“The goal of the, executive coach, is the goal of good management and that is to make the most of an organization’s valuable human resources.” – Harvard Business Review Organizations that embrace the culture that their employees and leaders are their most valuable resources, invest in the development of these resources.
Life Coach Myrna Young
Introduction to, Executive Coaching
There are four commonly used tools for improving human performance:
Coaching,
Consulting,
Training, and
Therapy
There are important differences between them. Just as it is important to know when to hire a consultant, it is equally important to know the when and why for using an, executive coach.
Executives claimed expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from an, executive coach. Dialogue, fueled through powerful questions, is at the heart of the, executive coaching, process. In coaching conversations, executives think out loud, become more reflective and gain access to their own tacit knowledge and unexplored ideas.The, executive coach, role is to act as a sounding board, confidant, partner, challenger and catalyst for change.
Jack has excellent technical skills and has fast-tracked to a senior executive position. He was certain he was a good leader — that is, until his, executive coach, asked him questions about his team’s excitement and engagement levels. It became clear to the, executive coach, that Jack’s team was frustrated. Jack was furious and “insulted” and he vowed never to work with his, executive coach, again. Subsequently, Jack pondered his strong reaction. He realized his, executive coach, had hit a nerve. “That’s why I reacted like that, because it was true,” he says. Jack is still working with his, executive coach, and continues to learn and develop. He appreciates his, executive coach, role in helping him gain self-awareness, which means understanding his strengths as well as his blind spots. “I don’t have these kinds of discussions with anybody else,” he says. “I am on such a straight path that I can’t see what’s going on. That’s where, executive coaching, really helps me.” Jack now expects his, executive coach, to hit a nerve from time to time. He sums it up this way: “The value to me is not for an, executive coach, to be really nice to me. I don’t need another friend. The value to me is having somebody to help me see what I can’t see.”
Executive Coaching, acts as a mirror for Jack, providing him with honest feedback and revealing gaps so he can see himself more clearly, as well as help him to identify goals and promoting sustained action.
Executive Coaching and Personal Accountability for development
Some executives use sports metaphors to describe, coaching. Anne, a high Achiever, thinks of, coaching, as a springboard for reaching her personal best at work. “Olympic medalists have, life coaches,” she says. “I want to be an Olympic medalist in business.” Anne regards her, coach, as her “personal trainer.” The common denominator in, executive coaching, and personal training is, accountability. You can learn proper techniques in a few training sessions at the gym, but it is easy to lose your way, by cutting corners, using improper techniques or missing workouts. Ongoing personal training creates momentum and accountability for development. The same is true for, executive coaching. As Anne says,
“Executive Coaching, provides an objective outside person to help you do assessments, set developmental plans and hold you accountable.”
Anne has invested heavily in her career, through education and hard work. She views, coaching, as another form of investment. She and her, coach, established developmental targets on day one. Now they have weekly meetings, either in person or on the telephone, to discuss her progress toward her targets and identify obstacles that are impeding her progress. Through coaching, Anne holds herself accountable for her continued success. Her bottom line:
“Coaching gets me from where I am today to where I want to be”
Executive coaching, facilitates what is called “just-in-time learning,” which is all about learning on the spot. Clients can practice and role play. Jack told his, coach, that he wanted to “take a stand” in his next meeting, and that he wanted to come across as confident, self-assured and assertive. Coaching, provided Jack with a dress rehearsal. He used the session to develop a strategy for the meeting. He knew that thinking on his feet in front of a group of people was not one of his strengths, so he and his coach brainstormed potential questions. Jack prepared his answers and did some role playing. The next day Jack was outstanding. He called it “a powerful experience.” The, executive coaching session, had facilitated just-in-time learning.
How, Executive Coaching, Helps the Organization:
Reduce turnover and retain top performing staff
Enhanced individual and organizational performance
Improved organizational strength
Perception of management as being committed to employees and their growth and success
Improved employee morale, more committed employees, thus greater productivity
Retention of high potential talent and talent magnet
Positive work environment, thus greater productivity
Executives learn coaching techniques which they can implement with their teams for improved relationships and productivity, as well as enhanced employee development.
Enhanced organizational performance
Positively affect organizational culture
Succession planning and development of key executives
Reputation of investing in executives through development
Enhanced reputation within industry
Ability to recruit key talent
Positioned for continued growth and success
“Executive Coaching, is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.”
