Fear, can keep you on the sidelines. Sometimes you have to tell, fear, you are not welcome here and just, jump in. Sometimes it is a life-or-death situation like drowning, other times it is jumping in that job you are not sure of, jumping in the marriage even though you have doubts, jumping into taking that night class even though you don’t know how you will juggle child care and a full-time job.
First Corinthians 2:9 says, “However, as it is written:‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’ — the things God has prepared for those who love him.” But in order to experience what He has prepared for us, we have to, jump in.
When I was a young mother, my greatest, fear, was what would I do if my kids were drowning. Would I, jump in, to save them even though I didn’t know how to swim?
I quieted that, fear, by taking a swimming class at the YWCA and also making sure that my children learned to swim. Both my children are strong swimmers and can swim in the ocean. My skills are limited to the pool.
But I recently heard a story that made my blood run cold. At a church picnic by the river a young boy accidentally stepped into the deep end and went under water. Six other boys, jumped in, to save him. All six of them drowned; they never came back up. All six of them had parents watching who never, jumped in, to save them, because they didn’t know how to swim. So, I am asking you this question. If you don’t how to swim would you, jump in, to save your child?
So many times, we are faced with this decision in life should I, jump in, and trust God to take my hand and bring me out? Or do I let, fear, keep me on the side lines? Sometimes it is a life-or-death situation like drowning, other times it is jumping in that job you are not sure of, jumping in, the marriage even though you have doubts, jumping into taking that night class even though you don’t know how you will juggle child care and a full-time job.
How many women did not accept that marriage proposal in their 20s because you were afraid to, jump in, and today you are alone because you never got another proposal? If you had, jumped in, God may have taken your hand and allowed you to navigate the rough waters. My husband proposed to me after 11 months and I decided to, jump in, and quiet the negative thoughts that told me you should date for 2 years before getting married because people show their true colors after 2 years. This month is out 16-year wedding anniversary. God has held my hand through the rough times.
Moses, Jeremiah and Gideon jumped in the deep end of God’s will, and God did amazing works through each of them.
Jump in and tell the Devil to get behind you
Look the Devil in the eye and tell him get behind me Satan, not today. You are not keeping me on the sidelines rooted in fear. I am jumping in.
Allowing the, fear, of “what if” to mess with our mind and rule our heart will smother your confidence and courage with an avalanche of doubt.
Fear, has no choice but to leave the premises when we stand on God’s promises and say, “You are not welcome here.” I am, jumping in, and trusting God.
Tell the Devil “You can’t have my peace; you can’t have my family”
If you are fearful, jump in.
If you get in the water this is where healing takes place. If you get in the water God will show up.
You have to learn how to hold on to something that is broken until you get to the next level.
Stay afloat by just kicking your feet. Refuse to go down, just keep kicking.
Refuse to do the backstroke. You are never going back to feeling like that. You are never going back to loneliness. Don’t be afraid of the water. God has not given you a, spirit of fear.
Sometimes being an, open communicator, vs a closed off communicator gets you out of bad situations like in a relationship. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken.
This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with Coach Myrna Young, I interview Leadership Coach and Trainer, Gail Green.
Gail teaches us How to Become an, open Communicator. Gail is the founder of GoGreen Learning.
To receive her Free Gift of 3 Go Cards send her an email from her web site www.gogreenlearning.com
Here is a brief Biography of Gail Green.
•Gail is a leadership coach and trainer and her topic today is “How to find out if you are an, open vs closed communicator, as well as an, open communicator in the workplace. Gail is a leader who connects individuals and teams to their truth, helping them to discover their full expression of courage, joy and fulfillment. Gail works with all sizes of companies, as well as individually with leaders, and do life coaching with individuals from all walks of life.
Gail’s primary work is in leadership development, teambuilding, stress management and all forms of, open and honest communication.
Who is a Closed Communicator?
Why is being a, closed communicator, bad?
As a, closed communicator:
you become defensive,
resistant,
bitchy,
moody,
easy to anger,
confrontational,
and not open to feedback.
So as a Leader, it is important to be an, open communicator, to your team and employees.
Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.
If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be an, Open vs Closed communicator, with the help of her Go Cards.
Brian Tracy The author of “Eat that Frog” also teaches How to become an, Open Communicator, as a Leader and achieve new levels of success in sales.
Click the link below to find out how.
Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?
Here are a few questions to find out if you are an, open communicator.
How Would you answer the following questions?
Are you emotionally guarded?
Are you willing to take risks?
If you answered yes to these questions, it could mean that you are closed off emotionally.
Sometimes being emotionally guarded gets you into bad situations; but most of the time it gets you nowhere. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken. So that could be why you keep finding yourself in relationships that bore you, or in relationship with other emotionally closed off individuals. Because like attracts like. Those relationships aren’t very rewarding, are they?
Open and honest communication, is the best way to be in relationships at home and workplace. If you don’t take the risk by becoming an, open communicator, and putting your true self and your true feelings on the table, those are the types of relationships that you will attract.
Your emotionally open friends who love being, open communicators, will get those giddy, best-friends-lovers, movie-type romances; you will get the dead-end ones. Maybe you’ve never had your heart broken, and maybe you think that’s a perk. But it’s not. It is said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all! So, I will ask the question. Are you closed off communicator and don’t even realize it?
Here is an article from Madame Enoire that asks 10 more ways to tell if you are closed off personally.
Here are 10 ways to tell if you an, open communicator, or closed off
Do you feel like first dates are interrogations, and are put off by the line of questioning you receive during them?
Does it feel very inappropriate to you whenever someone becomes emotional around you?
Do your friends share their romantic stories with you? Or do they feel that you are never happy for them so they don’t share?
Do you attract cocky guys?
You do a lot of Googling before first dates.
You prep your friends to meet a guy.
Sex is a competition.
You’ve never cried to a partner or shown your venerability.
Eye contact makes you very uncomfortable
You’re very sarcastic
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The key to a life of financial freedom and abundance is right in front of you, and I invite you to share it with your friends and family!
Master Lama Rasaji, one of only 12 master Lamas in the world shares how we can harmonize, mind body and sprit, with, Tai Chi Gung, and meditation. He is the founder of Circle of Life and helps his students overcome challenges, live in abundance in all aspects of life including health, finances, and relationships.
In this podcast Master Lama Rasaji talks of the benefits of, Qigong, how to activate your own stem cells and how we can harmonize, mind body spirit.
Myrna: Tell us about tell us about, Tai Chi, and how that harmonizes the, mind, body and spirit, I don't know if you want to start off by saying how, Tai Chi, is different from other forms of movement.
Master Lama: Sure, yeah. Well, it's, again, the roots coming from ancient India. They had an old practice years ago that's been modified and kind of westernized over the last several 100 years. But it was called, qigong, and what they did you might remember, he would paint their forehead with three golden stripes. And then they would put a magenta dot right in the root of the nose. Today, they pretty much just do the magenta. It stood for, mind body spirit.
So that's the roots of our teachings because they come from the city of practice. So, the idea is, is that we have an, energy body, that if we're healthy, is seven feet in all direction right from the sternum. A master this field can expand his, energy body, to as much as 10 to 12 feet around him. The physical body is actually housed inside a box. It's interesting to know that the Earth itself has the same kind of, energy body, around it and we have in our bodies.
Chakras harmonize our mind body spirit
In, yoga, they refer to the psychic components called, chakras, which means whales that spins right? These, chakras, have spokes and are referred to in Sanskrit as our, energy body. There's 72,000 of those that we were born with. Around puberty about half of these folks are turned in and half of them returned out. There's a chance now to start turning those spokes out and then they're supposed to spin like a nice wheel.
Well, the shockers are as big as it is a stairwell on a sailboat. Now the exercises were designed to open up the Nautilus and then harmoniously take the, seven chakras, and spin o harmonize our, mind body spirit, and when they do we get a lot of spiritual, mental and also physical benefits. And it's just amazing, you know, people were to go to rasaji.com and see the testimony. The people that's been doing our 45 Day Challenge, where they're only doing about 20 to 40 minutes a day. And in the process, you'll start to hear people have a direct experience with the energy that we refer to as the, Chi.
Myrna: Yes, I've heard of that. Now I've been spending some time myself, trying to work with the, energy body, I'm conscious of it because I've been following you know, Sadhguru and I read his book ” Inner Engineering.” I'm now reading his book on “Karma” it's all part of, yoga, and he talks about this, energy body. So, when I walk, I am practicing extending my energy out and in the, energy field. And I do also do, chakra meditation to harmonize my, mind body spirit. But yes, Tai Chi Gung, is, is awesome. And I see sometimes people in the park doing the, Tai Chi Gung, movements.
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The seven chakras explained
So, what you're saying is that each, Tai Chi Gung, move is designed to open your, chakras, and manipulators of your energy that's beautiful.
Master Lama: It is and one of the reasons that you see it practice outside so much is because they are following through with the original master’s mindset and that means that they know that being outside the energy and the movement next to the intrinsic, chi, of nature, the four basic elements of earth, water, air and fire. Our body is a composite of those four basic elements.
