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The Millennials and Gen Z Playbook: Unpacking Limiting Beliefs

Arika Pierce is a generational strategist and Attorney, author, a, millennial coach, and speaker.   She introduced me to this new Terms, Xennial, and, Gen Z.  Arika has a unique perspective and
has developed strategies and techniques to bridge, Millennials, and,  Gen Z, to generations before and after them.

The term, Gen Z, is the micro generation between, Generation X, and, millennial. I was born in March 1980 and, Millennials, you know the years vary a little bit in terms of the source the
source that’s defining, Millennials, but usually they’re born between 1981 and 1996; and so I’m sort of in this in-between place where I remember life without you know technology being in
your hands and having the internet.  I remember way before any apps.

The, millennial, generation is better understood than the, Gen Z, and they’re more successful, they don’t necessarily live up to the bad rap that they get in the media and from other folks so helping
them to sort of break out of that, millennial, negative brand.

All right, so what do you feel are some of the limiting mindsets that Millennials have?

I’d like to turn to your book on page 15, you say that, Millennials, are described as Entitled, Impatient, Tech Obsessed, Pampered, Self-absorbed and Lazy.
So, that’s how people feel about them; but how do they feel about themselves? According to your research how does that affect some of the limiting mindsets that they have?

I think it’s a great question,  I wish more people would Ask, because I feel like there’s lots of people that are talking about what they think, Millennials, are like and
not as many people asking what do, Millennials, and, Gen Z, know themselves. How do they view themselves? I’ll say this I think that, Millennials, don’t view themselves as any of these of these adjectives that you just Listed. Certainly none of these are very Positive; but I do think that they have a mindset that backed by parts of their upbringing. So, for example Millennials are definitely part of that feeling everyone gets a trophy generation.  They definitely have a mindset where everyone is equal. I think in many ways that can be limiting especially as they transition to adults and transition into their careers and into the workplace.

Do Gen Z feel Entitled?

The reason why I say this is because I think, Gen Z, oftentimes feel they’re entitled. They feel that on their first day of work they could be the boss.
Even though they have zero work experience, they still feel that everyone is equal and so they should have all the same access and an ability to share their mind and speak
their views.

Gen Z, communicate and the level of transparency that they’re they’ve grown accustomed to again I think you know for, Gen Z, the mindset is that communication should be quick, it should be easy, you don’t necessarily have to think too much about it, you could just send someone over a text message.

I think that can be limiting especially as you transition to work. Sometimes we need to be more thoughtful with our approaches especially at work and in professional capacities. I mean
sometimes you need to think through what you say, and how you say it, who you’re saying it to.

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Can you explain it what exactly is adulting and how does that relate to our topic on millennials today?

Adulting,  just means that you’re doing the duties and the responsibilities of a fully developed adult. Millennials, use it a lot you know to be funny; but I do think that there
is that the term does make a lot of sense.  I mean I think it could be used as both a verb and an noun.  I do think for, Gen Z, specifically the transition to adulting has been a
little bit tougher than previous Generations. So that’s why there’s so much emphasis on, adulting.

I see with a lot of, Millennials, that I Coach, I am a, millennial coach, there is a reluctance to sort of let go from Childhood.

What are some of the plays that you talked about in your book to help Millennials transition to, adulting?

What I try to do in the book is give very actionable advice. It’d be really easy to write a book and say go out and be a successful adult and make good decisions,  Exercise, drink water, and keep a job and save money right? I would say a lot of us don’t create goals; but the specifics are not there.  So I really use every chapter to give very clear or actionable advice on how to do specific things. For
Example, when I talk about how to look for a job.  I go through the Specifics.

Why it’s important to have things like a LinkedIn profile, when you’re applying for jobs.
How to make sure that you are presenting your best self on interview day.  What to do in terms of following up after an interview.
Once you have the job, how to keep the job and again I am very specific. I say things like on your first day set three goals of the things that you
want to accomplish at that job.

Career Advice for Millennials

Do you want to work on a certain project? Do you want to get promoted within six months? Things like That. I go again very detailed to make sure you get to work on
Time. Getting to work on time, being at your desk ready to work as soon as you know you’re supposed to be there. Etc.
Networking when you go to a networking event make sure you speak with three people and stay 30 minutes after. All of those types of things make you a successful adult. That’s why I called it a,
playbook.

I tell stories of based upon my own, adulting, experiences.

I like what you say about your brand is that you are the CEO of ME Incorporated, the chief marketing officer for the brand to call you.
As a coach that’s what I teach my clients, that you are you are the lid.

Conclusion

Arika how you readers pick up a copy of your book?

To purchase a copy of my book “ The Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting” you can visit Arika on the web @

www.arikapierce.com

Remember to subscribe to the #1 podcast on iTunes

The time is NOW to transform your MINDSET so that you can LIVE YOUR BEST LIVES NOW!