“It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them. Clients say coaching brings out their best by helping them focus, break down tasks and clarify their values.” – Fortune Magazine
Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream. When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness. Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence. Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.
Introduction to Spiritual Awakening
Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!
The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”
Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.
Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way; not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us. Live in the now”.
When your, awareness, or, spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened, your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality. Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.
The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness, you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.
There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.
Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.
Level 1: Contracted Awareness or no Spirituality
This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening. Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move. As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality. If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:
Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.
You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:
Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality, that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening
This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality. For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:
The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
More people connect with you. You get council
You approach decisions with confidence.
You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.
You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and, spirituality.
Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening or Enlightenment
Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.
You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.
To be completely established in pure, awareness, of, spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.
Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness, to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.
Problems with, Spirituality
Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and, spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.
Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:
You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.
It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness, that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.
Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening
Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.
Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true. What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.
Listen to full interview here:
For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.
Introduction Core Beliefs
Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.
The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.
Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:
“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”
We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:
How we feel love,
our self-worth,
how we feel security, and
fulfillment.
Life after death.
Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal.
Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs
A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief. Therefore, the rules that apply to the, Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.
Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith Without Works Is Dead”.
Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief?
If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away. Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.
Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world. Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!
As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief, For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!
Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept
Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.
For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.
This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.
Scott Miller, author and EVP at Franklin Covey, shares tips on, leadership, relationships, efficiency, vs, effectiveness, and how to straight talk to your employees as well as family and friends.
What has the book ” 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” taught you about, Leadership?
I have had the privilege of being in the Franklin Covey company which of course was co-founded by Dr. Stephen R. Covey who wrote the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that, leadership, book has sold 40 million copies.
I wrote “Management Mess to, Leadership, success” because quite frankly my life’s been a mess. Not because you are an executive or an author or parent means you are a success automatically. I wrote the book because I wanted to share with readers that owning your mess is really the first step to becoming a success.
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Recognizing the difference between having an, effectiveness, mindset and an, efficient, mindset. One of the biggest messes that I’ve had to conquer was recognizing when am I in an, effectiveness, mindset and when I should be in an efficient, mindset; because they’re not the same factors.
I’m a very, efficient, person, I get up at 4:00 am in the morning, I write my column, I write a couple chapters on the books that I’m writing. On a Saturday morning I would get up at five o’clock, go to Home Depot and buy flowers and have them planted by six o’clock. Be at the car wash by 7 am, be at tennis by nine. I mean I live a very productive and, efficient, life. That’s helped me in a lot of areas of my life; but it hasn’t helped me in my relationships, because as Dr. Covey said
So one of the biggest areas of growth for me was with people. I had to learn to slow down. When someone comes into my office, I take off my glasses, close my laptop and turn off my phone. I have to really understand when and where can I be, efficient, and when and where should I practice, effectiveness. If you want to develop more trustworthy, long-lasting, mutually beneficial, relationships, be more cognizant of when you’re being, efficient, and fast and when you’re being, effective, and slow.
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I think it’s good advice to, leaders, to be a little more, self-aware, and introspective. Is your need to be, efficient, in some areas of your life negatively impacting other areas in your life?
Use Communication to become, Self-Aware.
It is all about, communication, because when you are being, efficient, you’re probably not being, effective, because it all depends on your audience.
Self-awareness, I use this term a lot. Everybody could benefit from being more, self-aware.
Ask yourself – what’s it like to be your friend?
What’s it like to be your husband?
What’s it like to be your neighbor
I’d encourage all of your readers, if you really want to improve your relationships, if you want to improve your influence expand your credibility and become more trustworthy or likable, go ask the people in your life what’s it like to be in a meeting with you.
What is it like to be on a carpool with you
What’s it like to go on vacation with you
What’s it like to be at dinner with you
What’s it like to be married to you.
When someone gives you that feedback, don’t refute it don’t brush it away.
Don’t blame anybody else, just listen.
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What, communication skills, are important to, leadership, success
Let’s talk about, leadership, and then this broaden it to a straight talk between peers. Talking straight is really a sign of respect to everyone in your life. We’ve all met people who say they call it as they see it, that is actually quite selfish. Talking straight is when you are able to base what you’re saying in fact. When you talk straight with someone, you don’t postulate, you don’t pontificate, you don’t technically tell the truth, but you kind of leave the wrong impression. No you just you say straight up what is true.