When you examine the first four, chakras, in the body, the, Root Chakra is Earth. The second chakra is water. The solar plexus chakra would be fire, and then of course the air element around the heart center. Then the mind is kind of the fifth element. The throat chakra is the creative and power center. And then of course, we have the sixth chakra is that the root of the nose. And the crown chakra is the forehead.
You actually have five, chakras, but they're outside the physical body. And the only way to really get them activated is you have to harmonize the other, seven chakras. Now the neat thing about the, seven chakras, and this is one of the most powerful physical impacts the system has to people over a short period of time is they correspond with the endocrine gland system. So, the fifth chakra, we know we have our thyroid, right, and then the fourth chakra and of course we have our thymus gland.
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How the Kundalini energy harmonizes mind body spirit
So, when you go through for activation of the, Kundalini, as they refer to in India, Master Rabbi Jesus is how we refer to Jesus in the monastery. He referred to it as second birth. He said, you’re born of the water of a woman. But then again, you need to be born of the fire of the father.
And he said in order for us to really understand God's way and God's law we needed to get on the other side of this birth. Tai Chi Gung, was designed to help activate that and also keep it very balanced as a person goes through this transformation to, mind body spirit.. So, it's a real beautiful thing.
Myrna: Yes, you know, I love the, Kundalini, I practice that, meditation, because I like it. I practice it is like the, Kundalini, is like a snake coiled up at the bottom of your, root chakra. When you work the energy, you move it up your spine to harmonize, mind body spirit.
When you talk about your, energy body, is outside of us seven feet, and if it's healthy, you can propel it to 10 or 12 feet. When I'm walking, I'm aware of that as well because that's also your, soul, right?
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The soul explained
Master Lama: Well, your, soul, is housed deep down inside your body. The beautiful thing our explanation for the, soul, is as we know that when a mother is early pregnant, the, soul, actually enters the body of the expectant mother and the fetus during simultaneously when that baby moves that first time which is usually about halfway through pregnancy.
So, but the first meridian that said there we call the, fetus meridian, which an acupuncture physician, they say, going up the spine as the Governing Vessel coming down the front of the bodies, that conceptional vessel, and that's one of the keys that we use to balance the, Kundalini.
Because from time to time, people have opened sometimes prematurely the, Kundalini, and maybe they start to get side effects. Headaches are very common. For if the, Kundalini, is getting stuff, for example, the energy in the head. So, the idea of, Tai Chi Gong, is our movements, keep the, chakras, balanced and the, mind body spirit, harmonized so that the, Kundalini energy, moves through. So, when the, soul, enters at the beginning of life it's like this.
Think of rock going across the water or electrical surge in the body and what you notice about the expectant mother is you can see her one day before, soul, makes entry. And you will see a different continent on her face, and the light in her eyes is intensified because now you have the president of the second, soul,
Myrna: That's amazing. All right. Well, I was told from one of these books or whatever, that the, soul, goes in and out your body and it comes in front of you.
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Transform Your Mind Podnews
Mind body spirit and the soul
Master Lama: It has the ability to do it. The tendency is that it's rooted normally, initially, right behind the sternum, in the body. That's why when things happen, people say they feel pressure there, you know, and stuff gets routed there and what happens as you go through the other side of the, Kundalini, transformation, or what Christ referred to as second birth, now, actually more of the, soul, than ever before can occupy the body. And what happens is it pushes its, energy body, out and those meridians that acupuncture physician, used to treat primarily inside the physical body also begin to now exceed beyond the physical body.
If I grab the Florida orange and peeled it back, I would see a membrane around the orange right? Well, that membrane now feels your, energy body, and so does those pressure points and meridians. So now you have the ability to connect and influence energy patterns, and harmonize the, mind body spirit, much further distance.
This is very powerful because if you're needing to send out healing energy to someone, you're projecting yourself, part of yourself a master can project all their self if need be. And this is when Jesus makes the reference. So is one born of the Spirit. He is talking about the, mind body and spirit. He says where the wind comes from and where it does what we know not. So is one born of the spiritual, and he makes reference to the, mind body spirit, which is the ancient India through the laming experience.
Myrna: Thank you for that explanation. I had a little bit of information but not the whole picture.
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I want to touch on something before we move on to the, circle of life. You mentioned that we can activate our own, stem cells. So can you explain, I'm pretty sure it has to do something about this energy and the, chakras. Can someone do that with, Tai Chi Gong?
Master Lama: Yes as you go in to the, Kundalini, experience, and you go into trance formation, you're going to start to turn them on. And the analogy basically, that's going on inside us miRNAs if I'm in a residential house, I know the electricity grid runs like 110. But if I go into commercial grade, it's like 220. And so, the surge of electricity is totally different.
As we're going through the second birth, they're going from 110 as a human being into 220 wattages right. And we're getting our lights in our cells in our body turned on. There is a switch that has been thrown now. It's partially activated by the, chakras, and it's partially activated by the endocrine gland system itself.
So, one of the things that, Tai Chi Gong, does, as it is designed to strengthen the, energy body, first. Balance the, chakras, open those spokes connecting, mind body spirit. Now once that's in place, then the energy starts to go into the different systems of the body. Obviously, the respiratory and the, nervous system, which are closely linked to the, meridian system, is first activated, but as you examine, then all of a sudden, the circulatory system gets benefit.
What is meridian system in the body?
The simplest definition is that a meridian is an energetic highway in the human body. Meridians allow for the flow of energy, known as Qi (pronounced “chee”), to circulate throughout the body. Meridians exist in corresponding pairs and each meridian has multiple acupuncture points along the pathway.
Then the muscles start to get benefit eventually, it goes down into the bones, eventually all the way into the Mara of the bones itself.
When that happens, well, you know, when you think of a disease like leukemia, leukemia is the opposite of regenerating bone marrow is actually the depletion of that so imagine that you could practice it art, strengthen your, auto immune system, to the point to regenerate bone marrow, and then you'll understand how profound we're talking about.
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When the energy body becomes activated
What we've observed is the humans today came in and were introduced to a system like, Tai Chi Gung, early, what should be happening Myrna is when a child reaches the natural age of puberty he should be introduced to the, energy body; but instead, the child does a lot of things. We do poor diet, do not exercise, negative thinking, not breathing correctly, very little oxygen, all the things that are the opposite of what I teach in my first book, called “The Circle of Life.
My, energy body, was not activated for until after I went through surgery. And then I got into martial arts and, yoga, leading up to me meeting my teacher in physical form and fortunately for me, got activated within a year or two after that. I found out later all the way into second birth as I developed more of my martial arts skills, it increased my speed and increased my stamina.
And really, it did amazing things for my mental focus. Just absolutely. I remember before then, when I was trying to pick up dance choreography. It would take me a while, but all of a sudden introduction to, Tai Chi Gong, and I remember I was picking up dance steps and choreography just like, that was amazing.
Harmonizing mind body spirit and money
Myrna: Okay, so that's amazing. Well, thank you for that. All right. So, tell us about your company, the circle of life. And how do you help your students’ overcome challenges.
Master Lama: So, money depending on how you look at, there are many different forms of, money. So, we have the dollar bill. And then we have the precious metals. And also, we have to first start to see, money, is energy itself. The moment we start to understand that products, goods and services are exchanged for something and then that transmutation or transformation, oftentimes, it's a different form of energy. As a matter of fact, that is today the world's like, okay, so what should I invest in?
When we were growing up, our parents would tell us, you know, own land because there's only so much out of it, right? When you think about it, that makes a lot of sense, but that also means the Earth has an intrinsic value that paper money doesn't have, so they vibrate the different frequency, right? Well, let's take precious metals, gold and silver. The things that have been trends of value, what it's telling me if I was to move forward with my life over the next 10 years, I would probably want to own some property.
I would probably want to own some silver and some gold and if I had, I had an affinity toward precious jewels, emeralds, diamond say these are all intrinsically value by the Divine because he only made so much. Also, there is so many we teach people you know, one of the things that begins to happen is the exercise start to really balance both hemispheres of the brain burner. So, your creative and your analytical side, all of a sudden start to come together.
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Circle of Life 45 day challenge
We teach people to get a little spiral notebook, go to the dollar store. And begin to put that by where they practice. And it's amazing the creative ideas that come up. We also have this document they can download. On the website rasaji.com is called the column exercise and the column exercise, a little exercise that you can use to help you determine, Okay, maybe I want to create a nurse what that business look like, and how would I connect to that business? Maybe I want to make an investment. Maybe I'm looking for my soulmate. How would I really strategically energetically go about finding that person? How do I harmonize, mind body spirit?
So, this column exercise that they download after they start our 45 Day Challenge, which is absolutely free. They can go to rasaji.com The Circle of Life and they can click on 45 Day Challenge. All they have to give us is an email address. That's it, then the videos that support the challenge all the documents come to them. And all they're required to do is commit to about 20 to 40 minutes a day. One other thing we asked them to do makes them experience more powerful and that is saying no to negative input over the next 45 days.
