Are you praying and, patiently waiting, on, God, to answer your prayers? Be aware of why you want this thing. Sometimes we are not ready to receive that what which we ask for and that is why the, almighty God, does not answer our, prayers, when we ask.
Patiently waiting? Be careful what you wish for.
It is important to understand or become conscious of why you want the things or certain people to come into your life. If you are, patiently waiting, and asking, God, for a child, be conscious of why you want a child. Is it because you want someone to love you or you want something to love? A puppy can satisfy that need.
If you are, waiting patiently, on, God, for a spouse, is it because you want to share your life and be important to someone, or is it because you need help with your bills? Awareness is the key to understanding your desires.
When what you want does not show up, what do you do?
Do you become depressed and lose faith in God?
In the first chapter of my book “Out Of The Snares”, I share with you my journey to adopting my twin girls. I write about where the desire originated from. I share how I responded to the resistance offered up by the Universe and people at the Department of Children's and Families. I share with you how the Laws of Detachment worked for me.
The, Law of Detachment, works with, faith. Faith, that God will grant you the desires of your heart, so you give this desire to, God, and you let him work out the details. Detachment, helps you to patiently wait for God. You are not detaching from the outcome; but from the journey. You are saying to yourself, I am patiently waiting, on God. I have , faith, that I will have the desires of my heart. I will become a mother. If I don't birth a child, God, will send me an adopted child. That is, detachment, from the journey. You don't care about the path that, God, uses to grant you your desire, only that in the end, you have a child.
If a desire comes from your true self
It has within it the power to manifest.
For example: let's say that you are going on a road trip to Florida from California. Your GPS navigational system can take you, the fastest way, the longest scenic way, or the cheapest way to avoid tolls. Regardless, of the route you take, you will be confident that route will take you to Florida.
In a similar way, you have to be confident in, God, that all roads will lead you to your destination. So, be prepared to, wait patiently, on God and don't become frustrated and give up.
The trick is to detach yourself from all the craziness and petty people trying to take from you what, God, has purposed for you to have. You must also remember that, God's time, usually does not coincide with your time, so learn to, wait patiently, and get yourself ready.
Get Yourself ready while patiently waiting on God
If you are asking, God, for a promotion, learn the skills necessary for this new job.
If you are asking, God, for a child, learn how to be the best parent ever, read parenting books.
If you are asking, God, for a spouse, learn how to have effective relationships.
If you need to lose weight, work on it. Be the best that you can be and when, God, feels you are ready, he will give you the victory, because you serve an, Almighty God, who is able to do all things.
Two things about Patiently Waiting on God
#1: Waiting on, God’s, plans requires patience and, faith.
It’s in the, patiently waiting, that our, faith, is forged in the fires of trials. In the waiting, we discover that, God’s, in charge and we’re nothing on our own.
#2: Waiting is hard, but the wait has a purpose
God is never accidental. Everything he does has a purpose.
Sometimes the wait is for, God, to align other pieces of the plan. Sometimes the wait is for, God, to align the pieces of our own heart.
“Out of the Snares” Now Available on Amazon in eBook format.
Download your copy today! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE
Print version available in September.
Take control of your thoughts and attitudes with a, positive mindset. Get rid of ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts.
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha
Imagine your mind as a garden. Positive thoughts and a, positive mindset, are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts, are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate your happiness, by cutting off sunlight. Just like plants we need sunlight to thrive.
Negative thoughts, can take the form of:
fear,
self-doubt,
guilt,
anger,
blame,
insecurity,
prophesying or any thought that makes you feel bad!
You need to kill the ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts
https://youtu.be/SKebEHGENJw
Automatic Negative thoughts of Fear –
Fear, is defined as False Events Appearing Real, is the number one reason that we don’t achieve success in this life. Fear, of the unknown, that feeling of uncertainty. Fear, is the bottom feeder of all the, negative emotions. When you are living in, fear, you feel very bad and you attract more bad things into your experience.
One way to Kill these, automatic negative thoughts, is to develop a, positive mindset. Imagine what is the worst that could happen and develop, positive thinking, about the outcome. Face the, fear, in your mind and say death where is your sting! Take it to your subconscious and dream about it. Once you face, fear, it loses its hold on you. Talk back to this, fear. Move up the emotional scale with anyone of the, negative emotions. Eg. You can become angry that your spouse is treating you a certain way, instead of being afraid of being alone if you left the relationship. See yourself alone and loving it.
There is also a positive side to this ANT.
If you are afraid of losing something be it your spouse, your job, your home; it tells you that these things are important to you and that you should do everything in your power to keep them. For example: if you fear losing your spouse, then you should work on keeping the marriage fresh, you should keep yourself attractive and don’t let yourself get to 300 lbs, serve your spouse and make him/her feel special.
Lack of self-confidence is a very powerful, ANT. One of the most essential character traits to have is self-confidence. It is sexy and it allows you to command attention. When these, automatic negative thoughts, are telling you that you are not good enough; you will not get that promotion because you don’t have a degree, for example. Talk back to it and tell it that you are the best person for the job and that it is their loss if they don’t hire you. If you don’t, you will never move from where you are today. You will never be an over achiever or the top sales person on a team! You need self-confidence to achieve success.
Have a Positive mindset and get rid of Guilt –
Guilt, is a result of your conscience telling you that you have violated your own core value. It is telling you that you did something that is moving you away from your predetermined goal. You can talk back to these, automatic negative thoughts, by telling it that you have recognized your mistake and that you have forgiven yourself. Don’t let the, guilt, and shame arrest you and keep you in bondage. A lot of people wash away this guilt with drugs and alcohol.
Automatic Negative Thoughts of Anger –
Anger, ANTS, keep telling you that someone had no right to do something. The more you think about it, the angrier you get. Psychologists say that anger is like an iceberg. What you see is just the tip, that there is more ice for miles below the surface. If you are conscious that you have an, Anger problem, then you should understand (with the help of a Therapist) what is causing your anger. You can talk back to this, ANT, and tell it that you cannot control what someone else does; the only person you can control is yourself.
Automatic Negative Thoughts of Blame –
The blame, ANT, can be very destructive. When you blame others for the results you are having in your life, you assume the role of the victim. As the victim, you have no power to facilitate change. You talk back to this, ANT, by becoming a Player. As a Player you take back control. Regardless of what the dealer is showing, you can still win! You are not the product of your circumstances. Everyone has a story. It is how you handle adversity and challenges that define and grow you. In my book “Out of the Snares” I never blamed my childhood abuser. I instead chose to look at the positives I learned from that experience. Life is full of good and evil. Every evil person has a good side and every good person has an evil side.
The prophesying, automatic negative thoughts, talks to you about what it knows about the future! It tells you things like “you are never going to close that sale”. “The customer is going to string you along and they will never buy” or “it is never going to work out”. You can talk back to this, ANT, by declaring that IT cannot predict the future. It does not have a crystal ball!