As a life coach, I would use something called the, sandwich technique, which means that you package that talk with something positive like a sandwich.
sandwich feedback method
I would not advocate the, sandwich feedback method. I think it’s generally disingenuous. I think the better technique is to first declare your intent, because the moment there is suspicion about your intent, everything you do becomes tainted. So be very clear on what your intent is. Say what is uncomfortable straight, no chaser without any bogus compliments and no hidden agenda.
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The first step to becoming a great, leader is to check their own paradigms, our own belief systems. We all have deeply entrenched, deeply enculturated paradigms that were built into us by our grandparents, our parents, our aunties, our first grade teachers, our neighbors, our relatives and it is how we see the world. How we see ourselves and everyone should be emotionally nimble, or emotionally flexible enough to challenge your belief systems.
Women in Leadership
Here’s a great example:
I am 51 years old, I’m Caucasian. I live in Salt Lake City, but I lived in the 70s in Central Florida, Orlando Florida. I am from an upper middle-class white family, one of two children. My mother was a full-time stay-at-home mom, my father had a fairly traditional corporate job. It was a stable family in the seventies and I was raised to believe that, doctors, police officers, and Catholic priests were always right and always told the truth!
Can you imagine for a moment that had I been eight year-old young boy and an altar server and that a Catholic priest who was perhaps a pedophile told me to do some inappropriate things?
I think the first step in becoming a, leader, of your own self, your own life is to challenge your own paradigms. You don’t see every situation, every argument, every interaction, every meeting, every conflict, every win, every lost accurately; you always have a little bit of a judgment on it.
We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.
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How does “carrying your own weather” help with, Leadership, Success.
Proactive, leaders, carry their own weather, reactive people give over there weather. They metaphorically give their power to other people. Proactive people choose their response to any situation, any crisis, any reaction based on values, not based on other people.
Here’s a great example of, carrying your own weather.
My son and I were in Miami and we came upon this intersection in a downtown shopping district where there had just been an accident. There was no injuries, very small accident. There was this young woman, I’m gonna say in her 20s who was having this outrageous, hysterical, verbal meltdown. I mean she was out of control. This person was not, carrying her own weather, she was giving up control of her emotions to that situation. Being out of control was serving her no benefit. The point of that story was people who are proactive, they’re calm, they’re rational, they don’t let other things influence their own responses.
Leaders who “carry their own weather” move from mess to success. They put space between stimulus and response. When someone says something to them that pisses them off, they don’t immediately lash out to them.
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What sets your book apart from other, leadership, and management books
I wrote this book was with very clear intention, I’ve been privileged to have my entire career dedicated in the, leadership, development industry. I worked for years with the Disney Company and now almost 25 years with the Franklin Covey company and learned a few things; but I have always struggled with a lot of these management and, leadership, practices. Like you I host a podcast and interview guests every week, I read close to 70 books a year and I wanted to write a different kind of, leadership, book because most, leadership, books are written by fortune 500 CEOs or academic professors and they’re kind of hard to relate to. I wanted to write a really real raw and relatable book where regardless of what role I was in, anybody in their career and their personal life could relate to a lot of my own struggles.
So the book is kind of uproariously funny, it’s very raw and blush. I shared a lot of my own messes in the book not because I was trying to be funny gratuitously, I just wanted to validate everybody that, leadership, is hard whether you are a formal or informal leader. It didn’t come naturally to me and so the challenge is based on Franklin Covey’s research, that if you can get your arms around these 30 principles, you will transform your influence in your relationships and your career. It’s kind of aligned with a month, 30 practices in 30 days. You can take one every day get your groove on.
Connect with Scott Miller at Franklin Covey on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.
I want invite you guys to join my private Facebook group called, life coach, there you can get daily tips and strategies to live in your best life now not only from me but from all the members of the group. Also please subscribe to the podcast and leave an iTunes review.
Sexy, total health, is not about how you look on the outside but on the inside. When you become conscious of these secrets, you embody, total health care.
When you become conscious of nature, mental health, presence and spirituality you have, sexy total health.