They can read the testimonies on the site Myrna of people that are anywhere from maybe 145 Day Challenge to as many as five or six of them already.
Kanye West's mother Donda built up her son's, self confidence, by speaking life into him. She told him “If you are a giant, you can’t see yourself when you look in the mirror”
In this episode of, 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna, I want to teach on, self-confidence, and use the Netflix documentary of, Kanye West, as the background story.
Kanye West, grew up poor in Chicago and started rapping at a young age. He started producing beats in his teens and created beats for legends like Jayz and others. But his vision was to be a rapper and nobody would give him a record deal as a rapper, because he was labeled a producer. His mother Donda kept speaking to his, confidence, she kept building him up by telling him he was great.
She told him “If you are a giant, you can’t see yourself when you look in the mirror”
That was a powerful statement and Kanye used that as his fuel to keep pushing and he finally got that record deal with Roc-A-Fella records, but he still had to push to get his first album released. The album was an immediate hit topping the charts at #1 and he was nominated for 10 Grammys. Kanye West, is now on his way to becoming the richest black man in America.
Kanye West mother spoke life into him by calling him a giant
Kanye's, confidence, was stroked by his mother. She told him he was a genius and a, giant, and he started walking and talking like a, giant. It all started with his mother Donda watering his dreams and building his, confidence, until according to, Kanye, his brain became too big for his head. That was his explanation for his battle with, mental illness.
Let’s look at that statement a, giant, looks in the, mirror, and sees nothing.
Self-confidence, is looking at yourself and knowing that you are crushing it. Whatever it is but if you lack, self-confidence, when you look in the, mirror, you see nothing; there is no reflection of beauty. You see failure, you see your flaws, you see not enough. What, Kanye West Donda, was saying to, Kanye, was that he was so great that he couldn’t comprehend it and so couldn’t see it when he looked in the, mirror.
That is the most powerful builder of, self-confidence, I had ever heard because from then on whenever, Kanye, doubted himself, he would remember his mother’s words that he just couldn’t see his greatness because he was bigger than even the, mirror.
We are all giants and limitless
We can all be, giants, because we are limitless. We can become anything we want, but what holds us back is feeling small when we look in the, mirror. The people of Israel saw themselves as, grasshoppers, they saw themselves small and insignificant. Remember, Kanye West Donda, words a, giant, looks in the, mirror, and sees nothing, so keep pushing until the, mirror, catches up to your vision.
Parents remember to speak into your children’s lives. Richard Williams spoke into Venus Williams and Serena Williams lives. He told them that they will become the best in game of tennis. He told them that they are future champions and they would win Wimbledon and they believed and came into agreement. Serena Williams did become the greatest in the game of tennis.
I speak into my children’s lives all the time. Sometimes they come into agreement and sometimes they feel that because I am mom, that I should say these things. Don’t worry if they don’t look like they are accepting your vision. Remember the movie Inception. All you are doing is planting seeds, when the time comes, that seed will become a forest.
So, keep speaking life into your children, into your spouse, into yourself. Tell yourself that when a, giant, looks in the, mirror, he sees nothing so if you don’t see anything it is because you are a, giant! Everyone sees the, giant, except you.
Conclusion
This is life coach Myrna Young and you are listening to, 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach for daily inspiration. Until next time Namaste
Are you trying to find your, purpose? Take inventory of what's in your, hand? Unfortunately God does not make your, purpose, clear, you have to check your natural gifts and talents to gain clarity.
“What's that in your, hand?” the LORD asked, Moses. Moses answered, “A staff”
“If you have a tendency to despair over lost opportunities or if you worry about the future, ask yourself this question: “What is right in front of me?” In other words, what circumstances and relationships are currently available to you? This question can get your focus off a past regret or a scary future and back to what God can do in your life. What is God's intention for your life, what is your, purpose, gifts and natural abilities?”
Ways to find your purpose
Finding your purpose
You may be at a crossroad in your life and want to change careers but you don’t know what you want to do. To find your, purpose, ask yourself, what do I have in my, hand? What are my gifts and natural abilities? Take inventory of your natural talents and abilities. What are you good at? What do you like to do? What have others told you that you are good at?
What did Walt Disney have in his hand when he was broke and out of a job? Answer.. he had in his hand the natural ability to Draw. That pointed him to his, purpose, of creating the “happiest place on earth”.
What did Nelson Mandela have in his hand when he was imprisoned for over 27 years in a small cell? Answer. He had the natural ability and gift to lead. His, purpose, was to lead his people out of Apartheid. God put in his hand the natural ability to forget self and work for justice for his people.
How did J.K Rowling find her, purpose? She was broke and a single parent with no support? She asked herself, How can I figure out what to do? Her answer.. she checked what she had in her hand, what was her gift and natural ability. She was an English teacher. She used her love and mastery of the English language to create a story in her mind and then put it to paper. The Harry Potter empire was born.
How I found my purpose
In my book “Out of the Snares” I share How I found my, purpose, by checking what I had in my hand. I had in my hand the ability to write and to tell a good story. I had a love of people and the compassion in my heart to want them to succeed, so I transitioned to becoming an Author and a Life coach.
If you are trying to find your, purpose, check what's in your, hand. What do you have in your, hand, that God gave you at birth to build his Kingdom?
Use what you have in your, hand. You were created with a, purpose, God gave you the skills and, talents, you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
Check out what Propel Women article said about finding out your, purpose, by referencing the bible story of Moses and how God used what was in his, hand.
Stop asking when you are going to get your gifts or, talents, or calling and see what’s in your, hand.
But there’s a bush that is burning and, Moses,’ life is about to get flipped upside down.
What is in your hand?
Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?” Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?” “A staff,” he replied. The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses, threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it.” [Ex. 4:1-3]
In Exodus chapter 3, Moses, had many doubts and many fears. He came up with tons of excuses. But God asked, Moses, what was in his, hand.
We know, Moses, has a shepherd’s staff in his hand, a dead thing. But then he laid it down and it became a snake. A dead thing became a living thing, and a dangerous thing at that. So dangerous in fact that, Moses, actually runs from it! God says to pick it again and it becomes a dead thing again.
Just like God told. Moses, I believe God is telling people today to lay it down. Will you not lay down your identity? Many of us are defined by our job, our education, our financial status, or marital status. But Galatians 2:19 reminds us that, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Yes, it’s no longer about me, but rather Christ who lives in me. God is saying, Let me be the one to give you identity. Find your identity in me.
Our passion is our purpose
Before we find our passion and, purpose, we must be willing to lay down our influence and recognition.
The recognition of man pales in comparison to what God has called us to. God is asking if you’re willing to lay down our dead things so he can make them come to life. Many people are living lives that are dead; it feels comfortable and safe and controllable.
But when God gives us a vision for our life like He did with Moses, we’re able to see the power God has for us, the purpose he promises us, and the plan he wants for us. It might scare us. Some might even want to run away from because it’s terrifying and they won’t know how to handle the amazing things God has for them.
Pick up your copy of “Out of the Snares” and understand the Biblical principles behind the story of Moses and the “Burning Bush”. Learn how our “Burning Bush” is our passion and natural talents.
Trying to find your, purpose? Need help understanding what is in your hand? Let me Help you. Get 4 coaching sessions for $200.00 with the order of “Out of the Snares.”
In his book A new way of life, Author Samy Barnat talks about life after crises. He discusses the, climate change crisis, water crisis, economics crisis, war crisis, pandemic crisis and , oil degradation crisis.
Samy Barnat is the author of A New Way of Life: Be the Solution to the Crises we Face: Increasing Deaths from Climate Change, Lack of Water and Food, Economic Crises, Fake Democracy, Risk of War, and Future Pandemics.
Samy Barnat is an independent multidisciplinary researcher in human sciences. His multi-disciplinary background (psychology, politics, economics, philosophy) gives him a rare global vision that many experts lack. His independent research incorporates outside the box thinking. Both precious elements for finding global solutions to the global crises we face.
The soil fertility crisis
Samy: If you have the best, mindset, but your environment is toxic, and we have a toxic society, that's kind of a big problem.
Is there a job for everybody?
It's a simple question, you can have the best, mindset, possible but if the economy is structured in a way that there is not a job for everybody and we have little money, you're going to be stressed. Or if you are constantly having anxiety of being fired. It's also the way the environment is being destroyed, the, crises, is we are destroying our environment. Very few people know that, soil fertility, is a growing problem. The, soil, is being destroyed by the way we do agriculture now.
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Myrna: Yeah, I have just become aware of #savesoil, Sadhguru is traveling 30,000 KLM to promote, save soil. I interviewed a member of his team a couple weeks ago. Yeah, we're talking about food. We're going to talk about your book, A New Way of Life, later on. How is politics and Philosophy connected?
Samy: Everything is kind of connected. That's something I think we are all starting to realize that everything is kind of connected. Your mental health is connected to politics and economics, because if you don't have enough money, you're going to get stressed and if the environment is not fueling growth, you are going to be stressed.