Once you learn to recognize these, automatic negative thoughts, and learn to deal with them by sending them packing, then you can replace them with, Positive Thoughts. Positive thoughts, are like flowers, they beautify your garden and bring smiles to anyone who stops and pays attention to their beauty. In a similar way, positive mindset, make you beautiful to anyone who you have interpersonal relations with. But the beauty of a, positive mindset, is that they make you feel good. Like attracts like and before you know it, you have an abundance of good things becoming part of your experience.
I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous it is to let the weeds of, negative thinking, take over your mind. Just like in a natural garden, it you left the weeds unattended, they thrive more than the flowers or plants. In a similar way when you allow the, ANTS, to run free in your head; they snuff out all the joy from your life. All you then see is darkness, because they are blocking the sunlight from getting in!
In my book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to keep a, positive mindset. Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/
No matter how diligent you are about your wellness routine, your body is still a repository for dangerous toxins from the environment and everyday products so it is important to, detox your body. We are most times tricked by misleading labels that use words like “natural” or “healthy,” that are full of preservatives, nitrates, antibiotics, and hormones.
Today on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Life Coach Kim McDaniel.
Kim is going to teach us, How to Detox the Body, and, Soul, for Internal and External Success. Kim is the author of the book “Come out with your hands Up – The Joy of Surrendering on God's terms”
Why detoxing is important:
Detoxing your body, is important because your body is your asset. Building sky scrapers on weak foundations can be detrimental. In the same manner, piling on outer successes without addressing the internal structure, can look great from the outside, but cracks in the foundation will have one of two outcomes – explosion or implosion. Regularly, detox your body, to help to ensure the integrity of the structure – our structure – and it must be intentional.
The function of the Soul
Detox your body, and your, soul. The function of the, soul, is to indicate it's desire.
The function of the mind is to choose from it's alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
The, soul, speaks to you in feelings. Feelings are the language of the, soul.
There comes a time in the evolution of every, soul, when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the spirit. No longer the attainment of worldly success, but the realization of self.
Upon death, the body and mind are not dropped. The body changes form, leaving it's most dense part behind, but retaining it's outer shell, joining with the spirit as one energy mass of three dimensions.
How to Detox your body Naturally
Choose to, detox your body, naturally instead of using chemicals. The rewards are many. You won’t just be healthier when you, detox your body, you’ll have more energy, boost your immune system, and improve your cognitive abilities. With that in mind, here are 3 ways to, detox your body, that is to cleanse your body of harmful chemicals and other toxins.
Drink green tea. It’s not a myth that green tea has powerful antioxidant effects to, detox your body. Antioxidants help the body counteract “free radicals,” dangerous compounds that result from toxic influences in the body.
Drink more water. Drinking plenty of water is one of the best ways to, detox your body. Water helps eliminate chemicals from your intestines and kidneys, which makes it an ideal for, detoxing.
Take a steam bath. This should be the capstone of every successful body, detoxing, process. Steam therapy helps provide cellular-deep elimination of stubborn toxins that accumulate in your body.
How frequently should one do a detox for the body?
This is a really good question because if you, detox your body, for too long or too often you can loss valuable nutrients along with the toxins and leave your body depleted.
For this reason I wouldn’t recommend doing a ‘full on’ cleanse were you restrict your diet for more than 2 to 4 times a year.
Diabetics also need to be careful of, detoxing, because they require a steady supply of energy. If you are ill, it is advisable to seek medical supervision for any, detoxification process.
If you practice vegetarianism or veganism you don't consume as many toxins as meat and diary eaters so you need to, detox your body, less often.
Detoxing the “soul” – what exactly does that refer to?
Detoxing your body, is vitally important, but when will we take the same consideration for our, souls?
When you, detox your body, you put yourself on a special diet and carefully monitor three basic things:
Healthy, clean, detoxifying food and drink
Anything harmful, like chemicals and toxins, caffeine and harmful medicine
Things that promote your health and help purge toxins
There are many more toxins attacking your, soul, than your body, and just like your body, it’s not good! The toxins—sinful habits, lack of prayer, inappropriate hobbies—in your, soul, are so bad for you that they can damage your body, too. If only we could test the state of our, soul, at the doctor’s office we would become conscious of these toxins.
You’ve probably heard of how to, detox your body, intended to cleanse your body and jumpstart better health and weight loss. But what about a, brain detox? Your brain is the most metabolically active organ in your body. As such, it can be damaged from environmental toxins. It is also vulnerable to toxic relationships, toxic habits, and toxic thinking patterns. In fact, it’s your brain that carries the heaviest toxic load in your entire body. And for many of us, that load has never been greater. With the pandemic, rampant anxiety, and other stressors, now is the best time ever to do a brain detox.
No science to, detoxing, the brain. If your brain has been assaulted by toxic substances, toxic people, or toxic thinking, it puts you at risk for cognitive and mental health problems. Functional brain imaging with SPECT can help you see the health of your brain and understand areas that need optimization. A troubled brain can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your emotional and cognitive well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.
What is the relevance of building fences – I thought success looks like building bridges.
Tell me a little about your Get in S.H.A.P.E. program to Detox Your Body
S – Stress and Sleep
H – Hydration
A – Alkaline
P- Purpose
E – Energy and Exercise
There is another way to, Detox the body, and the, Soul!
Take that much needed break from your hectic city life and explore the soul-cleansing North-East.
Renee Garcia teaches what is, reality transurfing, and how we can use it to improve our frequency, our thoughts and alternate reality.
Listen to the full interview here:
Renée is a lifelong entrepreneur, a Certified Reality Transurfing instructor, and an Alternatives Space adventurer – endorsed by Vadim Zeland the author and creator of, Reality Transurfing.
Having ventured deeply into the metaphysical world of Reality Creation she has transformed personal failure into success, poverty into abundance, sickness into healing, and a bleak worldview into one brimming with joy and magic. Renée has employed, Reality Transurfing, to discover fulfillment, true purpose in life and connect with the highest version of herself.
With a self-built practical methodology and magical wand in hand, she is now empowering others around the world to do so the same.
What was your journey into the self development and reality transurfing space?
Renee – I don't want to say I had an unfortunate childhood or an unfortunate background because I later used my background to help other people. I now view all the parts of my life that I was ashamed of or I didn't like or I felt disadvantaged, as data to help my, transurfing, clients understand reality jumping.
All of that stuff that happened in my childhood really helped me in gaining success for myself. I had achieved a good deal of success for myself given that I wasn't college educated. I didn’t even graduate from high school.
I managed to start my own business and gained success. I had this outward-facing image that a lot of people perceived as successful; but I was very damaged inside. reality transurfing, helped me to connect with and the void of these things and sort of broke me in what I call my pre-transurfing reality.
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Reality Transurfing allow you to choose your reality
Reality transurfing, started for me when I was about 35 years old. I woke up one morning and realized that I was utterly miserable. So I decided to take some pretty bold steps. I disconnected from life as I knew it in the big city. I gave up my business, moved out to the country and just went inward for about a year searching for answers.
It was at this time that I found, reality transurfing. This was about six years ago. I was not from a world of, self-development, or, self-help. I had gone to conventional therapy for a number of years just to get over some of my childhood trauma and, poverty mentality.