Additional resources 

https://blog.myhelps.us/coach-myrna-7-ways-to-get-unstuck-from-old-patterns/

 

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Motivate Yourself with The Power of Positive Thinking

Positive mindset

You can motivate yourself with the 3 P’s Patience Persistence and Positivity.  Learn, how to motivate yourself, with the power of, positive thinking. 

Introduction to Positive Thinking

Synopsis of, Patience, Let’s  say you are stranded in the woods. It is dark and it is cold. You need to make a fire to stay warm and to cook anything you can catch. You find a dry stick and a hollow branch and you set about rubbing the stick and the branch together feverishly. You keep this up, rubbing and blowing patiently hoping to create a spark that could be nursed into a fire. You keep rubbing, and blowing. You have all day and all night….. you have, positive thinking, because if you don’t you will surely freeze to death.

Persistence, – When you get tired you take a short break and then you get back to work. You tell yourself, “The fire will start”.

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Positivity,  You believe the fire will start. You keep your, positivity, by telling  yourself “I will have fire, I will stay warm, I will have food to cook and eat”. You let none of the negative thoughts that pop into your head linger, you send them back immediately. Negative thoughts such as, you don’t know how to a make fire, you are not a cave man, maybe the bush is wet and it will not light, you will die of hunger and cold because no one will find you.

No.. as soon as any of these thoughts come into your mind, you reject them and send them back!. You keep rubbing and blowing with increased vigor. You tell yourself “I shall live and not die”.

I use this vision to encourage myself when I am working hard and not seeing results. I need, patience, to keep on working hard knowing that one day I will succeed. I need, persistence,  to do it every day and, positivity, to believe that I will succeed one day.

You can do the same. Find an inspirational story and use it as your map. Some real life examples are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. Arnold built his empire and muscles,

One bicep at a time.

Arnold had the, patience, and the, persistence, to stick with his dream of becoming a world champion and playing the part of Hercules in the United States of America. His, Patience, Persistence, and, Positivity, assured him success.

Sylvester Stallone had to sell his dog for $50.00 because he was starving; but he had, patience, to wait until someone offered him the starring role for the script for Rocky, Persistence,  to keep pedaling it to over 1500 studios in New York and the belief and, positivity,  that he will succeed…… and he did.

How to Motivate yourself

You make goals… but then you procrastinate.

You write a to-do list… but then you don’t follow through.

And this happens again and again and again. Seriously, what’s the problem?

You are not, motivated, So how do you, motivate, yourself?

Why are we so good at thinking of what to do; but so terrible at actually, motivate yourself, to actually doing those things?

Procrastination is a mood-management technique, albeit (like eating or taking drugs) a shortsighted one. But we’re most prone to it when we think it will actually help… Well, far and away the most procrastination occurred among the bad-mood students who believed their mood could be changed and who had access to fun distractions. Motivate, yourself so you can leave procrastination in the dust.

How to use, Patience, to, Motivate, Yourself

Meryl Streep on, Patience:

I no longer have, patience, for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me.  I, motivate, myself by have a low threshold for time wasters. I have no, patience, for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.

I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no, patience, for anyone who does not deserve my, patience.”

The Power of Positive Thinking

The most famous work of Dr. Emoto was published in 1999 and is called ‘Messages from Water,’ which has sold millions of copies all over the world. In the book, Dr. Emoto explains in detail that what we say, feel, and what we listen to has an effect on water. The research clearly shows how the power of, positivity, can transform anything in our physical reality. He uses water as an example. Since human beings are made up primarily of water (60-75% depending on the source), water has a direct effect on us.

Dr. Emoto placed rice into three glass beakers and then fills the beakers with enough water to submerge the rice. To the first beaker, he states the phrase (in Japanese): “Thank you,” “You’re an idiot” to the second, and ignores the third.

A month later, the rice that was thanked fermented and gave a pleasant smell. The rice that was affronted turned black. Finally, the rice that was ignored began to rot. These depictions of the rice are clear in the video of the experiment.

In the end, Dr. Emoto is pictured explaining that how we treat children is especially important. According to Emoto, we should take special care in how we interact with them and ensure that attention is given. He explained that indifference does the greatest amount of harm, as demonstrated by the third beaker of rice in the video. It’s amazing how the jar with positive words was still white and fresh, when in our reality we would at least believe that it would definitely start to go bad. Amazing! That’s the power of, positivity, at work.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-4-have-a-positive-mind-set/

https://blog.myhelps.us/program-positive-change/

 

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5 Powerful Strategies to Achieve Any Goal

How to Set Strong Goals

Without a plan your, goals, are just a dream. The most important ingredient for success is a plan!
A plan is usually the distinguishing feature in the success or failure of any, goal.