If you are worried that your kids are not going to have a good future, because you can’t afford their education, you are going to be stressed. That is why politics and Philosophy are connected. It takes leaders like Sadhguru to increase awareness.
Myrna: I see what you mean, because the politicians are directing our future. Whether it's health care, getting rid of student loans or price of oil. I thought you were saying that politicians, use psychology to get us to vote for them.
Samy: Absolutely, you're totally right and in a very manipulative way.
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Myrna: I like what you said about having a, healthy mindset, is very important for, personal development. Personal development, is a big topic. I'm in the, personal development, space and the, mindset, space. The mind dictates everything. What we believe dictates our level of development, because most people don't do the work to control their, mind. What is a healthy mindset? How does our, mindset, control anxiety and stress?
Samy: The idea is simple. It's just we have, positive emotions. And it's very important to understand this. I mean science it's only about principles. When you study science, you study principles, it's like the laws of nature and gravitation in physics. Our, emotions, have their own loads which were created by God.
You have, positive emotions, when your, desires, are realized. And you have, negative emotions, when your, desires, are not realized. So, for example, a baby cries because a, desire, of food is not realized. As an adult if you have an objective, to study and to pass an exam and you fail the exam, you have, negative emotions. You can find as many examples as you want; but the essence it's about, desire. So, as a result, we have to be extremely careful what we, desire, because if we have impossible, desires, we suffer from anxiety and stress.
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So first of all, we have to be careful what we, desire. We need to make sure we have, realistic desires, all the time, so many people don't do that. It's better to reduce your objective. So at least you will be in peace emotionally. You know what I mean? Because you don't want to be suffering all the time. We should question everything in the light of this principle, ambition.
And deeper than that, it's our personality, and that I think so many people need to hear this. So basically, our, personality, or what so many of us call our, personality. It's kind of a, desire, which we were told.
So, for example, so many people, they have a, desire, to be the best and they think that's who I am. I want to be the best. I'm the best, they have this, internal dialogue. It's a program really, it's an, unconscious program. And it was taught by their parents as a kind of a, life strategy. If you try to be the best, at least you can get the best job, the best partner etc.
They don't realize that a, type A personality, is actually the cause of their pain. If your, desires, are not realized, you have, negative emotion. So, if you try to always be the best, it's just impossible. So, every time you're going to feel like you're not the best, you're going to feel sadness, stress, anxiety. It's kind of a, crises, of constant stress, and you don't understand why. You don't know where it comes from. It actually coming from what you call your, personality.
But it's not your, personality. As a human being you are able to recreate yourself all the time, to adapt all the time. So, you should absolutely not cling on to an, unhealthy desire, which is to be the best. This is a, crises.
Myrna what you are doing is very helpful in the, personal development, space. It's about, NLP, neuro linguistic programming, which is simply, reprogramming our mind. It simply reprogramming with new words, new desires, a new personality, etc. Like saying no, I'm not always the best, sometimes I'm weak, I’m not always clever, sometimes I am stupid.
Myrna: So basically, it's about, reprogramming our mind with, affirmations.
Book A new Way Of Life solutions to the crises we face
A New Way of Life A solution to the crises we face
We have a lot of crises So, tell us what solutions you offer in your book?
Samy: Okay, so yeah, so, basically, I'll start with what I think are the most urgent, crises, and then we can move on from there. So, the, soil degradation, crisis, it's something we hear so little about in the media. It's so important because the way we do agriculture is actually destroying the, soil. So, in the world you have a lot of places where this desertification has started.
So, the soil is becoming sand. It’s not very productive in terms of food, and that's a big deal. A, crisis, will start to emerge in a more dramatic way. We are all going to be affected by that. We cannot just rely on our politicians to take care of these big issues.
We've seen it with, climate change, for example. They knew about, climate change, for 30 years, and they have done very little because of the lobbyists who put pressure on politicians and big corporations like Exxon. They don’t want to do anything about, climate change, because it was going to make them lose money.
The other, crisis, we need to worry about is the end of the end of, oil. Our life is based on, oil. Food is produced with, oil, agricultural machines need, oil. Everywhere in the world, more than 60% of the population were working as farmers. So that gives you an idea of society before, oil.
Oil, is everywhere, all the products, almost the job of everybody is completely relying on, oil. All the products are imported with, oil, for trucks, and boats from the other side of the world. And that includes food or whatever you sell, whatever your company's selling, it's relying on, oil, so when we go towards the end, it means it basically means the collapse of the economy.
Myrna: I understand about the, soil, because they are depleting the nutrients of the, soil. And the soil is becoming sand. I don't understand an, oil crisis, because, oil, is supposed to be limitless. Why are you saying that we're going to run out of it?
Samy: So, you know, all resources are limited. I mean, half our planet is finite. It's limited.
Myrna: Oil, is all over the place. All you got to do is dig. They just found, oil in Guyana. Apparently, you can go dig in your backyard and might find, oil.
Samy: Okay, so you can see the graph showing discoveries. The peak of discoveries was quite a long time ago. So, it means since that time, we discover every year less and less, oil. We still discover some, but the question is, is it going to be enough for the global economy? It's a question of quantity.
Myrna: Politicians are looking at ways to not use, oil. They're looking at energy efficient ways. So that's what they're starting because maybe they know that maybe in 30 years or something, the, oil, will be depleted. But I personally think that we live in an abundant world, that everything that we need is right here, and it's not limited.
Samy: Yeah, so the, oil crises, I'm speaking about, the data came from people working in BP, and Shell Exxon. They give me numbers about when we will reach the end of, oil. You can you can check this on internet because those reports are for free. But it gives us a rough estimation, the end of, oil, would be around 30 years around 2050. But what we should worry about is the end of, cheap oil, because even if we still have, oil, if it becomes too expensive then that it is the end and society collapses.
For example, we've seen now in Spain, it gives us a glimpse of the future. Because of the, war with Russia, the supply of oil in Europe is limited. Okay, so in Spain, what happened is that truck drivers, the oil increased so much that they could they couldn't earn a living. They basically had more charges, compared to earnings, so they stopped working.
Myrna: it was happening in the US too. A lot of truck drivers protested at the Canadian border for same reason, gas prices too high. The diesel fuel is twice that of regular gas.
Samy: This gives us a glimpse into the future, the end of, cheap oil, will affect our lives. Oil, is the basis of modern society.
Myrna: Okay, all right. So that's a good reason for people to get your book. So, do you offer solutions in your book? What was the reason you wrote the book, and what do you want people to walk away with after reading your book?
Samy: So basically, it's about preparing your family. I'm saying the first thing you should worry about is your family. In France, there’s much more awareness on this topic and many people they have started to buy land. You need land because when society collapses it is going to be violent. When you don't have food, people fight.
The second solution would be to have your local community prepare for the, oil crisis. So, it's kind of the solution I'm giving in the book. So basically, what I'm saying is we need a new way of doing politics.
Conclusion
Myrna; All right, tell people where they can get your book so they can get your solutions to all these, crises.
Samy: So basically, if you go on https://samybarnat.com/ you will find links to all social media and the book, so you can you can just get there.
Myrna: Okay, all right. Okay. All right. So yes, and of course, the book is available on Amazon. So yeah, it's me. It's been we had a really good conversation and we covered a multitude of topics. I specifically love your take on why people are happy or unhappy. Thank you.
The men went out and explored the land for 40 days and came back with their report. The land is indeed flowing with, milk and honey, here is a sample of their crops, but we can’t take the land because the people living there are, giants, we are like, grasshoppers, next to them.
In the bible story of the, promised land, The lord said to Moses send your men to explore the land I am giving you. It is a land flowing with, milk and honey.
So, Moses sends out 12 men, all tribal leaders with these instructions Find out:
What kind of people live there? Are they strong or weak, few or many?
How do they live. Did they live in tents or in a fortified city with walls,
The men went out and explored the land for 40 days and came back with their report. The land is indeed flowing with, milk and honey, here is a sample of their crops, but we can’t take the land because the people living there are, giants, we are like, grasshoppers, next to them.
Two of the 12 men had a different report, they said the land is indeed rich, flowing with, milk and honey, and we can take the people, because the lord is with us and they will be helpless prey to us because they do not have the protection of God. Do not be afraid of them. They are not, giants.
This bible story illustrates fear of the unknown, the inability to take what the lord has already given you.
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Do you see yourself as a grasshopper or powerful like Gandhi
Do you see, giants, and feel like you are a, grasshopper, that will be crushed if you move forward with your goals and desires? What’s keeping you from your promised land or destiny?
Let’s look at, Gandhi. Gandhi, was a small frail man who looked like a grasshopper, the giant he faced was the British Empire and, colonialism. This small, gentle man, a Hindu who also studied other faiths, gave birth to the concept of non-violent resistance for social change. In his native India, Gandhi, was instrumental in ending, British colonialism, fighting the, caste system, and improving women’s rights.
