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How to Build your Self-Confidence Muscle

So What is, self- confidence? How do we define, self- confidence, and what does it look like?

Self-confidence, comes from building your confidence muscle. It increases with positive input from your parents, peers, loved ones and from your personal victories.

Today’s episode is supported by Columbus Financial.  Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

In Today’s #podcast  Arifah and I are talking on the topic of How to build, Self-confidence, we want to  shed some light on one of the top struggles of , African American women,  self-confidence,

In the co-host chair today is registered, social worker and mental health counselor, Ms Arifah Yusuf.

What is Self-Confidence?

The most important thing to remember about, self- confidence, is that we were born with it. It is our natural state.

How many of you remember your play days as kids? As a child I was always the doctor or teacher.

Boys have no fear. They would climb to the tallest point in their home, put on a cape and jump! They were Superman!

So I would define, self- confidence, as certainty. Confident and certain that you are able to handle your job, your family, social events and personal relationships.

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How do you build, self-confidence?

Self-confidence, comes from building your confidence muscle. It increases with positive input from your parents, peers, loved ones and from your personal victories.

But a large percentage of, African American women,  and men suffer from a lack of, self-confidence, because of negative input from parents, peers, and loved ones.

Usually centered on their intellect, the color of their skin, their hair, their lips, their butt, the section of town they live, their lack of designer clothing, and the list goes on.

It is important to note that lack of, self-confidence, always comes from negative comments that you believe. If you don’t let these negative comments in, they will never take root and grow.

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Here is a story showcasing how a lack of, self-confidence,  usually starts.

A surgeon opened his office one day and found a tall black man in the waiting room. He was six feet four inches tall and towered over the surgeon. He complained about his lip. You see his underlip protruded out from his top lip. His girlfriend told him she was ashamed to be seen in public with him because of his ugly lip; so he came to the surgeon to get it fixed.

The surgeon told him there was nothing wrong with his lip, it was just a minor protrusion. The black man insisted on getting it fixed; so the surgeon gave him an outrageous price of $1200 hoping he would go away.

He did, he said that he didn’t have that kind of money. But lo and behold, he came back the next day with a little black bag in his hand. He dumped the contents on the table. Bills poured out, his life savings; $1200 worth!

The doctor was shocked. He didn’t want to deprive the man of his life savings so he made him an offer. He agreed to do the surgery for a smaller fee on the condition that he tell his lady love that he paid $1200 for the surgery.

The operation was simple enough and one week later all the bandages came off and the man had a smaller lip he was proud of. All the surgery was done inside the lip so he had no visible scars except for a small scar inside the lip. The man was happy, he strode from the doctor’s office full of, self-confidence, A commanding figure. Tall, black and proud.

However a few weeks later he was back in the surgeon’s  office. His body seemed to have shrunk, his hands lost their strength, his voice squeaked. The doctor asked him what happened to him.

He said “the African Bug, sir. It got me and it’s killing me”

He told the doctor after he removed the bandages he went to see his lady love. She loved his lip and asked him how much he paid for the surgery.  When he told her $1200, she became enraged and cursed him saying she could have used that $1200 and accused him of hiding the money from her. She cursed him and told him he would die.

Deeply troubled and hurt, the man laid in his bed for 4 days worrying  about this curse that was going to kill him. Then running his tongue around, he discovered the horrible thing inside his mouth. He went to see a medical doctor who checked his mouth and confirmed that “the slimy African bug was stuck inside his mouth and it was indeed killing him.

The surgeon looked at this diminished and fearful man and asked him “Is it really in your mouth?”

“Yes sir,” the man said “the doctor tried to help get rid of it with liquids, pastes and potions – but nothing worked. The curse is too strong”. It’s burned inside my lip.

“Your lip?”

“Yes sir” the man said

“You didn’t say lip before”

The doctor ran his finger at the back of the man’s lip and told the disbelieving man that “the bug” was no more than scar tissue from his surgery.

The disbelieving man looked up in wonder and asked “then there is no African bug?”

The man stood up. Instantly he seemed to have regained his full height and strength. A rich smile spread over his face and his voice boomed out again. His, self-confidence, had returned.

The moral of this story is that you can’t get your, self-confidence, from other people. You have to take inventory of your strengths and weaknesses and deal with them on your own terms.

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Let’s bring Arifah into this, self-confidence, conversation. Arifah is a, registered social worker, specializing in, mental health issues. She is the founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services including training, workshops with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors.

Arifah I am sure that a large population of your clients suffer from a lack of, self-confidence, Why do you think that is?

I think there are many reasons young people lack, self-confidence, I often work with young people who experienced unhappy childhoods or maybe their parents neglected them in some way or they weren’t involved much in their lives.

Also I’d say lack of, self -confidence, sometimes comes from negative input from teachers or authority figures in their lives. Sometimes teachers have a way of saying things that discourage young people.  Making them feel inadequate made and like they couldn’t be successful.  That kind of influenced how they feel about themselves and their, self-confidence, I’d also say young people who have experienced trauma or bullying from their peers can obviously influence their, self-confidence,

I believe that when young people don’t value themselves and sometimes that comes from people not validating them, they often lack, self-confidence,

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How to Build Your Self-Confidence through Courageous acts

As a, life coach, I believe that Courage is a byproduct of, self confidence,

It takes courage to walk up on stage and speak to an audience large or small.

It takes courage to call that guy you like and ask him out.

It takes courage to go into that interview even though you have no idea what you are going to say.

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So how do you make yourself, Face the Fear, but do it anyway?

Tell yourself that it is not going to kill you.

My grandmother used to say “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

And that’s exactly what, Feeling the fear but doing it anyway does for you. It makes you stronger, it builds your, self-confidence, muscle because even if you bombed you got practice and practice also makes perfect!

Here are my steps to build your, self-confidence, muscle on public speaking or doing a presentation at work.