A lot from my mindset was holding me back; but when I found, reality transurfing, it was completely new knowledge, completely new information to me. I immediately saw what I had done to get myself into that place where life broke me.
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Reality transurfing, is very big in Russia where the knowledge originated about 15 years ago. I saw massive transformationin my mindset, my worldview, my outlook on life, my success, everything.
I decided right then that I was going to help others change their mindset with, reality transurfing.
It was at this time that I found, reality transurfing. This was about six years ago. I was not from a world of, self-development, or, self-help. I had gone to conventional therapy for a number of years just to get over some of my childhood trauma and, poverty mentality.
A lot from my mindset was holding me back; but when I found, reality transurfing, it was completely new knowledge, completely new information to me. I immediately saw what I had done to get myself into that place where life broke me.
Renee – That's all sort of developing now and it's really fascinating the types of people that come into the, reality transurfing, community. There are a number of people I certified as, transurfing instructors. There are psychologists in Mexico using, reality transurfing, as a tool.
Lots of therapists and lots of psychologists, people that are involved in the more metaphysical side of of self-development are using, reality transurfing. It's kind of like quantum physics meets therapy so it's appealing.
We like to say that it's, the law of attraction, for smart people. It's a much more evolved version of the, law of attraction, with all the blank spots filled in. We obviously know that there's something to law of attraction; but why does, law of attraction, work? Reality transurfing, fills in all those why's of why law of attraction works.
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Renee – Reality transurfing, essentially means surfing multiple realities. What I'm talking about is, quantum jumping. So what does, quantum jumping, mean? The best way for me to describe it and make it relatable and understandable for everyone is to use myself as an example.
I told you that I had an unfortunate childhood. There was trauma there, I didn't graduate from high school, I didn't go to college. That is a version of reality that is available to me.
But I'm sitting here talking to you on a podcast right where I'm an expert on, reality transurfing, I'm an expert on a self-development book that was written in Russia and kind of exotic, I'm leading a movement of people and I'm considered a thought leader. I'm on the cutting edge of a self-development technology and people want me to come on their podcasts and people want me to give seminars and people want to fly me around and have me speak on stage.
So this is an alternate version of reality that I’ve accessed using the concepts in the, reality transurfing, book. We use this analogy to explain the, transurfing, modality of turning a dial on a television or a radio, like changing the channel.
Our power as creators to be able to choose which channel we turn to.
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Myrna – This morning I was listening to Dr Joe Dispenza on a podcast and he was talking about something very similar to this. He said to imagine the future you want and shift your reality to believe you already have it.
If something is bugging you right now or you're angry or maybe you're looking at past trauma, one way to change the channel is to think about what you're dreaming of in the future.
Renee -Yes we can play victim that channel doesn't bring happiness, that channel brings victimhood.
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There are 11 core concepts of, transurfing. If you were to adopt just one concept from the, reality transurfing, modality it will help you to see reality in a different way.
Myrna – Awesome let's talk about the core concepts or core modalities of, reality transurfing.
Renee – I'll describe the first five. There's 11 core concepts and if you split them right down the middle, the first five concepts represent a donut hole. This hole signifies you're not living your best life. You're irritated, you don't like the state of affairs in the world, you don’t like USA politics etc. You are depressed, maybe have anxiety and don't feel your life has meaning.
The first five concepts of, reality transurfing, are going to help you get up out of that hole. The next five, transurfing, concepts are going to help you build a foundation and a new structure.
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Transurfing Steps
The first step in, transurfing, is to help you develop your connection with this alternative reality and realize that you can create from it.
The second step is to get off entities that have adhered to you that are draining you energetically or spiritually. The biggest one right now is politics and the media that has rendered people almost comatose.
That's where fear lives. Pendulums use fear as their number one hook.
Step three is defeating pendulums or learning how to manage your pendulums.
When you do that and you are successful. You've got a good connection with the alternative space, you understand what pendulums create your reality for you and you take back your energy from those pendulums.
The fourth step is what we refer to as the wave of success.
The wave of success is a phenomenon in the, transurfing, modality where you accumulate positive thoughts, actions, and frequency from your environment to improve your thoughts about yourself.
Life Tracks and Quantum Jumping
Life tracks are like different channels that you can turn to in the, quantum jumping, space. The idea is that you use the law of physics with energy and your perception of reality to essentially move you to some of these higher life tracks or higher channels. More of what you want exists in abundance in this alternative reality.
The fifth step is the opposite of the wave of success. Our intention is to climb higher on the life tracks or tune the dial to a higher channel. We call this induced transition. Induced transition is when you buy into negative information or negative news. This is when you buy into people's negative thoughts or views of you or what you're doing.
This is you tuning to a lower channel, so the induced transition is sort of the concept that keeps a, transurfer, in check. You become aware of energy and how it affects your mood health.
Myrna – Just this morning I was listening to Dr Joe Dispenza's on a podcast and he was talking about using the wave of energy from your Heart and taking it up to your brain so you are living in a higher frequency.
Then you will attract the things you want. Exactly the same thing you're talking about here.
How can Transurfing help us create our own reality?
Renee – People have heard about the, quantum field, but nobody understood it. So now we are filling in the blanks. People are not going to irritate you, you are going to get angry. But you can clean your layer of reality.
If you've got negative energy you can't create, you have to be in that positive frame of mind to create. Joe dispenza was talking about that energy wave going from the heart to the mind. We call this heart and mind coordination and this is a big part of, reality transurfing.
It's the heart saying yes to something and then it's the mind agreeing. This is what Vadim Zealand, reality transurfing, author did to create this book.
What is quantum jumping exactly
Renee – Quantum jumping, is pretty much switching the channels. We use all sorts of analogies, like a river analogy. Quantum jumping, you can get caught into different streams and navigate to different places. We say quantum jumping, or changing the channel.
There's a four-step process to, quantum jumping.
Acknowledge and this is where your connection with the alternative space will come in. You have to acknowledge that this version of reality does in fact exist.
You have to tune your thoughts. Just as there are infinite versions of reality, there are also infinite versions of self. You must envision what the optimal version of yourself looks like. There's a version of myself that feels depressed and traumatized by childhood. Maybe I'm addicted to drugs. But I choose to focus on the optimal version of myself as a thought leader and an expert on, reality transurfing.
Take action in that direction, so you're thinking like the optimal version of you. Practice until you are perfect.
The final step is to make sure that your frequency matches the frequency of that higher version of you. Remove things that take away or are detrimental to your frequency like alcohol, drugs, fast food, and media. Things that can improve your frequency are exercise and meditation.
Myrna – I love Abraham Hicks teachings on vibration and frequencies. I didn't know anything about, transurfing, and, quantum jumping, but I do know about frequency and the law of attraction.
Conclusion
Tell our listeners and readers how they can connect with you.
We have a thriving community. We have knowledge for everyone so if you don't have even the money to buy the book, you can watch the YouTube channel transurfing. You can also connect on our Facebook group It is called the International Transurfing Institute.
www.transsurfing.us is the website if you would like to find out information on any aspect of, reality transurfing. What it is, how to do it.