The caste system explained,
The caste system, is deeply rooted in the Hinduism belief in karma and reincarnation.
Dating back more than 3,000 years, the, caste system, divides Hindus into four main categories – Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas and the Shudras based on who they were in their past life, their karma, and what family line they come from. Many believe that the system originated from Brahma, the Hindu God of creation, believing that the Brahmins represent the eyes and mind of Brahma and are therefore often teachers and priests, the Kshatriyas represent his arms and are often warriors, the Vaishyas represent his legs and are often farmers or merchants, and the Shudras represent his feet and are often laborers.
Gandhi on Non violence
His unique non-violent approach would become a pivotal part of movements throughout the world, from the Civil Rights Movement in the U.S. to the fight against apartheid in South Africa. Did, Gandhi, feel like a, grasshopper? Did he see the British as a, giant? NO. He had no fear.
Go after your goals and desires, God has already given them to you.
The lord told the people of Israel I have given you the, promised land, a land flowing with, milk and honey. He did not tell them they had to fight, giants, for it. God has already given you the victory, yet you see, giants, and don’t, go get it.
I remember reading Dwyane Wade’s autobiography and he said that he saw Michael Jordon at his first all-star game and Jordan told him, go get it, he didn’t know what he meant at the time, but later he realized he meant “go get the MVP. The MVP was already there waiting for him, God had already given it to him, all he had to do was, go get it.
Same with your dreams and goals God has already given it to you; you just have to, go get it. You are not a, grasshopper, no perceived, giants, can crush you. Remember if you are a believer, you have the protection of God on your side and the opposition will be helpless prey because they have no protection.
So become fearless and go get what God has already given you. There are no, giants, and you are not a, grasshopper but, strong and courageous.
GRASSHOPPER CHARACTERISTICS
Grasshoppers, are medium to large insects. Adult length is 1 to 7 centimetres, depending on the species. Like their relatives the ‘katydids’ and ‘crickets’, they have chewing mouthparts, two pairs of wings, one narrow and tough, the other wide and flexible, and long hind legs for jumping. They are different from these groups in having short antennae that do not reach very far back on their bodies.
Grasshoppers, usually have large eyes, and are colored to blend into their environment, usually a combination of brown, grey or green. In some species the males have bright colors on their wings that they use to attract females. A few species eat toxic plants, and keep the toxins in their bodies for protection. They are brightly colored to warn predators that they taste bad.
Nobody should want to be a, grasshopper, or call themselves a, grasshopper. It means that anyone can crush you. As a man thinketh so is he. If you see yourself as a grasshopper, then people will see you as such and proceed to step on you.
This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach. Until next time Namaste
Daphne Maxwell Reid, was one of the Black women to work on network television as Aunt Viv on the popular sitcom, Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Reid says that they were a family and they continue to be great friends 30 years later.
Being among the first of a few black women to work in popular television reminds me that one doesn’t choose to be a pioneer,” she says today. “One does what comes next in their journey, and sometimes you happen to be the first to do it and breakdown barriers. I just happened to land in that slot of being first for some things – but being the first doesn’t mean anything if it doesn’t seed the growth of a lot more.
Daphne Maxwell Reid, continues to thrive as a creative entrepreneur and artist, continuing to dazzle anyone who knows her with her bold spirit, grace, and work ethic. One of the first African-American women to make the cover of Glamour magazine and one of television history’s most beloved sitcom moms on, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Reid now balances her acting gigs with her work as a photographic artist, clothing designer, and education activist, demonstrating that it’s never too late to pursue new passions and find new opportunities.
Daphne worked in dozens of television series in the 1980s, guest starring in shows like “WKRP in Cincinnati” (where she first worked with her husband, Tim Reid, to whom she has been married since 1982), “Hill Street Blues,” and “Simon and Simon,” she first took a lead role on the acclaimed series “Frank’s Place,” opposite Tim. But it was in the role of, Vivian Banks, in the last three seasons of “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” with, Will Smith, that endeared Reid to a new generation of fans.
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Breaking barriers as Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Myrna: I know that you took on the role of, Vivian banks, in season four. Can you tell us your journey up until that point? And how did that role shape your life and allowed you to, break barriers?
Daphne: That's Wow, it was another job. I had done a bunch of Back-to-Back series, including the one that you mentioned earlier Frank's place, and Simon and Simon and Tim and I had worked a lot, and we were getting ready to move to Virginia. And in I think, it was 1989 that the show started being cast and my agent said, we've got a show for you to go read for it's a half hour sitcom with a rap star and I said, No thank you.
So, we moved to Virginia, I saw the fall shows come on and there is the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and it was so cute. I said, oh, well, go on living doing other things. I was doing projects with McCall pattern company and QVC so I was busy. Three years later I get a call saying we want you to come and audition for the role of aunt Vivian on the, Fresh Prince, of Bel Air. So, I went and I, myself and 200 other women showed up. We had a casting session that went on about two weeks.
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And about the third audition, I got to work with James Avery. And we clicked, I fell in love with that huggable, wonderful man. We remained friends the rest of his life. He and his wife and Tim and I used to travel together during the show when we were off and he was just a dream. I guess that chemistry sold because they hired me to go and become one of that wonderful family. We are truly a family of friends who have stayed in touch all these 30 years.
Myrna: I know it's been 30 years because Will had he was 22 when the show started and I think he is 52 or older now.
Fresh Prince of Bel Air still popular 30 years later
Daphne: It's been a while. It's amazing that the show has such legs and we're on our third generation of people who come up to me and say, you're Aunt Viv. But you didn't know back then, this was 30 years ago. You didn't know what the reception of the audience was, except by the numbers that you get from the network. There was no social media and all that kind of stuff. So, we were just doing a show. We were having a lot of fun and we got good numbers.
So, they let us continue to do it. And the end of the fifth year, Will Smith, told us that we will only be doing one more season of the, Fresh Prince. He was doing movies. He's an incredible businessman, and watching him grow from where I started with him to the man that he became, I just was very, very proud of him. So, six years we had our last episode of the, Fresh Prince, and we cried. But we all stayed in touch with each other. Yeah, so that's beautiful.
Will Smith Slaps Chris Rock
Myrna: So, you and, Will Smith, are still friends did you talk to him after the Oscars? We have this situation the, Will Smith slap, heard around the world, I am so sorry for him. My heart goes out to him. I've always admired him because of the huge movie star he's become and I watched the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You know when it was on and the reruns.
So, I've always loved, Will Smith. When I read his book, “Will” I kind of understand where he was coming from. As soon as he slapped Chris Rock. I dropped right into that space about him not wanting to be a coward. He starts off his book by talking about being a coward.
So, have you spoken to, Will Smith, since this episode about the, slap on the Oscars? I don't think he was ever violent. So, what is your opinion of all that slap?
Daphne: I have spoken to him and I don't share my opinion. I love the man that’s all I have to say.
Myrna: Okay. All right. Well, that's good. All right. So at least you've spoken to him probably offered him some condolences and all that. That's good. All right. I respect that. One of the things I did before our talk is I went back and I looked at a couple of episodes of the, Fresh Prince, that you were in, so that I can talk to you about a few episodes. And it was really incredible that two of the top 10 episodes that you were in, talked about two things that, Will Smith, did later on in his life.
Will Smith bungee jumping at 50 years old
The first episode on the, Fresh Prince, I want to talk about was when Hillary was being proposed to her fiancé did the bungee jump and He splashed on the ground. And you had this great comeback on that by saying,
“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh”
Do you want to talk about that episode? Why didn't that scare the bejesus out of, Will Smith, why would he do, bungee jumping, on his 50th birthday?
Daphne: Probably because he wanted to face his fear of, bungee jumping. Watching National Geographic shows, you see that? He's working his way through his, fears, and confronting them and getting over them and getting past them, encouraging people to do the same. So, I'm sure the bungee jump episode on the, Fresh Prince, was sadly funny. If it had happened to anybody that we knew that probably would not have been funny.
Myrna: What about your line “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away”. Do you have experience with that?
Daphne: Well, we know in life you win some, you lose some and it depends on how you handle either is where you go on your journey.
Myrna: That's true. Okay, good. Yeah, because a lot of people, a lot of Christians say that and it's very true. Once you up once you're down. We can even use that analogy for, Will Smith, being the biggest movie star and now he is down. The Lord giveth on one hand and the other hand he taketh away, like Denzel Washington said, and devil comes for you when you get to the top. And sometimes you've got to be able to resist him.
Daphne Maxwell Reid relationship with her father
Now the second episode that I wanted to talk about, Will Smith, talked about it in his book, is that episode where his father played by Ben Vereen, where he came into his life and then he left and you had this scene where you said
“if you walk out of this kid's life, again, don't come back.”
Can you identify with that episode? What was your relationship with your father? Will Smith, had a love hate relationship with his father. His father abused them as a child and what we're seeing today are the results of that abuse. What was your childhood like?