  1. You can start by writing out your speech word for word and just read it
  2. Then as you get more, self- confidence, and your brain recorded that you did not die, you weren’t booed off the stage, nobody laughed at you.
  3. So the next step is to write out the headlines and speak from the heart on your headlines
  4. Sooner or later you will have, self- confidence, muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Tony Robbins and command the attention of the audience.

Arifah What are your steps to building the, self-confidence, muscle?

I find that it  wasn’t only their, self-confidence muscle,  that needed to be built up, it was their self-worth,  it was a whole bunch of things there was all built into the one thing.  If we were to put a label on it,  it would be that we’re not enough.

You would not believe how many people feel that they are not enough;  even the most successful

people like, Michelle Obama, in her book “Becoming Michelle Obama” felt that she wasn’t good enough.  Why did she feel that way?  Because she was black and from the south side of Chicago!

As, African American women,  we have got a lot of things that we have to deal with, we just have to believe that we are all born with purpose and with the love of God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GetiPNOx9dU

I have seven steps that I use to help my clients gain, self-confidence:

  1. Self-reflection – every time I meet with them, I allow them to self-reflect on their day self-reflect on things that were happening in their lives with gratitude.
  2. Acknowledgement and self-acceptance – what makes them unique because everybody is unique.
  3. Positive reinforcement – praising their effort and not obsessing over mistakes.
  4. Mastering a skill – I had the girls work on a project. They created their own YouTube video. Everyone mastered a skill in the production of the video.
  5. Communication skills – I do a lot of exercises around different forms of communication. Assertiveness,  passive, passive aggressive etc.
  6. Positive self-talk and affirmations – paying attention to their internal dialogue
  7. Pay it forward – giving back helps build, self-confidence,

To listen to the full Podcast audio, download on your favorite podcast player.

Download on the following podcast players and please remember to subscribe, rate and review if you found this content helpful.

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Additional Resources:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/joyburnford/2019/01/08/confidence-one-more-muscle-to-exercise-this-year/

 

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Universal Law of the Harvest: Are you Eating Your Seed?

 The, Law of the Harvest,  is one of the, Universal Laws. We are all familiar with the, universal laws, like the, Laws of Gravity. We know that if we jump off a building, we will fall to the ground. We know that if an apple rolls off a table it will fall to the ground. Only in space we see things floating around. I was watching a movie recently where someone vomited in space and the vomit well ….you get the picture. It did not fall to the ground! The, Universal Laws, of the Harvest can literally be referred to as the Power of the seed. You can’t harvest without first planting a seed.   See an excerpt below on planting and harvesting Lettuce.

Universal Laws of the Harvest is the reaping and sowing Principle

The, Universal Law, of the Harvest, can be demonstrated with planting lettuce. Lettuce can be started from seed or from plants. Some gardeners like to direct seed their lettuce; but many prefer to start transplants and then move them into the garden after they get off to a good start. Lettuce seed germinates best in moderate to cool temperatures with soil temperatures of 75 degrees being about ideal. The seeds are small and flat so some seed companies now offer palatalized seed for easier more accurate seeding and germination.

Lettuce seed won’t germinate well if buried too deep, so you must cover them with about 1/4 inch of light sand or screened compost. Press them lightly on the surface to firm soil or growing media against the seed and then mist them well to thoroughly moisten. One mistake many gardeners make when direct seeding lettuce out in the garden is to not prepare a fine textured, smooth seed bed. Scattered into chunky, crusty soil lettuce seed will seldom make a good stand.

Keep the seeds moist until they sprout and get off to a good start. If a seed dries out at any time during the germination process it will die. If you start seed outdoors it helps a lot to place a row cover fabric over the seed row, suspended to prevent the row cover from getting pressed into the soil surface with watering or rains. The row cover helps to keep the seeds from drying out quickly in the sun and drying wind. Remove the cover to water the seeds once or twice a day to keep them moist. Use a mister nozzle on the water hose to prevent blasting the seeds away. Gardeners often tend to plant more lettuce than they need.

Your harvest is a direct proportion to what you plant

Think about it. How many heads or plants of leaf lettuce do you eat a week? Plant enough to last a couple of weeks and a few extras to allow for some that won’t make it. Scatter the seeds one half to an inch apart. It is really easy to plant them too thick. Then when you try to thin the seeds it’s difficult not to do significant damage to the remaining plants. Plant Care Lettuce performs best if you keep it growing well with adequate soil moisture and moderate fertilization.

Water transplants in with a dilute solution of soluble fertilizer according to label instructions. Repeat this application twice weekly for a couple of weeks to ensure the new plants are off to a good start. A light application of dry fertilizer when the plants have been in about two weeks should take them on through their harvest time. Sprinkle one half cup of a 3-1-2 or 4-1-2 ratio fertilizer per 10 foot of planting row. Then lightly scratch it into the surface and water it in well. Lettuce is shallow rooted so avoid deep cultivation. Stay ahead of weeds so you don’t disturb the lettuce plants later when removing large competing weeds.

Light, shallow cultivation is best. You can mulch the best when plants are well on their way. This will also help prevent soil from splashing onto the leaves during rain or irrigation. Problems Lettuce used to be plagued by several diseases that could wipe out plantings. Most modern varieties have some good resistance built in, but at times during wet periods some fungal rots and mildews may show up. I suggest that should such a problem arise just pull out affected plants and keep the new plantings coming rather than resort to sprays, especially since by the time some rot shows up it is too late to do that plant much good with a spray. Lettuce is fairly cold hardy and will tolerate light frosts with little to no damage.

