In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility, until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality.
In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction
Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility, into a particle.
Let me explain: when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose. God said
“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.
As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility, We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility. Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer.
The wave, infinite possibility, is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don't need to know math.
I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.
I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex.
So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.
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As James Allen said, As a man thinketh so is he. You become what you think about, so think as a wave and embrace the, infinite possibilities, of your life.
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Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important. We have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can't deal with this and be there for our black families.
Dr Carl decided to write this book and mentor, black fathers, because it is something that the black community needs to get better at. Carl Stokes Jr. is an award-winning social worker, educator, college instructor and recently received his doctorate in education. His dissertation focuses on, Black Fathers, and their perseverance in community colleges. Dr Carl is passionate about working to uplift the black community. He also enjoys teaching, parenting classes, for a small non-profit organization.
Myrna – As a black man tell us your story of your relationship with your, father, and your current relationships with your daughters. I'm curious to know, because a lot of times we work on areas that we have lived through.
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Dr Carl – What's interesting is that my answer is both. I grew up with my, black father, and without my, black father. My dad was in the home until I was about 10 or 11 years old, unfortunately though during that time he had fallen victim to the crack cocaine epidemic of the 80s. So my, father, was in a home; but life was very difficult during that time; because of what he was going through.
However, he was still in the home, there was still benefits of his presence. Then things got really bad to the point where we were basically forced out. I went through that whole period of teenage years and everything without guidance of my, father. So, as an adult, I can see the difference between an, absentee dad, and a, Black father, in the home. Because even though my, father, wasn't at his best, when he was in the home I benefited form him being visible.
Why Black Fathers should be visible to their kids
Myrna – So between the ages of 1 and 10 your dad was in the home; but he even though he couldn't be a, father, because he was under the influence of crack cocaine, what you are saying is that the fact your, father, was in the home; it had some positive effect on you.
Dr Carl – Absolutely! Discipline wise, teaching me how to protect and take care of my mother, because he was gone a lot. He would have conversations with me. It was nice having a, father, to talk to. It was a benefit to me and my younger brother.
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I can sit here and say that I did get lessons from having that male presence in the house. I can also say I also experienced domestic violence and theft. I also experienced run-ins with the police and people from the street and all that. I wouldn't say stick it out regardless, because I just as easily could have went the other way. I was just fortunate enough to take the more positive path.
Why is being a visible Black Father is Important
Myrna – Let's transition to your relationship with your daughters. You have three daughters. How do you parent them knowing that you didn't have a, father, since you were 10 years old?
Dr Carl – Okay, this is where it gets a little bit interesting and sort of complicated, because I became a, black father, at 17 years old. I was a senior in high school, unfortunately because I was so young and because I didn't have the guidance and I was immature, I ended up not handling my, parenting, as a, Black father, the way I should have. My daughter’s mother decided to move to Atlanta Georgia and take my daughter with her.
I didn't know I had rights. I didn't know that I shouldn’t have allowed her to take my daughter without working out any arrangements. The separation caused damage to the relationship between me and my first daughter. When I became a, Black Father, to my other two daughters, I vowed that nothing was going to stop me from being a good dad. Fatherhood, became my absolute top priority.
Myrna – Why is it that traditionally, black fathers, have been absent? We know we've got the crack epidemic, we know we've got prison; but even when none of those circumstances are present, black fathers, still don't make it a priority to parent their children. Why do you think that is the situation?
Dr Carl – We kind of lowered our own expectations as, Black dads. We have very little guidance and then when we put the other things in a mix;
It causes extra stress and strain on, Black fathers, and their relationships with their kids.
Myrna – I actually just started reading Mike Tyson's book “Undisputed Truth”. If you want to hear about a messed up Black family with no role models, this is the book to read. I couldn’t believe all the stuff that Mike Tyson lived through as a child without a, Black father, and an, absentee dad. How can, Black Dads, have a relationship with their kids and a relationship as a husband when all they know is dysfunction?
A Guide for Black Fathers
Why did you write the book “Reclaim your Visibility: A Straightforward Guide for Black Men to Improve Themselves and their Relationship with your Children?
Dr Carl – I wrote this book simply because of this: I got it wrong for many years and I want to assist in the idea of, black fathers, not having to go through being an, absentee dad, and learn from my mistakes. My eldest daughter and I had a very rocky path and I don't want that to go in vain. I don't want to just talk about the plight of, Black Fatherhood, I want to do something about it. If I can help one, Black Father, have a better relationship with their child or children, then it's totally worth it.
Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers
Myrna – What makes your guide book different from all the other, Fatherhood, books?
Dr Carl – I am not the old wise man on top of the mountain talking to the village. The reason why this book is different is I literally started to repair my relationship with my eldest daughter this past summer. So this book is about real life, not theory.
Myrna – A lot of, Black Fathers, are, absentee dads. Do you think that they can repair the damage and build back a relationship with their children?
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Dr Carl – Absolutely! We can't always take it back; but we have to learn from these mistakes and move on. That is the basis of the book and that's why it's called “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children” Because a lot of times, black fathers, need healing ourselves.
How to offer support for Black Father in College
Myrna – You mentioned that you did a doctoral thesis and research on Black Fathers in Colleges. Tell us about that.
Dr Carl – The dissertation is actually on, Black Student Fathers, and their persistence and perseverance in community Colleges. I was a community college, Black Father, with a child and a lot of times, these schools have programs for mothers; but no guidance for, Black Dads. I wanted to do something different and focus on this very specific population, black student fathers, in community college settings.
Dr Carl – In the media piece, I do several things. This is my official company where I do speaking engagements, seminars conferences, trainings and mentoring. The other sides of my books are self-published. I'm also assisting other people to help get their stories out and become published Authors. So the whole Stokes Media concept embodies all those things.
Myrna – Tell our listeners and those watching on YouTube how to contact you and get a copy of your book.
Dr Carl – The easiest way to contact me is to go directly to my website www.drcarlstokesjr.com. You can go right to the contact page and fill out the inquiry form. You can ask questions, leave comments/feedback or whatever you want to do.
Myrna – You also mentor, Black Fathers, at a non-profit organization. Tell us about that.
Dr Carl – I actually do, parenting classes, for an agency here in Buffalo called the “Family Help Center”. So when parents are looking for assistance, I help.
How Co-parenting can help Black Fathers stay visible
Myrna – When you do the, parenting classes, can you walk us through some of your subjects or the things that you talk about? In this conversation we've been focusing on, Black Fathers, but all fathers can benefit from your book and, parenting. What advise would you give them?
Dr Carl – I would say the number one advice I would give to parents is on, co-parenting. I don't care if you don't get along, I don't care if all broke up because he was doing this or doing that. What's important is the child or the children. We have to learn to get along for the sake of the children and be fair to each other for the sake of the children. Your children are witnessing and understanding these arguments, these disagreements, these accusations and things like that.
We tend to think that the kids are stupid and they're not listening to anything. Let me tell you, they're taking in everything, they're taking in how you feel, they're taking in the energy that you're putting out and they are internalizing the things that they're hearing. So, co-parenting, is key especially in our community we have to get that fixed.
What is the message for Black Fathers
Myrna – What is the message that you want them to take away with when they close the book?
Dr Carl – The predominant message of the book if I had to break it down into one main theme, I would say I would want my, black fathers, to understand how important we are to the situation. As a foundation of the family, to us being better as a community as a whole. Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important, we have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can't deal with this.
We have to understand how meaningful it is for us to be around and holding down our families. We hold down our households, our households work together to hold down our neighborhoods, our neighborhoods hold it down together to hold down our communities and it spreads on like that.
We don't need to worry about or hope for everybody else to do this for us, we can do it ourselves; but it starts with us being in the house and visible to our kids. Even if you don't live in the house, I'm just saying the presence of involvement is necessary. Not everybody is going to be together, and that's why we talk about, co-parenting. Our presence is so valuable, we have to make sure that we handle our business as a, black father.
Dr Carl – You can get the book on Amazon Kindle. If you want a signed copy you can get it from me directly at www.drcarlstokesjunior.com.
If anybody wants the Audio book, go to my site www.drcarlstonesjr.com. Order the Audio book and there's a free sample on there.
Enter the code “stay visible2021” and you'll get 25% off of the Audio book.
Conclusion
Black Fathers, are important to the community. Any father is important to the community; but we're concentrating on our community, the black community. Our community is jacked up. Like you said you go to your friend's house and they've got a mom and a dad and food in the kitchen and everybody is getting along. You're not outside throwing things at each other and having the police come by and all that which is a lot of which is the lifestyle of some children in the, black community.
Shout out to my Atlanta audience. Hopefully your daughter can listen on the radio WDJY 99.1 FM.
I want to encourage you guys if you're watching us on YouTube to please subscribe. We're trying to grow our channel because it's much more exciting to actually see the person that I'm interviewing. So, if you're watching on YouTube, kindly subscribe so you'll be able to get the new videos as they come out every week.
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If you're in iTunes, please read and review because that allows us to grow our audience as well. I also have a Facebook group called Life Coach. I invite you guys all to join.
Using the, energy healing, power of, Reiki, allows you to cause an effect in your life instead of reacting to cause and effect!
Listen to the full interview here:
I was listening to a podcast episode with Dr Joe Dispenza a few weeks back and he was talking about his events where people heal themselves from incurable diseases by changing their energy and accessing the, healing energy, of the quantum field.
He shared a story of a woman who had a stroke two years ago which according to the medical journals is one year and 10 months past the time for damaged brain cells to regenerate. This woman healed her brain and body through meditation. She tapped into, quantum energy, and healed her body.
Dr Dispenza says this is the Time in history when it is not enough to know, it is a time in history to know how.
How to Use the, Healing Energy, of, Reiki
Information stimulates thought, and fosters new connections in our brain.
Said another way, Information creates awareness and awareness is consciousness.
You can't have consciousness without energy.
Nobody changes anything until they change their energy.
In this episode of the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life radio and podcast, Life Coach, Myrna Young and Social Worker and Mental Health Counselor, Arifah Yusuf, want to expand your consciousness on changing your energy to Change your life using, Reiki, energy and just changing your thoughts.
Instead of living by cause and effect, we want to teach you how to Cause an Effect!
Here is a story on how one woman used, Reiki, energy healing, to Transform her mind and body .
In 1985 Tori’s life started falling apart. Her baby was only 4 months old, in hospital suffering with lung problems, her husband was fighting for our country and the icing on the cake she was involved in a serious car accident with her oldest son who was 4 years old and in the car with her at the time of the accident. He suffered serious head injuries and she was in a coma for 72 hours.
When she came out of the coma, she felt this overwhelming guilt that she could not be there with her child to comfort him in the hospital.
