Life Leadership & Success

Life Leadership Success

Scott Miller, author and EVP at Franklin Covey, shares tips on, leadership,  relationships, efficiency, vs, effectiveness, and how to straight talk to your employees as well as family and friends.

Scott serves as the executive vice president of thought leadership at Franklin Covey, is the host of multiple podcasts including Franklin Covey’s on leadership and, Great Life Great Career Podcast.  He’s also Wall Street Journal’s bestselling author of “Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, the Six Critical Practices for Leading a Team”

What has the book ” 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” taught you about, Leadership?

I have had the privilege of being in the Franklin Covey company which of course was co-founded by Dr. Stephen R. Covey who wrote the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that, leadership, book has sold 40 million copies.

I wrote “Management Mess to, Leadership, success” because quite frankly my life’s been a mess. Not because you are an executive or an author or parent means you are a success automatically.   I wrote the book because I wanted to share with readers that owning your mess is really the first step to becoming a success.

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Recognizing the difference between having an, effectiveness, mindset and an, efficient, mindset.  One of the biggest messes that I’ve had to conquer was recognizing when am I in an, effectiveness, mindset and when I should be in an efficient, mindset; because they’re not the same factors.

I’m a very, efficient, person, I get up at 4:00 am in the morning, I write my column, I write a couple chapters on the books that I’m writing. On a Saturday morning I would get up at five o’clock, go to Home Depot and buy flowers and have them planted by six o’clock.  Be at the car wash by 7 am, be at tennis by nine.  I mean I live a very productive and, efficient, life. That’s helped me in a lot of areas of my life; but it hasn’t helped me in my relationships, because as Dr. Covey said

With people, slow is fast, and fast is slow.

We cannot be, efficient, in our relationships.

So one of the biggest areas of growth for me was with people. I had to learn to slow down. When someone comes into my office, I  take off my glasses, close my laptop and turn off my phone. I have to really understand when and where can I be, efficient, and when and where should I practice, effectiveness.  If you want to develop more trustworthy, long-lasting, mutually beneficial, relationships, be more cognizant of when you’re being, efficient, and fast and when you’re being, effective, and slow.

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I think it’s good advice to, leaders, to be a little more, self-aware, and introspective.  Is your need to be, efficient, in some areas of your life negatively impacting other areas in your life?

Use Communication to become, Self-Aware.

It is all about, communication, because when you are being, efficient, you’re probably not being, effective, because it all depends on your audience.

Self-awareness, I use this term a lot.  Everybody could benefit from being more, self-aware.

  • Ask yourself – what’s it like to be your friend?
  • What’s it like to be your husband?
  • What’s it like to be your neighbor

I’d encourage all of your readers, if you really want to improve your relationships, if you want to improve your influence expand your credibility and become more trustworthy or likable, go ask the people in your life what’s it like to be in a meeting with you.

  • What is it like to be on a carpool with you
  • What’s it like to go on vacation with you
  • What’s it like to be at dinner with you
  • What’s it like to be married to you.

When someone gives you that feedback, don’t refute it don’t brush it away.

Don’t blame anybody else, just listen.

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What, communication skills, are important to, leadership, success

Let’s talk about, leadership, and then this broaden it to a straight talk between peers.  Talking straight is really a sign of respect to everyone in your life.  We’ve all met people who say they call it as they see it, that is actually quite selfish.  Talking straight is when you are able to base what you’re saying in fact.  When you talk straight with someone, you don’t postulate, you don’t pontificate,  you don’t technically tell the truth, but you kind of leave the wrong impression.  No you just you say straight up what is true.

As a life coach, I would use something called the, sandwich technique,  which means that you package that talk with something positive like a sandwich.

sandwich feedback method
sandwich feedback method

I would not advocate the, sandwich feedback method. I think it’s generally disingenuous. I think the better technique is to first declare your intent, because the moment there is suspicion about your intent, everything you do becomes tainted.  So be very clear on what your intent is. Say what is uncomfortable straight, no chaser without any bogus compliments and no hidden agenda.

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Pick up your copy today! Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind now available on Amazon.

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TuneIn Radio

How to become a, Leader,  people will follow

The first step to becoming a great, leader is to check their own paradigms, our own belief systems.  We all have deeply entrenched, deeply enculturated paradigms that were built into us by our grandparents, our parents, our aunties, our first grade teachers, our neighbors, our relatives and it is how we see the world. How we see ourselves and everyone should be emotionally nimble, or emotionally flexible enough to challenge your belief systems.