A study of 100 students in business school found that 66% of students that wrote a business plan succeeded in business even though the business plan was not an accurate accounting of where the business ended up. It seemed that just formulating a plan makes you succeed because it creates a visionary.

Here are 5 strategies to help you achieve your, goals:

1. Faith,  You must believe in yourself.

  • A dream or can inspire you and motivate you to action only if you Believe that you can make it happen.

Some don’ts:

  • Don’t have a, plan B.
    When you have a, plan B, you are telling your subconscious that you don’t believe that the plan “A” is going to work.
  • Don’t tell yourself that your, goal, is not realistic. Just remember to reap where you plant.

“If you can think it you can achieve it” ~~Ophra Winfrey

  • Watch your self-talk and internal dialogue.
    Eg. Your, goal, is to be Regional Vice President Sales but; you tell yourself it will never happen because your boss does not like you. Whether that is a fact or not, you will never be promoted to Regional Vice President Sales until you replace that thought with a winning one.

 

  • 2. Clarity – Your , goals, must be clear.

    What do you want? What is your destination end? What is the vision?
    Would you like “Peace of mind?”
    Would you like “Financial freedom, and security?”
    Would you like “A higher quality of life for you and your family?”

It is not more money. It is not to own your own home your, goals, are what you are going to get from achieving these things.

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3. Jump in – Stop waiting for the right time.

  • Chris Gardner calls this “stop digging your potatoes”
    There is never a better time than the present.
    Don’t wait until you have the time to upgrade your education.
    Don’t wait until you are fired from the job you hate to look for a better one.
    Stop making excuses and jump in.

4. Understand your past to gain, clarity, for your, goals

  • Your past has valuable information about who you are and why you are. It is a storehouse of information.

“Those who cannot remember the past is bound to repeat it.”

It has evidence of where you get stuck, evidence of what you do when the going gets tough, which road do you choose, evidence of your beliefs.

Examine the movie of your life and understand the lessons this helps with self-mastery.
All experiences from your personal library are valuable to create self-awareness.

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5. Understand your Why. Why do you want to achieve this, goal.

  • Why do you want to leave a Legacy?
    Why would you like financial freedom?

It is the general belief that the organizing power of the Universe will help those whose, goals, are to serve humanity. Your Why should benefit others and not just yourself.

How to set Goals vs Objectives

Whether you’re working on a team project or defining, goals, for an entire company, it’s critical your employees are on the same page when it comes to terminology.

Goal setting, is different from objectives, often seem like two interchangeable phrases. “We have ambitious, goals, for the new year,” you might tell your marketing team, following up with, “Our objectives are aggressive, but entirely possible.”

When used in a marketing context, it’s easy to misconstrue. To ensure efficiency and unity, then, it’s vital your employees are up-to-date on the two terms you likely use when outlining your quarterly and yearly strategy.

Motivation for Goals is Purpose

Goals, are also different from purpose,  are almost similar and one could hardly come across any difference between the two at one glance. Purpose and, clarity, are interlinked, because purpose is the, motivation.  .

One of the main differences that can be seen between the two is in the time factor. People try to reach their achievements by setting deadlines. On the other hand, deadlines are not applicable in a purpose.

It can be called as the point one wishes to achieve. On the other hand, purpose can be called as the reason one aims at to achieve a goal. Unlike purposes, goals always go forward in a specific direction.

Purpose, which is all about direction, is that something that influences drive. Unlike dreams purpose is broader and deeper.

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Purpose is directly influenced by the values and beliefs one holds. Purpose is deeply rooted in a person. Unlike goals, purpose can b said to be central to human life.

Goals, and  purpose, can be measured whereas purpose cannot be measured. The end result can be seen whereas in purpose, it is not that visible. Achievement,  aims that a person seeks. It is that which one wants to accomplish. It involves the establishing of specific, realistic and attainable objectives.

Goals, have a specific target. On the other hand, Purpose does not have a specific aim. Goals, can be short term, long term or personal. However, a purpose cannot be short or long term but only pertains to something personal.

Purpose can be termed as a fundamental need of a human being, which gives a meaning to his actions.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-aim-and-purpose

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/

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7 reasons Mindfulness Meditation can Grow your Business

Mindfulness Meditation,  is not just for Buddhists and monks.  Meditation, unlocks the power you have within to take your business to the top.

When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, spirituality, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self.  As many successful entrepreneurs know, reduced stress  is the foundation to creating the business and lifestyle you want.  If you are not removing your limiting beliefs and constantly working on your vision, you are limiting your own growth and the growth of your company. You are the lid!

Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation

As a leader or an Entrepreneur there is no better way to overcome obstacles, rise to the top or be creative with out first quieting the noise in your head. When you become still you tap into your creative power by connecting to your source. During, mindfulness meditation, you experience that peace that surpasses all understanding that the bible talks about.  When you forget about all the things you have to do and just focus on the life inside you by witnessing your breathing, you move closer to becoming conscious and understand your purpose. Being quiet and still allows you to listen to instructions from the  higher power who guides you. It is said that it is easier to guide a horse in the direction it is running in; so when you fall into line with what God wants you to do for his Kingdom then your business and your life become less of a struggle.

The reasons we practice, mindfulness meditation, are as varied as the many ways there are to, meditate. In the West, most people are drawn to, mindfulness meditation, to quiet the internal chatter of the brain and to reduce stress. Mindfulness meditation, is indeed a very effective stress reducer, but its benefits—sometimes mysteriously hidden—are far more bountiful. The actual act of, mindfulness meditation, can be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath while repeating silently a, mantra, a word or phrase. for example the, om mantra, or the Gayatri mantra. There are countless traditions and no singular “correct” way to practice, mindfulness meditation.

Find a practice that you like and stick with it for a while. Notice how you feel as you go about your days. If you find that you have more patience, feel grounded and better able to respond to stressful situations, and are more in touch with your intuition or “gut feelings,” you are enjoying the many benefits of, mindfulness meditation.

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I practice, mindfulness meditation, by finding a quiet place in the morning as I drink my coffee. I listen to a, guided mindfulness meditation, tape on topics such as “activating consciousness“, visionary me meditation, “the law of attraction” etc. as I listen I clear my mind by mentally repeating a centering thought and witnessing my breathing.  At the end of my meditation I am  relaxed,  totally open and creative. I usually write some deep insights after my meditation sessions and I get answers from God and the Universe to questions I ask. This is the perfect way to become a visionary and an innovate leader.

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Mindfulness Meditation, is good for our Physical Bodies

Scientists gathering data on, mindfulness meditation, have found that a consistent practice of, mantra meditation, not only boosts the mind, but it also bolsters the body. Studies shows that, meditation, can help reverse heart disease, reduce pain, and support the immune system, better enabling it to fight disease.

The mind-body connection between stress and disease is abundantly apparent as science is finding that, mindfulness meditation, can lower production of the stress hormone cortisol. This means, mediators, are better able to adapt to stress in their lives.

2: Mindfulness Meditation, is good for Our Relationships

Paradoxically, while, meditation, helps us tune in and turn inward to our true essence, it also helps us detach from our own egos to connect with others in more meaningful ways. Couples counselors have found when they assign their clients,  mindfulness meditation, the couples become less angry, more self-reflective, and more loving. When we become aware of—and honor—our interconnection with other beings, we are able to recast our perspectives, see our worries in a different light, and embrace gratitude, which is the heart’s memory.

The bible teaches that we can’t change others only ourselves and when we, meditate, we tune into who we really are. Our ancestral legacy is a brain that is primed to focus on negative experiences and has a tendency to get stuck in conditioned patterns of thinking, returning again and again to thoughts of anxiety, depression, and limitation. So in our relationships we tend to focus on what we do not have instead of what we do have.  As you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as “witnessing awareness”—the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is extremely valuable in every relationship.

3: Mindfulness Meditation, helps prolong our lives

When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self.  Yogis and doctors both agree, mindfulness meditation, even just a few minutes of deep breathing—relaxes the brain, reduces anxiety, and decreases depression. We say we can’t afford the time to, meditate, but the truth is we can’t afford not to. When we tell ourselves we don’t have time to exercise, or meditate, then we will make time for sickness and depression. During most of our waking lives, our minds are engaged in a continuous internal dialogue in which the meaning and emotional associations of one thought triggers the next.

We hear a snippet of music and suddenly we’re thinking about the first time we heard that song with an old boyfriend or girlfriend and how that relationship ended. If we’re still holding emotional pain over that ending, those feelings may bubble up and then our mind may veer into criticism, self-pity, or worries about the future. Mindfulness Meditation, is one of the best tools we have to counter the brain’s negativity bias, release accumulated stress, foster positive experiences and intentions, and enjoy the peace of present moment awareness. A large body of research has established that having a regular meditation practice produces tangible benefits for mental and physical health, including:

  • Decreased blood pressure and hypertension
  • Lowered cholesterol levels
  • Reduced production of “stress hormones,” including cortisol and adrenaline
  • More efficient oxygen use by the body
  • Increased production of the anti-aging hormone DHEA
  • Improved immune function
  • Decreased anxiety, and insomnia

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4: Mindfulness Meditation, Reduces Stress and Burnout

What role is more stressful than the role of a Leader? None, as a Leader you are responsible for the lives of your employees, families, and your commitment to your community? Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress can contribute to:

  • high blood pressure,
  • heart disease,
  • stomach ulcers,
  • autoimmune diseases,
  • anxiety,
  • cancer,
  • insomnia,
  • chronic fatigue,
  • obesity,
  • depression,
  • and accelerated aging.