She says everything she believed in, came to a sudden end. Hope was lost. She endured months and months of rehabilitation for not only her oldest son but for herself as well. Her 6 month old baby took was still suffering with lung problems so all these events took it's toll on her family.
One afternoon while paging through a magazine her eye fell on a story about, Reiki. Up until this time, she had never heard of alternative or, energy healing, and found the article most interesting and informative.
Both her children as well as herself were in great need of, energy healing.
She did some research and enrolled in, Reiki, 1 and then followed that with, Reiki, level 2.
She says, Reiki, has been an absolute life saver for her and her children. With the support of, Reiki, and , energy healing, on all levels – body, mind and spirit she is grateful for the complete recovery of both herself and her sons.
Reiki, Energy Healing session from, Reiki Therapist
During this, energy healing, session my, Reiki Therapist, first cleaned the energy out of the room, then she funneled my, energy healing, up through my head. My head got so hot it was dripping with sweat. The sweat was not just on my face but under my hair.
Typically the person receiving, Reiki, energy healing, will lie down on a massage table, fully clothed. The, Reiki Therapist, would then either place hands on the client or place their hands slightly above the client’s body, but still within their energy field. Client’s often express that they feel warm, tingling sensations during a session.
When I came out of that session, I felt so good and I had clarity in my life.
The, Reiki, stories I just shared require advanced knowledge. I wanted to share to illustrate what is possible. But I want to share with you today how you too can transform your life by transforming your, Reiki energy, by just changing your thoughts.
You may be waiting your whole entire life to get the good breaks, to get the love of your life, the career you dream about, the home you dream about and you tell yourself that when I get these things I will be happy.
Unfortunately, thoughts of lack create more lack.
The trick is to begin to condition your, energy healing, and feel like you already have all those things. This is hard to do and takes a lot of visualization exercise. And if you are auditory like me almost a hat trick! But this is the secret to getting all you desire.
Arifah, from the mental health space do you help your clients to condition their minds and improve their, Reiki energy, body? How do you get someone who is feeling angry, depressed, insignificant to get to joy and gratitude?
I created a wellness daily action plan that I share with clients to help them condition their minds and improve their energy. It includes, journaling food and water intake, as well writing down priorities, 3 things they are grateful for and quotes or music that make them feel motivated to get active. We also focus on things that have brought joy in the past, such as achievements/moments of gratitude.
During my sessions with clients I also teach a few different breathing exercises for the optimization of mind-body, energy healing, and mindfulness exercises to help clear the mind and focus on the present. I also ask them to reflect and write down what they admire or love about themselves and a proud moment, it’s a great way to bring focus back to milestones and connect to what has worked in the past and what they need to do in the present to boost their, Reiki energy, and find their purpose.
Most the times, my clients are impacted by overthinking and challenges in their own lives, I try to remind them that we all go through this, but in those moments you have to focus on what you are willing to let go and what you want to change, making this decision alone will help increase your, Reiki energy, as you may feel a weight lifted, and a sense of freedom and new direction.
For example, recently my friend was told that her timing was coming and she needed to start preparing to leave this world. She prepared her mind mentally using, Reiki, methods and began to get her affairs in order and say her farewells. She planned her memorial to celebrate the life she lived, and thank everyone for being a part of her journey. She also thanked her lungs, heart and other organs for helping her live until she was almost 40.
In her farewell letter, she mentioned to seize every opportunity, live life to the fullest, forgive, take risks if your heart is in it and have gratitude. I feel blessed to be reminded every time that we need to focus our, Reiki energy, to build ourselves up and others, if something is bringing you down, find a solution or let go.
Getting outside can have an effect on mood and because you are exposed to the boundless, Reiki energy, that exist in nature. Feeling the sun on your face is just one way to draw in some of the vital, Reiki, energy that comes from your environment, as well bonding socially with people that are positive
I do a powerful meditation that helps me condition my, energy healing. It is not, Reiki, but it gives me clarity.
Remember You can't attract anything good if you don't feel good.
We have to Stop telling the story of our past and start telling the story of our future. As humans we were given the gift of imagination and the beauty of imagination is that our creator added a bonus. He hard wired our brain to not be able to tell the difference between imagination and the real thing. So day dream copiously!
Cause an effect in your life instead of reacting to cause and effect!
Your thoughts produce an electrical charge and feelings produce a magnetic charge.
How you think and how you feel broadcasts, quantum energy, fields that influences every atom in your life.
Thoughts send the signal out and feelings draw it back.
So when you imagine you already have your dream house, your dream man, living in abundance you think and feel good, that engages the law of attraction and draws these things to you.
Visualization of your story Past, Present, Future: Accessing, Reiki Energy
Tell the story of how You want your life to be and repeat it until you become it and your subconscious mind picks it up and manifests it.
Visualization exercise: 5 Ways to use Change your Life by Changing your Thoughts
You are relaxing at the beach and notice two chairs in a distance. You decide to walk over to the chairs and investigate. As you get closer the person sitting in the chair begin to look familiar. You recognize your future self 5 years from now.
You have realizing all your goals and living a perfect life.
One chair is empty so you sit in this chair opposite and begin to interview your future self.
Question 1:
How did you overcome a challenge you face today?
What action steps did you take?
Question 2:
What beliefs did you let go of to have this perfect life?
Question 3:
What makes you feel proud?
Question 4:
What new habits did you acquire?
Question 5:
What part of your story excites you?
Arifah how does the mental health counselor teach visualization?
Most of the time, when I am working with clients I will play a visualization recording or read one out loud for clients to focus on. For example, I love the exercise 54321 that focuses on connecting back to the present using your 4 senses. I also, have an exercise I call memory play back, where I have clients visualize a time and place in their life they remember feeling joy, and have them share details about that day out loud while their eyes are closed.
There are many visualization and guided imagery exercises that are in self help books and credible sites online, that people can use to practice when feeling overwhelmed. I always tell clients to ensure they practice visualization in a safe space, where they feel comfortable and can focus.
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Additional Resources for, Reiki, and Energy Healing
We all know that there's a lot of, tension, right now in the world. We can't even just say America because this is a global pandemic. There's a lot of uncertainty so living with, intention, relieves stress.
A few weeks ago I was looking at these large groups and wondering If I would ever again be comfortable at a concert or a parade with thousands of people? Will our consciousness around this, tension, be changed forever?
Listen to the full interview
Introduction Intentional living in the Tension
So how do we traverse this, tension, with, intention? We shouldn't always just react, we should have some, intention.
Meanwhile, one of the things I also want to mention is, intentional living. Some people are have the, intention, to live intentionally. The people who practice, intentional living, are called, minimalists. What, minimalists, do for intentional living is they intentionally live with few possessions. They do that because, intentional living, with only the items that support your purpose, is one of the ways to live with, intention. So, minimalists, are saying “we don't need all this stuff, we're getting rid of all this junk and we're going to practice, intentional living.
Minimalists, made me remember or think about the tiny homes movement.
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Just as a diamond represents itself using the 4C’s, we dedicate ourselves to a 4C business model.
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-collaborative and creative approach
You focus on your recovery.
We focus on collecting the check!
Give The Law Offices of Janica L. Campbell a call today.
Thane Marcus Ringler, is a former professional golfer turned speaker, writer and development coach living in Denver Colorado with his wife, Evan. Thane's mission is to help others live and work better. He's passionate about speaking to the journey from the journey and is striving to empower this generation to take ownership of their lives and never settle for less than they're capable of.
Thane is the host of the “Up and Comers” show – a podcast all about the process of becoming and, intentional living, while sharing stories from other inspiring Up and Comers. Find out more about Thane and his work on, intention, in the, tension, by visiting him on the web.
Alright, I'm going to digress a little bit from the normal start to my interviews, because, I love your podcast the Up and Comers show because I love stories. Stories are a good way to teach as you said; you do stories on, living intentionally. Do you follow the format of the American life podcast? They perfected storytelling and became the first popular podcast.
Thane – Thanks for asking. It's been a really fun journey of about four years now. Obviously when you do something for that length of time, it changes a lot as you do it. It kind of shifts and iterates into different forms; but ultimately it was mirrored off of similar shows like the Tim Ferriss show or even the Joe Rogan experience. In that, they're long-form interviews that are more of a dance than a system, with the length of time being on average with interviews around 90 minutes.
It allows someone's story to really be told. People that are, living intentionally, like you said earlier, in this, tension, because I think that is the big difference between, intentional living, and maybe normal living.
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Myrna – Yes, I love hearing how we can do, intentional living. Whether it's intentional for personal growth which is basically my, intention, learning something every day and not to be reactive, living intentionally.
Thane – Everyone does have a story to tell and I think those are really fun to hear from other people mine. I grew up in Kansas, the Central heartland of America and ended up going to California for college, spent about 10 years out there in LA. Vastly different cultures just socially and interacted with a lot of different peoples within that timeframe. I did play golf.
My whole life I was an athlete and competitor; I ended up getting to play about four years professionally, that was a really neat journey. I felt very blessed to have that opportunity in the second half of my career when I faced that injury that repeated about five times over a year and a half that sidelined me for a lot of it. That was very frustrating; but also diversified my interests.
During that time, I started the podcast with a buddy of mine. Thereafter, I started on my journey of writing the book that you talked about last time. From Here to There was my first book and that was really about the experience of playing golf. My whole life in a high level taught me about how to pursue excellence in any field and then from that I kind of went on building a speaking career and pursuing more opportunities as a speaker.
That was a really neat adventure. This coaching practice has kind of been the main focus outside of professional golf for the last three years, working with individuals on personal and professional development.
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Using the power of intention to get unstuck in life
A lot of times that involves three types of people:
People who are stuck and want to get unstuck.
Some who are transitioning or starting something on the side and want help with finding the right path to follow or even the feedback that they need to hear on how they can develop to set themselves up for success.
Then, finally people who want to level up in their work or in their lives and need some extra accountability and objectivity to do that.
That's been a really fulfilling process for me, I help people live with, intention. Playing golf I was more focused on myself and not other people. Most recently, this year I got married at the start of COVID and moved to Denver where my wife and I now live, and that's been a really sweet transition even though so much change is going on in our world. We've definitely experienced a lot of that even personally.
This fall, I'm really excited. In November, the two online courses I’ve been building are going to be finally released and that's been the next chapter that I’m really excited about.
Myrna – So, how does the, power of intention, help when you're stuck, afraid alone like many of us during this pandemic?
One of the areas that you mentioned that you coach is helping people who are in the stuck place in life. I would probably think that most of the people that are coming into the life coaching conversation is stuck somewhere, right?
Well as humans, we all are to some extent constantly either stuck in a circular movement. Usually that means digressing or decaying in some way where we're growing, we're moving forward and there's really in between there's no sitting on the fence in the middle of those two sides, at least not for very long. I like to think, as humans, I think our natural default if we don't make a choice is to go down the path of least resistance and not live with, intention.