We have a course on teachable called reality transurfing 2.0. It is the only certified course by the author for the english language.
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A, life lesson, can be defined as something from which useful knowledge or principles for, personal growth, can be learned. When I was growing up my grandmother had a lot of these, life lessons, and principles. One of them was you can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink! Today we are going to be talking about, Z-isms. If you don’t know what these are, download the audio.
Listen to the full episode here:
My guest today is Matt Zinman called a difference-maker, devoted to personally enrich the lives of at least 100 million people by 2025. His new book, “Z-isms: Insights to Live By” is based on his experiences as an entrepreneur, athlete, single parent, caregiver and nonprofit founder. Matt is also the host of “Insights to Live By,” a podcast that invites guests to share their own pearls of wisdom. In addition, Matt is CEO of The Internship Institute, which he established in 2007 to “Make Experience Matter.”
book Z-isms life lessons to live by
Introduction to Z-isms or life lessons
One of your, life lessons, is about, self-discovery, and mindset. So what are, Z-isms?
Matt – A, Z-ism, is a, life lesson, a filter in how it is that we experience the world around us. One of the which is, mood, health. I think everyone recognizes that pessimism and optimism apply to the very same set of circumstances. If you're having that kind of a down day you could just as well be seeing something differently than if you were having an up day; so recognizing where you are in your, mood, health at any given time is one filter.
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Another principle of, life lessons, is are you staying present or are you caught up in worry about the future. Maybe you're worrying about something that isn't certain to happen or you keep running something through your head that already happened that continues to just spiral and drag you down and change your, mood.
It's important to recognize that you are in the, present moment, and grounding yourself in, gratitude, is very key. Then there's perception itself and recognizing that you may not get it all right; but that is okay. We're not all the best listeners all the time we could be distracted.
Gratitude is the best life lesson for Personal Growth
Myrna – A lot a lot of people start their mornings with a, gratitude meditation, because if you have, gratitude, for the smallest number of things then it is good. It doesn't have to be that your dream job or dream relationship is happening. We all have goals and we all have dreams. You might be depressed because you're not where you want to be in life; but if you can just be, grateful, for what you have now, then you are enhancing your, personal growth.
Louise Hay has a, gratitude meditation, on YouTube that I do a few times per week.
It's really basic being, grateful, that you have electricity, that you have a stove that you can cook on, gratitude, that you have indoor plumbing! Etc. There's so many things that we can be, grateful, for.
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Matt – Your point about, gratitude, is so spot-on right we hear about it so much and there's a reason that, gratitude, works. It's really at that heart of life enrichment. It is the premier, life lesson.
If you do that, gratitude meditation, for just two minutes in the morning and before bed, for 30 days straight, I guarantee it will change your life.
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Myrna – Let’s talk about, spiders. One of your unusual topics in your book involves being aware of, spiders. You describe, spiders, as people who manipulate and drain others. Why did you call them, spiders, because I call those people leeches. They suck you, what does, spiders, have to do with draining you? Tell me the concept there?
Matt – Spiders, do have quite a bite. If you really take inventory of the people who were in your orbit, it's pretty easy to go down that list and recognize that person we choose to be vulnerable with. We don't want to put energy into always having to be on guard.
It takes a lot more energy to be devious than it does to be oblivious. For the, spider, they must remember their lies. When you're living the life of a manipulator or devious person, it doesn't come naturally you've got to plan it out.
You really need to tune into your Spidey senses to recognize that someone is trying to get you to do something you prefer not to do; but they know you can’t say no. We talked about people pleasers. They are the perfect person for the, spider, to manipulate.
Myrna – So you call them, spiders, because they suck, they're devious and because they weave webs and set traps, understood.
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Matt – Spiders, are also energy vampires, very needy people who are always around wanting your time and energy.
You really need to take a closer look at that person and decide whether they belong in your inner circle. A, spider, is going to spin a web and set traps for you.
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What kind of, z-isms, or , life lessons, do you coach?
Matt – I usually start with teaching, self-kindness. It comes back to valuing yourself and if you value yourself first, the rest comes naturally. Relying on that guiding principle around, self-kindness, you just cannot go wrong.
Self-kindness, is the is the escape hatch when you are caught in the, spider, web. If you get yourself caught in a, spider, web and you're being manipulated, if think of yourself and think about the wars that you've won and you feel, gratitude, or all these things can power you to change the situation.
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Conclusion Z-isms Life Lessons
Myrna – What can readers get from the book after they've read it?
Matt – I want my readers to understand earned confidence and become aware of, spiders, and things around them
energy management,
entrepreneurship,
concepts around inevitability to a degree the law of attraction
and gratitude in life.
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We are the, author, of our lives. When we were born we had an beginning page and an end page. It is up to us to, author, and fill in the pages in-between. We are the, author, of the script, the director and the producer of our lives. Life by design, is what I teach as a, life coach. And I think that one of the first things that we can do is if we understand the power of self-amplifying feedback loops, the way our spaces influence our thinking and our thinking in turn influences our spaces. We could then control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into.
There's always going to be the wild card. There's always going to be the circumstances you can't plan for; but, life by design, is the concept that we can use our thoughts and the, law of attraction, to bring to us all that we desire. There's always the unexpected relevance and the, serendipity. But just like that book The Power of Pull talks about, we can funnel the, serendipity, or we can channel the, serendipity, funnel. We can help engender and engineer serendipity by the choices that we make every moment, and live a, life by design.
We all have experienced the, serendipity, of relevant information arriving just when we were least expecting it.
It was only through pure, serendipity, that I met my best friend!
Your chances of finding such a feature are down to either extremely assiduous trawling or mere, serendipity.
So by cultivating rich social networks, by cultivating weak ties, not just closed ties but the weak ties, by becoming connectors and by connecting others so that they connect us, we create a world in which these self-amplifying feedback loops feed on top of each other. So good circumstances lead to other good circumstances which lead to other good circumstances and each one of them encourages us to then live more openly and participate in that sort of creative flow space. Live a, life by design.
Be the, author, of your own self-help book, I just really believe that our creative choices ultimately shape who we become and so we should all be discerning and be radically open whenever possible and I think that we really can make a masterpiece out of our own lives if we so choose. But that requires, it requires a boldness of character as well, because seeing the radical freedom to live a, life by design. We have to compose our lives, what Leary called internal freedom.
The vertigo of freedom, this dizzying – what do I do? I can do anything? Well, the paradox of too much choice. But I think we can embrace that with courage and with boldness, and once we do, there's nothing we can't do but, author, the life we want.
Author of our Own Lives
As the, author, of our own lives we can begin by taking control of our own lives. This requires recognizing that while family or social circumstances influence our character, they do not determine it absolutely. The same is true of the most basic instincts that come from our heredity and bodily constitution. These instinctive ways of acting can be molded and guided by the exercise of a will that heeds the dictates of a well-formed reason.
