How to Use Intuition in the Transformation of your Business

Intuition and Transformation

You can use your, intuition, in the, transformation, of your, business, by paying attention to signs. There’s signs like for example, you open a magazine and there’s something that pops out at you or a song comes on the radio and it triggers something you were asking the universe for an answer.

Jenny Fenig  specializes in empowering creative women, entrepreneurs, to increase their confidence, impact, money and time-freedom by mixing modern and ancient practices. Jenny spent the first decade of her career in the corporate space as a public relations executive and event producer.  Jenny then shifted her focus to working with, self-employed women, helping them package their magic to exponentially grow their, business, income and joy. She’s proud to lead the most trailblazing online community for transformational coaches, consultants, creatives and wellness professionals working with the energy of their intuition, the moon, and the seasons.  Jenny is the author of “Get Gutsy” and also a podcast host. She was a Silver Stevie Award Winner for Coach of the Year.

Listen to the full interview here:

How Monpreneurs can use signs for the, Transformation, of their home, business

A mompreneur is a mom who is an, entrepreneur, working her business from home while raising her kids. A great visual is kid in one hand and phone in the other!

I tell you it’s actually one of the most beautiful things I know.

Myrna – You mentioned, intuition, and you mentioned vision and clairvoyance  in your bio, can you share how, intuition, can help, entrepreneurs, in the, transformation, of their, brand.

Jenny – You can use your, intuition, in the, transformation, of your, business, by paying attention to signs. There’s, signs, like you’ll open a magazine and there’s something that pops out to you or a song comes on the radio and it triggers something you were asking the universe for an answer.

Let’s say you’ve been struggling with something or pondering a question, you can get your answer from daily living. These, signs, will continue to be around you all the time you just have to to open to the universe talking to you.  You’ll be in a conversation and someone will drop a line and you would be like that’s exactly what I needed to hear that day, so I’m a big believer of using, intuition, and, signs, to get answers to the, transformation, of your brand.

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What is the, transformation, Mindset?

You don’t need to be drinking from a fire hose,  we’re living in a world with so much information, the news cycle never ends.  Social media never goes to sleep.

So let’s connect the dots on, signs, and, intuition.  Your mindset has to be open for instruction and inspiration. You have to have a mindset for, transformation.

Myrna – I received a, sign, one day I was reading the newspaper.  I saw an article about a Life Coach. That was my, sign, and I used my, intuition, to know that becoming a, Life Coach, was my purpose.

 

How do entrepreneurs and mompreneurs look for signs for, transformation

This is where your own spiritual practice comes into play.  You can just say to God or the Universe “I’m open, I’m ready, show me the way. Show me a, sign, help me use my, intuition, to know where to go next in the, transformation, of my, business.  Then just open up just open up and trust and know that the answer may not come on your exact timetable, like within in the next hour; but it will come.

We are always being guided.  We all have angels and guides that show you these, signs, and inspirations.

As women we get up get up and put on those heels and go to work Monday through Friday from nine to whenever, because that’s the game. That would be very much kind of the setup of the, sun. The, sun, is going to always rise in the East and set in the West. Women are not built to work with, sun, energy.

How women can use the feminine energy of the, moon, in their, transformation

On the other hand, when we look at the, moon, it is a more feminine energy.

Women are very connected to energy of the, moon. The, moon, is in a different place in the sky every night.

It’s just so fascinating to me that as women our energy changes during the lunar cycle, just like the, moon’s, energy changes during the lunar cycle. I was never taught this growing up, it was something I learned over time. I was forcing myself to show up every day and be the same time like the, sun.  I was doing this for decades.

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How to use the phases and energy of the, moon, as, entrepreneurs

There are four main phases of each lunar cycle:

  • There’s 13 moons in a year and there’s 12 months in a year.
  • We go through a full lunar cycle when we go from a, new moon, back into another, new moon. The, moon, is always changing.
  • The, moon, is  always changing and growing in terms of her light in the sky. When that light diminishes, we go through that entire lunar cycle and so at the beginning of a cycle we have what’s called a, new moon. When you see the light on the right side of the, moon, that’s when you know it’s a, new moon, you’re in a new phase.
  • This is when women can start their, transformation, journey because they can harness the lunar energy really tap into their vision.

New moon and Transformation

During the, new moon, phase,  you will be resting, and renewing. This is where, transformation, takes place.  You will be saying I want to put my energy and my focus for this upcoming lunar cycle on this project.

You can use a, moon, cycle magic tracker to help you use the phases of the, moon, for your, business, transformation. You could say, the date of the, new moon, is this, so I should be feeling this. My, intuition, should be this and my intention for this, new moon, should be this.