Women in Leadership
Women in Leadership

Here’s a great example:

I am 51 years old, I’m Caucasian.  I live in Salt Lake City, but I lived in the 70s in Central Florida, Orlando Florida. I am  from an upper middle-class white family,  one of two children.  My mother was a full-time stay-at-home mom, my father had a fairly traditional corporate job.  It was a stable family in the seventies and I was raised to believe that, doctors, police officers, and Catholic priests were always right and always told the truth!

Can you imagine for a moment that had I been eight year-old young boy and an altar server and that a Catholic priest who was perhaps a pedophile told me to do some inappropriate  things?

I think the first step in becoming a, leader, of your own self, your own life is to challenge your own paradigms.  You don’t see every situation, every argument, every interaction, every meeting, every conflict, every win, every lost accurately;  you always have a little bit of a judgment on it.

We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
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How does “carrying your own weather” help  with, Leadership, Success.

Proactive, leaders, carry their own weather, reactive people give over there weather. They metaphorically give their power to other people.  Proactive people choose their response to any situation, any crisis, any reaction based on values,  not based on other people.

Here’s a great example of, carrying your own weather.

My son and I were in Miami and we came upon this intersection in a downtown shopping district where there had just been an accident.  There was no injuries, very small accident.  There was this young woman, I’m gonna say in her 20s who was having this outrageous, hysterical, verbal meltdown. I mean she was out of control.  This person was not, carrying her own weather, she was giving up control of her emotions to that situation. Being out of control was serving her no benefit.  The point of that story was people who are proactive, they’re calm, they’re rational, they don’t let other things influence their own responses.

Leaders who “carry their own weather” move from mess to success.  They put space between stimulus and response. When someone says something to them that pisses them off,  they don’t immediately lash out to them.

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What sets your book apart from other, leadership,  and management books

I wrote this book was with very clear intention,  I’ve been privileged to have my entire career dedicated in the, leadership, development industry. I worked  for years with the Disney Company and now almost 25 years with the Franklin Covey company and learned a few things; but I have always struggled with a lot of these management and, leadership, practices.  Like you I host a podcast and interview guests every week, I read close to 70 books a year and I wanted to write a different kind of, leadership, book because most, leadership, books are written by fortune 500 CEOs or academic professors and they’re kind of hard to relate to.  I wanted to write a really real raw and relatable book where regardless of what role I was in, anybody in their career and their personal life could relate to a lot of my own struggles.

So the book is kind of uproariously funny, it’s very raw and blush.  I shared a lot of my own messes in the book not because I was trying to be funny gratuitously, I just wanted to validate everybody that, leadership, is hard whether you are a formal or informal leader.  It didn’t come naturally to me and so the challenge is based on Franklin Covey’s research, that if you can get your arms around these 30 principles, you will transform your influence in your relationships and your career.  It’s kind of aligned with a month, 30 practices in 30 days.  You can take one every day get your groove on.

I was privileged to co-author a second book called “Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, the Six Critical practices for leading a team,” that’s also on Amazon.

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economic survival
economic survival

Connect with Scott Miller at Franklin Covey on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

I want invite you guys to join my private Facebook group called, life coach, there you can get daily tips and strategies to live in your best life now not only from me but from all the members of the group. Also please subscribe to the podcast and leave an iTunes review.

Additional Resources

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/how-to-control-your-emotions-so-your-emotions-dont-control-you.html

 

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

 

 

 

How to Survive an Economic Collapse

Solomon Ali Economic Collapse

To survive the, economic collapse, first thing I would say you need to do is you’re going to have to acknowledge where you are financially. The beauty of an, economic, downturn is that  there are more successful people created during a period of, economic collapse, than any other times. The, economic collapse 2020, is no different.

My guest today is Solomon Ali author of “The Empowered Wealth Bible” and “Economic Survival” and we’re going to be talking today on “How to survive an, economic, collapse because I think we’re heading to an, economic, collapse.

Introduction to How to Survive an Economic Collapse

Solomon, I’m very curious to hear your backstory, how did you become an expert on, economic, conditions?