Young seedlings are more prone to freeze damage. Harvest Head types are best harvested after they develop a firm head. Bibb lettuce is ready to harvest when the plants have reached about their full size and the leaves are just starting to cup inward slightly as if to form a loose head. Leaf lettuce can be harvested at any time from when you are thinning young plants on. But is it best to either harvest older leaves, leaving the plants to grow for later harvests or cut entire plants out when they reach near full size for the variety. I generally make harvest decisions based on how much other lettuce is coming along for later harvest. If I have plenty on the way I’ll pull more plants when they are younger. If not then I may just harvest outer leaves to get more later on from the older plants. The, law of the harvest, is finite.  You have to plant the seed and let nature do the rest.  If you don’t plant, you cannot get a harvest.

The, Universal law of the harvest, can be applied to all areas of life.

The, Universal Law, of the harvest, most popular text reference is from the book of Galatians in the Bible which reads,

“For whatever a man sows that and that only is what he will reap.”

Most people are inclined to ask the “why” question when things happen to them. In most instances the answer is found in the, law of the harvest.   You are simply reaping the harvests of what you have previously sown. Whenever you get results you do not desire, begin to interrogate what kind of seeds you have been planting. From the lettuce illustration above; if you plant lettuce seeds, you will not reap or harvest cabbage. Thus the reference that you always reap what you sow!

The reason why some probably do not have happiness is because they don’t sow happiness. When you sow strife you reap strife. This is why it is necessary to carefully analyze what seeds you plant in your relationships, be it with your friends, family, or business associates.   The quality of that relationship is solely premised on the seeds you plant with your actions and words. If you plant mistrust, you will reap mistrust. One of the best advice I have every received on seed planting in relationships was

“treat your marriage and relationships like a bank account, you have to make more deposits than withdrawals or you become overdrawn”.

Every time you give of yourself or serve another, you are planting seeds that will grow into a harvest. I believe that even if you are planting into a relationship now that does not bear fruit, you will still harvest in another relationship or in your job or in your children! So keep planting the, law of the harvest, is truth.

Another, law of the harvest, is that you will reap according to the measure that you sow. The Law states that: “He who sows sparingly and grudgingly will also reap sparingly and grudgingly and he who sows generously will also reap generously and with blessings.”

Once you have identified the kind of harvest you desire, it is important to realize that again you determine the amount of harvest you receive with the amount of seed you plant. In the illustration above the farmer planted much more seed than was necessary for the harvest because he knew that some will die, either from decease, from thinning, or from rocky soil. If the seed you are planting is for the harvest of a promotion then you have to work harder than the rest and stand out. If the seed you are planting is to harvest a spouse, then you have to plant trust, service, love, affection, stability, and much more seeds than the other suitors.

It is like the seed put in the soil – the more one sows, the greater the harvest. ~~~~Orison Swett Marden

The, Law of the Harvest, says We Reap In Proportion to What We Sow

The promise and warning of Scripture about, sowing and reaping, is that we reap what we sow. This means that life’s choices are filled with consequences both good and bad — Reaping what we sow means we reap only what has been sown, we reap in kind as we sow, we reap in a different season than we sow, we reap more than we sow, but we also reap in proportion to what we sow.

We also can reap more than we sow. No fact is more significant and sobering than this one. When we sow good, we bountifully receive from the hand of God who is debtor to no man;

The, universal law, of the  harvest states that the, harvest, is always greater than the seed planted.

If this were not the case, no farmer would ever plant a thing; if he only got back what germinated in the ground. He would be on the losing end and spend his life in utter futility.   Reaping more than we sow is fundamental to the, Universal  Laws, of the Harvest and this is not just true for the agricultural world, it is true for nearly every aspect of life: for the physical and the spiritual, for believers and unbelievers alike.   The, Universal law,  of the harvest, works in reverse as well. When we sow evil, we will generally reap more evil than we sowed as well. This is one of the most important of the, universal laws.

Application of the 7  Universal Laws

There are, 7 Universal Laws. Some people are in the habit of expecting way too much than what they give in. A salesperson who does not do the activity of calling on customers or engaging in the sales activity; but who hopes to get lucky by customers falling in his or her lap soon finds out that the, universal Law,  of the Harvest is finite.

“You can’t reap what you don’t plant”

Only miracles supersede and defy these laws. The effort you put in determines the outcome you receive. Always!

Another, law of the harvest, is that the harvest follows planting and not vice versa.

Some people are naïve to say the least. They expect to reap first then they harvest. That is absurd. The Laws of, sowing and reaping, says you first sow then you reap. How miraculous would it be that you find a field of lettuce and no one planted any seeds or seedlings? I would bet that you would not eat that lettuce because you would be suspicious of where it came from. So expecting the rewards before you do the work is ludicrous.

  • You have to plant the seed,
  • you have to water every day,
  • you have to fertilize,
  • you have to make sure the plants get sunlight,
  • you have to protect from pests;
  • only then you can taste the sweetness of the, harvest.

You must have seed for your harvest. Are you eating your seed?

Most average and poor people are guilty of this statement, “we don’t give because we don’t have.” The reality is the opposite however; you don’t have because you don’t give. The, universal law, of the, harvest, says you have to give to get. Someone told me a great analogy once at a party.

“If your hands are closed, then not only can you not give, but you also cannot receive”

So make sure your hand is open to give and to receive. Everyone has a seed which will take them to a next level of plenty (with regard to the seed sown). The problem is most people think they should have plenty in order to plant. That is why some people need thousands to start a business while some can start from just a few dollars. I read about a lady who borrowed $3000.00 from family and friends to start her own business as a pottery consultant. I don’t remember the name of her company, but she purchased pots and pans and taught people how to cook in those pots and pans.

She had just sold her Company to Warren Buffet for 900 million! God can do a lot with very little!

The last, Law of the Harvest, I will share states that,

“There is always a time interval between planting and harvesting.”

Sowing and reaping happens in different seasons

You sow in a different season from the one you reap in. Most people cannot endure the season of waiting for the, harvest, which is why they do not plant at all. They seek instant gratification so they would rather eat the seed, rather than plant it and wait for the, harvest. They do something today and expect results tomorrow. There is nothing like that! You can’t circumvent the, Law of the Harvest! You miss or eliminate a step and you get no lettuce or fruit.