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So, if we don't choose, living intentionally, we're going to be going downhill. Our brains are designed that way. In order to go upstream or the path of most resistance, we have to have effort and, intention, which is ultimately discipline. Discipline is effort, and, intention, is saying “I’m going to choose to go upstream and I’m going to put forth the effort to do so by rowing or whatever the illustration”.
I struggled with this idea that in practicing, there's a practice and performance mentality. I think this would be helpful for what we're talking about. Here, the practice mentality is saying “I’m going to hold myself to a higher standard with, intention.” I think I can achieve, intention, because of practice. It's okay to fail in practice because, there are no consequences; but I’m going to try to reach a level that I didn't even think I can reach”.
That's good training for, intentional living. When we come to a performance, if we maintain that mindset and we keep failing to reach that super high level we start beating ourselves up – like “Oh! You suck, you aren't good enough, you're never going to get there, and you’re never going to perform.
Thane – What we are speaking about is self-awareness. A lot of times, having a self-awareness to know what we need ourselves – means we need to understand ourselves. I think the three primary tools of self-awareness are journaling and reflecting which is just sitting with a pen and paper. Now looking back on a situation or a day or a moment or our lives and understanding it more clearly. That’s feedback, you're thinking about having a person in your life whether it be a coach, mentor, family member, a close friend or confidant who can help you see more objectively; because we are inherently subjective.
Then there is meditation, just being able to sit in the present moment and remove the distractions that cloud our vision and by using those three primary tools. We get way better at seeing ourselves clearly, so that we can steer ourselves better and live with, intention.
Myrna – Self-awareness and meditation, that's awesome.
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What does it mean to live with, intention in the, tension?
Myrna – When I researched, intentions, what came up was Justin Bieber's song –intentions, he's talking about shower you with my, attention. These are my only, intentions. So, let's dive in and talk about these, intentions, in the, tension.
Thane – The, intention, is really the reason behind what we do. So, intentional living, is just infusing a why, a reason or purpose into our daily lives, our daily thoughts or daily actions. Again, it doesn't happen by chance. We don't default into this, we have to choose it and so a lot of it really revolves around purpose and identity. In the whole phrase, intention, in the, tension, my co-founder of the podcast; Adam Setzer came up with that term.
I think it's just a catchy phrase to show that in life we face, tensions, we all know this very well right now in the COVID 19 pandemic. There are people that are on the one side of the, tension, (always wear masks). And there are people saying, “no don't ever wear masks.” Everyone's at a different place, some are following President Trump saying this pandemic is nothing and it would go away and some people are so fearful, they stay home, because there's a lot of, tension.
So, those are just two myriads are the more permanent or pressing right now; but every single day we have, tension, that we face even from exercise.
Tension during the COVID 19 Pandemic
Try getting married during COVID, like I did. You have, tension, as a newly married couple during COVID 19. The point of, tensions, isn't to pick a side and then just rest on that side. A lot of times with, the power of intention, the best place to be is in the middle, in the gray, in the messy, tension. By choosing a side, we eliminate the, tension, but really that isn't the best place to be.
The best place is to be in the middle. When we're living in the, tension, we have to infuse, intention, and a purpose or reason. Why? So that we can be able to see both sides with some fairness, with some objectivity without camping out and saying okay I’ve already made my mind. I already know everything and I’ve already arrived. That is never true for any of us in life, so a lot of it revolves around recognizing that there are, tensions, and then understanding our purpose and our identity.
Myrna – There's a lot going on right now. Everybody is talking about how divorce rates has just shot up, because people are forced to be together with, tension. There's a lot of, tension, because there's no outlets; but I like what you said, I’m a Christian and I was just finished reading this really fabulous book, Think like a Monk by Jay Shetty and one of the things I learned from that book is that we don’t always get back the love from the people we give it to.
Jay Shetty shared a story when he was in this monk. He's complained to the senior monk that he was giving all this out this service and love and he was not getting anything back. Then, the senior monk told him that a lot of times when you give out love, you don't get it back from the same people but the universe always send it back.
So, we are giving out love to let's say a spouse or children or something and we're expecting it back; but love like Jesus said love your enemy as your friend. You should know that the foundation of the Bible is ALL LOVE. It's not necessary that you’re going to love somebody that loves you. If you love your enemy, then obviously they don't love you back.
So, if you have the, intention, that you're going to love unconditionally and maybe it's will boomerang back to you, even if it's not from this person; but you're going to get it back somehow. That actually makes it easier.
Hope and the Power of Intention
Myrna – What do you think helps us live full of hope and live with, intention, in 2020?
Thane – HOPE, as you earlier mentioned is I believe, readily available for anyone at any time. I think hope is the fuel that comes from just reframing our perspective on things. When your perspective is simply your view of a situation, an object or yourself and guess what that can be viewed from many different places, hope in 2020 as you rightly said is something that more and more people are feeling hopeless.
I think it starts just by reframing our perspective. My book “Catalyst for Hope”. It's really just talking about four catalysts or four simple perspectives that I’ve found to unlock a lot of hope in my life.
We can always do this and it’s very simple. The fact that we are all in process that has not finished yet, is not over. We get to keep going forward and we get to keep moving. We still have a choice and a chance to live, breathe and do work in this world. Be a part of the change we wish to see.
In conclusion
Myrna – Tell us about your online courses, you told me you have two of them. One is “Growing Self-awareness” and we have talked about that, which is great. Another word for Self-awareness is “Consciousness”.
I thought I heard something the other day about one of those books – Think like a Monk that he mentioned, that consciousness is the biggest way to live with, intention. I mean it's a word that everybody throws around and nobody knows what it is. However, self-awareness and consciousness is like hope. What I mean is, if you practice it and you live in it, then it's the biggest thing that you can do in your life.
The other book title is “Developing Discipline”. Of course, as a professional golfer discipline is big. Discipline is the most fundamental component of being a good leader. Meanwhile, being a good leader starts always with self leadership, you have to be able to lead yourself well before you can lead others.
Thane – I'm all about growing self leadership for myself and for others. These two courses, I believe are going to help with self-awareness and discipline being fundamental aspects. In the two courses, what people can expect is they're both eight-week courses and so it's self-directed meaning – if you want to go faster or slower, you can.
I recommend eight weeks and that's how it's set up because it gives us enough time to really put these things into practice. Then thereafter, start shifting our identity and the way we see ourselves with these things so we can start saying I'm not just pursuing discipline, I am a disciplined person and that's the shift that we want to make in those eight weeks.
The purpose of the, soul, is to guide us to our purpose. Every, soul, came into a body with a purpose. You can accelerate your, souls purpose, by clearing the, money blocks, you had from childhood.
Jennifer Longmore is a leading authority on, soul, purpose as well as an elite business coach to enlightened entrepreneurs. She is a sought after media personality, three times best-selling author and is known for her laser-like clarity on seeing into the depths of your, soul, for more than 15 years. She has served clients in permanently shifting their limiting beliefs and patterns that prevent them from being who they truly are, so they can accelerate their, souls, journey.
Listen to the full interview Here:
Myrna: I am excited to talk to you today, because I've been spending some conscious moments thinking of my, soul.
How Did you become a, soul, whisperer?
I grew up, I guess you could say prophetic. I always knew things were going to happen before they happened. If the phone rang and someone said something, I was usually telling my parents 10-15 minutes before that so-and-so called and they said A, B and C, and then sure enough that person would call and say those things.
I guess you could say I am Claircognizant, because I would just know that it was going to happen. I couldn't tell you why I knew, in fact I didn't even know I was telling people anything they didn't know. That's actually how I went through school, freaking people out. I didn't know who to be. I would tell people things, and I would freak them out. I'm also a truth teller and I do that with love. I definitely speak my mind, call out injustices and so on. I was kind of doubly offending people without realizing it.
Myrna: I like that word “truth teller”, we always say direct communicators – that's what I call myself; but truth teller sounds nicer.
Jennifer: It depends. I mean some people like it when they're ready to hear the truth. They like it when you're telling them something they want to hear. It's usually around relationships I find where people don't particularly like the truth. They have questions like. I just met someone at a bar, is this my soul mate?
I knew from a very young age what my purpose was and was to help people on their, soul journey; but I also needed to feel safe enough and supportive enough to live with this gift.
Myrna: So you were born with a gift – the gift of being able to see things before it happened. I'm thinking when I say the, soul, I'm using the traditional definition of it. I was listening to an audio book the other day and they said that there are different several names or labels for the, soul. some say the, subconscious, some call it the, super conscious; but it is the part of our non-physical that never dies. Is that what we're talking about when you say, soul?
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Jennifer: Yes the, soul, we are referring to is our non physical or spiritual part of a human being that gives life to it.
Myrna: What do you think the purpose of the, soul, is? You mentioned the fact that you were not connected to any religion. But every religion talks about the, soul, because it's eternal. It's not tied to any religion. How did you connect to your, soul? How did you bridge between connecting to the, soul, from what was happening to you? Being able to know things before they happened?
Jennifer: I think the purpose of the, soul, is to guide us to our purpose. Every, soul, came into a body with a purpose. When I was younger, I wouldn't have been able to tell you about my, soul. My maternal grandfather was a psychic medium. He used to solve crimes for the police, and my mom's very intuitive. My dad was very intuitive. I think it's just we're all intuitive.
How does understanding your, soul purpose, help clients shift their limiting beliefs?
I think what's going on in the world right now, it's kind of hard not to feel really compelled to make sure that we are using our purpose to the fullest. I even consulted with my astrologer recently, and I said I want to make sure I use every ounce of my purpose that I came here to deliver. I want you to learn whatever I came here to learn. I want to be give back in whatever way I can. So I think even before the pandemic, we were spending our time asking does my life matter? Why am I here? Does my life have meaning?
So this is how I help my clients find their purpose and why they are here. As a, soul, whisperer, I can see what they can't see. I didn't plan on being a business coach when I first started. I was doing readings, I was teaching other people how to do readings. I was so successful because someone like me is always going to be successful.
What I came to realize is that most people, when they discover their, souls purpose, it is so unique that the best way to express it is through a business. The business is just the portal, it's just the gateway, it's just the vehicle to be able to share our gifts with the world and be compensated.
Once someone has a relationship with me and they trust me, I not only show them some of the different ways that they can express those gifts; but I help them with their mindset; because I feel mindset is a big reason why people don't have success.
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If you don't have the correct mindset, all the business plans in the world, all of the marketing and the Facebook ads, we still have this really sneaky way of sabotaging ourselves. I really like reminding people what their potential is and then helping them find the easiest path to live their potential and express their potential in the world.
Myrna: That's beautiful because really if we were to tap into the, soul, it is limitless. That's one of the beautiful things about the, soul, or super consciousness or your subconscious it's limitless. So tapping into it's potential is a good thing.