Immediately after high school, I went into the military.  I went to a predominantly white high school and my guidance counselor said I had good GPA; but they never directed me to go to college or university,  so I went straight into the military.  I made it to the rank of sergeant and learned how to manage people and how to build a team.

When I got out of the military and went home, I couldn’t find a job, common story.  So I started helping my parents clean up their rental properties.  I ended up organizing the cleaning crews. We became a mobile company, cleaning up apartments, painting them, doing minor repairs so that the apartments could be ready for the next tenant to move in.  I had a team of people structured like an assembly line.  We had people come and do the masking of everything.  We would mask off four or five apartments at one time. The next group would come in and they would clean the tubs and the toilets, and the next guy would come in and paint it. Then someone would come back and take all the masking tape off, vacuum and shampoo the carpets and we were done.

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Author Betty Tucker shares the story of her life in her memoir, Don’t Worry About The Mule Going Blind.

Betty Tucker came of age in Belle Glade, Florida, infamous for its poverty and violence. Her childhood was one of de-bili-ta-ting poverty, borne of racism, exploitive migrant labor, multiple rapes and other abuse, and chronic illness among her family and acquaintances … the list is long and bitter.

Betty moved to California, earned her College  degree, and raised a family. Then, in 1997, she began a long and eventually successful search for the twin girls she had given up for adoption thirty years earlier.

Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind is a book about Fear, insecurity, sexual abuse, and neglect: This memoir will look beyond the description of these difficulties in the author’s life to examine how she acquired the tools she needed to take more control of her life, and what decisions impacted her choices.

Pick up your copy today! Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind now available on Amazon.

Now that is, economic, survival. Surviving the rental income business.  That sounds like the best structured management cleaning that I have ever heard, and I do property management as a Realtor!

We had over 70 people on our team. We went from zero revenues, to a little over 6 million in 12 months! But I was not able to collect all my money.  I had all these accounts receivables and I had payroll that was coming up.  So I got on my knees and prayed one night and I was talking to God, and the next day I’m looking in the LA Times and I see a company advertising for accounts receivables loans.  I called the guy and left a message on Sunday he calls me promptly on Monday morning and he went over everything. I made the trip to San Bernardino, California and got a check for $380,000. He bought all my $500,000 accounts receivable accounts.

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That was my first lesson on, economic, survival in the form of risk management.  You do not want to have a huge concentration of your business coming just from one or two customers, you want to make sure that your company it’s more diversified.

That is what I do today. I consult companies on how to survive, economic collapse, or downturns because they come about every 10 years. I teach them how to scale, how to grow, and how to access the finance world.  In other words how to arrange capital, so they can do their roll-ups for this , economic collapse 2020.

We check out the competition and then we begin to set up what I call mirroring.  We design a program that fits my client so that they can grow and scale their business and we’re able to access capital for them.  I may have private equity companies that I have arrangements with and I get very passionate about helping others fulfill their dreams.

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What does your book “The Empowered Wealth Bible” teach us about, Economic Collapse 2020?

That book speaks in reference to the different tricks of the trade, how you survive, economically, and raise the capital for your business. It teaches you how to use personal credit and credit cards.

It is extremely helpful to the new entrepreneur trying to fund his business as well to the mother wanting the best for her family.

There is one chapter in the book where we talk about how we could take your credit card money’s right from your credit cards and apply it to your mortgage and rotate that around cutting the interest rate on your mortgage and shortening the time period.  The book also shows you how to start a business with very little to no money and still be okay in an, economic collapse. Things like that, it is all about, economic, survival.

I started my private equity company back in 2009, I started with two hundred and fifty dollars and by the end of a year or so I was making millions of dollars.

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In Les Brown’s new book “You got to be hungry” you must be hungry for success. You must be hungry  to achieve your set goals and work your strategies to achieve, economic, survival.

We are now smack in the, coronavirus, pandemic and the, economic collapse 2020.   Companies are closed, millions of people have lost their jobs and everybody is scared about their future.  It’s really interesting that you had the premonition to write the book, Economic Survival, before we faced an, economic, collapse.

I understand we are heading into a recession even a depression.

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How would we survive economically if the US, economy, was to go into, economic collapse 2020?