During, mindfulness meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response—that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs. All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can—or staying to fight. Although few people reading this face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a spouse, or a disagreement.

Regular, meditation, dissipates accumulated stress and cultivates a state of restful alertness. There are many compelling studies showing the power of, mindfulness meditation, to relieve stress and promote inner calm. For example, a 2011 study published in the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal found that full-time workers who spent a few hours each week practicing, mindfulness meditation, reported a significant decrease in job stress, anxiety, and depressed mood.  The reason, meditation, is so popular among successful individuals is it helps release stress, lets go of excess thoughts and expand awareness. As you dive deeper into your, mindfulness meditation, practice you see people events and circumstances as they really are, not as they are perceived to be. It allows you to have an internal Locus of control. That means that you don’t react to external stimuli but are proactive with action plans and goals. It also means that as challenges arise in your business, you will not get overwhelmed; but face those challenges calmly and efficiently.  As an Entrepreneur Leader, meditation allows you to turn your failures into successes.

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5: Mindfulness Meditation, Enhances Your Concentration, Memory, and Ability to Learn

As researchers have found, mindfulness meditation, can help you tap into your brain’s deepest potential to focus, learn, and adapt. While scientists used to believe that beyond a certain age, the brain couldn’t change or grow, we now know that the brain has a quality known as plasticity, enabling it to grow new neurons and transform throughout our lives.  Meditation is a powerful tool for awakening new neural connections and even transforming regions of the brain.  A recent study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that after only eight weeks of meditation, participants experienced beneficial growth in the brain areas associated with memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress regulation.  In addition, the meditators reported decreased feelings of anxiety and greater feelings of calm. This study adds to the expanding body of research about the brain’s amazing plasticity and ability to change habitual stress patterns.

Many other studies provide evidence for the value of, mindfulness meditation, in improving the ability to stay focused in world filled with increasing distractions, and demands on our attention. For example, research conducted by the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center showed that teenagers and adults with ADHD who practiced various forms of, meditation for just eight weeks improved their ability to concentrate on tasks, even when attempts were made to distract them. In the world of the Entrepreneur Leader, the ability to focus when you are pulled in so many different directions is extremely important to your success.

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6: Mindfulness Meditation, Improves Your Creativity and Problem-Solving Skills in your Business

We each have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day—unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. Mindfulness meditation, is a powerful practice for going beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open to new insights, intuition, and ideas. And as we meditate and focus on our breathing, we stop this continuous cycle.

 

7: Mindfulness Meditation, Decreases Anxiety, and Insomnia

The emotional effects of sitting quietly and going within are profound.  The deep state of rest produced by, mindfulness meditation, triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Each of these naturally occurring brain chemicals has been linked to different aspects of happiness:

Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, feel rewarded, and maintain focus. Serotonin has a calming effect. It eases tension and helps us feel less stressed and more relaxed and focused. Low levels of this neurotransmitter have been linked to migraines, anxiety, bipolar disorder, apathy, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, and insomnia. Oxytocin (the same chemical whose levels rise during sexual arousal and breastfeeding), is a pleasure hormone. It creates feelings of calm, contentment, and security, while reducing fear and anxiety.  Endorphins are most commonly known as the chemicals that create the exhilaration commonly labeled “the runner’s high.” These neurotransmitters play many roles related to well being, including decreasing feelings of pain and reducing the side effects of stress.

Additional Resources 

https://blog.myhelps.us/medical-intuitive-readings-what-your-spirit-is-telling-you-through-symptoms/

 

 

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15 Benefits of Hiring an Executive Coach

Life Coach Myrna Young

“The goal of the, executive coach, is the goal of good management and that is  to make the most of an organization’s valuable human resources.” –  Harvard Business Review Organizations that embrace the culture that their employees and leaders are their most valuable resources, invest in the development of these resources.

Life Coach Myrna Young
Life Coach Myrna Young

Introduction to, Executive Coaching

There are four commonly used tools for improving human performance: 

  • Coaching,
  • Consulting,
  • Training, and
  • Therapy

There are important differences between them. Just as it is important to know when to hire a consultant, it is equally important to know the when and why for using an, executive  coach.

Why hire a, Executive coach?

  1. You would like to improve Personal transformation
  2. To develop the future leaders in your organization
  3. Lead change to create high performing, results driven organizations
  4. Help managers learn how to be, coaches, to their employees
  5. Create an organizational culture that value learning, and  continuous improvement.