How to accelerate your, Souls, Journey by removing your, Money Blocks
You just mentioned mindsets and one of the questions I have here is about, money blocks. Let's combine the two. You said that you can teach somebody things and they can have all the strategy in the world; but if their mindset is limited or they have a belief that maybe money is evil or if they achieved success then they wouldn't be good parents. All kinds of, money blocks, are in their head. Are you able to see these, money blocks?
Jennifer: I can see it right away. Right away as soon as someone's talking to me. I'll have a client describe their business to me and in 30 seconds, I can tell why they're not where they want to be. I don't know why it's just I've talked to so many people, tens of thousands of people at this point. So it starts to become a pattern and we all have, money blocks.
We all have a money story, it's not about judging the money story, it's our goal to have a healthy money story. You can have a healthy money story with a hundred dollars in the bank or you can have an unhealthy money story with a billion dollars in the bank. I've served a client who had 100 million dollars net worth and she was probably the biggest pain in the bum that I've worked with.
She didn't trust everyone, she felt everyone was out to screw her, everyone else was out to take her money. She had no peace. That's not financial freedom; if you don't have the peace with the money that you've worked so hard to accumulate. I've talked with billionaires and they've said look, like I have money pains too, my money pains are just different because I've created a lot of jobs, a lot of people depend on me for their livelihood.
They tell me, I'm always worried that I'm going to drop the ball and I'm going to implode my business and then I'm going to be destitute and 500 other people are going to be without a job. So they just have different, money blocks.
Money is just a magnifier for what's already there. How do you have peace when you keep waiting for someone to come and take your money? I had a colleague of mine who didn't pay her taxes for seven years. You're allowed up to seven years where I live not pay your Federal taxes before they start to audit you? Not only did they come and audit her; but because they needed to audit her, they froze all of her accounts including her Stripe Account and her Paypal account.
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She had no money to access while they investigated her. Her, money blocks, were so resistant to looking money in the eyes. When we do taxes, we have to look money in the eyes. This is our biggest issue and most of us don't want to be in conversation with money.
We literally don't want to pull up a screen and see what's in our bank account. We don't want to see what's coming in or what's going out and when we're not willing to look money in the eyes, we can't have a healthy relationship with our money.
How to Clear your, Money Blocks
Most of us tend not do that and so every activity in our business that requires us to look money in the eyes like sending an invoice, receiving an invoice, chasing someone for money, paying for a room to rent, hiring a team member etc. There's so many conversations around money every single day in our business that if we don't learn how to look money in the eyes and treat it like a friend and act like it's a part of our dream team that wants to help our dreams come true, then we're going to be working way harder than we need to work.
Myrna: I love that one.
Treat, your money like part of your dream team!
I heard a financial analyst talking about, money blocks; but she was talking about, money blocks, based on things like when your mother said “money don't grow on trees”. You just got into detail of some really high level blocks about not being able to look at money, not being able to have a relationship with money, or look money in the eye that's really high level.
Even about when people are billionaires and they still have money issues; because now they have no peace. They think everybody is out to get them, so that is high level, money block.
So would you put, money blocks, and limiting beliefs in the same bucket or is it different?
I think the same blocks that we have around money would at the core of how worthy we feel.
How deserving do I feel?
Do I feel I can succeed in life and business?
We tend to take our, money blocks, cues from our parents. If our parents were working class or they struggled or they had a business and that business failed.
Sometimes we have a really hard time out-succeeding the people that are important to us, even our mentors. There are a lot of people that feel like it's disrespectful to out-grow their mentors.
What is the Souls Imprint?
Myrna: I was listening to a podcast recently and the founder of Mindvalley, his name is Vishen. He talked about coaching people on their, souls imprint. So is our, souls imprint, different from our, souls purpose?
I would say our, souls purpose, is what did we come here to learn and do.
What did we come here to master?
What do we come here to contribute?
Our, souls imprint, might be worded something like what's our, soul, essence. Some people just carry this frequency of truth for example so they can't help it. If there's shady stuff going on in a room or in a business or something like, their, souls imprint, can't let them ignore it.
I have had jobs that within the first month, I was able to pick out whatever was out of integrity. It would just come to the surface. My, souls imprint, had this way of vacuuming it out of the shadows. It's not like I was trying to reveal anything; I didn't even know it was there.
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Well similar to the looking money in the eyes, write a letter to yourself or your business.
Start like this – I love you; but stop what you are doing. I'm not having any fun with you anymore. Create an avatar of the person you are speaking to. This person could be your dad or a parent who influenced your, money blocks.
My dad was always there physically; but he wasn't there emotionally which is not an uncommon experience for a lot of us; because men were taught to not be emotionally unavailable. After writing my letter, I had this huge epiphany like, oh my goodness, I am expecting my business to be like my dad!
I had no idea that my subconscious block was being projected onto the consciousness of my business; because everything has consciousness. Then I thought okay, well my business makes money so what would happen if I wrote a letter to money? I did and the same thing revealed itself. I realized money's always been there for me. I'll ask for it and it shows up for me.
Money is always there for me; but I don't feel connected to it. My dad isn't always showing up when I write letters to money, sometimes it's someone that bullied me in my past. Sometimes it's a boss that I really hated, sometimes it's my mom.
It can be whoever is responsible for your, money blocks, because our body has a consciousness and our business has a consciousness. This imprints on whatever we're unconsciously projecting onto it. So the only way we can shift our perceptions is to create a new relationship with money. Become aware of the relationship we're already having with it, that we don't even know. Once we bring awareness to something, then we can heal and shift.
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How can readers get in touch with you for Business Coaching and, Soul Purpose, Sessions?
I don't do, soul purpose, sessions anymore; but I do offer that within business coaching . Readers can head over to my website www.souljourneys.ca/soul, I have a FREE GIFT for your listeners and readers. It is a checklist of the nine most important questions to ask yourself to get in alignment with your, soul purpose.
Then I go much more deeply into the work that I do. They can also connect with me by signing up for my daily inspirational emails. I send little intuitive love bombs basically every day as an email when people sign up for that.
If you liked this content please subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes, iHeart radio, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Please also post a review.
To me the most important thing about that Ted talk, the reason I did that talk has over 20 million views is because I struggled with, self-confidence. I had to, build self-confidence so I sat on the bench of a soccer team. I got kicked out of University. When you grow up as a black man in a white man's world, you're always not feeling like you're quite up to it. ~ Dr Ivan Joseph
Dr Ivan Joseph was born in Guyana, South America, my birth country. He immigrated to Toronto, Canada at the age of 5. I immigrated to Toronto, Canada as well but at the age of 17. As he became a young man of color, he often felt disenfranchised and disconnected. But he excelled in sports and attended a small University in Iowa on an athletic scholarship, then achieved his Master’s Degree, and a PhD in psychology. This lead to him becoming a professor, AND being awarded Coach of the Year. For ten years he was the Director of Athletics for Ryerson University in Toronto, and spearheaded the 100 million dollar renovation of the iconic Maple Leaf Gardens. Dr Ivan is now the Vice Provost of Student Affairs at Dalhousie University, one of Canada's most distinguished and competitive institutions. ”
Introduction to, Self-Confidence Definition
Self-confidence definition, is the genuine belief in your ability to accomplish the task at hand. Everybody needs to understand that you may have all the talent in the world, you may be the most beautiful person in the world, the smartest person in the world, the strongest person in the world; but if you don't have this genuine belief that you have that skill, you will never put your hand up to answer the question in the math class or sit on the board, or volunteer to be the do the presentation, or choose to join the team.
Myrna – What was your journey from an immigrant boy and a man of color and then transcending that to becoming a doctor, a performance coach, a Tedx speaker, an author?
Dr Ivan – l think like many immigrants who come to North America whether that be your audience, that's American or my audience that's Canadian, we all choose to leave our countries of birth for hopefully a better future.
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There's something that's grounded in all of us that chose the country of citizenship and that is a desire to achieve. We were not comfortable or we were not content with what we had and discontent drives us. That desire is to be better and to pay it forward for our families. Those parents who are immigrants who grew up as kids, we are drilled with that constant mantra you need to be twice as good. It's not good enough to be average, you need to get an A.
You could end up internalizing that message where you're never quite good enough and that is where a lack of, self-confidence, gets rooted. Great jobs will pass you by because you don’t have the, self-confidence, to go after it. So you're pushed to the corners or to the edges of society. You start to not achieve what you may have achieved if you had, self-confidence, whether that's from your own internal belief or from society.
All of us will fail in life at some time. When you fail, you hang on to that failure and it becomes paralyzing. You're then not willing to take the next risk to achieve. It took me many strikeouts, to use my sports analogies, or swinging and missing to succeed. With every success I , build self-confidence, was tapped up.
How do we, Build Self-confidence?
Myrna – As I was preparing mentally for this interview I asked myself how I, build self-confidence? I think I have been, self-confident, all my life and I was wondering how I, build self-confident, and my own response was that life experience was my confidence builder. If somebody tells you that you're good at something or somebody tells you you're pretty or you get good grades in school, you start, building self-confidence, that you can do most things.
Dr Ivan – One of the things about, build self-confidence, is the more you achieve the more it grows. The more you achieve the bigger it gets. You'll get your opportunity, you'll get your promotion and then you start all over and your, self- confidence, will wane.
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How Does, Build Self-confidence, Equal High Performance?
Myrna – So let's transition to our, build self-confidence, topic.
Why do you believe, building self-confidence, optimism, grit, and resilience are fundamental skills in achieving high performance goals?
Dr Ivan – If you don't believe in yourself, you will not put yourself in front of anybody and risk failure. So the genuine belief is the foundational cornerstone of success. We can all outwork and learn to do whatever we want, given enough time; but if we're not willing, really willing to put ourselves out there, it doesn't matter how talented we are.
Myrna – I understand not having the, self-confidence, to do a job or not having the, self- confidence, that you're gonna win the race or not having the, confidence, when you're down 20 points in the fourth quarter and have the, confidence, that you can still win because I've seen that happen.
But what I don't understand is why women can be beautiful, have a great body and don't have the, self-confidence, that they can walk in a room and own it. Instead they don't project anything, they don't protect any energy. They want to be in the corner, and then you have the woman who is not by standards attractive; but she walks in a room and she feels that she's got it and you know she gets the guys. Because guys think that, self-confidence, is sexy.
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Why do we Lack, Self-confidence?
Dr Ivan – Well I'll never comment on a woman's appearance or looks. What I would say that anybody whether it's a female or a male or an athlete or a young girl or a young man. It's the measuring stick that they're using to measure themselves against. This is key. If I'm measuring myself up to Denzel Washington, I may never feel like I'm good enough. It's human nature to always be in competition and in comparison with others. Whether it's the Joneses next door, whether it's what you did last week, we are always looking at how we compare and stack up.