Firstly,  I’m going to say we’re already in a recession. Our, economy, is already seeing an, economic collapse 2020. We haven’t saw seen all the manifestations of what’s going to happen, but anytime you shut down businesses state by state, you’re losing your, economic, base within those states.  So all of these businesses shutting down resulted in I think as of today there’s over 37 million people filing for unemployment.

Let’s put that in perspective, that’s not counting the people who are self-employed, who are not able to file for unemployment.  So you have to add millions or more to that number, that’s not also counting the people who are just giving up and not looking for work. That’s millions more.

I predict that the US unemployed will be closer to about 60 or 70 million by the 3rd quarter. I predict we will see an, economic collapse.

I’m going to Segway  over to the African American businesses.  On average there’s approximately five million businesses existing in the United States with ten or more employees.

African American companies there are only about one hundred thousand or so with ten or more employees.  That’s a big and significant difference between five million to a hundred thousand.  That tells us that the majority of us, African-Americans,  are working for other people and those jobs are no longer going to be there in the future.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Small businesses create the majority of the jobs, however your larger companies employ more people.  So when you place all this in perspective African Americans are not going to have anywhere to go and will suffer more from an, economic collapse.

Here are some strategies on surviving an, Economic Collapse:

  • To survive the, economic collapse, first thing I would say you need to do is you’re going to have to acknowledge where you are financially. The beauty of an, economic, downturn is that  there are more successful people created during a period of, economic collapse, than any other times. You have to solve someone else’s problem, you have to be of service to someone,  so that now you have people looking for you because you become in demand.

New businesses will be created like, AirBnb, created in the 2009 financial crisis.

We are losing millions of businesses but new businesses are created during an, economic collapse.

  1. After you solve someone’s problem is you have to educate yourself. You have to remove the fear, because fear will paralyze you.  Once you remove the fear you will be able to go out and help someone else.
  2. A lot of people that have the employee mindset will have to switch because they are not going to do well. Unfortunately our, economy,  and, economic survival, depends on developing an entrepreneurial mindset.  We’re going to be living in the, economy,  where a job no longer exists.  You’re going to be a subcontractor, you’re going to be an independent .
  3. You have to look at where are you today financially and reset your priorities. Instead of loosing your home in the, economic, downturn because you lost your job, maybe your parents have a room you could live in and you could rent your house. You’re going to have to be willing to do what is necessary for, economic survival.
  4. Immediately begin to renegotiate your debt so that you can have more cash flow.
  5. Diversify – you may have to do some joint ventures with other companies or other people.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Conclusion

How do you think the Real Estate Market will fare in this, economic collapse 2020?

I think we’re about to see by the last quarter of this year a lot of foreclosures will begin to take place.  I believe a lot of people will begin to lose their homes.

For those investors who have the cash flow and the ability to buy, they will be able to pick up properties at a significant discount, because the banks are going to have to give rid of those assets off of their books.  Credit lines will be cut by the end of the third quarter.  I’m pretty sure maybe even at the beginning of the third quarter the credit lines will begin to get cut, which will have a trickle effect on the, economy.

What we do know is that our, economy,  is not coming back anytime soon.  We may have as many as 60 million people unemployed.  People don’t have any reserves and if you don’t have any reserves at the beginning of the, economic collapse, then what is going to happen after you have been unemployed for a year.  Robert Kawasaki, of Rich Dad Poor Dad,  was saying that what you do is you find out your runway for your business or personal life. How much money you have in the bank to take care of the essentials, housing, food and transportation?

Robert is  absolutely right.  We were all taught to have six months of reserves,  but if the last, economic collapse, in 2009 taught us anything, is that it took people 18 months on average to get a job so we were wrong saying to have six months of reserves,  you need to literally have two years of reserves. Most don’t even have one month.

How does Private Equity Investing help with, economic survival?

I love private equity, I love loaning out money and helping people to fulfill their dreams.

I have a passion right now for minority businesses. There’s approximately 13,000 publicly traded companies all together but, there’s only 13 black publicly traded companies currently.  I sat on the board of directors of three and I was Officer of three all at the same time, where I was responsible to help them raise the capital they needed to, survive economically. The companies that I helped, they were not only successful they became in the top 5 companies.