In this episode of the Transform your Mind radio and podcast, Host Myrna Young, Life Coach, interviews UDO ERASMUS, founder of Udo’s Choice, author of the book Fats and Oils: The Complete Guide to Fats and Oils in Health and Nutrition and Total Sexy Health. Udo shares his 8 secrets to Sexy, Total Health.
Udo: I can remember the fear the anxiety I had as a child growing up during the second world war in Europe, Sometimes you will hear me say that I was born in hell; and with a lot of help from visible and invisible friends, walked a long crooked path from there to heaven. I became a good reader of adventure stories, to escape hell even in the mind.
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As I grew older, along the way, I tried out many things and learned a lot. Every trade and job, every movement or breath and every step led me to the next turn on the path to find new, different and out-of-the-box possibilities.
I discovered that just like you take time to go to the bathroom, or time for breakfast everyday, you should take time to create awareness. Go back inside to the core of your being, to the magnificence of your soul.
You are not your body, you are the owner of the of your body.
That is why I created Sexy, Total Health.
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My question to you is, how much time do you spend with the owner of your body to create, total health?
Myrna: Interestingly, I was listening to Dr Deepak Chopra on Facebook live this morning and he was teaching about communing with nature and negative ions from plants and trees. I started touching shrubs as I passed them in the park on my morning walk. I am seeking sexy, total health, myself.
Udo: After searching for purpose for several years, I took a job as a pesticide sprayer and ended up with pesticide poisoning. Trying to cure myself, I started studying oils and fats. Frying your foods in oil is associated with all kinds of problems including diabetes, inflammatory diseases like arthritis, and also with cardiovascular problems. So I developed a method for making them under protection from oxygen and heat. Oils are the most sensitive and therefore most easily damaged of the essential nutrients. Light, oxygen in the air, and high temperature damage them, and then they damage your body.
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Did you get enough of the omega-3 or Flaxseed oil in your diet? 99% of the population don’t get enough omega-3 needed for, total health care,
Total health, is more than just using the right oils, actually everything affects your, total health. For example your politics affect your, total health. if there’s something going on that isn’t right with the heart or right with, total health care, then it stresses you out.
How active you are affect your sexy, total health, the water you drink affect your, total health, but we focus mostly on on the interaction with the world. Our kids, our employer, the religious system, or the educational system, or the political system. Our awareness does not go inside.
Sexy Total Health
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Here are the 8 Secrets of Sexy, Total Health
Digestion – EXCESS CARBOHYDRATES TURN OFF YOUR FAT BURNING GENES. Since excess carbohydrates (eating more of them than your body burns) can cause many health problems, it is only logical, practical and important that your body makes sure that you burn carbohydrates first.
Nutrition – Fats and oils come in two completely contradictory forms. There are fats/oils that heal, and there are fats/oils that kill. The truth is that to make good choices for better health, you have to know which is which, and then choose the fats/oils that heal. More physical health problems come from bad (damaged) oils than from any other part of nutrition. Knowing how to use oils is essential to sexy, total health.
Mental health – Becoming aware of being aware, you discover both the calm stillness that is awareness’ nature, and everything else that unfolds in that stillness. Real, true, personal peace and mental health has its roots in the core of your existence beyond your senses. With that awareness, you can solve the challenges and conflicts within you and surrounding you. Mental health is essential to, total health.
Presence – Presence underpins your essence and being. Your emptiness is not empty. It’s filled with your undiscovered magnificence and the precursor to sexy, total health. Don’t get stuck in the words. Words only point at essence; they are not essence. Let them float in the space of your being, and become aware of that space in you.
Consciousness – Consciousness is the field physicists call God. Consciousness is everywhere. It is omnipresent, in charge of everything going on in the entire universe.
Emotional awareness – Lack of awareness of your internal foundation begins your problems. Awareness of that internal foundation makes practical solutions to your problems available and accessible. Aware and focused in stillness, you find insights and knowledge. Stillness is the only known reliable practice for deepening insights. They are your best source of power, wisdom and manifestation. Live your life focused. Be focused in the present, which contains all that exists. Nothing is more powerful than the present moment.
Natural living – clean water, clean food, clean air and being in nature
Sleep – is Life Energy it inspires creativity and necessary for sexy, total health.