So your message to the young woman who may not be attractive, or the gentleman who may not be as smart, or the person who doesn't think they have as much as the next person; you can't tell them they are attractive or smart, they won't believe it.
This is why we have to start with this genuine belief and, self-confidence. We'll call this maladaptive perfectionism. This is when you have an unrealistic understanding of what perfectionism is or excellence is and you chase that almost impossible thing.
Myrna – What about optimism and the gift of resilience to achieve, high performance goals?
Dr Ivan – Optimism and, build self-confidence, takes you to the next level. You believe that you can make it. You're, confident, you may have setbacks, you may fail or flounder; but this is where grit comes into play. Grit, is the genuine belief in your ability to accomplish the task despite setbacks.
The only way to develop, grit, in order to achieve your goals is to experience failure. There is no other way to grow, grit, and resilience than to sit and be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
So many people out there won't ever achieve, because they are so caught up with the embarrassment of failure.
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How to, Build Self-Confidence, Resilience and Grit
Dr Ivan – One of the first things you have to recognize is that your thoughts influence your beliefs which influence your actions. It's this whole cyclical self-fulfilling prophecy. What you tell yourself you become, so you gotta stop the negative talk like:
Oh my God I look terrible in this dress.
or I'm never going to get this Job
Or I'm not as smart as these folks
I can't do this, I'm no good
We keep saying these things to ourselves and they beat us up, so you got To Stop the negative talk.
3 Centering Mantras to, Build Self-Confidence.
In my book I teach some centering exercises to help stop the negative self talk and, build self-confidence
Positive statements or mantras help replace the negative self talk.
Replace the negative self talk with a positive statement or an affirmation e.g
I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate.
Nobody outworks me,
I can learn anything.
Mantras to, Build self-confidence:
1 – “MY TIME IS TOO VALUABLE TO WASTE IT WORRYING ABOUT THE THINGS I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER.”
2 – “THE OUTER IS ALWAYS A REFLECTION OF THE INNER.”
3 – “I TAKE NOTHING PERSONALLY.”
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If you're an entrepreneur, affirmations lead to a 36 to 37 percent increase in revenue.
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Myrna – I'm a big believer in positive self-talk. I fluctuate back and forth about affirmations; but I know as a Life Coach, that you should speak it until you believe it. Sooner or later if you keep on speaking it, you will start to believe it.
Dr Ivan – In sports we call it the as if principle. Act as if you already have it.
Myrna – How can we , build self-confidence, and develop a winner's mindset?
How, Building Self-confidence, contributes to a Winners Mindset
Dr Ivan – I think a, winner's mindset, and, self-confidence, go hand in hand. I'll flip your question around and say, build self-confidence, helps you build a winner's mindset.
Write a letter to yourself about all the things you're great at. There's going to be times when you feel like you can't do it and you need to change that. Take that letter and read it to yourself and whatever that letter says congratulate yourself on it’s accomplishment.
Write that letter to yourself because, there will be times when people tell you you can't do it.
When you feel like you can't do it, that, winner's mindset, will be turned on. The other way to build that, winner's mindset, is to be careful and be intentional about the company you choose.
Myrna – I know personally that will work because how did we start off our conversation?
Saying that, self-confidence, comes from past experience.
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Tell us about your book “You've got this: Mastering the, Skill of Self-Confidence” I know that your TedX on the, Skill of Self-confidence, has over 19 million views. Why do you think that talk resonated with so many people and did you put some of that content in your book?
Dr Ivan – To me the most important thing about that Ted talk, the reason I did that talk was because I struggled with, build self-confidence. I sat on the bench of a soccer team, I got kicked out of University. When you grow up as a black man in a white man's world, you're always not feeling like you're quite up to it.
One day when my wife came to me, she was my girlfriend at the time and she realized after I'd been sitting on the bench, that she saw me practice and said I was terrible. She had already seen me play a really good game and she said to me.
“What happened to your game? You let that man define your sense of self-worth. Didn't you tell me that he didn't play high level Soccer? That you've been coached by some of the best?”
I realized I had given my power away and that affected my performance, because I didn't believe I was good any good anymore. I stopped that very day and changed my mindset. I went on to start to play like I was meant to play, I became the captain of that team playing in the all-conference finals.
It wasn't that man who belittled me, I belittled myself. There's always going to be people who don't believe in you, it's your job to change that person's mindset, not to fulfill their belief prophecy about you.
So the reason that TedX talk resonates with everybody is that we all have feelings of Self-doubt. We all need to, build self-confidence.
I'm not smart enough
I'm not rich enough
I'm not skinny enough
I don't look good here
My teeth aren't this
You get the new job and you're great but then you get the promotion
I don't know if I can do it
I don't think I can do it
What I did with the book, was I shared some of that Ted talk and I went even further to create exercises, practical pieces and workshops in that book as a self-help guide about how to go about, building self-confidence.
I teach about higher expectations, talking about skill and mastery. Listeners of the podcast will get a 20% discount using the coupon code Myrna
To order click the link below
https://drivanjoseph.com/ivans-bookivans-book/
If you go on the website and order the book, I'll give you the course materials. I think it's a great opportunity for people who want to grow and learn how to develop their, self- confidence, to improve their performance.
Follow Dr Ivan Joseph on Linkedin, Twitter and Instagram
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This $25 gift card allows you to purchase any of the 80 natural organic products including, coffee, skincare, tea, CBD oil, super-foods, essential oils, pet products and more. All you need to do to enter this contest is to subscribe to either The Transform your Mind iTunes podcast or the Transform your mind YouTube channel. Once you subscribe, send me an email to info@myhelps.us with your contact information and one lucky winner will win this $25 gift card.
Just remember your mantra! You are the captain of your ship and the master of your fate. So whenever you're feeling overwhelmed, remember You Got This!
The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment. People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you'll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that, fulfillment, lies somewhere in money.
Listen to the full interview
TJ Loeffler shares tips and strategies on the topic Successful but Unfulfilled, getting Back to Basics. TJ is a best-selling author of the new book “Getting Back to Basics”
This interview on the Transform your Mind podcast covers the fundamentals of living your life the way that you purposed it. How to live your best life now with some simple little tweaks by getting, back to basics.
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Introduction to Getting, Back to Basics
TJ Loeffler is a founder, speaker, coach and advisor. After a personal awakening and a decade long journey of life transformation he now uses his gifts in speaking and coaching to share
Lessons from his story. TJ’s personal mission is to help people be free, get healthy and stay wealthy. Not just financially but spiritually by getting, back to basics.
TJ Loeffler – the first thing that I’ll say about Jesus being at the center of my transformation and
the change in my life is one of the things I heard
God makes the trees and we make the tables.
It's a very powerful way to think about God's role in our lives and more importantly our role in his life. What I mean by that is he provides and it's up to us to meet our potential, so if he has the promise, we have the potential. I give God the credit and specifically Jesus for the revelation.
Successful but Unfulfilled – Getting Back to Basics
The changes that have happened in my life are really stemming from a change that happened in my heart. I was successful but unfulfilled working at Goldman Sachs, a well-known investment bank. I was on the trading floor on wall street making a great income but I was unfulfilled.
You see I had been driven my whole life to perform and achieve, because I had low self-esteem.
I had low self-esteem, because I had a subconscious belief that I was abandoned or neglected at birth. I was adopted.
I had never really come to the place where I had accepted my own story, because I had never really gone through the process of healing. My relationship with God allowed me to release the feeling of low self-worth and embrace my life.
Everything hit me in terms of the understanding who you are when my father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and the supernatural started speaking into my life.
After facing a lot of adversity, I started coaching to help others and my company Loeffler international was founded.
Getting Back to Basics
Are Overachievers Unfulfilled?
Myrna – That's awesome why do you think that some overachievers are still unfulfilled?
In my coaching experience I found that there was a lot of overachievers who are making money, they're successful in their marriages, they've got a couple of boxes that they can check; but they still this emptiness inside.
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How Getting, Back to Basics can help you become fulfilled.
TJ Loeffler – it's a great question and I'm going to make this super practical and it does relate to, back to basics, the book that is coming out this summer.
The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment. People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you'll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that fulfillment lies somewhere in money.
But then people who start making money realize wait I need to do something meaningful with my life, so then they start a non-profit or do something to make an impact on the world. Then they realize that they can’t help everybody in the world.
Then they realize wait I need inner freedom and finances don't bring me freedom! Money just magnifies the state you're already in. If you're a sad person, money can make you extra sad. So getting, back to basics looks at your inner world.
• Forgiveness – forgiveness sets us free. There's a lot of people who follow Jesus; but haven't had the revelation of Jesus in their heart, which is full freedom. In other words they still live hanging on to the weight of their past and that's not living in freedom that's living in self-condemnation.
• Health – there are a lot of really spiritual people who are functionally unhealthy and so underneath all that income still, unfulfilled. They can be making an impact; but if they're not healthy no, fulfillment.
Does Money equal Fulfillment?
Myrna – I want to circle back to one of the most poignant things you said. People think that income equals, fulfillment. That is such a lie and it's really sad to see the, unfulfilled, people with lots of money like the stars who have millions of dollars and all the fans and then they realize that all that doesn't make them, fulfilled.
TJ Loeffler – One thing I would add is getting, back to basics, means that when you think about money the gift is with the giver and so generosity is one of the tools to greater joy; but generosity can also be an outpouring of guilt. So if you don't have gratitude in your heart and you feel guilty for privilege and money, then you are back to being, unfulfilled.
Myrna – In your book, back to basics, you talk about the idea of having the right foundation for,
Fulfillment. What is that foundation?
What's the core of, Back to Basics
TJ Loeffler – At the core of, Back to Basics, is this idea of the foundation to, fulfillment.
We were talking about health being the foundation layer in getting, back to basics, because
people that I've experienced this in my own life have gone through a health transformation including myself. You can't end burnout of 10 years with poor lifestyle choices in 24 hours.
People want to have conversation with our coaching team to find out what truly makes them happy and how to get, back to basics, without changing their mindset.
The foundation to, fulfillment, is to overcome indecision and paralysis from analysis and anxiety. There are functional changes you need to make in your life, not just the mindset shifts which are
Core. Just like your philosophy, transform your mind, to, transform your life, we believe that mindset comes before strategy or tactics.
If you have pressures in your life and you're not taking care of your body, I don't care how you
Look visually, it's going to affect you mentally, emotionally spiritually. It's going to affect you and all these areas of life.
Getting, back to basics, is as simple as starting your day with lemon water. You have to start your day hydrating your body and specifically with lemon water because your body is
Detoxifying.
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There are six Core Pillars to getting, Back to Basics.
Myrna – is that your foundation to getting, back to basics?