To purchase any of Solomon Rc Ali books or for consulting services visit his website

https://www.solomonrcali.info/ follow him on twitter and Instagram and Facebook @supportsolomon.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

https://www.learnhowtobecome.org/entrepreneur/

 

 

 

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

In her book “Thriving, Not, Surviving” The author provides you with the route map to navigate a particular life, focusing on self-belief, relationships, managing change and finding your true purpose and achieving fulfillment.

In this episode of the Transform your mind to Transform your life radio show and podcast, Coach Myrna Young interviews Gina Gardiner, Author of the book , “Thriving Not Surviving – The 5 Secret Pathways To Happiness Success and Fulfilment”

  • Gina is a Motivational Speaker, Empowerment and Relationship Coach and Transformational Leadership Trainer with well over 30 years of experience helping people experience happiness, success and fulfillment. She’s the founder of the Thrive Together Tribe membership and personal and spiritual development Program and The Enlightened Leadership Program.
  • Gina has learned to walk twice as an adult.  For over 20 years, she ran her award-winning school, for the most part from a wheelchair.  The gift of this experience was the development of a unique approach to life and learning the tools on, Thriving, not just, surviving.
  • In 2004 Gina left Headship school as the Principal and has since worked with countless individuals, couples, teams and organizations helping them to step into their potential, to learn the lessons from the past and to recognize that it is their choice to step into their power and live a fearless life.  Gina is passionate about supporting people to live a truly happy, successful and fulfilling life, thriving, not just, surviving.

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Think of your body as the most complex communication network that exists. Every second of every day your cells are passing tremendous amounts of information, from cell to cell and throughout every system of your body.  Any breakdown in this vital communication and you cannot achieve your full health or healing potential. Your body would be like a house on fire and you can’t call the fire department because you have no cell signal. So you watch your home go up in flames!

This is what Asea REE-dox signaling supplement does. We have the only technology in the world that can increase this critical cell signaling throughout your body.
Asea REE-dox Signaling supplement has been clinically proven to boost your immune system to optimal levels.

For more information go to www.iseeuhealthy.ca

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

What is the Difference between, Thriving, and,  Surviving?

There’s a huge difference between, surviving, and thriving. Surviving, means to “continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship.” Thriving, means to “prosper, be fortunate or successful, to grow or develop vigorously; to flourish.”

I really found myself moving on my career path very quickly. I was promoted to deputy principal of a large junior high school when I was 28.  I was appointed to be the catalyst for change.  I was the youngest on the staff and for the first six months. I was working directly with the principal because I was the deputy principal to strategically plan what we were going to do and start making the changes.

In the UK schools have a week off in February for the spring half term.  I was really thrilled to be going skiing with the kids. I was a keen skier and went off to Italy for the ski trip. In those days it was very fashionable to have the longest skis possible and I got a new pair of skis for Christmas.  I proceeded to wrap the extra 10 centimetres’ of the skis.  We left for the ski lift after lunch the next day after arrival. It was an absolutely beautiful day, one of those days in the mountains where the sun was shining and everything was clean and crisp.  I followed my friends to this new trail, when our lift turned a corner, I noticed the mountain was not as we expected.   Instead of being on a lovely red run that went for three or four kilometres, we were on the Schindler slope, which was the most difficult black run called a mogul.  A mogul is where the snow has been carved by the weather and they are often little cobblestones;  but these were six-foot monsters and the only way to ski was to turn on the top of a mogul and slide down and then find a way through the moguls till the next one, and turn on either side a narrow piece.  There was some powder snow, so I skied the first bird and then lost my nerve in terms of turning and ended up falling a long way in the powder snow.  It took me about 20 minutes to retrieve my ski and then make my way down to where my friends were sitting.  Each of them sitting on a mogul rather like an elf sitting on a toadstool!

I decided to sit on a mogul as well and the top of my mogul gave way and I starting to fall.  The next thing I knew, I was coming to. I had lost consciousness.  I’m told I fell about 150 to 200 feet down the mountain.

