could jump off the page of a book you are reading, you could hear a term and like, Lifecoach, and know that is what you are supposed to do. Are you trying to find your, purpose in life? Reflect on what elicits emotion from you. Listen to your, heart. It will direct you to your, purpose.
Nehemiah, built a wall, what can you build? Can you build a community center for the youths in your community, so they can get off the streets? Can you build a school in your village, so the kids can get an education? Can you build wells in third world countries, so that poor people can drink clean water?
Conclusion
Whatever is causing you pain, you can do something about it. You are, limitless, you only need the, desire; the, organizing, power of the universe will do the rest.
This is 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I hope that you are on, purpose, and if not, you must learn to listen to your, heart, to find your, soul’s purpose. Join my Facebook group Lifecoach to be inspired throughout the week.
Have faith that, something greater, is coming and even though you can’t see the entire staircase just keep putting one foot in front of the next and you will eventually get to the top and finally your, something greater, will be here.
The Lord said I give you the, promised land, a land filled with, milk and honey, but before you enter this, promised land, I will make you wander in the, wilderness, for 40 years.
Maybe you are in the, wilderness, at the moment, don’t despair hold onto the promise that you will walk in the, promised land, because, something greater, is coming. Or maybe you only have one half of the promise, you only have the, honey. Life is sweet. Have you ever heard the phrase, barefoot and pregnant? It means you are pregnant with hope. It means you are happy but broke. Your happiness is the, honey.
God promises if you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things.
You can be happy that you have love in your life. That’s the, honey, but you want the, milk. The, milk, represents what you need to grow stronger. It’s how you rule over many things. You don’t want to be, barefoot and pregnant, you want more. You want to be both wealthy and pregnant. You want, milk and honey. All you have to do is Ask, Seek and believe that, something greater, is coming.
Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm
The Chinese Bamboo Tree
Your, something greater, will come at the right time. Don’t think because you don’t see any evidence that God is not working on your, something greater.
Think of the, Chinese bamboo tree. A, Chinese bamboo tree, takes five years to grow. It has to be watered and fertilized in the ground where it has been planted every day. It doesn’t break through the ground for five years. After five years, once it breaks through the ground, it will grow 90 feet tall in five weeks!
You will be blindsided by your, something greater. Your rapture will come suddenly. One day you will be walking along the street and you will get a phone call. You got the promotion or you got approved for a business loan to start your own company.
RadioPublic Transform your mind
My something greater is here
A year ago I was looking and the top 200 list of podcasts and visualizing about seeing the Transform Your Mind Podcast on the list. Never thought about it again then out of the blue I get an email that my podcast has made the top 200 list actually #36! My, something greater, is here!
Whatever you are dreaming and praying about, your, something greater, is coming. Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.
Don’t get frustrated because it is taking longer than you think your, something greater, is coming and it will show up at the right time.
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
How I got my something greater in Love
About 15 years ago I was just ending a bad relationship, I had been praying to God for years to send me the right man, but I kept hooking up with the wrong men so my relationships did not last. I walked into a train one day going home from work and standing at the door doing a ticket check was my, something greater.
We both knew immediately, because who you seek is seeking you. He was looking for a wife and I was looking for, something greater. Eleven months later we were married. We are coming up to our 16th anniversary. But when I left my house that morning and chose what I was going to wear, I did not know that God was directing my steps, because he knew that by the end of the day my life would change.
How many of you know that the window to the heart is through the eyes. The first attraction is sight! So what I was wearing attracted my husband’s attention!
That was my husbands first day on that schedule that is why I hadn’t seen him before. He had just changed shifts. He did not know that God was directing his steps also. He asked God to send him someone nice, a quality woman and he did.
There are no coincidences in life every moment is preordained.
Have faith that, something greater, is coming and even though you can’t see the entire staircase just keep putting one foot in front of the next and you will eventually get to the top and finally your, something greater, will be here.
You can win without a, team. Whenever you get out of your comfort zone and go against the masses you will first be ostracized, but that is where personal growth occurs.