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Setting a plan for your, Transformation

  • My intention is, I’m going to be open
  • I’m going to be open to, signs
  • I’m going to be courageous
  • Get tactical on goals and vision.
  • Set a promotional plan for this business, transformation.
  • During this phase, I’m going to ramp up my health and fitness practice by ensuring that I sweat five times a week
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The next phase of the, moon, cycle is the Half Moon. It is 7 days to a week after the, new moon. This is called a first quarter, moon.  This energy is is connected to personal growth, action and commitment. This is where you make a plan for personal growth to help with the, transformation, of your, business.  You take action on a next step, and you make a commitment to the, transformation, of your brand.

You’re going to check back in and say I’m  going to go back and look at my intention that I set in the, new moon, phase and look back at my goals and see how am I am doing.  How far have I come in my, transformation? If your measure is not up to your goals, this may be a time to take action and double down.

Maybe you realize it’s time to make a shift, because you realize you’re not  in alignment or the world has changed and you need to make some pivots.  You also don’t want to be anchorless where you can get thrown off course when the winds of the storm come.  That would knock any of the progress you made in your, transformation, back to ground zero.

 

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The Full Moon and, Transformation

A week after the half moon,  about seven days later, you’re going to get to the, full moon. We all know what the full moon looks like,  it’s glorious. That’s when we’re in our fullest power.  The moon is in her fullest Power. My sign is Taurus so I love the, full moon in Taurus.

As women we all went through our bleeding years where we had a menstrual cycle.  The energy of a, full moon, is connected to the energy of ovulation. It’s the few days in our cycle where we could conceive a child.

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

That’s the energy that the, moon, is putting out and we can you can tap into it. We can tap into the transformational energy of the, full moon, and 10x the, transformation,  of our brand.

You are hot stuff during this phase of the, full moon, cycle. Everything you touch can turn to gold; but you got to go for it.

  • You got to send that email,
  • you got to place that phone call,
  • you got to go to the event
  • put your name in the hat
  • send the proposal

Whatever it is, you got to believe in yourself and be willing to make those bold moves and bold decisions for the, transformation, of your company and brand. That’s the energy of the, full moon.

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Last quarter lunar cycle and, transformation

The next lunar phase is the, last quarter moon .  The, last quarter moon, the energy of that phase of the cycle is let go to rise higher. If you invested time and energy into your health and wellness it is the time to see those results. Rise higher in your relationships, rise higher in your financial growth.

Let go of what didn’t happen and focus on the next cycle of the, New moon, for those projects.

We have a coach certification program to help life coaches in the, transformation, of their coaching, business.  I call this co-creating and coaching with the cosmos.  We’re really tuned into this framework called the magic makers method.

Myrna – I’ve been intimately connected with the, full moon, because the, full moon, affects the tides and our internal system which is made of 70% water; but I didn’t pay any attention to the other phases of the moon like then, new moon, or the, last quarter moon.

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How Can women entrepreneurs build confidence by learning to distinguish between their inner voice, and their, inner critic?

Jenny – The, inner voice, it’s really that ability to get still and to get quiet which is so important for women, entrepreneurs.  We’ve got eight million notifications coming in on our phone and it’s buzzing on our computer and the noise is everywhere. So we need to clear out and have a regular practice where we get quiet and get still so we can hear our, inner voice.

Listen to that, inner voice, to know and feel what’s pulling you forward and what’s pulling you back. We have that connection with our bodies and when you start working with nature, working with the seasons, working with cosmic energy, you’ll find that place inside of yourself again and you’ll be able to distinguish between that inner knowing and the, inner critic.

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The, inner critic, is that gremlin in your head that stops your, transformation

  • You’ll never be good enough
  • You’re making a mistake
  • You don’t belong there
  • You’re screwing it up
  • They’re all laughing at you
  • I could never put my message out there, because there could be some mean person who wants to dump on me and I can’t handle it that. Your, business cannot get to a, transformation, cycle with the, inner critic, in your head.
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I love the book “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert  she lays it out there’s, it’s really about guidance.  Creative people we create through ideas right and we need ideas to come to us from our, inner voice, which is our source.

When we get ideas from our, inner voice, and we don’t act on it, we can’t get mad when someone else become successful from an idea we didn’t act on.

You can purchase Jenny’s book “Get Gutsy” and her coaching certification program called Magic Makers coach certification by visiting her website magicmakerscoach.com.

The Magic Makers coaching method, we help Coaches understand and master the craft of intuitive coaching.  It’s a specific type of coaching and then we teach you how to master the craft of a business.

Jenny’s main website is www.jennyfenig.com.

Conclusion Business Transformation

If you found this content inspirational, please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, Castbox and the Transform your mind YouTube channel.

 

 

How to Manage Compulsive Behaviors

Mindset shifts for relationships

Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.

—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.

Listen to full interview here: 

Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors

Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive  shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.

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There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.

These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person’s work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.

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How are, Compulsive Behaviors, and addictions connected?

Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing  from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn’t stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.

Compulsion behaviors,  often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.

Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.

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How does normal behavior turn into,  Compulsive Behaviors?

As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important,  so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there’s a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors,  like gambling,  eating,  sex, and shopping,  become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.
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Types of, Compulsive Behaviors

Compulsive behaviors come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.

Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.

  • Compulsive shopping,
  • Compulsive eating
  • Over exercising
  • Hoarding
  • Compulsive cleaning
Compulsive Hoarding
Compulsive Hoarding

Compulsive Hoarding,   is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it’s thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.

  • Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
  • Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction

What negative triggers enable, Compulsive Behaviors like, Hoarding.

The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.

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How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?

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Sex Addiction Treatment

Let’s look at compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior,  in commonly available sexual practices, such as

  • Attending strip clubs,
  • Compulsive masturbation,
  • Paying for sex through prostitution,
  • Excessive use of pornography,
  • and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.

Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2945841/

 

Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?

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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?

 

Additional Resources for, Compulsive Behaviors

https://blog.myhelps.us/childhood-sexual-trauma-and-addiction/

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

https://blog.myhelps.us/call-me-an-addict-child-abuse-statistics-p3/

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.html

You’re not imagining it: the rich really are hoarding economic growth

https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/8/8/16112368/piketty-saez-zucman-income-growth-inequality-stagnation-chart

https://www.verywellmind.com/all-about-hoarding-and-connection-to-ocd-2510518#targetText=Pathological%20or%20compulsive%20hoarding%20is,%2C%20flyers%2C%20newspapers%2C%20or%20clothes

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 Ways Your Thoughts Activate The Law of Attraction

the law of attraction

To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.

If you want to heal the body you must first heal the mind `~ Plato

Listen to Podcast Here:

You create your physical condition through your thoughts: that means you can think yourself sick or think yourself well. I have healed pain in my body many times by focusing on healing energy.

Your natural state is wellbeing, not disease

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The Magic of the Breath

Disease is the result of blocked energy and that is why the body scan chakra meditation is such a powerful healing tool.

Relax and breathe deeply is the first response to any illness.

Try this next time you feel pain in your body, use these, thoughts, to bring about healing:

Imagine a light like the sun or moon entering your body through your breath. Send that light directly to the pain area hold it there for a few seconds. Then breathe out and imagine you are collecting the pain and breathing it out.

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The Magic of Commitment Focus, Thoughts

You are either doing something or you are waiting for something to happen. You are either committed to someone or something or you are not.

Obstacles become opportunities when you are committed.

With commitment, failure is not an option.

Get clear of what you want and why you want it.  These, thoughts, help you focus and stay committed

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Ask yourself the following Questions:

  • What specifically do I want to happen? include details
  • Why do I want this ?
  • How will I feel when I achieve this goal?
  • Am I willing to ask for support if I need it?
  • Will I refuse to give up?
  • Am I excited about making this promise to myself?
  • Will I enjoy the journey from where I am today to where I want to be tomorrow?

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-transform-good-thoughts-into-things/

The Magic of Faith, Thoughts, become things  

You have to believe and have faith that the current universal energy will carry you to all your desires

Faith  is essential to manifesting your desires. It is the currency of the spiritual world.

Trust God and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart

Hold the vision and trust the process

Go with the flow, try not to constantly swim upstream

Tune into guidance and intuition.  Let the universe take you where you want to go

Caring for your Inception or Thought Seeds

The Magic of your Life Story Activate, the Law of Attraction 

Start telling your story the way you want it to be, not how it is or was.

You are the director and producer of your life story

Tell an empowering new story about your marriage, your kids,  your bank account, your success.

Write the story, direct and produce the movie and, the law of attraction, will do the rest.

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Using the Law of Attraction to Have it All

The Magic of Asking, The Law of Attraction  

If you don’t ask you don’t get -Gandhi

Ask and you will receive – Jesus

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

When you ask you get!

  • Ask with confidence and certainty
  • Ask with determination and persistence
  • Ask clearly and precisely
  • Stay focused on your desire and getting to your yes
  • Ask for what you want
  • Ask for that discount,
  • Ask for a major guest, if you are a podcast host like me
  • ask for a loan,
  • ask for a date,
  • ask for affection,
  • ask to be of service,
  • ask for the listing if you are a realtor like me
  • ask for the sale

Ask Ask Ask

See yourself in possession of what you are asking.

Connect with source and Ask God in prayer.

Make a strong declaration this is what I want and I will not  settle for less

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

The Magic of the Vortex, The Law of Attraction 

Life inside the, vortex, is Devine – Abraham Hicks

The, vortex, is the place where everything you desire is held.

It is un-manifested potential and how, the law of attraction, works

Everything you have asked for consciously or unconsciously already exists in vibrational reality called a, vortex.

All your desires have already been manifested and are waiting for you in your, vortex

Vibration reality always precedes physical reality because  whatever you hold in your hand, you first held in your head.

To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.

Think good feeling thoughts.

Stuff your, vortex, with positive energy and with good feeling, thoughts, and  actions:

  • like walking in nature
  • meditation,
  • singing your favorite song,
  • hugging your children,
  • kissing your spouse,
  • talking a hot bath,
  • getting a massage
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Direct your attention to positive, thoughts, and feelings.