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We were traveling home the next morning, so I thought I’d rather go and see the medics in the UK instead of Italy. I had a  terrible journey home.  My mum took one look at me and she carted me off to the emergency at the hospital. They diagnosed with a bad concussion and that I had damaged a nerve in my neck.  It took me three weeks to get back to school and two weeks later I was due to be the deputy leader on a skiing trip to Switzerland.  I was given permission to go because we were taking a doctor with us.  I was finding it more and more difficult to manage but I did manage until the very last evening when I said to a staff member, I’m going to have to go and lie down.  I wasn’t laying on my bed for more than a few minutes when I discovered that I was paralyzed.  So I’m lying on my bed, I can’t feel my one side, I didn’t want to frighten the children, their rooms were children down the corridor, and so I waited until one of the other adults arrived.  I have to say it was the longest time in my life. I have no idea how long it was, I just know it felt like forever.  When they did arrive all hell broke loose, an ambulance was called. I was carted off to Geneva Hospital and I was there for several days before being flown home and gradually my mobility returned; but I was never quite the same.  By the end of May, I went back to school.  I was doing school and sleep.  I thought I’ve had six weeks to recuperate during the summer break but;  two weeks later I had a phone call very early in the morning from my principal’s wife, she had just found him dead in bed, he had a massive heart attack and so far from being restful holiday I was suddenly acting principal.

I had to contact the staff, the parents and the local authority and prepare for September and so by the time September came, I had plans in place and by the following January I was appointed the permanent head master.  I was determined that not only the children; but also the staff in my school would get the best learning environment that I could produce. That they would, thrive not just survive.   I’ve been very unhappy at school, and I wanted something very different for my pupils, and also for the staff.

I was walking, but by 1987 my mobility was deteriorating, and I had to start using the wheelchair in school.  I wasn’t at that point wheelchair-bound, I could walk into the classroom, I could walk into my office; but I couldn’t walk any distance.  Any walking produced fatigue and pain and for the next few years I managed like that until in 1996, I sneezed and I felt something ping in my back.  It was towards the end of the summer term, there’s something about the summer holidays for me, I’m not quite sure what I did.

I had a special chair in assembly and that where I could sit at standing height, and one day I went to get off the chair, and my legs wouldn’t hold me. I fell to the floor. So off to the hospital.  It turned out that I had a huge ruptured disc. I was just, surviving.  I had failed back surgery syndrome, so when I came around from the operation, if I put my left foot to the floor, then I just used to faint because of the pain. Surviving, was becoming tedious.

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

The best explanation the doctors came up with is that during the fall I had bruised the spinal cord and with skiing the second time, that the spinal cord had been swollen and cut off the blood supply or whatever, and so a period of time I was paralyzed on one side; but I was back at school after the back operation very quickly.  I already had my wheelchair, so the school was all set up for me to be operating from a wheelchair. I was still just, surviving.  It took me 18 months to walk at the end of my quite small garden.

I ruptured another disk that summer.  I could not stand at all now, if I stayed at home, I couldn’t do anything other than read or watch television.  If my care giver didn’t fill the kettle,  I couldn’t make myself a drink.  So I decided to go back to school. I was back at school because my brain worked, my mouth worked, my hands worked.  I had people who could lift things if I needed it and I could do what I loved and I was good at. Surviving was my intent.  I was going to focus on what I could do to start, thriving, not just surviving.

In 2004 I was given an ultimatum by the neurologist you’ve got to stop working the 15 hours a day that you’re doing because my health was deteriorating.  I made the very difficult decision that I was going to leave the school.  I had to use an electric wheelchair.   I had all of these Skills, these expertise, experience and I thought well.  What am I going to do now?

I decided to focus on the development of leadership.  Getting more women to the table. I looked at retail manufacturing, finance, Insurance, local government and a whole range of industries.  The issues that they faced in terms of developing leadership, was no different in education, so I wrote my first couple of books and they became my credibility.  I worked mainly in corporate field as an, executive coach. I was now, thriving. The recession in early 2008 hurt my business, because the corporations just slashed training  and development.  I was back to, surviving.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

I started to do some lecturing for the university and they would commission me out to go and work with smaller businesses, SME is anything up to about 8 million pound turnover. I would go and work with these companies, we’d sort out the problem, I’d go away and then a few months later I’d be invited back to sort out another problem, so I suggested in those businesses to hire me full time as an, executive coach.

Back to, thriving, using the principles that I used to build up my own organization and become one of the best 100 schools in England.  I used the gift that my disability gave me and the gift that I had developed within my own organization to developing people’s empowerment, personal empowerment and leadership where they would take radical responsibility for their own performance and shared responsibility for the team, for the whole organization and it was incredibly successful.