Welcome to, 5 mins with coach Myrna. Today I want to coach on the topic “You Don’t need a, team, to win.” I am sure you have heard the name, Colin Kaepernick. He is an NFL quarterback turned, activist. He is bi-racial born to a Black father and White mother. His mother gave him up for adoption at birth and he was adopted by White parents.
All his life, Colin Kaepernick, had been discriminated against because he was black. People would see him with his white patents and ask them if he was bothering them. He was called names like Thug, because he braided his hair. He was discriminated in the NFL because he was black and there are only a handful of Black quarterbacks.
Because of this history, he was tired of Black men being brutalized by white officers and decided to take a stand. His motto ,
“Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.”
Kaepernick, decided to do something about it. He took a knee to the National Anthem to protest police brutality and racial inequality in the United States while his teammates stood in reverence.
Everyone was in an uproar, President Trump called for him to be fired. When he became a free agent, he was blackballed and no team offered him a job. But he became an inspiration to other Black men in the NFL and they started taking a knee to the National Anthem.
Kaepernick the Activist
Today, Kaepernick, has been rewarded the largest contract to date with Nike. He was given the highest honor from Harvard University the W. E. B. Du Bois Medal and he got a chance to tell his story in a Netflix documentary “Black & White” about, Institutional racism.
Institutional racism, is “The collective failure of an organization to provide an appropriate and professional service to people because of their color, culture, or ethnic origin. It can be seen or detected in processes, attitudes and behavior that amount to discrimination through prejudice, ignorance, thoughtlessness, and racist stereotyping which disadvantage minority ethnic people.”
Kaepernick’s victory proves that, You don’t need a, team, to win.
Winning without a team or support
Whenever you get out of your comfort zone and go against the masses you will first be ostracized, but that is where personal growth occurs.
You can’t grow sitting in your comfort zone
Stand up for yourself and take a stand against wrongdoing at work, in your home or on your community. You don’t need a, team, to win you just need God to be on your side.
What I love about the Old Testament is that nobody did anything without consulting God. David, Saul, Samuel, Elijah they all consulted God before they went into battle. We as a collective have lost that communication with God, but if you are doing good then you know God is on your side and he is the only team member you need to win.
Winning requires Determinization
Finally, winning without a, team, requires, determination. Teams, need to have the, determination, the grit, and the heart to rise to the occasion and so do you. Nothing is ever going to be easy, the road to holding a trophy or being awarded a top prize is often filled with obstacles that will test every aspect of your character.
It doesn’t matter what the score is or what the final records will read, if you are in the game, you need to give everything you have. It doesn’t matter if you are blackballed like, Colin Kaepernick, you still need to stand up for what you believe is right. This is the mentality that will lead to, winning without a team. Champions recognize that losing and failure are both simply tools that they will use to build success.
Conclusion
Remember ” Winners never quit and quitters never win” Vince Lombardi
Thanks for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna. Tune in Next week for another episode of 5 mins with Coach Myrna.
Nothing is impossible, If you believe. How to turn life’s challenges into opportunities of self-discovery and personal success.
Todays’ guest on the Mindset Transformation Radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, is Dr. Sheila D. Williams. Dr Williams is the author of “My Mother’s Keeper”
Nothing is impossible, always finish the race, don’t be a quitter.
Come all the way through!
Don’t stop in the middle, don’t turn back!
Just finish the race.
Look at life like a long distance swim trip.
When you start out you have no idea what you are going to meet up with.
You can’t predict the weather, the waves, or any other hazards and obstacles on your journey.
You have to make up in your mind, that you will Come all the way through, nothing is impossible. That if you are able, you will finish the race.
If you get to the middle of the ocean and you run into a thunder storm for instance, you just can’t stop.
Going back is just as perilous as going forward. You have to, believe in yourself. You must , believe.
That is exactly how life is, you can’t predict the storms in life, you can’t predict the challenges that you are going come up against.
You know that they will come. You have to decide up front to, believe in yourself.
You have to know for sure that, Nothing is Impossible, if you, believe.
God planted that goal or dream in you for a reason. You have something to give to mankind.
If you, believe, you will achieve!
You just have to keep moving forward, going back is death to your dreams, it should not be an option!