Download your FREE copy of Total Sexy Health Here:
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In this week’s segment of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I teach on the topic how to Raise your Self Esteem by Erasing Self Doubt.
Self confidence and self esteem is the belief that you can accomplish any task or any goal.
Self doubt is the negative narrative that plays in your head. It is like PAC man. It is there to eat up your confidence
I was listening to a Ted talk YouTube video last week and the speaker was telling his story.
He said for 10 years he smoked crack when he woke up and before he went to bed. Hoping to numb the pain of living. He was a disappointment to his mother, his wife and his children. He felt worthless!
On his second trip to prison, he spent a total of 8 years in prison, his adopted mother had a heart attack and he was told she was not going to make it. He felt pretty low that this woman who he adopted him and loved his as her own and tried to give him a better life was now in the hospital, in a cold dark room and he was not there to offer her comfort. This was the first spark of change in him. Maybe he should do something with his life other than being a mess up.
When he got out of prison this time he decided to go to college. He was now a middle aged black man and he was in college with 20 year old white students. Never the less he did good and now looked forward for the accolades his teachers gave him because he was performing better than expected. He said that praise was now his new drug. He lived for his teachers praises. One day one of his teachers put an application for a job on his desk. He couldn’t believe it. His teacher had confidence in him, his teacher had confidence in his ability to do the job. The self confidence seedling inside him got water and grew a little. As his self confidence grew, his life changed. No longer was he a non contributing member to society, he was making a contribution. He now had a new family and 7 years after he was released from prison, he received his PHD in Physiology!
Self confidence doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes you have to practice and practice until you build it. Sometimes it comes from your teachers or your parents.
So today I will share some tools to help you build up your self confidence and self esteem while starving the negative self talk. The negative talk that tells you, you are not good enough. You can never make it, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough.
But before we can get to the solution of anything or before we can get to anywhere on the map, we have to know how we got to where we are right now and pinpoint where we are.
For example. If you are at the mall and you are wanting to go to Macy’s department store you look at the map and it shows “You are here” if you want to get to Macy’s than you know you have to walk right or left.
It is the same way in life.
Statics show that we can shed a lot of light on how we got here on the map by looking at our childhood. You see parenting does not come
with a manual and some parents get it right; but most get it wrong.
Understanding your inner child is very important to unlocking the door of where you are on the map today.
You see when you came into the world you were totally dependent on someone else to care for you. Not just to feed you, bathe you, and to keep you warm but to love you, protect you and nurture you.
If whenever you cried your mother or caregiver came and picked you up and smiled at you and comforted you then you transformed that into the feeling of you are important.
If however when you cried you were ignored, then you formed the feeling that you are unwanted.
Even though you have no memory of being a baby, your heart and your internal computers have a record of everything. A hypnotist can go back and pull it out. That is the root of low self esteem and self doubt that is now an oak tree!
If today you are listening to me and you are experiencing low self esteem and self doubt or you don’t understand why you are not getting the results you want. Why you are here on the map and you can never get over there. I challenge you to do the work find out why.
I was watching Oprah Super Soul Sunday a few months ago and she had a guest who talked about going back to your childhood home in your mind and looking out the window. What do you see?
I did this exercise.
I grew up with a single mother and my grandmother in Guyana. Guyana is in South America. Our neighbors are Venezuela and Brazil.
We were very poor. Both my mother and grand mother were domestic servants.
I was the eldest of 4 children and we all lived in a room in a big house.
When I looked through the window of that room. I saw that even though I was poor, I had hope. I had love, I had friends, I was happy.
I saw that I had self confidence because I believed I was attractive. My dad told me so and I believed him.
I had self confidence because I believed I was intelligent. I did well in school. I was a B+ student.
I had self confidence because I knew I would get a good job when I left school. And I did. When I graduated from school, I got a job at the Ministry of Health. I was a payroll clerk paying all the doctors at Georgetown hospital.
I never lost my self confidence. If someone wanted to hurt me by calling me ugly, did nothing to me because I knew I was attractive.
If someone called me stupid, it did nothing to me because I knew I was intelligent.
That is why we have to have an internal lotus of control. You can’t let people steal your self confidence by telling you, “you are not good enough.” You are wonderfully made. As Joel Osteen says “We are all made like a fully loaded top of the line sports car” everything we need to be successful in life is preloaded at the factory. All we have to do is to read the manual!