Everything you desire will unfold at the perfect time, because you have activated, the law of attraction.

 

Thanks for spending this time with Coach Myrna today.  Remember to subscribe and turn on notification.

Until next time Namaste

 

 

How to Plan Fund Build Your Dream Life

The path to Financial Freedom

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren

Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission.  Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?

Nathan – There are so many lessons that I’ve learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.

On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world.  The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.

I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation.   When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it.  I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life,  when they are in need.

You need Money to live your, dream life

When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they’re not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they’ll be happy and start living their, dream life.

Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you’re on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.

Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?

Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old.  I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want?  This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.

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Some tools to visualize your, Dream Life

Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself.  Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern.  I’ll walk round the block or sometimes I’ll walk for miles and I’ll just say okay “Nathan what’s going on, talk to me” then I’ll talk right back.

Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.

We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?

Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind.  Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.

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So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way  of figuring out who you are.  What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you’re walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can’t leave you; because it is who you are.

I really resonate with your Life coaching package,  where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program  is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity.  One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.

End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams

Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there’s a beautiful window and you’re looking out through the window.

  • You’re on a comfortable couch and you’re drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you’re in your last days let’s say you’re 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you’ve met, and that you’ve connected with.
  • You look back and you’re feeling wonderful and you’re feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
  • Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
  • You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.

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I’m very grateful for the time I’ve had here; but at the same time if I could go back,  I would be a little bit more courageous.  Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more.  I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams.  That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.

Myrna – Nice that’s a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test.  What is the goal of it exercise?

Failure at living your, dream life.

Nathan – There are a few goals:

  1. One is obviously to get perspective,
  2. Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don’t have the confidence to do.
  3. Take away the fear of taking risks

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Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you’re a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.

Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life

Nathen – My life’s mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I’ve cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.

One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.

Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you’re five steps ahead, is a great way that I’ve learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.

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Visualizing your, Dream Life

Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step,  because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do.  I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don’t know what that is, we have to connect with God.

We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don’t consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.

  • What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
  • Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
  • Your preference is ‘No I can’t have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
  • Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don’t care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that’s what matters to me.
  • So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
  • You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.

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What’s under the hood of your, dream life.

Your non-negotiables may be your purpose.  The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.

Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.

Myrna – I know that you have a course  called Dream University. It’s an online course and you say it’s not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.

How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life

Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business.  The process that I’m kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.

The course basically step one is you say okay

  • ‘I’m going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I’m going to figure my life out.
  • I’m going to take some breathing room and I’m going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
  • What’s going to light me up inside?
  • What’s going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.

Once we we’ve really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It’s a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don’t know how I’m going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.

I’ll be the happiest person in the entire world. That’s the idea, you have one page, you look at, you’re like that’s it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I’m going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I’m going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.

How to get Funding for your, Dream Business

  • Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don’t need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.

This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.

So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?

Some people want to live very simply, some people don’t want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)

  • Step three is to grow and at that point it’s just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.

So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.

Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.

If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv  Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.

Conclusion to building and funding your, dream life

Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams.  That starts in your head.  You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.

I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna  and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:

Your Subscription helps to reach a wider audience. You know, we want to help.

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

Successful But Unfulfilled? How to Get Back to Basics

 

Celebrating Black Love Introducing BlackdateBox

Black Love Datebox

Love, is a spirit and if you speak to love it will return back to you when you call it. Black Love, is no different; but we need to change the narrative because, Black women, deserve, love.

I think that, love, is waiting for everyone to be silent, so that, love, can speak for itself.

Today we are celebrating, black love.  My guest is Lisa Kimberle author of “500 ways to celebrate black love”

Here is the synopsis of 500 ways to celebrate, Black Love

500 ways to celebrate, black love, provides an accelerating approach to, black love, relationships. Love coach and enthusiast Lisa Kimberle gets candid through personal reflection in hope of inspiring real, black love, stories.  This is her, love story, a story filled with passion and discovery that led her to a wonderful fulfilling, black love, relationship.  This is a, black love book, and it introduces the, blackdatebox, a subscription box created with love for all relationship stages. Black love box, asks the question, what is, black love?  It celebrates, black love, and highlights black owned businesses and retailers.

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Why did you write the book “500 ways to black to celebrate, black love?”

For me it all started from my personal journey.  What I was personally going through in my, love story.  I was in a relationship and everything seemed right, we were very compatible.  It seemed like it was love at first sight, and then when we further got in the relationship, we discovered that we just were not meant to be together.  He was not a bad person or anything like that; but it was for someone else, it wasn’t for me and we were both totally fine ending the relationship. It was a three year journey that I spent discovering, what is black love.

I started researching family history and I discovered things and thoughts that existed within the family passed down from my grandparents and from my parents.  One of the interesting things that I discovered about my grandmother was that for whatever reason my grandmother hated relationships.  I kind of discovered during the journey about, black love, and what to do to break your patterns,  because these patterns are cyclical and runs for generations.