Our personality is forged to the extent that we make free decisions, since our actions not only alter our environment but also shape our way of being. Although at times we aren’t fully aware of it, the repetition of acts leads us to acquire particular customs or attitudes in facing reality. Therefore when we explain the reason for our spontaneous reactions, rather than saying “that’s the way I am,” we should often admit: “that’s the way I have made myself.”
Our lives are conditioned by factors that are often difficult to control: for example, the quality of family relationships, the social environment in which we grow up, an illness that limits us in one way or another, etc. Although often we are unable to ignore or undo these limitations, we can certainly change our attitude in confronting them, especially if we are aware that nothing escapes God’s provident care. “It is important to keep reminding ourselves that Jesus did not address himself to a privileged set of people; he came to reveal the universal love of God to us. God loves all mankind, and he wants all to love him. God is also the, author, and finisher of our lives. In any situation, even one that entails great limitations, we can offer God and our neighbors deeds of love, no matter how small these may seem. Who knows how great the value is of a smile in the midst of tribulation, of suffering offered to our Lord in union with the Cross, of patiently accepting small annoyances and setbacks! Nothing can quench a limitless love, a love stronger than suffering, loneliness, abandonment, betrayal, slander, physical and moral suffering, and even death itself.
Daniel Mangena was diagnosed with, Aspergers, in his late 20's. Asperger's syndrome, is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.
Listen to full interview here:
I’m very familiar with, Aspergers, because I have a 21 year old son who has been diagnosed with, Asperger's syndrome, around 10 years of age.
So this interview with Daniel will be on the topic How to Navigate Social Cues with, Aspergers, Diagnosis
My son was so afraid of social interactions, he couldn't speak to strangers. He was so nervous speaking to people that he developed a stutter and the stutter made him almost unintelligible. As he's grew older, he practiced talking to people. He would talk to everybody that he meets, everybody would come up to me and say your son is such a wonderful kid that's, because he practiced and now he doesn't have the stutter and not afraid of talking to people.
Introduction to Asperger's Syndrome
After receiving a late diagnosis of, Asperger, and experiencing what can only be described as life-shattering trauma at the age of just 20, Daniel spent the next seven years struggling to keep his revelations and events from spilling in to his everyday life as a result of his struggles.
Daniel built a simple four-step system called “Beyond Intentional Paradigm”. Initially, it was built as a lifeline while he was grappling with suicidal thoughts; but beyond intention has transformed Daniel's life from misery into celebration through his own struggles. Daniel found a path to lasting joy and purpose and he wants nothing more than to share the tools that saved his life.
Daniel is the host of a “Do It with Dan” podcast series, regular blogs published articles and worldwide workshops that have helped thousands across the globe. His prolific work recently earned him a spot in the Wall Street Journal as a master of success and a scene on Wall Street Journal, Market Watch, ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox.
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Late Diagnosis of Asperger and lack of friendships
Myrna – You were diagnosed in your twenties with Asperger's. Did your family miss your lack of, social cues, or do you think you developed, Asperger, late?
Daniel – As a teenager, I’ve always been really blessed. For me, Asperger, has been a gift. It's been a gift because the way that my brain works has allowed me to achieve a lot and the social challenges and lack of, social cues, have effectively just been the cost of doing business. When you look at my brilliance, that came out academically including great achievements. I kind of just put up with me living with my foot in my mouth and being horribly awkward and unable to really relate, because there were other benefits that came with my diagnosis.
When things became clearer, siblings would tell stories and they're like, but we love you so because you were a loner. I don't really have friends. I never developed relationships and friendships other than my two friends – Nathan and Jamie, who were my friends since I was 15. I don't have any friends from middle school. I don't have any friends from high school. I’ve got one friend from college, because I didn't know how to form those bonds with people even when people wanted to form bonds with me. I didn't know how to hold and maintain those relationships.
I was missing out and studied much like your son practiced to learn, to understand what those shortfalls were and although it's a very conscious process, was able to then effectively operate socially.
Myrna – I understand the lack of friends because my son never developed friendships. I had twin girls, their world was friends. They didn't go to school to learn, they went to school to see their friends! My son’s friends were his teachers.
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Myrna – Tell us what is, Asperger's syndrome, and why is it that people with, Aspergers, can’t understand, social cues?
Daniel – Essentially, the difference between what is commonly recognized as, Autism vs. Aspergers, is that someone that's more formally viewed as, autistic, doesn't have the ability to communicate with the outside world. Whereas, Aspergers, have the same thought processes; but we can actually communicate it. Whereas with, autism, especially if someone's non-verbal, they have no way to communicate those thought processes.
I found in my own experience that everything works in ones and zeros. It's very systematic and when there's a disconnection in that systemization, it falls apart. Social cues, are a very fluid, it's an art form. It's not there’s a science to it, but there's an art form to it which doesn't move in ones and zeros.
People that have brains like me don't know what to do with it and also because we're always things that you do unconsciously. For example, in this conversation I have to maintain concentration the entire time because I have to be aware that just because I’ve got something to say, doesn't mean that I have to say it now.
Myrna – My doctor compared my son to Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory. Just like Sheldon has to work very hard on understanding, social cues, and he would say and what he shouldn't say. He's usually very rude because he doesn't think about the other person's feelings. He just says what he feels or thinks.
Daniel – What I found to be my happy place with relationships and with, social cues, is to forget what I am thinking. I just walk away from it, I don't entertain it.
Asperger-DSM5
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Myrna – I know that you're a podcast host and you interview people, so when you're interviewing like when you're doing this interview or when you're the host and you're talking, do you do the same thing? Do you have to get out of your head and operate from your heart space to understand, social cues, or is there other ways that you you're handling that situation?
Daniel – First and foremost, by using my tools of mindfulness and consciousness in order to engage in this space, I set very clear intensions about this time and set them aside. I’ve given my mind enough to let go by giving a box to play in. I have genuine conversations; I don't have to think about what I’m going to say, because I’m speaking from the heart. I’m thinking about how to engage with you, I’m holding that container; but in terms of the communication that's coming from the framework within my heart.
There's a conscious process in terms of setting that space to this is back and forth I’m sticking clear with my intention to share this space with you, to add value to your community, to create something beautiful together; but then I’m not thinking about what to say. I’m allowing the truth to come from heart based communication.
What is Micro Shifting and how does it help with Asperger's Syndrome?
Myrna – In your Bio, you talked about, Micro Shifting. How can people with, Aspergers, use, micro shifting? Is there something specifically that you do because of the, Asperger, diagnosis or can anybody use this, micro shifting?
Daniel – Micro, Shifting, has actually shown and proven itself to be one of the most popular aspects of my work with people, because it just makes good sense and just gets good results. Anybody can have a quantum leap. Anyone can have a massive shift. Anyone can have that; but everybody can make baby steps. Baby steps move past resistance and moves past fear because you're just taking one step.
I’m not taking on the whole thing. Procrastination drops down and you can start to build a momentum towards success in an endeavor. Micro, shifting, is a consistent series of baby steps in the direction of a consciously chosen outcome. That's how I define it. Creates a momentum, a rhythm that gets us to where we're going without the anxiety around the big goal, without the ‘I can't do it’, without the resistance, just one step at a time.