Show notes Nothing is Impossible
Today’s show discusses, mental illness, and how Dr. Williams cared for her mother as she suffered through clinical, depression.
Her purpose for writing this book is to shed light on this taboo topic and offer healing to her readers who may be going through something similar.
She decide to be very transparent on her mothers, clinical depression, and how she cared for her mother from the young age of 10.
Nothing is impossible, if you, believe. Listen to hear how Dr Sheila overcame her childhood story and succeed as a Mental Health Therapist/Counselor, a behavior Analyst, Published Author, Life Coach and Educational Director. She tells how she worked sometimes 4 jobs while caring for her terminally ill mother and still was able to earn her PH.D.
I know you’ve you have a really you know powerful story told in your first book My mother’s Keeper. What is the book about and what inspired you to write it.
Dr Sheila – My book is about my mother. It is a very candid look into my life and me caring for my mother. It took me about 40-plus years to be able to tell this story. I also tell my mother’s story; it was a family secret. No one wanted to talk about my mother, mental illness and the fact that had, clinical depression.
I felt for a very ashamed for a very long time in my life about my mother’s, mental illness, and depression so at the point when I decided to go ahead and be very candid and very transparent about my life it was for the purpose of healing. Not only for myself but for anyone else who have dealt with the stigma of, mental illness.
The stigma of mental illness and clinical depression
I decided to write specifically about my mother and her, clinical depression, as a small child who had to care for her mom instead of the other way around.
People see the doctorate degree or the position that you hold with the company you work for, or you know they see your success in other things, but they don’t realize behind the scenes, you had to tell yourself, nothing is impossible, to just get through the day.
You hear the phrase don’t judge a book by its cover. You see someone with the professional title and you see these accolades and all of the things that they’ve accomplished; but you have no idea of the struggle or the obstacles in which they’ve had to overcome to get to where they are.
So I wrote the book for numerous reasons:
To show that, nothing is impossible, if you, believe in yourself.
To show the effects on the family from, mental illness, and depression.
You can still accomplish whatever goal that you have in life regardless of your circumstances.
What was your motivation and how did you find the strength to push through? Did you have a vision?
Dr Sheila – from a very young child maybe four or five six years old, I did not know that my mother had, clinical depression, I just knew she was a little bit different from other kids’ moms. My mother would not get out of bed for days on end. She would not open the blinds, just lay in bed in a dark room all day.
Nothing is impossible, This means that anything is possible. Dr Sheila did not have the nurture from her mom and dad. When she became grown, she decided she wanted to become a doctor. She worked 5 jobs to put herself through school because she did not want student loans. Believe in the, impossible. However, just because something is possible does not mean that it is easy, or that it should be done at all. If you use this statement, you are probably referring to something which is very difficult to accomplish or labeled, impossible.
One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?
Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna
Transform your Mind Stitcher
Being stuck, is a place of no personal power
https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ
What it feels like to be stuck
A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was, stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.
She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck, she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister’s home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister’s home, because she didn’t have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!
How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.
How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?
How do you find the strength to want something better?
How did I coach this situation?
This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.
You see you can’t see the frame when you are the picture!
I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister’s lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn’t cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.
You can’t plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.
I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.
1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck
Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.
Faith, that even though you can’t see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.
The message of, faith, in this story is that you can’t think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship, being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.
Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.
My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don’t let him convince you that you are, stuck.
2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.
The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don’t feel like doing until you feel like doing it!
Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.
You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don’t let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don’t stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can’t take big steps Automatic negative thoughts don’t take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.
Similarly, being stuck, on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.
It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.
It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.
3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck
What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.
One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can’t coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.
4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can’t or won’t move right now.
I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!
So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn’t know any better.
If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn’t know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.
This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.
Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.
5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself
Come back to the problem later
Write out options and solutions
Write out the worrying situation
Write what you can do about it
Write what you cannot control about it.
6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.
The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.
Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.
Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.
Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.
Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.
Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.
As Neapolitan Hill said
As a man thinking so is he.
Shakespeare puts it another way
“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”
7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself
You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances
Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.
You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.
What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?
I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.
We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.
Use your negative energy to get unstuck
Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can’t know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!
She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.
She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!