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I don’t know your, love story; but I know as a,  Life coach,  I know women who cycle from abusive relationships into new abusive relationships. That’s their pattern, and they keep going into those relationships. They don’t look for them,  but it just happens.  So what you’re saying is exactly what happens, we all attract the same kind of man and it’s something unconsciously that we’re doing.  You traced your pattern and you found that it came from parental influence.

The second thing I discovered when I began researching, black love,  is that the internet portrayed, black love relationships, as nonexistent. I bumped into articles such as the one in Marie Claire magazine titled “Marriages are for white people”  and then when I read the article it goes further on to explain how, marriage, isn’t for, black women!

So now I am dealing with the generational belief passed down from my parents and grandparents, then it’s the societal belief that, black women, does not deserve, love.

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Is, Black Love, different than White Love?

No, Love, is a spirit and it does not define color. But as, black women, we have some challenges to find fulfilling black, love story. After my 3 year relationship went  sour, I really wanted to help, black women, find that perfect, love story. Since I couldn’t find any, black love books, I decided to write one.

I believe that, love, is a spirit and if you speak to, love, it will return back to you when you call it.

I think that, love, is waiting for everyone to be silent, so that love can speak for itself.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What are 3 of the 500 ways to celebrate. Black love?

  • Wholeness before pleasure.
  • Becoming best version of ourselves. That’s discovering who you are.
  • Becoming the best version of us as a black race.

In a Unhealthy Relationship? Should you Stay or Go.

What is Quantum Water Leaping and how does this celebrate, Black Love?

Black Couples, Quantum Water Leaping is utilizing water as a representation of life. I believe that water is life and so if it’s used as a representation to cleanse out the old, love story, whatever that is,  whether it’s past relationships, marriages, things that you haven’t forgiven yourself for concerning past relationships or anything thing that can hinder your, black love relationship. Black couples, are using that water and jumping into like a new, love story. It’s a quantum leap.

Black Couples, Quantum Jumping is all about strengthening, black love relationships, because it is very true that relationships breakup because we’re carrying baggage. Leaping from one to the next is a perfect way to drop off your baggage!

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How does the, Blackdatebox, Help, Black Love Relationships?

The, blackdatebox,  or, black love box, is a quarterly subscription, love box,  that was created to celebrate, black love. We celebrate, black love, depending on the season such as Christmas and other holidays or occasions that, black couples, wants to celebrate.  For example there is a quarantine, love box.

It has most of what you need to create a date at home and while you’re on the stay at home experience, you will kindle a deeper level of communication, a deeper level of, love.

The, black love Box, comes with the rose petals and the candles and whatever you need to create a romantic date.

We are coming into summer so the summer celebration, blackdatebox, 2020 has fireworks inside the box.  There’s two different boxes for the summer celebration because some, black  couples, may want to have a daytime date, so I have a brunch box.  I work with a chef she lives in Alabama her name is Erika Barrett she makes these excellent pancakes, so she’s one of the African American business that are featured in the box. The, blackdatebox,  comes with decorations for the ambiance and  all the, black couples, have to do is add the feelings of, love!

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I also have a product that is amazing.  It’s a game with miracle berries and they’re actually from Ghana and some people have taste tripping parties.

You take these berries and they’re intact in form and then they dissolve on your tongue.  You have to let it dissolve for about 10 minutes, once it dissolves and you suck a lemon or a lime it is going to turn everything that you’re tasting, sweet.  It’s an amazing experience.

When somebody goes out and purchases your book, what do you hope that they will come away with?

I’m hoping that my readers get inspired and more empowered.  I’m hoping that it will inspire them to their own self journey to finding, black love,  and discoveries of their family history that could be blocking, black love. I want to change the narrative of, black love, and society.  I want my book to be a form of mental jogging.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Order your Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

How do you advise women to set their intention for, black love?

Whenever you have good intentions for being in a relationship then you will manifest those intentions. One way to set intentions is with daily affirmations. Some of these affirmations are:

  • I am loved
  • I am black and lovable
  • I am black excellence

If your intentions are that you want, love, because of loneliness,  change your intentions. Your purpose for wanting a relationship must be because you have something to give, not want. If you set your intentions in a good way then you’ll receive good results. Call, love, and it will come!

I pray that everyone every listener, every reader of my book that this will be the best year of, Black love, or any other love for them. I just want to pray that, Love, Finds them from the north, the South, the east and the West.  I just want to pray that they receive total healing.

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/find-your-soulmate-science-of-attraction/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

 

Your Talent is Already in your Hand

Use, what’s in your hand, God pre-loaded you with the, talent, you need to be successful in life.  You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and, talent, you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.

What’s in your Hand?

Moses was just like most of us. We don’t believe that we have, talent, or that we were born with anything God can use to build his kingdom. But God interrupted this lie. Moses was hitting 80 years old, he was ready to retire. You know, settle down with the grand kids and rock on his front porch.