I challenge you to go back to your childhood home in your mind and look through the window.
We lose self esteem because of a variety of reasons
• We were inadequately nurtured as children.
• We could have absorbed negative messages about ourselves and it still resides in the core of our beings.
• Self esteem is what you think and feel about yourself and not what others think and feel about you.
• How we feel about ourselves, is how we view the world.
To grow in self esteem is to expand our capacity for happiness.
The higher our self esteem the more equipped we are to handle life’s adversities.
The higher our self esteem the more ambitious we are not necessary in a career; but in forming healthy relationships and not repeating destructive patterns.
The higher our self esteem the more likely we are to form nourishing bonds with others.
Our external life is an indication of what is going on inside.
The art of raising our self esteem is a process your level of commitment determines how long raising your self esteem will take.
How to raise your self esteem by erasing self doubt
Some of us never got love from our parents; but we are now mothers. It is important to hug your kids often and tell them you love them. It is important to make your kids feel valuable.
But, even if you get no love from your parents, friends, lovers, you must love yourself. You can never give away what you don’t have. If you don’t love yourself you can’t love your children, you can’t love your husband.
How to be self confident
How do you know if you love yourself?
Ask yourself these questions?
• Do I take care of myself?
• Do I make being healthy a priority?
• Am I stretching and challenging myself to be better than I am today?
• Am I living life with passion or am I just passing through?
If you answered No to any of these questions then you need to make some changes in your life before you get to 80 years old and realize that you never lived.
How do you erase self doubt?
By Thinking it, speaking it and doing it!
The weeds that take over the garden of your mind can only flourish if you are a bad gardener!
You have to protect your dreams by plucking up the weeds before they grow. They will come. Self doubt always comes; but you have to pluck them out by speaking of your goals and doing something to get you moving towards the place on the map you want to go.
That is why you have to know where you are so you won’t move in the opposite direction.
First Think it. There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. William Shakespeare.
Rhonda brine of the secret says “What you think about you bring about”
Your thoughts affect your attitude, your self confidence, your mood, and there is a direct relationship to your thoughts and your experiences in life.
Remember when you were a kid and your parents would tell not to hang around Johnny or Jane? They did not know why; but they knew that if you kept company with Jonny or Jane, no good would come of you.
In the same way if you keep replaying negative emotions in your head such as fear, discontent, anger, jealousy, insecurities, blame etc then you will keep attracting more negative energy to your experience.
But if you are wanting that promotion and you see yourself in this new role and you are confident that you will get this promotion then you will. You might not get it at your first try but if you never give up it will be yours eventually; conversely, If you want this promotion; but you place road blocks in your path such as any and all negative thoughts then chances are you will never attract this reality into your experience.
When we think, our thoughts become like magnets and attract, and then attach to like thoughts. That is why it manifests in our life.
Nothing shows up in our life unless we attract it.
We have all seen the power of attraction in motion when if we have something bad happen to us at the beginning of the day, bad things keep on happening for the rest of the day.
So, it is very important to watch what you think.
Now let’s take a look at Speak it.
The spoken word is a powerful tool and by leveraging your voice you expand your dreams from internal thoughts to external possibilities, laying the ground work for divine purpose to manifest. Deepak Chopra
When you take your thoughts, which are formless and speak them into the atmosphere you give them form. This empowers them.
“Talk happiness; talk faith; talk health. Say you are well, and all will be well with you. God shall hear your words and make them true.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox
So, remember to speak it. Tell a friend or your coach of your intentions.
And lastly “just do it.” Nike made this phrase popular but it applies to more than athletics. Just do it. There will never be a better time than the present.
“He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything.”
― Samuel Johnson
So “just do it.” Think about something you have been thinking of doing for some time. Tell someone about it and then take the first step. It does not have to be a giant step. It could be as simple as doing research or taking that nice red Mercedes out for a test drive; but it will be a step in the right direction.
I hope my presentation was thought provoking. These are the principles I live by and I attract all that I want into my experience; so give it a try.
If you lack self confidence and would like to talk to a coach, I offer a 30 min Free strategy session to help you gain self confidence to achieve your goals.
Click this link to set up your Free Strategy Session
Namaste!,”