TJ Loeffler – there are six core pillars to the foundation. When we think about health we break it up into these six things:
• Diet
• Sleep
• Movement
• Active rest
• Reflection and
• Connection
These six pillars are how I grew my business. These six things are also how I changed my life functionally. There were things that I was facing in my life, a lot of difficulty. I believe some of it was spiritual, some of it was really practical. I was burned out, so I hadn't changed my mindset around productivity, around balance, around energy, I wouldn’t have found the recipe for getting, back to basics.
Pride comes before the fall and I definitely fell. I felt my pride took me to fall several times.
If God makes the trees and we make the tables, the tree is the body. He made this body.
I'm a spiritual being in this body. Our body keeps the score and we're losing. Our body is telling us we have to look at ourselves and say I've neglected nutrition in my life.
I have to start thinking not diet; but my relationship with food and how my body processes the food. If i don't have active rest in my life then I'm in constant sympathetic tone or fight or flight or free state and then my body diverts all the blood away from my digestive system. Now I can't process the kale and salmon that I'm eating all the time and I think I'm healthy; but the reality is I'm in constant state of chronic stress or anxiety, so my body doesn't process the nutrition I an eating.
How does Active Rest take us, Back to Basics?
Myrna – Is active rest Meditation?
TJ Loeffler – meditation is one leg of active rest. Here's the key with meditation. You can empty
Yourself; but are you filling yourself with the right things? Otherwise you're just walking around with an empty bin.
Active rest is really about helping your body move from sympathetic tone to what's called parasympathetic tone. I think of it like a light dimmer not a light switch.
People are walking about their day being triggered by trauma that happened in their life and not even knowing that they're being triggered. How many people are aware that they're in a chronic state of fight or flight? How many people are aware of that and so recognize shallow mouth breathing as stress? All this is part of getting, back to basics.
Myrna – all the foundational things you're talking about are things that I know that people can actually use to become better themselves and when they become better themselves, then everything else on the exterior becomes better. So, back to basics, it's basic a perfect book.
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He was surprised because he was eating 3 fat-laden restaurant meals per day and did absolutely no daily exercises! He lost so much weight he had to buy SKINNIER CLOTHES! That why he wrote the book to share weight loss facts and tricks. So head over to www.survivalexpertblog.com and start your weight loss journey.
How can these Core Pillars help Overachievers have, Fulfillment?
Back to Basics, is a collection of the six core pillars.
Everything you do it starts as a discipline before it becomes a desire; but the reality is you can really start to enjoy your life when you when you like the way you look, when you like the way you feel. You start realizing it’s probably all the good choices that I've been making to engage with my body in a different way that is making me feel good.
I check my relationship with food
Analyse my relationship with sleep
What people are really looking for is, fulfillment, in life, in other words they have made an
agreement that work will provide, fulfillment. I spoke with a client yesterday, who said, I need a new career. I don't have a career that gives me, fulfillment, and I said a career is not where you find, fulfillment. It may be a contributor but it can’t give you, fulfillment.
Myrna – I agree change starts with you, it's within your power.
How to Change your Life Right Now by Getting, Back to Basics
What's one of the first and most important things someone can do to begin changing their life right now?
A lot of people want to put things off until they've checked this box or they get married or got this new job. They always put off happiness; but we know as coaches that anything that you want to do, this is the right time. Now is the right time so what can somebody do right now to begin changing their lives?
TJ Loeffler – Besides lemon water every morning which is recommended in the book, back to basics, do things that make you feel and look better. They can also hire a coach. Coaches can help people to find, fulfillment, within. I found is coaches really accelerate the process and the good ones are going to be able to hold a mirror up to you.
They're going to be able to help you see something differently in order to make practical change in your life. But I can hold a mirror but if you're not willing to let go and let God in, if you're not willing to give permission, if you're still trying to hold on and have control over every area of your life, including your own perception.
If you want to hold on to the pain of your past, if you want to hold on to the things that have happened to you that you are still the victim, it's really going to be hard to make changes. I don't care how many coaches you hire, you won’t find, fulfillment. You have got to do the work.
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The first part of the book, Back to Basics, is really about helping people be open. If you're not open, if your mind's not open, your heart's not open. Your mind is a reflection of your heart.
Myrna – How can listeners connect with you and order a copy of your book, Back to Basics?
They can order from my website corepillers.com.
We do have a boot camp. We do have health coaching, VIP days and a number of other options for people. If you're at a place in your life where you're really looking to make a change and
that's our prerequisite, we're looking for people who are resourceful, teachable and ready for
change NOW. Not six months from now.
Here are the links to TJ site
Website Site: tjloeffler.com
Thanks for supporting the Transform your Mind radio and Podcast. You can sponsor this podcast by checking out my gig on Fiverr. We are now recording on video so check out the Transform Your Mind Podcast YouTube channel. Please subscribe and leave your comments.
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Become limitless, with, emotional intelligence leadership. Your, emotional intelligence leadership, skills keeps track of everything. It stores emotions, holds emotional experiences. Emotional intelligence self awareness, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions. How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.
Listen to the Full Interview
Introduction to becoming Limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Self Awareness
My guest today is Adri Kyser, she is an international holistic wellness and personal development Coach. We discuss the very exciting topic, renewing your mind, going from limited to, limitless by taping into our, emotional intelligence.
Adri Kyser yoga, uses the enlightened alchemy method that has helped thousands of women worldwide achieve everything from reduced pain and stress to increasing confidence and productivity. She's also the co-author of the best-selling book “Overcoming Adversity and Entrepreneurship”
She was born in Venezuela, went to Law school, (since I was born in Guyana, we are neighbors.) But when she came to the United States she felt not good enough, because she spoke with an accent.
Adri has helped over 4500 men and women worldwide change the narrative of their painful memories, so they can tap into their own super power and go from being limited to living a life of, limitless, potential.
I found four key components to long-lasting health, happiness and fulfillment using, emotional intelligence leadership.
Physical health – how you take care of your body
Mental wellness – how you perceive the world number
Emotional Intelligence – how you experience the world
Spiritual connection – how you feed your soul including, Adri Kyser yoga
When you really begin to work on these foundations, these pillars you begin to shift and see tremendous transformations in your life. You begin to heal from the inside out, and become empowered. You are no longer driven by your negative voice.
The impostor syndrome that a lot of us have, especially women is that voice that's constantly saying. Are you sure you can do that? You're not good enough to do that. That voice that feeds your fears, your insecurities and even your self-sabotaging behavior, that negative voice. Using your, emotional intelligence leadership, skills allows you to become aware of that voice.
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Myrna – If we want to change, then it's never from the exterior, it's always from the interior. A lot of women feel they are not good enough. Michelle Obama wrote an entire book on this subject “Becoming”. Even as the First Lady, she still felt not good enough.
We feel not good enough, when a person of authority tells us something negative and it becomes imprinted on our minds.
Most of the time we stuff it down and don't actually know that we are holding on to that hurt, then it comes it comes up in chronic pain. It comes up in overeating or even when you drink or take drugs or any of that stuff. You are trying to artificially change your state; but one of the best ways to change your state is to go inwards maybe in gratitude, because that's basically what I do.
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What is your method for teaching someone to understand what emotions they've stuffed down?
Adri – I call this process Enlightened Alchemy. This is a process that was born from my personal experience and then from working with clients. It is the process of transforming the physical, mental, and emotional with, emotional intelligence leadership. Including even the spiritual transformation of one's self.
What made these transformations successful, was not just addressing the pain or one particular area of life, it was addressing all those four components of life. If you're ready to get the soulmate, ready to lose the weight, ready to make X amount of money in your business? I am here to help you go from limited to, limitless, using your, emotional intelligence leadership.
I'm here to help you go within, clear some stuff, remove the stuff that's preventing you from, becoming limitless. So you can feel empowered, so you can feel confident and know your true potential to, become limitless.
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Myrna – As Coaches we are supposed to be enabling our clients, we're supposed to be having our clients understand their blockages, understand what’s preventing them from becoming, limitless, by looking at their past and seeing their patterns. Using, emotional intelligence leadership.
Is your Enlightened Alchemy based on the four principles: the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual?
Adri – Yes. I also call myself an energy alchemist, because I do a lot of energy work and activation.
Because everybody's unique, I truly believe in the holistic approach, mind, body, emotions and spirit; so that everything we do whether it's business coaching or life coaching or whatever it is includes all four pillars.
How can, emotional intelligence leadership, help someone with emotions that they've stuffed down?
Adri – Your body remembers everything that you've ever done. Every emotion, every thought, how you're eating, how you're sleeping. It keeps track of everything. Moving to the mental part of your thoughts, on average an individual has about 70 000 thoughts per day.
About 10% of those thoughts are original thoughts so meaning 90% of your thoughts are repetition of the day before, or weeks before, or even years before. The problem with this, is your belief will affect your biology. Meaning your belief will affect how your body responds. It changes your biochemistry.
So that's why the mind and body are so important. Emotional intelligence self awareness, keeps track of everything. It stores emotions, holds emotional experiences. Emotional intelligence leadership, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions. How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.
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What people don't know is that emotions are molecules that carry information that affect the functioning of their cells their emotions. Emotional Intelligence, will affect your biology just as your thoughts. So, emotional intelligence leadership, is important, because if you don't have, emotional intelligence self awareness, you are not able to relate with the world around you or with others.
You're not able to read the social cues. Emotional intelligence leadership, also empowers you to take control back of your life. You're no longer coming from a victim place, you're no longer pointing fingers, because that person did this to me. Emotional intelligence leadership, is about understanding how you're managing the emotions that you're experiencing.
Emotional Intelligence leadership to become Limitless
According to Ayurveda the emotions that are not expressed or digested properly, gets buried in your tissues and fascia and will affect your physical well-being. So over 15 years of teaching, Adri Kyser yoga, and wellness, I have had students who cried after releasing these emotions that were buried in their tissues.
We hold anger in our liver, grief is in our chest and lungs.
The other thing I like about, emotional intelligence leadership, is it gives you the opportunity to take your power back. So if someone is making you angry, then you can ask yourself, why am I choosing to be angry about this?
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Then you can move to asking yourself, what is triggering this emotion within me?
You can take your power back, by not letting people trigger you. The other part about triggers is recognizing what part within you is getting triggered. Where the hurt coming from, because if you come and tell me Adri you are not a good rocket scientist, I wouldn't get triggered.
You can only be triggered by limited beliefs. Limiting beliefs keep you limited not, limitless.
If somebody right now tells me either you're a horrible coach or you're a bad yoga teacher. It will probably trigger me because it could be true.
If there's a trigger still around, that means there's still a part of me that's not healed. If you are still being triggered, you've gotta rub it out. Figure out what is making you angry? What is this anger telling me? Using, emotional intelligence leadership, skills and having the responsibility and the maturity and the tools necessary to go deeper and figure it out. It’s not saying that, Adri Kyser yoga, never gets angry.