When should you  Hire an, Executive Coach

  1. You want to fine-tuning your vision for your business;
  2. You want to empower and motivate your staff;
  3. You want to improve the communication and listening skills of your managers and help them become more confident. It is one of the secrets to success. 
  4. You want your leaders and managers to gain competence in the soft skills domain.

 

Benefits of, Executive Coaching

Executives identified fifteen significant benefits of, executive coaching, as a leadership development tool. They are:

  1. Continuous one-on-one attention that facilitates growth
  2. Expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from a, Life coach.
  3. Self-awareness – including bringing light to blind spots.
  4. Personal accountability for development – An, executive coach, can hold you accountable for work you promised to do between sessions.
  5. Just-in-time learning.
  6. Sustained interpersonal skills development.
  7. Consistent, long-term development that gets embedded and becomes part of your routine.
  8. Identify executive strengths and development needs
  9. Leverage existing strengths and improve performance
  10. An, executive coach, can create an Executive Strategy with an Action Plan and  accountability to help executives stay on track
  11. Adopt and/or reinforce executive leadership competencies crucial to the organization’s culture.
  12. Positive and sustainable behavior changes
  13. Develop leadership skills and practices; learn coaching skills they can implement.
  14. Enhanced career planning and development with an action-oriented plan
  15. An, executive coach, can coach to  greater work/life balance.
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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Executives claimed expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from an, executive coach. Dialogue, fueled through powerful questions, is at the heart of the, executive coaching, process. In coaching conversations, executives think out loud, become more reflective and gain access to their own tacit knowledge and unexplored ideas. The, executive coach,  role is to act as a sounding board, confidant, partner, challenger and catalyst for change.

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Benefits of, Executive Coaching, – Case Study

Jack has excellent technical skills and has fast-tracked to a senior executive position. He was certain he was a good leader — that is, until his, executive coach, asked him questions about his team’s excitement and engagement levels. It became clear to the, executive coach, that Jack’s team was frustrated. Jack was furious and “insulted” and he vowed never to work with his, executive coach, again. Subsequently, Jack pondered his strong reaction. He realized his, executive coach, had hit a nerve. “That’s why I reacted like that, because it was true,” he says. Jack is still working with his, executive coach, and continues to learn and develop. He appreciates his, executive coach,  role in helping him gain self-awareness, which means understanding his strengths as well as his blind spots. “I don’t have these kinds of discussions with anybody else,” he says. “I am on such a straight path that I can’t see what’s going on. That’s where, executive coaching,  really helps me.” Jack now expects his, executive coach,  to hit a nerve from time to time. He sums it up this way: “The value to me is not for an, executive coach, to be really nice to me. I don’t need another friend. The value to me is having somebody to help me see what I can’t see.”

Executive Coaching,  acts as a mirror for Jack, providing him with honest feedback and revealing gaps so he can see himself more clearly, as well as help him to identify goals and promoting sustained action.

 

Executive Coaching and Personal Accountability for development

Some executives use sports metaphors to describe,  coaching.  Anne, a high Achiever, thinks of, coaching,  as a springboard for reaching her personal best at work. “Olympic medalists have, life coaches,” she says. “I want to be an Olympic medalist in business.” Anne regards her, coach, as her “personal trainer.” The common denominator in, executive coaching, and personal training is, accountability. You can learn proper techniques in a few training sessions at the gym, but it is easy to lose your way, by cutting corners, using improper techniques or missing workouts. Ongoing personal training creates momentum and accountability for development. The same is true for, executive coaching. As Anne says,

“Executive Coaching, provides an objective outside person to help you do assessments, set developmental plans and hold you accountable.”

Anne has invested heavily in her career, through education and hard work. She views, coaching, as another form of investment. She and her, coach, established developmental targets on day one. Now they have weekly meetings, either in person or on the telephone, to discuss her progress toward her targets and identify obstacles that are impeding her progress.  Through coaching, Anne holds herself accountable for her continued success. Her bottom line:

“Coaching gets me from where I am today to where I want to be”

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

 

Just-in-time learning

Executive coaching, facilitates what is called “just-in-time learning,” which is all about learning on the spot. Clients can practice and role play.  Jack told his, coach, that he wanted to “take a stand” in his next meeting, and that he wanted to come across as confident, self-assured and assertive. Coaching, provided Jack with a dress rehearsal. He used the session to develop a strategy for the meeting. He knew that thinking on his feet in front of a group of people was not one of his strengths, so he and his coach brainstormed potential questions. Jack prepared his answers and did some role playing. The next day Jack was outstanding. He called it “a powerful experience.” The, executive coaching session, had facilitated just-in-time learning.