If you decide that to plant and not water, your seedlings will die. If you start watering and caring for the soil and there is no seed planted you reap nice dirt! You have to plant, water, protect and wait for the harvest. You plant your seed in the spring and, harvest, in the summer or fall. Remember that for everything you need in life, there is a seed that you can plant. Everything that you have ever wanted in your life can be planted and you will begin to enjoy the benefits of the, laws of the harvest.

If you plant nothing you reap nothing.

Start planting the seeds that give you the results you require. Remember if you eat your seed, there can be no, harvest. Everyone has something they can plant!

The, law of the harvest, can be applied to your Academics, Spiritual life, Finances, Relationships, Career, Business and anywhere else you desire to see results.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/caring-for-your-thought-seed-inception-ideas/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-care-for-your-thought-seed/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reap-where-you-plant/

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The Power and Purpose of Journalling

 

Journalling, can help women experiencing problems who are feeling stuck to form solutions by writing their down. My guest today is Margaret Elizabeth Hulse, a novelist who uses her fine art and jewelry designs to illustrate her, journalling, stories. Margaret writes stories with her body, mind, spirit that she says exist in the beauty of Texas, the Caribbean, and New Orleans.

Journalling, can be inspired to transcend from the monotony of day to day, obligatory tasks and into a life life filled with passion and purpose from the power and purpose of, journalling. She says “I write relatable, yet sensual, passionate stories that take my readers on new adventures and create custom jewelry so that the wearer has something unique to set her apart from the typical, ‘go-to’ designs. I evoke an excitement that people feel they haven’t been able to tap into for a while, whether it’s because they’ve been hurt, or have simply lost themselves as they’ve tried to make ends meet.”

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How to Start Journaling

Margaret feels that through, journalling, she learned how to manifest her dream work through writing her way out of a trauma. Her first published journal simply titled, “Sketchbook,” is an illustrated short story that serves as a preamble to her novel, Sketches from the Heart of a Texas Artist. I write and speak often about the power of healing through creativity and how the more you write about something, the more likely it is to come to fruition.

On a personal note on, how to start journalling, I have always journaled to download and to write down my goals and dreams. The power and purpose for my, journalling, for me has been manifested in my life over and over.

There are 3 ways to attract anything into your life. First you think it in your mind, then you speak it into the atmosphere, then you write it down to give it form!

Journalling, can also help you out of a bad mood.
You Can Write Your Way Out of an Emotional Funk. Here’s How.

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A, journalling, story:

James Pennebaker, a distinguished professor at the University of Texas, got married right out of college in the early ‘70s. Three years after his marriage, he and his wife started to question their relationship, and Pennebaker, confused and unsettled, sank into a depression. He ate less, drank more, and started smoking. Embarrassed by what he saw as emotional weakness, he became more and more isolated.

One morning about a month into this decline, Pennebaker climbed out of bed and sat down at a typewriter. He stared at the machine for a moment, then started writing freely and frankly about his marriage, his parents, his sexuality, his career, and even death.

As he wrote, and continued to write in the days that followed, something fascinating happened. His depression lifted and he felt liberated. He began to reconnect with his deep love for his wife. But the writing had an even farther-reaching impact. For the first time, he started to see the purpose and possibilities in his life.

Pennebaker’s own experience with, journalling, helped him get through this rocky period sparked 40 years of research about the links between writing and emotional processing. Over and over again Pennebaker did studies in which he divided people into two groups and asked some to, journal,  about emotionally significant experiences, and the others to write about common things: their shoes, or maybe the cars passing on the street. Both groups wrote for the same span—about 20-minutes a day, three days in a row.

In each study, Pennebaker found that the people who wrote about emotionally charged episodes experienced marked improvement in their physical and mental well-being. They were happier, less depressed and less anxious. In the months after the, journalling,  sessions, they had lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and fewer visits to the doctor. They also reported better relationships, improved memory, and more success at work.

How to become a Life coach

Is your purpose in life to help others achieve fulfillment in theirs?

Then maybe becoming a Life Coach is the career for you.

Email me at info@myhelps.us for your FREE copy of my eBook “How to become a Life coach”

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

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7 Ways to Get Unstuck and Take Back Your Power

Mother wound healing

One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?

Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Being stuck, is a place of no personal power

https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ

What it feels like to be stuck

A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was,  stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.

She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck,  she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister’s home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister’s home, because she didn’t have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!

How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is  when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.

How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?

How do you find the strength to want something better?

How did I coach this situation?

This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.

You see you can’t see the frame when you are the picture!

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Coaching to Get Unstuck

I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister’s lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn’t cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.

You can’t plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.

I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.

1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck 

Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.

Faith, that even though you can’t see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.

The message of, faith, in this story is that you can’t think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship,  being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.

Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.

My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don’t let him convince you that you are, stuck.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.

The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don’t feel like doing until you feel like doing it!

Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.

You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don’t let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don’t stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can’t take big steps
Automatic negative thoughts don’t take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.

Similarly, being stuck,  on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.

It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.

It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.

3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck

What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.

One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can’t coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.

4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can’t or won’t move right now.

I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!

So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn’t know any better.

If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn’t know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.

This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.

Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.

5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself

  • Come back to the problem later
  • Write out options and solutions
  • Write out the worrying situation
  • Write what you can do about it
  • Write what you cannot control about it.

6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.

The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.

Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.

Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.

Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.

Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.

Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.

As Neapolitan Hill said

As a man thinking so is he.

Shakespeare puts it another way

“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself

You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances

Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.

You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.

What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?

I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.

We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.

Use your negative energy to get unstuck

Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can’t know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!

She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.

She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!

To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Adobe Photoshop PDF

Out of the Snares

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to be Happy with Less

 

 

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How to be Confident after a Divorce

Building true,  confidence, after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. How to be confident, after a, divorce, is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident, person overnight. But if you’re in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips on, how to be confident, after losing your man.