Daphne: My childhood was idyllic. Mother and father who were loving and supportive. Yeah, my daddy used to spank my behind when he thought I needed it, but I don't call that child abuse. I call that discipline and sometimes it's needed maybe once or twice and you get the message. But I had a wonderful father. He was he was a mentor on so many fronts, as was my mother. She is the person that I am striving to become. And I had no problems as a child. I was brought up in the projects as they call them, just low-income housing that my father was able to get into because he was in the army.
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It was a, black community. It was multiracial. It was multi ethnic, it was an exposure to all kinds of people but that's what New York City was like back in the 50s. So, I grew up in a very multicultural, supportive environment. I am not one whose father left. This episode on, Fresh Prince, was one that made, Will Smith, vulnerable again. They address the same issue in the new show. Bel Air where his father comes back and he finds out where his father has been and, in the new Bell Air, he sends his father away.
But I think from the character's point of view in the original episode of the, Fresh Prince, there was enough pain and we know what pain he went through when his father first left and we didn't want to see him in that kind of pain again.
Breaking barriers with relevant storylines on the Fresh Prince
Myrna: Yeah. I mean, you told Will’s father if you walk out, never come back and he did walk out. I guess when the writers put that episode together, they were probably trying to address, a black culture where we all grew up. A lot of us grew up without that experience where you have to have a mother and father in the home. Majority of black kids grew up without a father. Again, when you're dealing with some, important issues and trying to make it funny.
This episode was very emotional for, Will Smith. And that's why he talks about in his book, and now you're saying that they're still bringing it up in the new, Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Daphne: Yeah, because the storyline is basically the same. But in the hour format, they have the ability to dig deeper into each of the characters and see a well-rounded character, that we didn’t have time to do get a half hour show. We had five different opinions on how to confront this issue. And sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, but as a family, we get a solution to whatever the challenge is.
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Myrna: And yes, your husband played by James Avery was a rock. He was not only funny, but he acted that part very well. And I know that, Will Smith, looked on him as a father figure. So, it was beautiful that you guys we're a real family. And I think that's what happens when you work together for you know, five, six years.
Daphne: Not necessarily I have had other series other than the, Fresh Prince, that I've been on. And you might be friend one or two people in the show, but it's never been this close a family with any.
Myrna: Hey, that's amazing. Now let's talk about you, transforming your career at 60. You said that you woke up on your 60th birthday and realized that you have been opening doors and, breaking barriers, for younger generations for a long time. What were some of the, barriers, your career has broken down and do you still think that you're breaking down some, barriers?
Daphne: I think my existence is breaking down a, barrier. Many, many situations it's nothing more than just educating people that people like me exist. They are not all categorically one way or another. That is a, barrier, to break because there's a lot of misconception about our community. And we have strived all the years we've been in television to show a broader range of our community. Show the people that we grew up with as well and not just the characterizations created by the dominant culture of what they think, black people do, and how they are.
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Fresh Prince of Bel Air breaking stereotypical barriers
We had the freedom on, Fresh Prince, to sit around the table with the writers when we got the scripts and say, no, I think culturally, this is different from where we're coming from, and they were able to listen and adapt to the cultural specificities that we presented. And it was very respectful and a great place to work. Tim Reid and I have been doing a lot of television since the 70s. And when we had the, the authority, the power to make sure that the people behind the camera reflected what we were presenting in front of the camera.
We took that opportunity to do that. And Tim is famous for creating heads of departments where there didn't used to be any in the, black community. So, he's got a whole legacy of changing the camera. What you never saw before, and now it's so refreshing. I went to work on the new Bell Air for one episode and behind the camera was the most diverse, young, vibrant group of folks, I was pleased. Whatever contribution we made in the 70s and 80s and 90s to make break down, barriers, to make this more normal. I am so pleased that it is expressed at this time.
Myrna: Yes, that's amazing what you said about the, black experience, as a reflection of our true culture and not stereotypical, it's really interesting that I came to that consciousness just a couple weeks ago. I was on XFINITY and they have a category called, black experience. So, I went on to that category. And everything on there is about woman who can't pay her rent, and she is evicted and, and all that and I said to myself, why can't they show a, black experience like the Kardashians. That's what I want to see. I don't want to see struggle. I don't want to see the black person homeless or whatever.
But you're right what you guys did in in the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, is you showed a professional, black experience. Beautiful house, everybody was a professional and wealthy living in Bel Air. I noticed that Herman Ainsley played on an episode and his show The Jefferson’s also showed a different, black experience. He's the other one who started to break those stereotypical, barriers. You got broke down barriers and opened the but the door needs to be wider. Black people, is not all about poverty and struggle.
Daphne: It needs to show all of our experiences we are not a monolithic group. No, we are as diverse as any other nationality, race, whatever. We have a lot of diversity. We have successes, we have failures. So, does everybody so they should show a wide berth? So, people can see that we are not, monolithic. And when we have control of the content, which is something we have continually strived to do. We have control, we have the ability to express those kinds of differences.
Myrna: And even the black actresses, whether they're actors or actresses, they're always striving for better roles too, because they always want to pigeonhole you into the, black experience, where you're, a stereotype. Nobody wants to show a millionaire or billionaire black person in the show. And I believe that's necessary to inspire our people.
Daphne: It's changing and a lot of the change is because there are more platforms to show work than there used to be. It used to be only three networks and that was it for if you want to see something on that little box, but now there's so many platforms and there's so many people who are taking the helm of producing and green lighting projects that reflect what they want to show.
I had the honor of being in the movie, Harriet, and what was so much of an honor for me. I had only one line but I couldn’t care less. I wanted it to be around a, black female director, a black female producer, a black male designer, a black fashion designer and Cynthia Erivo. I mean, it was such an honor to work in that environment, where you feel the passion from each one of them. To make this one of the best things you've ever seen. It was a remarkable working experience that I'll treasure.
Myrna: That's amazing. That's true. And the academy rewarded them. They won several awards. All right so you have been married to Tim Reid for over 40 years, what is the recipe for a successful marriage in Hollywood? Do you still live in LA?
What's the secret to a successful marriage in Hollywood
Daphne: No we do not live in Hollywood, Okay, in Hollywood we would have been with 40 years by regular calendars, but in Hollywood it would be like 160 years. A lot of people get their egos busted in Hollywood. If you're not standing on your own two feet, you're going to have a problem. But what I think our secret to a successful marriage is we've learned how to fight fair and we respect each other.
You have to start with a basis of respect because that fire that gets you together in the first place, doesn't burn for 40 years. With this person who you have chosen to be with, and you cannot change anyone, so stop trying to change people. They are who they are. Deal with it. Well, that goes both ways and always bring something to the relationship.
Don't go there just to take. Make sure that you have something to give in the relationship, so you can grow together and allow each other to grow in the way that they personally need to grow. Its hard work and takes some effort. It takes learning how to fight fair and perseverance. It also takes some love Yes.
Myrna: Of course, love have to be there else it’s not going to work. But you are correct the love transforms itself from passion just loving being together and doing life together.
Daphne: You have to want the best for each other. I mean, if you start to tear down their desires to grow, you're really setting a bad example, because they can turn around and tear down your desire to grow and stagnation is not a good component of a marriage.
Myrna: That's awesome. What are you up to these days? Are you still acting? I see you have 4 photobooks and a cookbook. Can you tell us about those?
Daphne: When I take photos, I do things with them. I made tote bags this this year because COVID kept me from traveling and I couldn't take more pictures. I always do a line of coats and I still do custom coats. I stay busy because I like staying busy. And I have some talents to share and I continue to say share with them. I made masks during COVID I still make masks, I put a HEPA filter in them and they're safe to wear but they're also stylish. I make them for donation pieces for different art groups that I work with.
I designed fabrics that I use to make these masks, I designed fabrics for any use. I like to take these journeys of exploration and see where they leave me. And since I turned 60 many years ago, I started my photographic journey and decided that I was going to be a photographic artist. I had to learn what that meant and how to do it. And I started with gallery shows and I started making note cards and prints that you put on the wall and they just evolved into stories that I've talked about my travel which into books, which turned into a wonderful, wonderful way to travel.
Myrna: What do you photograph? Is it scenery or people?
Daphne: They are, to me a metaphor for life. I want to encourage people by looking at my doors to see what I saw at that moment because I only take one picture of each door. See what I see at that moment how God lit it. How the craftsmen crafted it. Colors, the texture, noticing the details of your life makes your journey very rich. Don't go from A to B just to get there, be sure that you pay attention to the details of getting to be because that enriches your journey and makes for a wonderful joyful life.
Myrna: Now that's a perfect metaphor or analogy to end the transform your mind show, that is amazing. I did not notice that. And I've actually never heard that. How many times do we notice a door? We just use it as an entry point. So that's beautiful if you stop and look at that. I was doing some visualization yesterday and they said that whenever you walk into the door of your house, that you should picture yourself walking into your dream life. I never pay attention to my door and never remember my visualization.
Daphne: You just notice the details in life and it really is enriching don't just hold that phone and walk around. Open yourself up and live your life. Don't just look for it to be animated in front of you.