But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life was about to get flipped upside down. God called to Moses from the burning bush and asked Moses to go to the Pharaoh and tell him to let my people go.

Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?” Then the Lord said to him, “What’s in your hand,?” “A staff,” he replied. The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it.” [Ex. 4:1-3]

In Exodus chapter 3 , Moses had many doubts and many fears. He came up with tons of excuses. But God asked Moses, what’s in his hand.

We know Moses had a shepherd’s staff in his hand, a dead thing. But then he laid it down and it became a snake. A dead thing became a living thing, and a dangerous thing at that. So dangerous in fact that Moses actually runs from it! God says to pick it again and it becomes a dead thing again.

Before we discover what God has created us for, we must be willing to lay down our income, lay down our status, lay down our perfection, lay down our finances, Don’t eat your seed; lay down our children, lay down our relationships, lay down our self-pursuits to discover our God given, talent. 

Just like God told Moses, I believe God is telling people today to lay it down. Will you not lay down your identity? Many of us are defined by our job, our education, our financial status, or marital status. But Galatians 2:19 reminds us that, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Yes, it’s no longer about me, but rather Christ who lives in me. God is saying, Let me be the one to give you identity and a meaningful life.

Stop asking when you are going to get your gifts or, talent, or calling and see, what’s in your hand.

But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life is about to get flipped upside down.

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Before we find our passion and calling, we must be willing to lay down our influence and recognition.

The recognition of man pales in comparison to what God has called us to. God is asking if you’re willing to lay down our dead things so he can make them come to life. Many people are living lives that are dead; it feels comfortable and safe and controllable.

But when God gives us a vision for our life like He did with Moses, we’re able to see the power God has for us, the purpose he promises us, and the plan he wants for us. It might scare us. Some might even want to run away from because it’s terrifying and they won’t know how to handle the amazing things God has for them.

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What’s In Your Hand: Using Your God-given, Talent

Perhaps you’ve said “I want God to use me!” I know many believers who feel that way. Perhaps your daily life now seems quite monotonous and unimportant, and you wish that light-bulb moment would happen when you know you’re making a significant and lasting difference for His kingdom. You see others in the spotlight who God seems to be using in a big way, and you try hard to not allow envy to grow in your heart. Will you ever be able to use your God-given, talent, to their full potential?

Whenever a lasting desire shows up in the human heart I believe it’s evidence of the way in which God made us. Those desires often become distorted or are directed in unhealthy directions, but the desire is from God. Your desire to make a difference is proof that God made you for a reason, both for this life and for eternity. You and I will never feel completely satisfied until we fulfill the purpose for which He created us.

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But we’re not born with everything we need to fill the role for which God made us. The seeds are there, but in order to fill a role that’s big enough to qualify as God-sized, you and I need to grow up in all kinds of ways. And the way to get there is to begin using what’s in our hands right now.

In the Bible, Moses had spent forty years being educated in Pharaoh’s court, and another forty years on the back-side of the desert herding sheep. When God appeared to Him in the burning bush Moses felt ignored, beaten down, old, and anything but ready for some significant role in God’s plan. But God would hear none of His excuses.

When Moses complained that the leaders of Israel would not believe his incredible story of hearing directly from God, God asked him, “What’s in your hand,?” All Moses had was a shepherd’s staff, and God immediately demonstrated His miraculous power using that staff. (Exodus 4:1-5) It was with that very staff that God through Moses would later part the Red Sea, bring water out of a rock, and bring the Israelites victory over their foes in battle.

You have something in your hand right now as well. It may seem no more impressive than a shepherd’s staff, but it may be just the, talent, God needs to use in accomplishing His purpose.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

Burning Bush, God appears to Moses 

Why a Healthy Lifestyle is Important to Fight COVID-19

Have a Healthy Lifestyle During covid-19

This week on the Transform your Mind Podcast, Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having a, healthy lifestyle, could help you fight COVID-19 coronavirus and become BFF’s with your body.

What was your journey into becoming  passionate about a, healthy lifestyle.

I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese.  I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle.  That  was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight.  I did what most women do.  I started dieting. I wouldn’t say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet  I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.

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So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she’s got it going on she’s so fit she’s so healthy. I want her body, I want her, healthy lifestyle.   But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle,  I was an absolute mess inside.

I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, healthy lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn’t eat. I was strategizing with every bite.  It was strategy all the time.  I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle,  I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend, the reason why I don’t have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don’t have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.

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It’s very common for women to blame everything on their body,  so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness.  So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she’s an inspiration,  honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising.  Most people they don’t even see it, and they’re broken.  That’s how diet culture works.  Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.

That’s how I was for years.  I didn’t trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions.  I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.

I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom.  It feels very caged.  That’s the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant.  So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you’re ugly and you’re not good enough and you need to try harder.  I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.