This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your, confidence, back after a, divorce, of death of a spouse.”

 

10 Tips on How to Build Confidence:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a, self-confidence,  killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you’re only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what’s important–your own strengths and goals.

2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.

3. Live in a positive reality.
Don’t say anything about yourself that you don’t want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won’t make you a more, confident, person, but, confident, people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you’re capable of and what you’ve already accomplished.

4. Don’t mask it.
Self-confidence, isn’t the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It’s all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.

5. Change what you can.
Confident, people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.

6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you’re probably on the right track! Don’t procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.

7. Practice Self Love

8. Take action to get back on the horse. Don’t isolate yourself 

9. Have a Level 5 Friend to share your darkest thoughts

10. Complete yourself and not wait for someone to complete you

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The nature of confidence

You should not allow your, confidence, to be dictated by someone else’s feelings in any facet of your daily life. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs, and you should never allow someone else to sink yours like an anchor, just because you have been through the, divorce, experience.

Your behavior should not be driven by the emotions of anyone, especially your ex-spouse.  They may attempt to reenter the picture for whatever reason, and while that reason may be valid and may need to be dealt with, there is no reason you should allow their thoughts and their feelings to bring you down or shatter any progress you have made in rebuilding your confidence.

You cannot and should not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way. If you sense that the conversation is headed in a direction that you are not comfortable with, it is imperative that you exercise some, self-love, and remove yourself from any narrative that would damage your post-divorce recovery process.

You need to be able to believe in your ability to rebuild your life and move forward. After a, divorce, you may begin to question your ability to make life decisions, but do not let one setback color your perspective and prevent you from making these types of calls.

Whether it is through your job, your friends, your family, or a new relationship, you can make different aspects of your new life matter and move past the negativity of a dysfunctional and unhappy marriage. Your productivity in starting over and taking each step to a new future is something you should be proud of and should give you the, confidence, boost you need to take additional steps.

If you like this content, please subscribe to my iTunes podcast and leave a review. Thank you
Transform your Mind iTunes podcast

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-raise-your-self-esteem-by-erasing-self-doubt/

 

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How to Find Hardcore Happiness and True Success

How to become an open communicator

Research shows that, hardcore happiness, leads to a wide range of benefits for our performance, health, relationships and more. So, rather than success being the key to, hardcore happiness, research shows that, happiness, could in fact be the key to success. Indeed, hardcore happiness, also brings substantial benefits for society as a whole. For example, a review of more than 160 studies found “clear and compelling evidence” that happier people have better overall health and live longer than their less happy peers.

Welcome to the Mindset Transformation blog and podcast with Coach Myrna Young. Today my guest is Swami Brahmananda Saraswati. Swami G as he is affectionately called, has a mission to help over one million people find, Hardcore Happiness, and true success. He has designed a master class on How to find hardcore happiness and true success.

  • At the end of the, hardcore happiness,  training you will have learned:
    How to find your purpose,
  • How to live your life to the fullest and achieve happiness here and now,
  • without having to wait/delay or postpone feeling vibrantly alive every day!

In keeping with the theme of my podcast and blog, I always like to leave you with a tip of the week from Coach Myrna.

Finding Hardcore Happiness from Fulfillment

This week my tip of the week comes from the book by Deepak Chopra, The 7 Levels of Fulfillment.

Happiness comes from fulfillment, Deepak Chopra’s book the 7 Levels of Fulfillment, references 7 ways to find happiness from fulfillment.

In order for us to find fulfillment we must be Open and Activate or awaken our inner sources of calm, love, and truth,
Spiritual awakening is natural. The process is like waking up in the morning and opening your eyes to the light.
There are, seven levels of Fulfillment, When you are fully connected to the light of being which is the light of the self.
There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond the highest heavens,
This is the light that shines within you.

1: The First level of fulfillment is pure potentiality
2: The 2nd level is Fulfillment from Giving
3: The 3rd level is Fulfillment from Sowing and Reaping
4: The 4th level is Fulfillment from Love
5: The 5th level is Fulfillment from The Desires of your Heart
6: The 6th level is Fulfillment from Detachment
7: the 7th level Fulfillment from being on purpose

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Introduction to Using Meditation to find Happiness

• Swami Brahmananda Saraswati was raised in India and at age 4 began studying with ascended masters in an ashram in the Himalayas. By age 12 he was teaching, yoga, and, meditation,  at the ashram’s yoga school. In 2009 Swami left India to study pre-medicine at a university in Iowa: Maharishi University of Management. He has taught 1000s of people yoga, meditation, and Ayurveda. Now he wants to bring happiness to an even larger audience. Swami is warm and gentle teacher full of light and enthusiasm.

He was taught powerful practices that have been independently validated by science to be beneficial to human health including stress reduction, enhanced well-being, creativity and productivity. His compassionate and knowledgeable approach to teaching allows full spectrum learning. He says often we have 100% freedom and 100% responsibility, and this world is dominated by action. Through his teachings and exercises many people have transformed their lives by improving their health and helping them become more deeply connected to themselves.

In this podcast Swami G answers the following questions:

• What is happiness?/ How do I know if I’m happy?

Happiness, is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and, fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.

Because, hardcore happiness, tends to be such a broadly defined term, psychologists and other social scientists typically use the term ‘subjective well-being’ when they talk about this emotional state. Just as it sounds, subjective well-being tends to focus on an individual’s overall personal feelings about their life in the present.

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• Why does happiness matter?

Research shows that, hardcore happiness, leads to a wide range of benefits for our performance, health, relationships and more. So, rather than success being the key to, hardcore happiness, research shows that, happiness, could in fact be the key to success. Indeed, hardcore happiness, also brings substantial benefits for society as a whole. For example, a review of more than 160 studies found “clear and compelling evidence” that happier people have better overall health and live longer than their less happy peers.