 

How, Executive Coaching,  Helps the Organization:

  • Reduce turnover and retain top performing staff
  • Enhanced individual and organizational performance
  • Improved organizational strength
  • Perception of management as being committed to employees and their growth and success
  • Improved employee morale, more committed employees, thus greater productivity
  • Retention of high potential talent and talent magnet
  • Better client relationships
  • Positive work environment, thus greater productivity
  • Executives learn coaching techniques which they can implement with their teams for improved relationships and productivity, as well as enhanced employee development.
  • Enhanced organizational performance
  • Positively affect organizational culture
  • Succession planning and development of key executives
  • Reputation of investing in executives through development
  • Enhanced reputation within industry
  • Ability to recruit key talent
  • Positioned for continued growth and success
  • “Executive Coaching, is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.”
  • “It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them. Clients say coaching brings out their best by helping them focus, break down tasks and clarify their values.” – Fortune Magazine
  • Improve the existing culture of the organization

Additional Resources

Ten Characteristics of a Great Leader

How to Run Your Sales Meetings like a Coach

How to Run Your Sales Meetings like a Coach

The Importance of Leadership to Organizational Success

 

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Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares

 

In her book ” Out of the Snares, Author Bernadette Trotman shares how, self love, can bring you out of the snares  of, poverty, addiction, child abuse and any other snare of the trapper.

The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful! and, self love, is this love turned inside.
Love including, self love is  the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations of, addictions, and, generational curses.

God’s Love for Humanity

God’s love, for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.

A mother’s love, for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.

The love we have for our wife and husband keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.

We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!

Research shows that this positive energy force cleanses our ethereal bodies and removes patches of stuck energies that can cause disease.

Get out of the Snares with Self Love

In my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement,
I share my encounters with love. These encounters have shaped my current world and allowed me to embrace love because I know from personal experiences how good it feels!

The energy of love combined with, sexual energy, is even more powerful!
When you transmute, sexual energy, for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!

But, it all starts with self-love.
Justin Bieber – Love Yourself (PURPOSE : The Movement)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyEuk8j8imI

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

In order for you to give love to another you must first have, self love, inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.

You have to love God, your creator.

When you have, self love, you gain, self confidence

Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1ECHTnc64

Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.

This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?

Who wouldn’t have, self love, after all this.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!

Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense, self love.

In his book “How to win Business and Influence Friends” by Tim Sanders, Chief solutions Officer at Yahoo calls this BizLove from, self love.
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Is-Killer-App-Influence/dp/1400046831

This book shows how to be a LoveCat at work.

Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work with, self love:

1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word, self love, whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.

All in all, self love, is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.

It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back

Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE

If you are an author and would like to be featured in this Blog, radio and podcast

Click this link to order your interview

Author Interview, Transform your mind podcast
Author Interview

https://www.fiverr.com/share/d0DP2g

 

“Small Business, How to Mind your own business while working your day job”
Love yourself enough to start building your personal Brand.

Click here for more information

Small Business:How to Mind Your Own Business while Working your Day Job

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

Additional Resources

“About Myrna Young Life Coach”

 

How to love yourself

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How Spiritual Awakening Can Solve Life’s Problems

Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream.  When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness.   Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence.  Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.

Introduction to Spiritual Awakening

Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!

The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”

Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.

Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way;  not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us.  Live in the now”.

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When your, awareness,  or,  spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened,  your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality.  Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.

The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness,  you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.

There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.

Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.

 

Level 1: Contracted Awareness  or no Spirituality 

This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening.  Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move.  As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality.  If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:

  • Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
  • You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
  • There is an underlying anxiety and fear of failure.
  • Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
  • As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.

You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:

  • Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality,  that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with  positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.

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Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening 

This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality.  For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:

  • The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
  • You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
  • More people connect with you. You get council
  • You approach decisions with confidence.
  • You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
  • With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.

You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and,  spirituality.

 

Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening  or Enlightenment

Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.

  • You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
  • Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
  • The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
  • The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
  • You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
  • You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.

To be completely established in pure, awareness, of,  spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.

Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness,  to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.

Problems with, Spirituality

Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and,  spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:

  • You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
  • At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
  • You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
  • While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
  • You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.

It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness,  that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.

 

Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening

Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.

 

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

 

 

 

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How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

How to Change Core Beliefs

 

Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true.  What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.

Listen to full interview here: 

For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.

Introduction Core Beliefs 

Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.

The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:

  • How we feel love,
  • our self-worth,
  • how we feel security, and
  • fulfillment.
  • Life after death. 

Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal. 

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs 

A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief.  Therefore, the rules that apply to the,  Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.

Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith  Without Works Is Dead”.

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief? 

If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away.  Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.

Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world.  Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Look upon what’s happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.