We have to feel our emotions in order to process them, that's emotional intelligence leadership. In order to release them and in order to learn the lessons that they want to teach us, so the next time your reaction may be milder.
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How do you go from limited to, limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Leadership
If you're operating with, limited mindsets, then you are going to be limited. I like to start with the physical body, because that's where you're going to start seeing the fastest results. When you feel safe and secure, when you are comfortable in your own skin, then you're going to be able to go deeper into the other layers.
So to become, limitless, it's recognizing where your self-imposed limitations are. We can learn to fly and soar in our personal relationships, in our growth. The limits that we have, oftentimes come from self-imposed limitations or limits that other people have put on us. When it comes to living a, limitless, life it is working in your mindset and working on your, emotional intelligence leadership.
It's really about becoming aware. Awareness is key. Thoughts and emotions you're experiencing on a regular basis it is important to be aware. Grab a journal and start the practice where you write down the thoughts and emotions you're having on a regular basis. Once a week or once a month review what you're writing.
You're going to see patterns. You're going to say “oh my gosh look how many times I thought about this and that.”
Emotional intelligence leadership, is key. You cannot change something you don't know. That it's like being in a dark room that's dirty and messy; but because the lights are out, you don't see the the mess or the dirt until you turn the lights on.
I created a workbook that I'm happy to offer to your podcast listeners. It’s free. It's simple, but it gives you some exercises and things that you can implement right away for you to become aware and notice some of your limiting beliefs that run in the background.
So with this workbook can take you from limited to, limitless. I give you the tools to become aware of your limiting beliefs. It allows you to understand that the universe is unlimited and the universe is abundant.
How can our listeners get a copy of your workbook.
My website is www.adrikaiser. They can also go to adrikeiser.com/free-gifts
Conclusion
If you decide to step out of your comfort zone and if you're willing to work on yourself and use your, emotional intelligence leadership, and you're willing to try something new. You can find new levels of strength, confidence, comfort or success that you never thought possible. So push yourself, because if you stay in your comfort zone, you're never going to excel at anything.
There have been thousands of research studies around the benefits of, consciousness, and, mindfulness. That research is ongoing, it's all about, mindfulness for stress reduction, mindfulness for depression or anxiety.
My guest today is Charlie Hartwell, a Change Agent and Operating Partner at Bridge Builders Collaborative. Today we are going to be speaking on the topic “Funding the Global Movement towards, Consciousness, and Awareness”.
Listen to the Interview
Charlie is a Change Agent who shepherds ideas, resources and talent to drive global sustainable growth. Passionate about transformation and innovation, he is a leader who ignites teams to accomplish remarkable results. Charlie is also a Harvard Business School graduate and has led various roles in 14 different industries over his career.
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Myrna – I know business school teaches you about business. Why did you settle on the, consciousness, and mental awareness, part of business?
Charlie – I have to say my wife got me into it. You'll probably hear about my wife a lot on this interview. I describe her as the wisdom of our family. My wife has been in the, consciousness, and, spirituality, space for 40 years, in various roles. She was also involved with The Mind and Life Institute. The Mind and life Institute was founded by a Stanford MBA, a Chilean neuro scientist and the Dalai Lama and proves through science the benefits of contemplative practices like, mindfulness, consciousness, mental awareness, etc. The organization's started 40 years ago and my wife became involved about 14 or 15 years ago. She introduced me to the organization and the investors who started Bridge Builders Collaborative. They wanted to understand the science behind, mindfulness, and mind training. They needed someone to go out and find out whether there were investments for, consciousness, and, mental awareness, so they hired me to do that work for them; that was about nine years ago.
Myrna – Okay that's great! Okay so 40 years, that's a long time to be in the, consciousness, space. Do you practice, mindfulness, yourself or are you just involved in the business aspect of it?
Charlie – I would say yes, I practice, mindfulness. I had my own experience, before starting this job. I might even call it my own awakening. It caused a deepening of my own, consciousness, and awareness.
There have been thousands of research studies around the benefits of, consciousness, and, mindfulness. That research is ongoing, it's all about, mindfulness for stress reduction, mindfulness for depression or anxiety. Mindfulness, has been studied around the world by leading institutions, and that is when it got to a point where we thought there was enough validation, that's really when entrepreneurs started to ask the question. How can we take this, mindfulness, and conscious awareness and create a company out of it, and help bring it to more people in the world?
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Myrna – Consciousness, and, mindfulness, are experiencing a Global Movement. I was listening to, Sadhguru, on the School of Greatness Podcast and he was discussing his book Inner Engineering. So I went out and purchased, Sadhguru’s, book Inner Engineering and this morning on my morning walk, I started listening to this book. Just the first chapter of Inner Engineering, blew me away. Sadhguru, talked about how he would go into a trance like state with his eyes open and sit there for hours. How he could feel his digestion! It was amazing.
Charlie why do you believe there's a global movement towards, consciousness, and, spirituality? We talked about the benefits of, mindfulness, do you think that the East is coming to the West?
Charlie – First of all, I just want to say I love, Sadhguru. I owe him and I love the man very deeply. Secondly my own perspective, I don't claim to be right on this; my own perspective is that there is such a level of stress and suffering in the world, that Eastern practices like Buddhism are filling a need. We have to reduce suffering, we have to reduce stress and anxiety, and, consciousness, and, mindfulness, are tools that are coming to help people in the United States and around the world. These, consciousness, tools help people to get more in touch with themselves. To help them to connect more deeply to themselves and hopefully help them live happier, healthier and more authentic lives.
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Myrna – That's was the first part of, Sadhguru’s, book. How to find joy. Sadhguru, made the comment that in the olden days, people were stressed because they were hungry and it was all about survival; but once your belly is full, you should be happy because, that's usually the survival part of life. Sadhguru, went on to say that now that our bellies are full and we are the most privileged people in history, we are more unhappy and stressed than our ancestors!
Charlie – That’s where programs about stress reduction and, mindfulness, come into play. It's a great endeavor to fund more of these companies, so that a lot more people can have access to these tools. They won’t have to go to India, which is where the majority of these teachings originates, they can access these companies in the United States and that is where your company comes in.
Strategy for Funding Consciousness
Myrna – So, let's talk about what your strategy is to invest in companies by helping them allow people to go deeper into, consciousness, and mental awareness. Tell us about your company and how you help investors.
Charlie – When we make an investment, we try to add value to those investments in several different ways, The first way is through what I would call counsel. My partners and business leaders, who have led in many different industries, have start-up experience or have invested in many companies; so they have the wisdom to provide the entrepreneur with help that entrepreneur be more successful.
The second thing we do is because we are so connected in the space, we're the only investors that are solely focused on the, consciousness, and, mindfulness, space; so we know many of the world's leading spiritual teachers. We also know many of the world's scientists, we are also connected into the healthcare system. We're connected to other entrepreneurs and investors, so we add connections that help make introductions that help the entrepreneurs in several different ways.
Thirdly, we've developed a really good reputation for being investors that not only care about making money; but we care about making an impact in the world. So, if we invest in someone, it adds to their credibility.
Finally our purpose is to provide capital or cash that helps the entrepreneur to hire people, do marketing campaigns, build platforms etc. but that's the least important to us.
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Myrna – Well that's great! So, coaching, counseling, you introduce them to the leading scientists, spiritual leaders like, Sadhguru, and then you provide cash. Nice, so how does someone find you? Or how do you go about selecting the companies that you want to invest in?
Charlie – People tend to find us because we're known in this space. Our website is BB collaborative and we tend to use as a funnel and our screening process.
Nine Steps to Funding a Consciousness Business
When somebody comes to me with a business idea, it's normally because they've started their business.
They've got their first customers.
They've got revenue coming in the door and we provide the growth capital. That’s what I look for.
Then we ask the question if our investors were to invest in this company, what is the impact that we can make on a global scale?
Next what’s the science behind the product? We try to do an assessment, if the science is good or where are the holes in the science.
We also look at the entrepreneur. do an assessment if the entrepreneur themselves is conscious, if the entrepreneur is vulnerable and is willing to do their own personal work, is willing to let go of ego.
Are they skilled at running a business and being able to grow that business.
Is the product differentiated? Is there a need for it?
Lastly we look at if we invest in this product, How much potential money can we make from it? How can the company be sustainable? Can it provide returns on our capital? How much of a return can shareholder expect?
Myrna – I like what you said about wanting to know the science behind a project. Can you give me an example of one of your investments that would maybe fit this model?
Companies using Science to promote Global, Consciousness
Charlie – I'll give you a few different examples. I'm on the board of Muse Guided Meditations. I am passionate about that company. We've been investors for seven years. A lot of people have heard of a company called Headspace. We were one of the early investors in Headspace. The company has done a great job of rebranding meditation and making it accessible to the modern world actually. Sadhguru, is on the platform.
It's a global community of 7,000 spiritual teachers, musicians, scientists that meet on a platform community of sixteen million. About five hundred thousand people use it every day. What I like about this platform is that it's all free. It's free content. There are forty five thousand meditations that are available for free. You could subscribe if you want special features; but you never have to pay for the service and you can connect with the world's leading spiritual teachers and find content that suits either your spiritual tradition or the specific teacher that you want. It’s a very diverse group of teachers, 44 teachers are teaching in 44 different language and it's global.
I'll just mention you know another company called ‘Happify' which is kind of a behavioral health platform for, mindfulness, positive psychology, and cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s an app and they kind of gamified the experience. They're actually going through the FDA process to become a digital therapeutic program; so that it can be prescribed by doctors and reimbursed by insurance companies. They are hoping to be able to treat actual conditions without taking as many drugs.
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Myrna – So that's so that's beautiful! I'm definitely going to try Headspace. I'm thinking that it's almost the same thing as Muse. No?
Charlie – Muse is a hardware device where you could see your brainwaves. It allows you to basically see whether you're in a calm or focused state. It connects to your phone. Headspace is more just like a meditation app, it doesn't have a hardware component to it.
Myrna – As we wrap up the interview I'm curious to hear about how you started a non-profit in the slums or poverty-stricken areas of Nairobi Kenya that has served three to five million patients so far. Can you tell us about that? Is that also part of the Global, consciousness, and, spirituality, movement?
Charlie – So, in 1986 I'd gotten out of college, I was traveling around the world. I was kind of working weird jobs and in remote places and the last place that I landed was in Nairobi, where I worked as a social worker for like three months. I learned that I didn't like Social Work at all. I wasn't good at it, and yet I became passionate about the continent of Africa. I wanted to do something to help create change, I knew it wasn't going to be through social work but, you know the best way I could think of to try to help people was to start a business. I had a co-founder, a Kenyan who I co-founded the organization with and one other guy that I went to college with, and we started this organization called Provide international. It started as a child feeding program then we started a business loan program for women entrepreneurs, not necessarily in the, consciousness, or, mindfulness, space.