The sad truth is that in recent decades we have become substantially richer but no happier. We have reached the point where mental health is one of our greatest social challenges – causing more of the suffering in our society than either unemployment or poverty. This is why increasing numbers of policymakers and leaders are now calling for measures of progress to be based on human wellbeing and happiness, not just economic factors such as growth in GDP.

• Does the Happiness Formula work for everyone

The, happiness formula, does work for everyone. Here is the formula. Seligman soon came up with a formula for happiness, H=S+C+V, where happiness (H) is the sum of a person’s genetic capacity for happiness (S), their circumstances (C), and factors under their voluntary control (V)

So Let me ask you this question. Are you Happy?

If you are struggling with Anxiety, depression, career issues, relationship issues, work/life balance, performance & productivity enhancement?
Then this training is for you .

Are you longing to feel happy in life?
Are you tired of living an uninspired, unenergized and luke-warm life?

If you are ready to live the life of your dreams, and find, hardcore happiness, feel in control, fulfilled and driven with purpose then head over to nakedmoment.com where Swami Brahmananda will help you to find the missing pieces and become the person you were born to be.

You deserve, happiness, and you CAN attain it. With Swami’s guidance and the power of an entire community of, happiness seekers,  you too can wake up happy.

Don’t know what your perfect life looks like?
Can’t seem to get out of your own way?
Always feel down, filled with fear or guilt?
Do you feel like your environment isn’t supporting you?

Stop feeling like there is no way out. There’s one clear step to take to find, hardcore happiness, and right now if you head over to nakedmoment.com/transform there will be some amazing free bonuses for you to get a head start on your happiness journey. Don’t wait. Join a growing community and get happy.

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Bonus Gift!
For all my listeners who sign up for the Happiness training, send me an email to info@myhelps.us and I will send you a bonus gift of my “Mindset Shift Focus Wheel workbook” You need a mindset shift in order to be happy in the present moment regardless of your circumstance.

If you found this blog post and podcast inspiring, please subscribe, rate and review and also share with your friends.

Additional Resources

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

How to Find Happiness After a Tough Year

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When The Vision Fails: Dealing with Failure

What happens when the vision ends? dealing with failure. In November 2016, most of the country was left in shock when Donald Trump won the general elections, because he did not win the popular vote. Hilary Clinton , failed, at her bid once again to become the first woman president of the United States of America. This was the second time an non established candidate knocked her off the podium. What was the cause of this, failure? I understand Hilary had a hard time, dealing with failure. Why did a woman who has been in politics for over 50 years, been the wife of a great president, founder of a great charitable foundation that provides vaccines for millions of poor children around the world, a champion for the people, lose to a man with no political experience, thinks that some people are superior to some because of their religion, sex and disability?

Was this, failure, because first and foremost she is a woman? It is harder, dealing with failure, when you lost because you are a woman.

 

Overcoming Failure

In Numbers 27 we see the daughters of Zelophehad, challenging an age-old law that said the women could not inherit the land. In those days’ women were not even counted as part of the church congregation. This was the pre-CHRIST era. Yet today we are still fighting for women’s rights.
Millions of men and women in the United States of America voted for Donald J Trump because he is a white male. One of my followers on Facebook posted that Hilary couldn’t run the country because she is a woman!

Let’s bring this discussion closer to home. Specifically, your home.

What happens when you have a clear, vision, that you worked on every day for most of your life and you fail to realize it time and time again? How do you, deal with failure? The bible says “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Refuse to be deterred by opinions, policies, and traditions. Do you become disheartened, dealing with failure? God can change the minds and hearts of the populist. What he did for the daughters of Zelophehad, he can do for Hilary Clinton and he can do for you. We can, overcome failure, by keeping the, vision, in front of you and get back up every time you get knocked down.

 

5 things you can do after, failure, of a goal, company, dream, marriage etc.

1: Watch your Thoughts

Most of us do not understand the power of our thoughts.
Dealing with failure, our thoughts are the highest energy frequency, and has the power to attract like thoughts floating around in the energy vortex. If you don’t watch your thoughts and consciously send back the negative thoughts that make you feel bad, you will experience, failure, for sure. Before you know it you would be a powerful magnet attracting every like thought that comes into range. Keep this up and soon you will be like a hot air balloon that is too filled with poop to take off!

2: Find the good in the situation is another tip to, dealing with failure

Shakespeare says

“Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

Brian Webb author of “Don’t Give Up, don’t ever give up“ shares his story in his book with that name and is great advice for, dealing with failure.
One day he had a headache like he had never felt before, extremely intense, he felt like he needed to throw up so he went to the bathroom. While in the bathroom he and passed out. He woke up 3 days later from a coma to find out that a blood vessel had ruptured in his brain. He could no longer walk or talk. He realized that life as he knew it, was over.
Doctors predicted that he would never be able to walk, drive a car or live independently again.

Three months later he was released from the hospital. He couldn’t talk, walk, or work. In fact, there was a lot of things he couldn’t do. But he decided to focus on what he could do instead. You heard the saying. When life gives you lemons, or, failure? You make lemonade! Well he decided to make some lemonade.

There is good in every situation, we live in a world of contrast. Nothing exists without its opposite. Find the good in your situation.
Brian decided to focus on fitness.

With the help of his therapist he began to exercise. He began learning to walk again. When he fell down, or experienced, failure, he would get back up. Walking turned to running. This man who could not walk a year ago, now became a marathon runner! I am in perfect physical health and I can’t even run a 5K race without stopping and I would guess this would be true for most of you listening. What makes some people hold a vision in front of them and don’t take failure as an option, while others give up after the first try?

Why is Brian’s story so inspirational? Because of his way of, dealing with failure. He turned his, failure, into triumph. He decided to focus on what he could do instead of what he couldn’t do, and with practice and time, changed his life trajectory. He walked again, talked again, ran again and worked again! What do you need to get back on? I can promise you that if you work at it, you will succeed.
Where there is a will, there is always a way.