Myrna: That's wise advice. I follow the reaching of Sadhguru and he talked about, paying attention, to your inner world. So, I started doing that, paying attention, because we don't even pay attention. Everything goes on automatically in our lives and in our body. So what you're talking about is, paying attention, to things in life and then once you start doing that, then maybe you can bring it internally.
Daphne: Your health depends on you, paying attention, to what your body is responding to. You listen to it, and pay attention to it. It will guide you to what you need for your body.
Myrna: How can listeners connect with you and get copies of your books, masks and designs?
Daphne: www.DaphneMaxwellReid.com The site has everything about me, what I've been doing, what I'm going to do, what I've done. Join me and look at what I have to serve with what I have to offer you.
Saying yes to your, demons, is how you get rid of them. Demons, feed on, negative energy, and, conflict. So just accept them and tell yourself if you ignore them they will go away.
There is an ancient story of a, monk, who leaves his cave to gather firewood and when he comes back, he finds his cave filled with, demons. They had taken over the joint. His first thought is I got to get rid of these guys, so he tries pushing them out, fighting them, lunging at them but the, demons, were unphased.
The more he tried to get rid of them, the more they settled in.
His next approach was to teach them the, dharma, and make them leave on their own.
He teaches them about, impermanence, nonphysical and physical, compassion etc. but they just stared at him with wide eyes understanding nothing.
He realized that these, demons, could not be manipulated to leave so he resigned himself and decided to find out what they were there to teach him. As soon as he accepted these, demons, most of them bow and dissolve except one.
There is always one fierce, demon, that sticks around that is difficult to get rid of. So, he walks up to this, demon, and said “you win, just eat me” and he sticks his head in its mouth and that, demon, dissolves also. The moral of the story.
The, demons, leave when you stop fighting and say yes.
How many of you can relate to this story? You are, conflict, with your spouse, your boss or best friend. You are trying to convince them of your point of view but the more you try to debate the issue the more they settle in on their point of view.
So, finally you say to yourself I give up you win and the second head on your spouse vanishes!
The, monk, even tried to teach the, demons, the, Dharma, and about, impermanence, because they felt they were still alive.
Buddha, had three essential teachings called the, Dharma Seals. These three teachings of the, Buddha, are:
Impermanence,
no self and
nirvana.
For instance, our body is visibly impermanent and getting older every day, and yet this is something we don’t want to accept. Certain popular magazines that cater to youth and beauty exploit this attitude. In terms of view, meditation and action, their readers might have a view — thinking in terms of not aging or escaping the aging process somehow. They contemplate this view of permanence, and their consequent action is to go to fitness centers and undergo plastic surgery and all sorts of other hassles.
Enlightened beings would think that this is ridiculous and based on a wrong view. Regarding these different aspects of, impermanence, getting old and dying, the changing of the weather, etc., Buddhists, have a single statement, namely this first seal: phenomena are impermanent because they are compounded. Anything that is assembled will, sooner or later, come apart.
Nirvana, is a place of perfect peace and happiness, like heaven. In Hinduism and, Buddhism, nirvana is the highest state that someone can attain, a state of enlightenment, meaning a person's individual desires and suffering go away.
Just as all-important legal documents have the mark or signature of a witness, all genuine practices of the, Buddha, bear the mark of these three teachings.
Teaching impermanence to demons
If we look into the first, Dharma Seal, impermanence, we see that it doesn’t just mean that everything changes. By looking into the nature of things, we can see that nothing remains the same for even two consecutive moments. Because nothing remains unchanged from moment to moment it therefore has no fixed identity or a permanent self.
So in the teaching of, impermanence, we always see the lack of an unchanging self. We call this “no self,” the second Dharma Seal. It is because things are always transforming and have, no self, that freedom is possible.
When you are fighting, demons, it is easy to say “I give up, eat me” because they feed on the energy of, conflict, fear, and, negative thoughts, just remember another ancient saying “this too shall pass” the, demons, only stay if you fight them.
What can our, demons, teach us? Every, conflict, is here to teach us something.
If you are in a relationship and someone is always pushing your buttons, then that is an opportunity for growth. This, demon, is here to teach you to have an, internal locus of control. When you have peace inside, no one can deliberately push your buttons. You will find that the, demon, dissipates when you don't react or respond. It is no fun trying to steal your peace if you don't lose your peace. Practice not reacting to the, demon, just say yes and they will leave you alone.
Say This too shall pass, everything is impermanent.
Thanks for listening to this week's episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
Dr. Gleb Tsipursky , is a Ukrainian and a behavioral scientist. He shares why we should never go with our gut. He believes that Putin went with his gut and attacked Ukraine believing it would be an easy victory because he was able to attack Crimea in 2014. There was not a very strong international push and reaction against, Russia. And the, Ukraine Army, did not perform very well. And so, he judged that based on past trends, and the same thing would happen again and he, underestimated the enemy.
And so, those impulses to make decisions quickly without sufficient information. That's what a snap judgment is. And we do that because we're overconfident. Just like, Putin, was overconfident in this situation, people are also overconfident about who they marry and chose a partner without proper information.
Myrna: Putin said that the reason he invaded, Ukraine, was because there were Jewish Nazis in, Ukraine. Everybody said that that was a ludicrous idea, because your president, Volodymyr Zelensky, is Jewish. So, educate us to what do you think was going on with, Putin. Why did the Jews come into the conversation?
Dr Gleb: The crucial thing, so again, I have a Jewish background and so does the current President of Ukraine, Zelensky, who has become world famous right now.
And so, Ukraine, and, Russia, and all that part of the world. A really important part of their heritage is fighting against the Nazi Germany in World War Two. So, if you think of the history books in, Russia, in, Ukraine, and Moldova, in Belarus, Latvia, Estonia, the United States, you have the 1776 revolution was like a fundamental episode in American history, kind of the founding in the Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, that part of the world, the former Soviet territories.
World War Two is really the crucial element that is in the history books as marking the rise of the Soviet Union, Russia, Ukraine. And so that was a fight against Nazi Germany. And that's part of the people's identity. So, whenever the political leadership is trying to scare people, and manipulate them into doing what the leadership wants, it brings out the specter of Nazis and labels everything bad on the Nazis. And so that when, Putin, was saying denazification. He's not speaking to us, he's speaking to his own people to justify the war. Putin, doesn't think that the world outside, Russia, will be convinced that there are any actual real Nazis in the, Ukraine.
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Does Putin war on Ukraine come from his gut?
Myrna: Thanks for explaining a little bit about what, Putin, is doing as far as his conversation about the Nazi Germany. But let's talk about you, you became a, risk management, and, decision-making expert, when we're talking about war, when we're talking about the pandemic, when we're talking about anything that has risks; that is where your expertise lies. So, tell us about this, risk management, and what is that all about?
Dr Gleb: Sure, happy to. So, there's a reason that my book was called “Never Go with Your Gut” Our, intuition, unfortunately, has been shown to lie to us very often. And many people trust their intuition. So, they think I should trust my, gut, that if it tells me something. That's what I should do. I mean, that's what, Putin, did when invaded, Ukraine. He trusted his, gut, and we can see where it landed him? In some very bad places.
Myrna: Yes, his gut told him that, Ukraine, would be an easy win, 6 weeks later, he had not made any progress.
Dr Gleb: You're exactly right. You can see that his, gut, was very wrong. And that's because he bought into these ideas, myths that you should trust your gut to follow your intuition. Despite the advice of many military advisors are telling him no to invade, Ukraine. Instead, Putin, sent his troops very quickly with unaccompanied tanks, paratroopers without sufficient support to try to occupy airfields around here to basically take the political capital. And that worked out very badly for him.
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My background is in, behavioral science, which means how do we behave, and why do we behave that way, it is part of, cognitive neuroscience. How does the structure of, mind, shape what we do? And the interesting thing about that is that our, mind, is really not evolved for the environment. So, when we see what our, mind, is about, our, intuition, our, gut reactions, those parts of ourselves that are bound for the savanna environment when we lived in small tribes of 50 people to 150 people, and survive using the fight or flight reflex.
And so, we have certain, intuitions, that are shaped by that Savanna environment that various structures of our, minds, which cause our, mind, to be lazy, minimizing the work that needs to be done. That causes us to make very quick snap judgments and make decisions based on past tendencies and predictions of what would happen.
So, for example, with, Ukraine, when, Putin, was able to attack Crimea in 2014, there was not a very strong international push and reaction against, Russia. And the, Ukraine Army, did not perform very well. And so, he judged that based on past trends, and the same thing would happen again and he, underestimated the enemy.
Myrna: Zelensky, was not the president back in 2014. Putin, underestimated the enemy, right.
Dr Gleb, He not only, underestimated the enemy, but the, Ukrainian army, which was very much strengthened, both by, Ukraine, itself and by Western Arms, military arms during that period, and he underestimated the strength and resolving of the international response, which was very strong.