Then we discovered that what the community was asking for was a health care organization; so we started a health care organization.
They had the first maternity wards in any poverty-stricken areas of Africa that I know about, we had the first ambulance.
We had one of only two ambulances in the entire country of Kenya.
They had the first eye doctors and dentists in those areas. After 9 years, I decided to turn it over to the Kenyan, so they could run it themselves not have Americans overseeing them.
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I went back you 30 years later for the anniversary and they had seven centers, they treated millions of patients. They'd been very successful at helping to bring health care into the communities. I was proud of what they had accomplished.
Myrna – How can people find you to request funding?
Charlie – People can find me at you know on LinkedIn at Charlie Hartwell. I have a medium blog and I write articles on, mindfulness, and, consciousness.
Myrna – All right so, I don't have anything more. I just wanted to thank you for coming on the show and expanding our, consciousness, on how we can possibly build our inner engineering with, mindfulness, and have a global impact in the world. We start by changing ourselves first so, once we change ourselves or we change internally, then we can contribute to the global movement towards spirituality.
I want to invite you guys all to join my private Facebook group called ‘Life Coach’ and to remember to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Radio and Podcast, on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can now also watch the interview live on the Transform Your Mind YouTube channel. Would love for you to subscribe.
Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family members questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges that come with an, interracial marriage. Ericka Augutis
I want to invite you guys all to the table. We are going to be talking on the topic the, “The Color of love, interracial marriages, in America” my guest today is Erica Augustus.
Listen to the interview
Interracial Marriage in America
Ericka and I became friends when we worked at Office Depot for about 10 years, and we have maintained our friendship. I decided that I wanted to get into the conversation on, interracial marriages, in America because of what's been happening in the world and specifically in the last month or so.
It's a very difficult place for a, black woman, married to a, white man. I think it's even a little bit more complicated when your partner or your spouse cannot understand a lot of the times your, black experience. I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago and this, black woman, was talking about her experience.
She was married for 13 years to a, white man, the marriage dissolved not because of racial differences or any kind of racial problems, but she said it contributed to it, because her husband never really got into the conversation. If she would come home and say she was discriminated against at the office, he didn't have a response or didn't talk about it and then the host asked her the question.
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Interracial Marriage black man white woman
Can a, white man, love a, black woman, and still be a racist?
And her response was, “love has nothing to do with it”, now that piqued my interest and that's the predominant reason that I wanted to get into this conversation, and have you guys all join in the conversation and discuss, the color of love.
Interracial Marriage Interview Highlights
How did you and your husband meet?
How Ericka and Kevin handled the stares from Black and White people in their, interracial marriage, when they walked down the street.
What are her thoughts on Systemic racism, did her husband understand her experience as a, Black woman.
Love has no color. How easy is it to love someone from a different race?
How does she and her husband talk to her black sons regarding the police.
My name is Ericka Augutis, my husband Kevin and I have been married for 18 years 19 in November. We do have two children. One is 14 and the other is 4.
We met about 22 years ago. He worked at a local Blockbuster in my neighborhood. He was a manager and anytime I would go into the store to look at videos, he would offer to help me. Well that's when our relationship started. Finally we went on our first date and I have to say it was really awkward for both of us and I thought okay I'm never doing that again. He was super quiet there was very little conversation. A few months went by and he called again, and asked for a second date and I was going to say no, but my mom chimed in and asked me to give him another chance. I'm so glad I did that second date because we just had the best time.
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We dated to my dismay for nearly five years, we were engaged twice. The first proposal I accepted I was elated. I was excited to say yes; but a few months later we went to a party with some of our friends and I realized some of the ladies didn’t even know I was engaged. Here I was super excited and some of his circle of friends didn’t know that were engaged. So, it really hit me hard. I felt like okay I'm really pressuring him into this, interracial marriage. So I called off the engagement.
After that we kind of went our separate ways for a few months and then we slowly started dating again. And I have to say both of us matured during that time of separation and he proposed a second time in restaurant. He got down on one knee in front of all these people and proposed me a second time. This time he was ready! We got married like a year later.
Myrna Young Did you think that he maybe didn’t want to tell his friends he was engaged because you were a, black woman?
Ericka Augutis No, I don’t think the fact that we were contemplating an, interracial marriage, had anything to do with it, or the, color of love, because I was in his circle of friends for four years. We all vacationed together so it wasn't that. I just felt like he wasn't ready and I was forcing him to get married.
Myrna Young I'm going to ask you not a question as a follow-up to that. So all the time you guys dated, five years or so, you got engaged twice you didn't see color? The question today is there a, color of love? Did any of your friends treated you differently? Or said Ericka he's white? None of his friends says hey Kevin why do you want to marry a, black woman? Nothing?
Ericka Augutis Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family, maybe one or two family members, questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges to come with an, interracial marriage.
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So yes, from my perspective it came later as well, being a successful, black woman, my parents and other family members wanted to know why I was dating someone that doesn't look like me. I really had to kind of ask myself that question as well. I realized it's not as if I said to myself, I'm going to find a Caucasian man and have this, interracial marriage. I fell in love with a white man.
Myrna Young Yea Love is color blind actually, Love is an Emotion, it's a feeling and it doesn't see color!
Ericka Augutis There were experiences and times where we had to deal with the looks and the stairs especially when we would go into places where everyone was a little older. I would say during that time anyone that was over age of 65 would give us those looks on both sides. It's not just the Caucasian folks, black folks as well.
Myrna Young Did you let the stares and looks bother you?
Ericka Augutis No, Kevin was always so confident and strong and it made me just feel like I had nothing to worry about. But there was this time just after we had our son Kevin Jr, we were having dinner in this fancy restaurant and this gentleman, I probably shouldn't call him a gentleman. A white man, came over to our table and he said to Kevin, Is this your son? My husband says yes, he says well I'm going to tell you I'm a doctor that's not your son!
You got to be kidding me!
I am not kidding. it was such a strange experience. I mean he just came over and I think his goal was just to disturb our night and really rock and test the foundations of our, interracial marriage. That was one experience that I'll never forget.
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Myrna Young Okay but in your marriage of itself was there any kind of friction at all regarding race? Was all the friction from outside people looking in and trying to disturb your harmony? For instance as a, black woman, is it hard to go and talk to a partner that is outside your race about racism that's been happening to you? Because, it's not their experience and they can't understand it how a, black women, survive in the workplace for instance? As a, black woman, I have not been discriminated against a lot and especially growing up in Canada; but I know that if I was talking to a, black man, who had a white spouse, it would have been a totally different conversation. Because as a, black man, he would have been harassed by the police, he would have been discriminated at work, he would have experienced racism throughout his life. Racism that his white spouse would not be able to understand or identify.
So, did any of those situations happen in your marriage where your husband couldn't understand your black experience?
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Ericka Augutis I would say initially when we're in the newlywed stage, there were a few situations, super minor things, nothing hardcore or anything like that; but I could tell there was an inequality in the situation. When I talked about it, he would always ask me why I was so passionate? That was his word or way of saying, why are you so angry? It took me about three or four times of him saying that or using that phrase for me to get that he's trying to ask me to express myself and make him understand. Why was something so small making you angry? So, once I understood what he was truly trying to say and ask me, we had a tough conversation on racism.
I explained to him the history black people and the challenges I've experienced throughout my career being a, black woman. I think in his career not everyone knows he's married to a, black woman; so he would hear things people would say that were borderline racist and he would tell me he got it.
Myrna Young Not only did your husband not understand your black experience but as a, black woman, I didn't understand my husband's black experience either. My husband was a police officer and what upset him more than anything else was that he was going out there every night putting his life on the line and yet the white officers were racial against him. Not just my husband; but they were racist against all the black officers in the department. There was no equality even when they could die together. My husband would say we bleed the same blood, when we're out there on the street and I am treated differently. I didn't understand until recently when I understood the definition of a racist and the definition of racist policies. I had to go back to him and apologize for not understanding.
That's basically what I would I wanted to you know. To find out from you how is the cohesiveness in an, interracial marriage, when one person has white privilege and the other person has to claw their way for everything?
So, the other question I have on here is and I think you mentioned it, people staring at you and I think you said that you felt protected because Kevin was so strong and you weren't scared; but did it bother you psychologically?
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Ericka Augutis We've been married for so long, I would say it bothered me until we had our son. A small portion of me would wonder is it worth it? Is it worth it, why can't we just go out to dinner and just have a nice dinner without any stares, comments or judgment? So I would say, yes it does bother you, it does affect you. You just have to find a way to deal with it and ensure that your relationship is solid enough where it's worth it.
How does Interracial Marriage affect children?
Myrna Young How does your 14-year-old son, he's old enough to understand what' going on right now in the world, how does he relate to having a white dad?
Ericka Augutis Oh, that's a good question so, he’s actually okay with it. He was in Boy Scouts from the age of I think five or six until 12 years old and I remember we were on a camping trip he may have been 7 or 8 at the time and he came into our tent and I could tell something was wrong. His face was a little flushed, so I said to him what's wrong he said this kid asked him why is your dad white and your mom black?
I said, what did you say? He says I said because they love each other! So I think he's okay with what’s going on right now. I did not know how to quite handle it when a child asked him like where is he from? If he was Spanish? I think that's he's at that stage where he's getting that question and has to figure out how he's going to handle it and answer it.
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Myrna Young It sounds like your, interracial marriage, is healthy. You guys don't see color. Your, color of love, is blended. You love your kids, you show them love you don't show them a difference and that's definitely the way to go about it. So your, interracial marriage, experience has been a good one. As a, black woman, marrying outside of your race you still go through get the same racism and racist policies that our, black men, go through on a lesser scale.
That's basically what I wanted to have a conversation so that we can shed a light on, interracial marriages. I mean we're looking at black and white but, interracial marriage, can also be Spanish and black or even religion Muslim and Christian or anything that makes you different. It causes some controversy or cause some friction.
Ericka Augutis I don't want the podcast listeners thinking I am making, interracial marriage, sound like it's just perfect. Absolutely not, there are challenges don't get me wrong. When we get invited to parties and there's only a sprinkle of brown and black people in room, you have to figure out how to navigate. Do you want to be like over-the-top polished or just be yourself. When our families get together we both have to play roles. Every day you encounter racism. If you're dealing with the public or you go in a public space you're dealing with those types of situations where people are looking people are asking questions so it's a conversation that you have more often than not. When you're in a relationship like this, it's something that you have to deal with if you want it to work out.
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Myrna Young I thank you for coming on and having a seat at this table I appreciate it. I hope our readers and listeners learned a few things one, interracial marriages, can work. They can be successful, you just have to have love and talk about it.
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