It's, shifting, your mind to let's say if you've got a big goal, for instance – you want to write a book. What you're saying is that you take one step and then you complete that step and then you take another step. I understand the micro baby steps and the, shifting, is what you're saying is once you've completed this one step then you go on to the next one.
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Myrna – You don't look at the big picture like macro? You just do micro, shifting. That's good.
Daniel – There's a couple of overlays, there not to cut but there's a couple of overlays. First and foremost, Micro, shifting, in its pure essence is very much a surrender based process because you're opening up to God or the universe to present what that next step is and once that step is presented, then you ask yourself what is the smallest minimum deliverable – something I know I can do to move towards this step that God or the universe has presented to me.
I take that step, I celebrate and then I’m open to what the next step is holding i.e. the intention of what the final goal is. I don't need to keep looking at the big goal. I know if I go one step at a time, God's got my back on this one step at a time and then trusting that that next step is going to be revealed. Regardless of what shows up even if it looks like it's going wrong trusting that everything's going right, because the universe is taking care of me. God's got my back. The universe only gives me what I can handle and because I’ve been very conscious in choosing what I’m moving towards.
It is one of the cornerstones to teach. I don't do so much coaching. I’ve got a group program, my signature program is called “Micro to Millions” (principally around financial abundance). But people come for other things too because another cornerstone is that once you effect change somewhere it can be everywhere.
So, if I work on my challenges around abundance, I can use that as the doorway to work on my relationships to work on my health. We find that all the time people come because they want to make money. They find the love of their life, their health improves and they find their purpose and so on and so forth. Micro, shifting, is a cornerstone that's why it's called “Micro to Millions” because we are micro, shifting, all the way up to whatever abundance we want to get to.
Let's finish up with the, Asperger's Syndrome. How can someone with, Aspergers, live consciously?
Daniel – I would have thought that's a little difficult. I would actually say someone living with, Aspergers, is more properly set up to live consciously, because so much of our life is happening at a conscious level. It's not happening at an unconscious level because we're stepping through it as a process of thought, so we have the opportunity to interject along the way and introduce something different.
So, when I look at my social interactions for example, it's actually process wise more feasible that I can be more aware and be more present. When I'm having a conversation with you, because I'm doing it step by step anyway it's not just an auto play that's happening. I'm moving through it so I have more opportunity to step in and say am I having this conversation with you, with love and compassion. Am I intentional in what I want to gather from this conversation?
What I want to add to this conversation where I am? Where's my attention? Where's my awareness? There's actually more opportunity now. Opportunity doesn't mean there's going to be a probability of the outcome; but it does mean that there's an opportunity. Again that's one of the things I’m grateful for with my, Aspergers.
I have more opportunity to be presently aware, because I’ve got that step-by-step process happening in the background.
Myrna – If I were to break that down, I think what you're saying is the, Aspergers, mind. Because it's logical and it's doing the zero one thing that you're more conscious of what's going on because you were doing it logically. What you're saying, you're doing it. There's opportunity there to be conscious but we can be consciously unconscious.
Don't forget, we can be unconscious to our consciousness just because it's doesn't mean I’m giving up my attention. Go ahead and explain that one unconscious consciousness. The opportunity is there for me to be aware because it's a step-by-step process. It doesn't mean that I’m giving it my attention, I still have to give my attention to that step-by-step process. I get you see one coming and it's by giving it my attention now. There's a level of consciousness to it and now I can start to introduce intentionality in how I’m stepping through those communication.
Do it with Dan Podcast
Tell us about your podcast “Do it with Dan”
Dreamwithdan.com is my website and that’s where everything is – my books are there, podcasts, any free trainings and master classes. There's normally something. My next sort of major free offering is on the 15th of November – doing completely free workshop to empower business owners to create more abundance not-speaking for 15 minutes and selling for the rest of the time.
I’m actually recording a workshop and then I’m going to be selling later. I’m delivering a workshop that's going to sell for a hundred dollars. We're delivering it for free on the 15th of November. I’m excited about that. All details for that sort of thing are always going to be on the website. My podcast is me just having conversations with people. I want to inspire change, remove the excuses that we have around change that we say we can't have and to give people tools that they can employ to create more change again.
Leaning towards this mission of more people living abundant joyful purpose-driven life, because if they're doing that, then we can reach that tipping point where we move from the 80 percent of negative to 80 of positive and that's what I’m really passionate about.
Conclusion
Myrna – Thank you for sharing with me as an Asperger parent. Maybe the listeners might have, Aspergers, because I think it's a big diagnosis now, right? They're saying that one in four boys has autism and the, Aspergers, is part of the, autism, spectrum.
A large amount of the population is working with some form of social anxiety. I was reading something on Quora about, Aspergers, and one of the things the guy was saying is that you know he couldn't follow instructions and I will tell you that was my biggest pet peeve with my son. I would tell him to do one thing and he does something totally different and apparently that's part of the Asperger brain to you can't follow complex instructions.
We can be successful even with a diagnosis as, Aspergers. It doesn't have to give you a life that doesn't have any quality and I know again, in your bio you mentioned that when you first got the diagnosis it was a hard. It was hard for you and you had some struggles even thinking of ending your life – kind of suicidal thoughts but you've worked with it and now you're on the other end and you're teaching.
I want to encourage you to subscribe to my YouTube channel so that you can watch our interview instead of just listening to it. But if you prefer to listen to it and you're listening on iTunes, I would love for you to subscribe. The more subscriptions we get of course, we're able to take the message to a wider audience.
I also want to invite you guys to join my life coaching group on Facebook. The group is growing by leaps and bounds.
Chemistry, is energy. It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA.
As we head into the New Year I know that many of you are engaging the, Law of Attraction, to bring you a spouse or a mate in 2021.
We are not meant to be alone. The Bible says that Two are better than one, because If either of them falls down, one can help the other, so we are hard wired with the need to share our lives with a significant other.
Listen to the audio here:
What are the 3 most important qualities in Relationships
I want to share three of the foundational qualities of love, relationships.
Let’s start with, compatibility. There is a significant amount of dating sites connecting couples based on, compatibility.
Is Compatibility the most Important quality in Relationships'
Compatibility, is important; but not the most important. Compatibility, is based on likes and dislikes, Like Religious preferences, standard of living, education etc.
But there is an old saying that says opposites attract.
There is also a new word floating around the internet and that is, polarity. Polarity is like the north and South Pole. Opposite ends of the spectrum and we need this polarity in relationships to keep the fires burning.
So when you marry someone who is just like you and you are so, compatible, love coaches say that sooner or later married couples stop having sex because there is no, polarity.
Now let’s look at, Chemistry. Chemistry, is energy. It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA. It is random; but absolutely essential for a long lasting, love connection. It is what makes your heart ache when you are apart.
Chemistry, is also reflected in the bedroom. A lack of, chemistry, will mean boring, emotionless sex. A high degree of, chemistry, will mean intense, life-altering, heart-pounding sex that causes your mind to cosmically splatter itself on the walls of your consciousness. Good times.