Are there any patterns you see? For example:

  • Do all your relationships fail?
  • Are you in constant debt?
  • Do you find it hard to keep friends?

Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:

  • What do I want?
  • What would I have to believe in order to have this?

Next, you’re going to re-program yourself.

You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief,  For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!

Additional resources:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.

For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.

This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-do-you-define-success/
https://blog.myhelps.us/what-are-the-secrets-to-success-my-10-secrets/
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Is the Secret to Love, Sex?

How to become an open communicator

Is the secret to, Love, Sex? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio Podcast, I interview, Love Coach, James Green. James answers the question “Is, Sex, the most important factor in a relationship?

So, let me ask you. What do you think is the most important factor in a relationship? In my research for this interview. I found this article
on the secret to a long marriage. Hint it was not, Sex!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Secret to a long Marriage not, sex 

 

But in all seriousness. We have heard the phrase ” A Happy wife a happy life”
Here is another article about a couple married 79 years.

“Just want you to know that you’re still the one I would choose. Still the one I give my heart to, still the one I love.”

So, what’s their secret?

“To support one another, whatever the problems may be, good or bad. Stick together. That’s about it,” Bertha said.

“You know why this lasted 79 years? She has the last word,” Dan added with a smile.

Let me introduce my guest this week:

James is a certified Love and Emotional Intelligence coach. His mission is to teach people how to love themselves as well as love each other. James specialty is Relationship and Personal Development Coaching.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Show notes Secret to Love 

1. Question 1: Tell us of your journey to become a Love and emotional Intelligence coach. Do you have a personal story that made you specialize in this field?

I was a single parent and realized that when looking for a mate, I had to look for someone who would fit into my lifestyle as a single father. The woman had to accept me and my son as a package deal. That made me look at factors other than, Sex.

As far as my journey to becoming a Love and Emotional intelligence coach, I found I had the aptitude to reach people. People opened up to me. I remember once standing in the line at McDonald’s and this man in line started talking to me telling me his story. I decided to get my certification as a, Life Coach
2. Question 2: How does emotional intelligence fit into the relationship dynamics?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to hear what your partner is not saying. It is the ability to realize that when your partner says Fine, I am okay with that. for example. She is not fine with that, from her tonality or her body language.
Another facet of emotional intelligence is the ability to keep your cool and not fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.

3. Question 3: What problems do find are the most common and how do you coach your clients to solve them?
I find Trust, Communication and the inability to seek out coaching until after they start experiencing problems.

Couples tend to think that coaching is not needed until there is a huge problem in their relationship and when I hear that I ask them do you also see a doctor AFTER you have Cancer?

4. Question 4: If you had a magic wand to solve common relationship problems, what would you solve?

If I had a magic wand to solve relationship problems, I would solve trust. Lack of trust is one of the most destructive elements in a relationship.

5. Question 5: When you say that relationship is not a 3-letter word, what do you mean?
The topic of our show today “Is the secret to love, Sex?”
Couples would have us believe that great sex keeps the relationship going or strong.
While sex is very important in a relationship it is not the most important factor.
I believe that communication is the most important factor.
Click the podcast link to hear from James directly as he answers this question.

6. Question 6: Why would you say that couples do not proactively seek relationship coaching and wait until there is a problem to get counselling?
Culture, conditioning. Women go to get an annual checkup every year. They get a PAP test to proactively check for any cervical problems. But this same woman would not think of going to a relationship coach to proactively check to see if her relationship is in danger of abnormal growth!

For the men I use the analogy of the oil change because men hate going to the doctor for an annual check up. But they do change their oil every 3 to 5 months. ( I had a laugh at this one. I asked James if he was suggesting men change their wife’s, as often as they change the oil in their cars?)
He assured me he was not saying that but letting the men know that just like the car engine their relationships need regular maintenance.

Tony Robbins also has lots of empowerment advice for couples.
Click the link below to understand how to create better relationships from Tony Robbins


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Additional Resources

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

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How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

fly like an eagle

Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.

Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life,  to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life,  to elevate your life to greater heights.

In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like,  eagles in a storm.  Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.

Introduction 

Here are some characteristics of the, Eagle:

How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life 

The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It’s mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.

The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.

When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life,  like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.

The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ,  enables us to ride the,  winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.

Eagles, in the, Storm

1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life,  to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

Storms, bring destruction

I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?

My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can’t fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.

What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?

The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.

It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!

I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.

The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.

How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.

Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink

But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24

Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.

“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)

Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?

Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.

The,  storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!

Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!

Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.

1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ,  tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)

2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.

3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.

4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.

Maybe you could benefit from a Training Kit that teaches you how to Maximize your achievement and Fly above the storms. Click below to order The Maximum Achievement Training Kit from best selling author Brian Tracy.

 

5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/