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3: Change the momentum after Failure 

I love Abraham by Ester Hicks. I was listening to one of her videos a few months back and someone in her workshop asked her why he kept attracting negative experiences even though he was conscious about his energy vortex and made conscious effort to clean up his vortex. Your vortex is your energy frequency or your aura.

Abraham’s response was to explain momentum. Ever heard the saying:

The worst it gets, the worst it gets, and the better it gets, the better it gets?

That is all about momentum. If you think bad thoughts and feel bad, then you attract more, failure. The only way to stop the negative spiral of, failure, or negative momentum is to find something about the situation to be grateful for.

Let’s say you are Nick Vujicic and you were born with no arms and no legs. Can you think of a worst fate? You are totally dependent on someone to bath you, feed you, and wipe your butt, for the rest of your life. He can’t even hug his wife. Yet Nick is one of the happiest people you will ever meet. He found many things to be grateful for and because his vortex is full of positive momentum, he attracts great things. He travels all around the world getting paid to speak and motivate others. He has a beautiful wife and son. He learned to swim, use his toes as his hand and do lots of things people with hands and feet take for granted.

The thing about momentum is that it resets itself while you are asleep and is great for, dealing with failure. When you sleep, your spirit leaves your body in much the same way it does when your body dies. So, you have to deliberately keep the negative momentum going by thinking negative thoughts when you wake up in the morning. One way to change the momentum is to develop the practice of thinking of things you are grateful for before bed and on rising. The other is to find something in the situation to be grateful for. In the case of Hilary Clinton. She could be grateful that she will not speed up her aging by 20 years in the time span of 4 years. We all see what that job does to Presidents! It is a time warp!

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4: Look for an alternate way to serve, what is your plan B?

I was watching Oprah, another of my favorite people, on Super Soul Sunday a few months back and this very inspirational story was showcased.
This story was about this boy now man who had a, vision, from God when he was 10 years old of swinging his daughter around while she was laughing hysterically. He even got her name in his vision, Cloe. He held this, vision, to his heart dearly and never doubted for a moment that this, vision, would come true and that one day he would have a daughter just like he saw. Cloe had olive skin and brown eyes.

In his early 20’s, he started dating and subsequently fell in love with his childhood friend who was blond with fair skin and blue eyes. Having the vision of his daughter clearly in his mind, he didn’t think that this was the woman God intended for him to marry, because she could not be the mother of a child with olive skin and brown eyes.
One day they were sitting in his car discussing the future and started talking about children. His girlfriend told him that she wanted a daughter and that she would like to name her Cloe. He couldn’t believe it.

Would you have liked to be a fly on the wall when they both discovered that they were meant to be together, because God gave them both the same dream! Halelewa!
He knew that this was the girl that God chose for him to marry.

They got married and immediately started trying to have a family, they couldn’t wait to meet Cloe; but nothing happened. Four years passed, six years passed. The pain was deep from this, failure.  How could God give them both a, vision, that failed. How could he be so cruel. For a time, they both became separated from God. They no longer believed. But their faith returned!
The obvious next choice was adoption but they both rejected that option at first. They both wanted their own child. They wanted the baby girl named Cloe. They thought adoption was putting a band aid over their pain.

Finally, after many years of, dealing with failure, they made the mindset shift and decided to adopt a baby. They found an alternative way to fulfill their purpose of being parents.
They waited for some time for the right fit. Months passed before they received an email that a pregnant mother had chosen them to be parents of her unborn child. She was giving it up for adoption. She was also having a girl!

There were exhilarated! Finally, they were going to be parents of a baby girl. They started choosing a name. Cloe was off the table. Cloe was the name of the baby girl God had intended for them to have. This baby girl was not the vision that God had given both of them.

They decided to meet the mother of their new baby girl and get to know her. They drove to her home and when she opened the door, the man noticed that she looked like a grown-up version of the little girl named Cloe that he saw when he was 10 years old. Same olive skin, same features, same eyes. When they sat down to visit with the mother. She asked them if they had a name picked out for the baby. She told them she had a name and she hoped they would keep it. Can you guess what it was? I am sure 100% of you listening would guess right. Cloe.
Still gives me chills. I don’t know what will be Hilary’s path, history will let us know but I know for sure that if the, vision, comes from God, there is never, failure.

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5: Remember that there are several routes to your destination if you experience failure

Don’t get tied to a particular path. God is like your GPS navigation system, he can take the fastest route, the scenic route, he can bypass the city and construction zones; but he will get you to your destination. God gave this couple a, vision, that they will be parents of a baby girl named Cloe. He never showed them a vision of the wife being pregnant or delivering a baby. They added that little piece. He showed the man a, vision, of him playing with a daughter named Cloe. He showed him the destination.

If you believe that your, vision, is from God, then when you experience, failure, you would refuse to be deterred. You would not grow weary and disheartened. In, dealing with failure, you would look for an open door, you would look for the lesson so that you can be better prepared for the next battle. You would never quit until you WIN or you DIE. God said in the bible “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” So hear this, if you have failed in something, know that it is not the end!

As I wrap up this post from the Transform Your Mind radio show and podcast. Today I have been coaching on “When The Vision Fails: 5 Things you can do after a failure.” I hope you gleamed something and had a few aha moments. If you have experienced failure, I hope you were encouraged to get up and try again.

You can listen again to this broadcast and any of my previous shows by downloading then on iTunes.
Please remember to subscribe and leave a review.

If you would like to contact me for personal coaching or to be a guest on this radio show and podcast please contact me on the web @ www.myrnayounghelps.com

Additional Resources

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

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How to Assemble Your Power Team Like WandaVision

Valeri Bocage lost everything in hurricane Katrina and used her pain to create her company Powerful Women International. She believes that the greater your pain the greater things that are birthed from this pain. In the, WandaVision,  prequel, Vision, was, well, very dead. … Wanda eventually managed to destroy the Mind Stone – and, Vision, – but Thanos turned back time and plucked it out anyway. Both outcomes killed, Vision.