Some call , chemistry, connection but whatever you call it, you know when it is there and when it is not.
Some call, chemistry, meeting your, soul mate. I do believe that our souls know when we connect to our perfect match. When you meet your, soul mate, the connection is immediate, you feel the, chemistry.
Steve Harvey said that his wife walked into one of his comedy shows in a crowd of hundreds and he stopped what he was doing and told her she was going to be his wife. There are thousands of stories like this to highlight what, chemistry, looks like.
When my husband first saw me, he said he felt this warm feeling in his body that is DNA, that is, chemistry! The first time I spoke to my husband my heart did summersaults for a week! Definitely, chemistry.
But here is the question of the day. Can you have a successful marriage with, compatibility, and no, chemistry? I am sure you can with commitment; but it would be equivalent to being married to your roommate.
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-competent legal representation
-clear and concise communication and having a
-collaborative and creative approach
You focus on your recovery.
We focus on collecting the check!
Is Effective Communication the foundation for a Happy Marriage?
Finally, let’s look at, communication
Communication, usually gets the blame when a marriage or relationship fail, because if there is no, communication, you can’t have a successful marriage or relationship.
We all have different, communication, styles so, effective communication, is the most important and the least understood dynamic. It is the deal breaker.
Conclusion: Chemistry Compatibility Communication
As we wrap up, I want to leave you with some of the main differences between men and women.
Women are all about their feelings, Men don’t trust feelings.
Women connect emotionally with “talking,” Men talk to pass on data, period.
Women have to feel good to do good, Men have to do good to feel good.
Women want to hear all about it, Men don’t want to talk about it.
Women need to feel connected to have sex, Men connect with sex.
Women’s happiness resides in the state of their relationships; all their relationships. Men’s happiness resides in their accomplishments and their ability to provide and protect their love ones.
Women get depressed when they feel like all they do is give but that they don’t get back, while Men get depressed when they feel no one appreciates them.
Understanding these differences is the first step towards creating successful long lasting relationships. Check out John Gray book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”
Would you like to have, 50 shades of Grey, in your Bedroom? Find out how to have the, sexual confidence, of, Dakota Johnson, by embracing your, Goddess, in the Bedroom. Life Coach Myrna Young, interviews Intimacy and Orgasmic Coach, Margo Blake. Margo is going to teach you How to Embrace Your, Goddess, in the Bedroom with, sexual confidence.
As a teen mom Margo was forced into developing her, sexual confidence, at an early age. At 48 years old she decided to learn the secrets of the, intimacy, that had always eluded her. Even though she was always, sexually confident, She wanted to know more about the RAW, Vulnerable parts of herself that she always held back from men and address her, fear of intimacy. She wanted to find out for herself and also to teach other women to embrace there, intimacy issues. So she started, intimacy coaching, teaching women How to be, sexually confident, and embrace their Goddess in the bedroom, 50 shades of grey, style.
Your own, 50 Shades of Grey, in the bedroom
In celebration of the movie “50 Shades Freed” and Valentines Day, I wanted to give my listeners a gift. A gift of Awakening along the lines of the Awakening felt by, Dakota Johnson, by Christian Grey.
Margo teaches women to use their voice to tell their partners what they want and don't want. She teaches women that men should be in servitude to them and they should have, sexual confidence, about their sexuality, embracing their Goddess and their, 50 shades of grey, in the bedroom fully!
As women of all ages are bored with their partners, the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, captures and excites women, the same way Christian Grey captures and excites, Dakota Johnson. Women are bored with the vanilla love making and vanilla lifestyle. We want our ice cream with sprinkles on top!
Can you tell my audience your back story. How did you start, intimacy coaching?
Well I'm going to try to dothis very quickly because I am 54 yearsold and fabulous, so I'm going to try tospeed it up. I was a teenage mom at 16 years old. I started to embrace my, sexuality, as a teenager but lacked, sexual confidence, and I had no, intimacy, with my partners.
I got married and divorced and when Iturned 48 I felt I was missing out on life. I was close to 50 years old and my wholehistory of my relationships with men was sad. Men alwaysleft me. I'm going to transition out myrelationship which was going on 10 yearsand I wanted to be me and embrace my, sexuality and become more intimate with my partners.
That's how Ibecame an, intimacy coach, and started, intimacy coaching. I dida transformational workshop and certification with One Taste Coachingand Istarted to mentor clients for the last
six years. The last three years I've beenon the journey ofbecoming an intimate orgasmic Life Coachwith One Taste.
2. Question 2: What advice would you give to young women today on how to embrace their, Goddess, in the Bedroom and to How to be confident about their, sexuality?
If I had to give myself mysixteen-year-old self advice about mysexuality the first thing I would have asked was, why am I with this particularguy? As they develop, sexual confidence, you want to start telling men what you want andby doing that, we create awhole world of men of servitude. So onceagain the advice I would give youngwomen and older women is learning tocommunicate what your desires are. I want it this way, no Idon't want it that way.
50 shades of Grey
50 Shades of Grey the Movie
In the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, Dakota Johnson, is a young woman inexperienced in sex and becomes drawn in the world of a, dominatrix, Christian Grey. All three movies were well received; but it still received a lot of criticism about showcasing abuse of women. What do you think the message of the film, 50 shades of grey, is for young women like, Dakota Johnson?
The movie, 50 shades of Grey, to me is is all about love andservice and sex and that kind of thing
but I remember when I took my mom to see the movie. Iposted it on Facebookseveralwomen responded with outrage saying how can I glorify that movie itabuses women.
Margo- I embracethe movie, it's of excitedusto escape having a vanilla lifestyle. It's a different
type of lifestyle that they both agree on. It's all about giving upand surrendering to your man. It’s all about, intimacy, and, sexual confidence. That's what, Dakota Johnson, did she surrendered to the power-play. Shetrusted herself , and her, sexuality.
That person that posted on yourFacebook page that she was abused couldn’t have seen the movie. She didn't seewhat you and I saw, because there was no abuse, it was it wasconsensual sex even though Christian Grey was a, dominatrix.
What constitutes, intimacy?
Margo what would you call, intimacy? Is it that raw vulnerablepart that you allow your partner or yourfriends to see?
Margo- Intimacy, it's the partof you that does not lie. It's the partof you that allows your friends, your family, or your lover to look you in the eye andconnect with you. Sohypothetically if you are feeling sad canlook at your daughter or your daughtercan look at you and connect with you?
Because some of us were masks. We wear amask our whole life, we don't allow peopleto see that vulnerable part of us.
Intimacy, is being able to communicate whatyou're feeling and not masking. Intimacy, is allowing thatperson to really see you without lyingand without the drama.
Myrna – How does, intimacy, come into play in the bedroom? How do we find our, Goddess, in the bedroom?
Margo – Intimacy, is having theability to tell your partner exactly howyou want it, when you want it and how longyou want it. That's, intimacy. You don't need tobe like an army instructor, you just communicate. There's no words it'sjust your bodies and it's just your mind.