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I think that’s where most women are.  They look at their body as just this thing that’s hanging on them, that’s never right and will never be right, and they’re constantly abusing it.  If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy.  That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change.  learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.

Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I’m not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat.  And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that’s on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.

A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace,  healthy living,  so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

When did your, Healthy Lifestyle, start?

I gained all  kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with  Big Mac.  The whole the whole world globally, we’re looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle,  because what we’re all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, healthy  lifestyle, programs started  before people became conscious of, healthy living.   A, healthy lifestyle, is  being wildly alive!

 I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living.  I’m telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching,  is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.

And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.

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When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter.  I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating

all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.

Feminine approach Healthy Lifestyle
Feminine approach Healthy Lifestyle

What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle

This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it’s doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you’ll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you.  She’s always speaking to you.  She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing.  You don’t need a plan, you don’t need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.

We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that’s all it is it’s just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom.  So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good.  It is just like when you get a cut you don’t have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.

Our bodies are so smart that we can’t even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body.  So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you.  She’s here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and  she’s also here to guide you on your life choices.

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The feminine approach is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you’re menstruating.  As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon.  There’s four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle.  Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.

For example just to make this really simplified, when you’re bleeding it is the New Moon phase.

When we’re having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we’re not as extroverted.  This is our introverted time.  This is the time when we reflect and restore.  This is our winter time so if you’re ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you’re bleeding doing a high intense workout it’s probably not the best thing for your body.  If you’re on hormonal birth control or you’re not having your period,  just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.

Vice versa the full moon  is your ovulation or summer phase.  You are hyper energized.  There’s lots of growth, there’s lots of expansion, there’s lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.

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Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

Wildly Alive  self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program

Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can’t have those things and you’re a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change.  I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can’t eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something,  that’s a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can’t eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you.  I don’t think that’s enough to really shift into respect based change.  I’m a huge believer in moderation.  I think a little bit of everything is okay.  So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it.  If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.

Reflection 4 Rejection
Reflection 4 Rejection

Here are the mechanics for a,  healthy lifestyle, during covid-19

  • trying keeping the energy light in our house
  • limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
  • have a lot of sunlight.
  • getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
  • Do some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
  • drink a lot of water
  • increasing your vitamin C intake. I’ve been making this lemon ginger juice.
  • stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
  • be grateful for what you have and for your family
Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.

I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color.  She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she’s on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they’re about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing  WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was  Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture.  It’s the epitome of diet culture.  They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.

I still love Oprah, I know she’s human.  I know she’s flawed.  I forgive her.

Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle

You can find all coaching programs at www.wildlyalive.com

I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks.  You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/its-not-about-willpower-how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting/

How Nutritional Supplements Help you Achieve Optimum Health

How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

What are the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?


 

We most often associate, ADHD, with children; but statistics show that 60% of childhood, ADHD, transforms to, adult ADHD.

We as have seen or been parents to the child who never stops or sits down.

In addition to never sitting down they are also:

Symptoms of Childhood, ADHD

  • Are impulsive
  • Have trouble focusing
  • Have trouble managing their emotions
  • Have difficulty remembering information
  • Don’t start tasks (or don’t finish them)

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So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?  Here is one woman’s story

I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD.  One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.

I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.

The two inattentive men,  naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.

Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.

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I’m curious about, Adult ADHD. Does kids with, ADHD,  become adults with, adult ADHD?

For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD.  Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD,  is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in  childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit.  Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.

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Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?

Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.

What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?

When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use.  It gives you  clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed.  There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.

  1. Inattention
  2. Impulse Control
  3. Hyperactivity

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We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium.  Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.

ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.

Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?

 

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.

  • Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
  • Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
  • Basal Ganglia. …
  • Reticular Activating System.

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The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.

The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement.  The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system.  It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.

ADHD in women
ADHD in women

Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?

No, not at all.  I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass.  I would love to see his research.

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Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?

Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals.  I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.

if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Does internet pornography rewire men’s brain to have, Adult ADHD?

I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD.  He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.

https://wellnessforce.com/dr-john-gray-adhd-brain-health-sex-addiction/

Download to listen to the full episode

 

Shocking Facts About ADHD

  • One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
  • One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
  • Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness

Additional Resources Adult ADHD

https://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-mental-illness-my-bipolar-life/

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

https://www.verywellmind.com/add-and-attention-deficit-disorders-2161810#:~:text=Attention%20deficit%20disorder%20(ADD)%20is,completing%20tasks%20and%20social%20interaction.

 

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

Your Life Theme and, personalities,  shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes compose your identity.

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman.  He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill.   That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, personality, controls  our communication.

Personality types
Personality types

 

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are.  That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions.  Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.

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How does objects that we surround ourselves with express our identity and, Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale.  That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun.  I want to appease the, personalities,  so when I  walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down.  I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

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How does Objects identity our, personality?

Our, personality, as our way of expression.  Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization.  The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True,  but  I  look at what do you like to do for fun?  What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?”  I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are.