Valerie says  that whenever you focus on what you have lost, you can never move forward. Her purpose was to make a difference.
She says to figure out who your audience is. Who are you supposed to make a difference to?

My tip of the week is:

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

Our guest today shared her story of losing everything in hurricane Katrina and bouncing back to become the CEO of Powerful Women International. To do that she had to have positive self-worth and positive, core beliefs. Beliefs are the truths people hold on to that guide our life. The power of belief can trap you, as in the belief that you deserve only a limited amount of happiness. Or belief can free you, as in the belief that you are safe and protected in the cosmic plan.

When you open your awareness to your strongest, core beliefs, which are known as, core beliefs, two things happen. First, you find out who you are and why you behave in the ways you do. Second, new energies become available when you pursue the, core beliefs, that are life-supporting, fulfilling, and spiritually transforming.

A powerful, core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four, core beliefs,  you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

You already have existing, core beliefs, in these four areas of love, self-worth, security, and fulfillment. Your beliefs can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness. At the core of your being, where your true self resides, the truth about you is clear and unequivocal: You deserve unconditional love; you are of unique worth in the universe; you can trust Nature to protect and uphold you; and your fulfillment comes from being whole.

To overhaul your beliefs means that you get closer and closer to your core beliefs, these four inner truths, which are absolute. Right now, there’s a gap between them and what you experience. For most people, the positive and negative side of their core beliefs depend on how good or bad their experiences have been in the past. If you have been deeply hurt in love, for example, it is hard to adopt the core belief that you deserve infinite love.

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A Self-Awareness Exercise to Create Your Core Beliefs

Hawkeye on , WandaVision, is self aware that he is the weakest link.  Although he is an extremely skilled marksman, Clint Barton is often considered to be the weakest Avenger seeing as he’s just a regular guy with a bow and arrow.  Reliving experiences from the past only keeps you stuck in the past. Your core beliefs are activated in the now, every day. They can only be changed in the now! Here’s how:

Look upon what’s happening now as a reflection of your,  core beliefs.  If the reflection is negative, pause and ask yourself why it fits the storyline your beliefs create. If you experience any kind of abusive treatment, for example, this reflects a victimhood story supported by a core belief that keeps you in the story. If you experience unexpected kindness, on the other hand, this reflects a storyline that includes compassion and reflects a core belief in how much you deserve love.

A, core belief, that God has plans to prosper you, will take you through any setback.

• Valeri Bocage started Powerful Women International in 2006 after moving to San Francisco, a move that was prompted by the loss of everything during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Valeri lost everything except her indomitable spirit to help others. Initially, Powerful Women International was formed to help women live their dreams and to begin to support each other worldwide to fulfill their utmost dreams and expand themselves as leaders worldwide.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How did Valerie build and assemble her Power teams?

Power Team, is  a team consisting of people who possess all the strengths needed to achieve your mission. They are an extension of you not a mirror. 

You’ve thought about your, power team,  and created an ideal customer profile based on that aspiration. The same thing should be done as you prepare to build your, power team, members.

As you make a list of your, power team,  you’ll need an:

  • accountant,
  • marketer,
  • social media manager,
  • content writer,
  • public relations manager,
  • customer service representatives

This is the time to aim high; to refuse to settle for less-than-ideal.

With her,  Power Team,  by her side, Valerie was able to take her brand to more people, with greater positive impact. Too many brand builders work to simply fill positions, when they should be working to hire those people who will further the reach and value of their brands. Who will you hire next? What challenges are you experiencing whilst hiring? What difference your, Power Team, made.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

 

Additional Resources

All-girl engineer team invents solar-powered tent for the homeless

Daniela Orozcoshe recalls how many homeless people she saw on her way to school when she was a high school freshman.

 

How do You Define Success?

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

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7 Strategies to Personal Growth

Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.

The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.

Climbing Mount Everest

Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest.  Let’s be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.

The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.

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The Mindset of a Mount Everest Climber

As an, Everest, mountain climber,  you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don’t die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.

What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit,  Mount Everest?

I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth,  and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:

7 Characteristics  of Personal Growth

1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let’s put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don’t seem of this magnitude!

2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit,  Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth  and she climbed it and won.

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3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,

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4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.

5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can’t scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!

6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.

7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!

What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!

If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.

Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!

Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter

If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.

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Additional Resources
Howe Committed Are You? – 4 Steps For Climbing Your Personal Mountains
https://www.finerminds.com/mind-power/personal-mountains/
How to Face a Challenge With Confidence
https://chopra.com/articles/how-to-face-a-challenge-with-confidence
http://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/http://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

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How Spiritual Awakening Can Solve Life’s Problems

Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream.  When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness.   Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence.  Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.

Introduction to Spiritual Awakening

Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!

The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”

Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.

Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way;  not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us.  Live in the now”.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

When your, awareness,  or,  spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened,  your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality.  Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.

The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness,  you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.

There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.

Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.

 

Level 1: Contracted Awareness  or no Spirituality 

This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening.  Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move.  As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality.  If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:

  • Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
  • You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
  • There is an underlying anxiety and fear of failure.
  • Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
  • As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.

You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:

  • Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality,  that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with  positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.

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Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening 

This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality.  For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:

  • The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
  • You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
  • More people connect with you. You get council
  • You approach decisions with confidence.
  • You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
  • With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.

You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and,  spirituality.

 

Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening  or Enlightenment

Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.

  • You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
  • Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
  • The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
  • The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
  • You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
  • You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.

To be completely established in pure, awareness, of,  spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.

Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness,  to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.

Problems with, Spirituality

Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and,  spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:

  • You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
  • At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
  • You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
  • While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
  • You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.

It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness,  that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.

 

Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening

Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.

 

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/