In order to make permanent changes in your life, the first question you must ask is, who am I? This question allows you to understand yourself and why you came into this body.
As a, Life coach, I want to share with you a , life coaching session, Life Coaching Part 1: Who am I, from my 6-week Life coaching workshop.
We can never become who we were meant to be unless we can first recognize who we are by asking the question, who am I.
To know thyself is to grow thyself
So let’s dive right in.
First a little about, who I am.
I am a certified, Life coach, specializing in Mindset and consciousness. In 2012 I wrote my first book “Becoming conscious, my awakening” because I started to understand, who I am. In this episode I will take you through the process of discovering Who you are, be asking the question, who am I.
If you like this content please share with your friends and remember to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast. Thank you
Life coach Myrna Young, who am I
Who am I, What are my deepest and truest values?
Your deepest values are the ones no one can move you off of. Your deepest values are the ones that if not met, hurt the most. Your truest values are the ones that make you cry.
Your deepest value could be that you would never hit your child. You were abused as a child and you vowed never to hit your child; but you get married and your spouse believes in spanking. He or she believes the bible that says spare the rod and spoil the child. So, your spouse spanks your child. It hurts you so much that you are forced to file for a divorce. Irreconcilable Differences!
Another example to find out, who am I, could be that you were brought up that nice girls do not have sex before marriage. It is a deal breaker in all your relationships. Your dates either leave you or they cheat on you; but you can't bring yourself to have premarital sex. It is one of your deepest and truest values. As a result, you are single and unmarried at 40 years old.
Your deepest values are found by asking the question, who am I. It could be about how you feel about charity. I never pass someone on the street begging. I feel it is a blessing to have a dollar to give. My husband on the other hand, feels that everybody can find a job, and only the worthless people stand at the corner and beg. That is his deepest value and this is mine.
Your deepest value could take the form of image and by asking, who am I. You may be willing to endure a passionless marriage if it gives you status in your community. There are lots of big houses with white picket fences that house very unhappy families.
One of my deepest values was on domestic abuse. My ex-husband slapped me and I divorced him. Simple as that! My value took the form that I would never become a battered woman. I didn't have to ask the question, who am I. I knew that if he hit me once he would hit me again. My daughter was 5 years old at the time. Most women would have a value in giving their children a family with a mom and dad. But mine was more self-centered. Nobody should judge your deepest values. They are yours. You must know them and accept them. They make you who you are. A unique being!
Who am I, do I believe in One True Love?
Your truest value could be found by also asking, who am I. How do you love and receive love?
Do you believe that you could only love one person and there is only one true love for you? What happens if you get a divorce or your spouse dies? Does that mean that love is over for you?
How do you receive love?
I heard a story once about a woman who would ask her husband every day if he loved her. He would say of course I love you honey. Yet she did not believe him and would ask him again the next day. She felt love by how much attention she received from her husband. As her insecurities grew she required more and more attention. The marriage ended in divorce.
Your deepest value could be on why you feel you are on this earth, in this body. Do you take the time to consider your purpose and your legacy?
Who am I, What are my preferences and priorities?
Who am I, What kind of house would I like to live in.
What country would I like to live in if I had a choice. Do I prefer beach front, mountain view or lots of trees and greenery? Visualize yourself sitting on the porch of this house.
Who am I, how do I like my men? Do I like them tall, dark and handsome? or am I looking for the spiritual connection and don't care what form the package takes?
What kinds of music do I like? What kinds of music transports me to a good place?
What are my preferences during sex? Do I like it with the lights on or off?
What forms of entertainment do I prefer? Do I like the movies, going dancing or staying at home with a good book?
If I didn't have to work, what would I do?
Who are my priorities in Life? Do my children come first, my spouse or God?
Do I make healthy eating and exercise a priority or do I never have time to get to it?
Who am I, What genuinely makes me happy?
I love walking in the park and listening to podcasts and books about successful people in life.
I love listening to the rain and the sounds of the ocean.
Ask yourself , who am I, and put your list of preferences on paper.
Who am I, What are my subconscious patterns and ways of reacting?
How do I react when I feel rejected?
Do I seek revenge?
Do I get even or do I eat a pint of ice-cream?
How do I look at the world?
Do I see abundance or do I see scarcity?
Do you feel jealous when your friends get a promotion or find love?
Are you glad for them or do you secretly hope they fail? No judgment just understanding.
Who am I, If you are happy for your friends, you are attracting abundance into your life. If you are jealous, you are saying that there is not enough to go around and you feel they have taken your share. So, you have a spirit of lack and that will not bring you abundance.
Who am I, What are your triggers?
Ask yourself? When do I pick up the phone and call my old lovers?
Is my trigger when I can’t get my lover on the phone and I think he or she is cheating on me?
I am one of those people who don't bear malice. That means that I get angry for a few days and then I forgive. Unless it is the third time. I have a 3-strike rule!
As a Life coach, I ask my clients, what do they fear?
This is an important workshop. Fears are bottom feeders. Fears keep you at the tail and not the head of the table. If you have fears, you must face them and replace them.
Fear can also keep you bound in a bad or abusive relationship.
Here are some common fears:
Do you fear getting old?
Do you fear being alone?
Do you fear being homeless?
Do you fear getting fat?
Do you fear your spouse would leave you?
Do you fear losing your job?
Do you fear death?
Fear is an energy. Thoughts are the most powerful energy force in the universe.
Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of negative thoughts is fear.
It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
When you live in fear, you feel bad all the time.
If you allow fear to linger in your body and in your mind. It will not only attract the thing you fear the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to negative thoughts and emotions.
Negative thoughts transform your body into an acidic state.
In fear mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell.
Today I want to teach you how to use positive energy to clear the negative energies of fear. But first I want to touch on one of the spiritual laws of the universe. i.e The Law of Sowing and Reaping.
We all know of the physical laws like gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the Law of Sowing and Reaping can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way means that whatever you plant in your mind you will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree.
In the spiritual world,
The soil is your mind.
The seeds are your thoughts.
The water are your actions.
And the sun is your feelings.
If you allow fear to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.
Energy flows where attention goes.
Whatever you focus on expands.
Everything is energy and all energy attracts similar energy.
You can't put out negative energy and expect positive results.
You can't plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can't focus on what you fear and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal law of reaping and sowing it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind.
“You become what you think about”
When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
So, write down something that is opposite of what you fear and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your fear.
Since light conquers darkness it will eventually have your fear for lunch!
This means whatever you fear you will attract. So, if you fear being alone that is what you will be, alone. If you fear your spouse will leave you, be prepared for that reality. It is very very important to replace your fears with your desires.
As we wrap up this episode, let’s recap
Ask yourself these questions:
Who am I?
What are my deepest values. What do I care about the most?
What are my preferences and priorities?
Who and what is important to me?
What makes me happy. What images make me cry?
How do I react to things or people who hurt me?
What do I fear the most?
As a certified Mindset Coach, I have designed a 6 Part Coaching program that starts off by bringing clarity to Who You Are because that is how you show up in your personal interactions.