To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
What does it take to be happy? We live in a culture where, happiness, is largely based on external forces – like what we get and what we achieve. And when our life conditions don’t match our expectations, we experience pain and fear, we suffer. But imagine what it would feel like to create a constant sense of inner peace and freedom, and live each day in a beautiful state of, happiness.
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What’s preventing you from, happiness, and living a life of peace and joy?
Do you believe that others make you happy or are responsible for your, happiness? I used to think so. Until I realized that the definition of, happiness, is true. Happiness, is moving in the direction of your goals and dreams. So because my, happiness, comes from my thoughts and actions, I take away the responsibility of my spouse, friends, co-workers being responsible for my, happiness.
I encourage you to Discover what’s holding you back from being happy. Tap into finding inner peace through meditation and mindfulness that you can use to start living in the, present moment. Happiness, is only found in the present moment. Not in the future or the past. This is the time to sit with your feelings of, unhappiness, pain and regret and maybe find the lesson in them.
Once you sit with pain and, unhappiness, and not try to mask it with drugs, food or any of the things you do to not feel your pain, you can step into the unknown, and allow life to unfold in the beautiful way it is meant to.
One of the ways I live in the, present moment, is I become aware of the little things that is taking away my, happiness. The small irritations like my husband not answering the phone when I call or my kids leaving the house and saying where they are going.
Learn, how to be happy in life, in the, present moment. No one is responsible for your, happiness. If you live in the present moment then the hurts from the past can’t bother you. I remember when Jennifer Gardner was being interviewed about the betrayal of Ben Aflac. He had cheated on her and they were separated and there was a big scandal. Jennifer tried to stay in the, present moment, and be thankful for her 4 kids. She also said that Ben was not responsible for her, happiness. She alone is responsible for her, happiness.
Great lesson because when we give our power away, people will always trample on us. Life gives sand life takes away. The trick to, happiness, is not to be attached to the outcome.
How to be happy in life, by relaxing and releasing
When I feel the, unhappiness, or irritation coming on me, I practice R&R relax and release. When you feel that unwanted frustration you relax breathe deeply and release blow it out. Breathe deeply and blow it out through your mouth.
I learnt this in therapy. When a situation makes you, unhappy, and you don’t attend to the hurt or pain. We stuff it down. We are not aware of what we are doing but we are hard wired to move away from pain and move towards pleasure, so when we feel pain or, unhappiness, we run from it.
So we self medicate with drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or whatever is around. In that way, we bury the pain. Whenever something is in the vicinity of this pain, we feel this tension in our gut because that is where we stored this pain. We begin to be, unhappy and we are not even sure why so we again stuff it down with drugs, alcohol, food and sex. We never want to feel.
To stop this cycle. Whenever you feel this feeling. Don’t try to stuff down instead relax into it. Feel the pain, sit with it. Then breathe. Breathe to relax into it and then breathe it out. Try it next time some external situation makes you, unhappy.
In the, pursuit of happiness, material things such as money, a big house, fame, or fancy cars do not make us happy. Instead we need to first love and accept ourselves to be happy. Money or fame magnifies our, unhappiness, because now you are not sure who your friends are and you become obsessed about keeping this wealth.
How to be happy in life, with less is learning to find happiness in relationships, with family, with health, with being alive.
Daily habits to find, happiness
Smile. You tend to smile when you’re happy. …
Exercise. Exercise isn’t just for your body, it is for the mind. It releases endorphins for, happiness.
Get plenty of sleep, serotonin, the feel good hormone is released during sleep. That is why we are bitchy and, unhappy, with lack of sleep.
Eat with the, pursuit of happiness, in mind. …
Be grateful. Gratitude is the forerunner to, happiness. You can’t be, unhappy, if you are feeling, gratitude
Give a compliment – giving a compliment makes other happy and that is turn makes you happy. Happiness, is serving others.
Breathe deeply. – breathing deeply releases tension in our muscles and relaxes the body.
Acknowledge the unhappy moments – don’t try to stuff them down or ignore them. They are already here. Acknowledge them and let them know you see them and that this too shall pass. You will be able to look back at these moments and laugh one day.