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Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality,  framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or  “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

Personality Myers Briggs
Personality Myers Briggs

The Myers-Briggs, Personality, Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
  • Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
  • Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
  • Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs,  theory of, personality types,  people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personality types, are described here:

  • The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
  • The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
  • The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
  • The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
Personality INEJ
Personality INEJ

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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

The Secret to Living the Life of your Dreams

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

 

How to Heal After being Abandoned

Being, abandoned, by  a loved one cuts deeply in the heart resulting in emotional, abandonment.  It is the result of a significant person discarding you, dismissing you, devaluing you, or not acknowledging you. This type of invisible injury causes great harm to the recipient.  In fact, the term “recipient” is ironic because often the recipient receives nothing; which is the problem.

Abandoned by Love
Abandoned by Love

Regardless if you are, abandoned by your parents, a lover, a friend, a sibling. The feeling of, not being enough, overwhelms those who are, abandoned. No one sees it and it tends to go underground in terms of abuse. Victims simply feel empty and invisible.

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Here are the top 3 reasons for feeling, Abandoned:

  • Devalued and rejected by others
  • Abandoned, by our parents
  • Feelings of, not good enough,  because we have lack.

When the, abandonment, wound is caused by an absent parent. When one of your parents has chosen to not be in your life, this cuts deeply. There is no easy explanation to be found by those who’ve been abandoned by a parent. Some try to make the best of the situation, ignoring that fact that they don’t have this parent in their lives; but the damage is still the same.  There are life-long consequences to parental abandonment.

Children in the foster care system that have been, abandoned, by their parents never regain their self-esteem. They look are other kids who have their parents and feel worthless. They end up most time becoming promiscuous because they look for love in all the wrong places.

Some learn to cope in different ways. Some pretend it doesn’t matter; some question their worth; others may be openly angry.  With, abandonment, comes defense mechanisms.

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Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

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Abandoned, by Love

Most women who were, abandoned, end up in unhealthy relationship with narcissistic men who abuse them and, abandon, them again.  This pattern is repeated often.

Women who have been, abandoned, could be likened to a cracked vase. If you have been broken from, abandonment, then you can’t hold love, you can’t hold self-esteem, you can’t hold purpose, everything pours out of you.

It takes work to heal your cracks.  The first step in is to identify that you are broken from, abandonment.

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Identifying your, Abandonment, Feelings

Once you have identified your, abandonment, issue and have processed through some of the feelings there are some other imagery exercises you can to do heal yourself. These are described below:

  1. Identify the part of you that is hurt.This can be labeled as your, “hurt inner child.” If the source of your hurt occurred in adulthood, this does not matter because the wound of, abandonment, most likely put you in a regressive state of mind.  You have likely regressed emotionally to a younger, more helpless age. Use imagery and visualize this inner child.
  2. Now imagine the part of you that is healthy and compassionate.This part of you is going to be instrumental in your healing from being, abandoned. You must come to the rescue of your inner, hurt self by offering love, time, empathy, hope, and encouragement.
  3. In addition to the hurt, abandoned, part of yourself, identify your coping mechanisms – particularly any personas or sub-selves that act out; the part of you that is trying to compensate for the hurt experienced by the abandonment of your loved one. Identify parts of you that are trying to respond to the hurt in an unhealthy manner.
  4. Talk to your inner hurt, abandoned, child.Assure her of her value and worth. Be present for her in a real and tangible way.
abandonment hurts
abandonment hurts

In the end, no matter who has hurt you, no matter how affected you may be from the resulting injury from, abandonment, you still have a life to live. Even if you have an ache in your heart for the missing person, you can still thrive in life; find hope and love, and live well. You do this by honoring your feelings, acknowledging the loss, validating the consequences of the loss, and enjoying your life.

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How the, Abandonment,  wound plays out in relationships:

  • Oversensitivity to criticism or feedback
  • Overreacting to conflict
  • Becoming a pleaser
  • Anxiety and fear of the other person leaving
  • Ending relationships early before the other person has a chance to leave
  • Jealousy or suspicion that your partner will hurt, cheat, or leave even when there’s no sign of malicious behavior
  • Self-doubt, insecurity, and lack of self-worth
  • Staying in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone
  • In more extreme cases of being deeply triggered during events such as break-ups, a divorce, or a loss:one might feel a total loss of control over their emotions, hyper-reactivity, anxiety attacks, fear, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and obsessive thoughts or behavior.

An, abandonment, wound is invisible to the eye, but it leaves telltale signs in how we relate to the external world, how we feel internally and how we behave in our relationships. It can have us spend our whole lives running from perceived danger. To test someone’s love like a straw that inevitably breaks, then using their resignation as evidence we’re living in an unsafe world. It can cause us to blindly accept the bad behavior of others, ignoring our own needs and prevent us from having a strong, powerful voice.

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Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources Abandonment

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-the-effects-of-childhood-trauma-4147640

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201706/4-ways-childhood-trauma-impacts-adults