Myrna: Putin, underestimated the enemy, because, Ukraine, is not part of NATO, so he felt they won’t get any help. He made a lot of bad calculations.
Dr Gleb: We need to learn that our, gut, often is not to be trusted. There's a reason that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. Because people tend to trust their gut their intuitions about marriage.
Myrna: You're right we marry somebody because of your, gut feelings.
Dr Gleb: Yeah, you should make a more evaluative and calculating decision. And it feels very weird for people to hear this if they should make a calculated decision about who to marry. But if you don't think through your decision, you are not going to make good choices. Let's say you want kids, are you prepared to raise your children as a single mother if you get divorce? Since the divorce rate is 50% and most times the women are taking care of the kids, you have to think this through before you get married.
If I'm the woman, I don't want to be the sole caretaker of the kids. If we have kids will need to divide up responsibilities. 50% right, otherwise, so one of the most common periods for people to get divorced when you look at when people get divorced is the first year after having a child which is pretty terrible.
And so, those impulses to make decisions quickly without sufficient information. That's what a snap judgment is. And we do that because we're overconfident. Just like, Putin, was overconfident in this situation, people are overconfident about who they marry.
What is the impact of Russia's war on Ukraine in the US
Myrna: Let's get back to the war on, Ukraine. What do you think is the impact of, Russia, war on, Ukraine, on Ukrainians, and then on the Russians living in the United States?
Dr Gleb: So, Ukrainians like myself are definitely devastated by it. And we feel very strongly a lot of anger, a lot of frustration. And there's especially this very weird dynamic where we're all part of the, Russian, speaking community, right. I don't speak, Ukrainian, all, I speak is, Russian. But there are many, Ukrainians, who don't speak the, Ukrainian, language, especially for ones who come from more from eastern, Ukraine.
And so right now, many, Ukrainians, are in the weird position of speaking a language that is associated with an enemy and that is their cultural heritage. And that's been the position I find myself in. So that's like a really strange and weird dynamic. And there's a lot of sympathy and empathy for the people in, Ukraine, especially with people like myself, I have family there, and I'm really worried about them. So that's kind of, Ukrainians, and our experience.
Now I also have a lot of, Russian, friends and interests. My wife is actually Russian. She's from Moscow, and I have a lot of other Russian people in my life, and I know that their main feeling is shame. Shame for what, Russia, is doing. People are burning their passports, just putting lighter fluid on their passports and burning them and expressing a lot of shame and grief and frustration. Feeling that they can't ever go back to, Russia.
It's sad to see that there are some people in the United States who are expressing discrimination against, Russian, people. And of course, it's really hard to tell someone who's, Russian, from someone who's, Ukrainian, like me, because we are speaking the same language, and have the same culture.
The Russians who are here are specifically up left, Russia, they do not want to be covered by that. So, it's very important to not discriminate against them and to be supportive of them.
Myrna: How is the war on, Ukraine, going to affect relations in the future? Is there going to be some hate there between, Ukrainians, and, Russians? Do you think that divide is going to be permanent?
Dr Gleb: Yeah, I think that this divide is going to be there for several generations, because having this situation with just this brutal military conflict, especially some of the terrible, war crimes, coming out of Kharkiv, and other cities. Civilians are being executed with their hands tied up and then being shot. That's a horrible thing. And of course, other terrible things like, rape, and so on, but just the killing of civilians without any particular reason.
So, discovering those things is especially bad and just the shelling of Mariupol killing all those civilians. It that's pretty terrible. I think the scenes especially of the brutal atrocities and, war crimes, in Kharkiv, is going to cause a lot of just hatred for a very long time.
Myrna: So horrible to imagine and witness. Putin, is a, psychopath. He is exactly like Hitler.
Dr Gleb: People like, Putin, who are arrogant, narcissistic, psychopaths, who just feel that they're entitled and they're grandiose and they're ambitious, and they go with their gut. And then they make some pretty bad decisions that may harm all of us.
Myrna: So, what can the US do about, Russia's war in Ukraine? You haven't. You have some advice for the political powers?
Dr Gleb: Sure. So, I think one of the really important things to think about is how are, Ukrainian, citizens dealing with it from a humanitarian perspective, and to support, Ukrainian, citizens from a humanitarian perspective. I think that's very important. And what the United States does now will be remembered for a very long time, because the United States has been in the global eyes, it has been weakened in a number of situations, foreign policy wise.
Let's say what happened in Afghanistan, that doesn't look good and everywhere in Syria, many situations. So, this is a chance for us to redeem ourselves, and to really show that we are the leaders of the free world, and to really provide a model of how the world should act toward, Ukraine, by helping rebuild, Ukraine, is incredibly important.
Right now, Russia, is focusing on, Eastern Ukraine. I think there shouldn't be a lot of efforts to rebuild the, Western Ukraine, at least with something like the Marshall Plan that was instituted after, World War Two, where the United States helped rebuild Europe after it was devastated by World War Two, something like that.
People ask, how much is going to cost? It's definitely going to cost money, but think about the longtime term, the kind of goodwill we will get from all the people in, Ukraine, the people around, Ukraine, in Europe and elsewhere who will see the United States rebuilding a country that was devastated by foreign affairs.
Myrna: The United States, what about all countries in NATO?
Dr Gleb: We're talking about what the United States can do right now. I certainly think the countries in NATO, it would be nice to help, but regardless of what they do, it's very important for us as the leaders of the free world to help rebuild, Ukraine. NATO aren't the leaders of the free world. We are the leaders of the free world.
So, we should model the kind of behavior we want to see. And we should make sure by supporting, Ukraine, and building up, Ukraine, as a democratic country, we should make sure to support democracy around the world, because right now, we're very much facing threats to our democracy. Threats not only from, Russia, but much more importantly, China, other countries that are authoritarian regional countries that are not behaving very well.
And so we want to build up democracy and that means building up, Ukraine, and especially as the war winds down, and of course, at the same time supplying, Ukraine army, which we're currently doing. I think that's great. I think we should continue doing that and build up on top, but I certainly don't think we should put any of our forces in there. I think we should provide them with weapons.
Myrna: The United States is also accepting, Ukrainian refugees.
So, we allow, Putin, to go in and destroy this country, and then somebody else has to rebuild it. How do we stop him from doing it again, or any other country from doing it? Is there a way to stop that? I mean, Putin, should rebuild, Ukraine.
Dr Gleb: For sure, it's easier to destroy than to build. That's first of all, and I think what will prevent him from doing it, again, is the, sanctions, that will degrade, Russia's economy, and ability to build more modern weapons. That's what we need to worry about, about, Russia, having more modern weapons, and by using pretty harsh, sanctions, which I think it would be good if the, sanctions, were ramped up more that will that will punish, Russia, and prevent it from going to war easily. Again, the future will also demonstrate to other countries like China that they should not be invading countries.
If you look at the Chinese messaging, communication, propaganda, they're very much pro-Russian. So, we want to make sure that we have very strong, sanctions, on, Russia, in order to discourage China and other countries from trying anything like this in the future.
Myrna: It is great that, Putin, did not succeed, because if people are still watching it, you know what I mean? It wasn't a successful venture. It was just a very costly venture, destroyed, the whole country, killed innocent people, and he didn't get anything. He didn't possess the land.
Dr Gleb: You absolutely right Myrna that's very important. So, that's coming in part from our military help, which is great. And also, the, sanctions, are helping. We need to keep the, sanctions, but it is very important to rebuild, Ukraine. Nobody will do it if we don't do. And so, this is the crucial thing that I think I want to point out that we really need to work on rebuilding credit. If we want democracy to flourish.
It's very easy to say democracy is great, and it will flourish naturally. But we see that's not the case. China, Russia and many, many other countries are authoritarian. And if we want democracy to win instead of authoritarianism, like in China and Russia, we need to build up democracies after they're devastated by authoritarian states.
I think is really important for to see happen in, Ukraine. On the one hand, I think we definitely want to welcome refugees, Ukrainian refugees. I don't think we should mandatorily support from coming here. So, there's a natural filter system for the only the most capable and dedicated ones coming here because it takes a lot of money to come to United States.
So, we'd not have a program or evacuation like an Afghanistan, where we support people, Ukraine. I think we want to welcome, Ukrainians. And also more controversially, I think we should really want to welcome those, Russians, who are leaving, Russia.
Myrna: How can listeners get in touch with you for, speaking engagements, your book, your articles, your social media handles etc.
Conclusion Putin's War on Ukraine
Dr Gleb: Well, my book “Never go in your Gut” is available on bookstores everywhere and there's an audio book for people who like that. There's digital and physical to check it out, find the normal Amazon, whatever you want. My own resources are going to be at www.disasteravoidanceexperts.com. There's my contact information for all the people who have any questions about anything.
I said that are interested in this sort of engagement, consulting coaching, speaking and so on. There are my blogs, videos, podcasts, audiobooks, ordinary books, online courses, check those out. And there's a free online course and assessment on making dangerous judgment better so to help you avoid those dangerous judgment errors.