Reflection 4 Rejection
Reflection 4 Rejection

So I setup genuinely you.  I wrote the book, thriving not surviving,  and that sent me on my mission.  My mission now is to positively impact one million people and to do that through personal empowerment and enlightened leadership.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

How can people go from, Thriving, to, Surviving, when facing challenges?

It’s a bit serendipitous.  You have a problem, you find a way to get over it, then something

else happens and you find another way to keep, surviving.  When I came to write, thriving not surviving,  and it was the second book that I’d written around looking at the strategies that I’d used to overcome my personal challenges and going from, surviving, to thriving.  The first book

was called,  Chariots on Fire,  that was  my story and the personal strategies that I used to overcome the difficulty of, surviving,  but between 2009 and 2017, a lot of things changed.

I’ve done a lot of development work on myself and I’d worked with thousands of people and so I had moved my thinking.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

 

Here are the Two areas to focus to start, Thriving, and stop, Surviving.

  1. Beliefs – our beliefs about ourselves become our reality. If you believe you’ll fail, the chances are you won’t even start.  If you believe you’ll might fail, you’re going to make a set of decisions.  If you believe I’m going to succeed,  don’t quite know how but; I’m going to succeed, your beliefs about whether you’re enough or whether you are, too fat, too tall, too short, not rich enough, not educated enough,  too old, too young, those beliefs absolutely determine what sort of quality of life you’re going to have.
  2. The second pathways is relationships. You want to be, thriving, in your relationships. Every relationship we have with other people is a mirror image of the relationship we have with ourselves.  So if you don’t feel that you’re enough,  if you listen to other people’s opinions rather than trusting your own, if you believe that you deserve to be treated badly because you don’t actually love and appreciate yourself, you’re going to put up with people treating you in a very different way, than if you actually have confidence and a good self-esteem.  So the relationships we have with ourselves are incredibly important.

In a past episode Surviving R Kelly: the Mindset of a Predator,

The Lifetime series, Surviving R. Kelly, and the follow up Dateline episode, show a rich and famous R. Kelly feeding his sex machine with women of all ages. His preference seemed to be teenage girls as young as 12 years old; but women in their 30’s had the same experience.  One said that she did unspeakable things in a Black room, was starved, had to ask before she went to the bathroom, was physically abused, and had to call  Art. Kelly,  Daddy.

So in this interview, Nicole and  I  explore the mindset of  predator and how women of all ages can use their intuition to escape the lair of a predator.

These women who were a part of the, surviving R Kelly, documentary, had to learn to be strong minded. Similarly Gina had to learn to push past her flesh and fight to do the things she had always done, like lead a school. One of the victims in the, Surviving R. Kelly, interview, said just that.  She said that, sexual predators, look for the, weak minded woman,.  They usually go for the young, like teenagers because they are, weak minded women,  but if they find you are weak minded as an adult, then you become a victim as well.  She was one of the women in her 30’s who was a victim.  So if you are a, weak minded woman, then you are not using your intuition, instead, you are looking for this person to fill the void in your life, and in, the mindset of a sexual predator, they are more than happy to accommodate.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

If you are interested in your personal and spiritual development, all of Gina’s programs are on her website which is genuinely- you.  You will find all sorts of resources, lots of free stuff and also find her one-on-one coaching program and  enlightened leadership program.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Leadership Coaching – Transform your Mind 

Important Leadership Skills for the workplace  

Why a Healthy Lifestyle is Important to Fight COVID-19

Have a Healthy Lifestyle During covid-19

This week on the Transform your Mind Podcast, Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having a, healthy lifestyle, could help you fight COVID-19 coronavirus and become BFF’s with your body.

What was your journey into becoming  passionate about a, healthy lifestyle.

I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese.  I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle.  That  was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight.  I did what most women do.  I started dieting. I wouldn’t say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet  I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she’s got it going on she’s so fit she’s so healthy. I want her body, I want her, healthy lifestyle.   But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle,  I was an absolute mess inside.

I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, healthy lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn’t eat. I was strategizing with every bite.  It was strategy all the time.  I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle,  I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend, the reason why I don’t have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don’t have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.

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Podbean

It’s very common for women to blame everything on their body,  so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness.  So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she’s an inspiration,  honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising.  Most people they don’t even see it, and they’re broken.  That’s how diet culture works.  Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.

That’s how I was for years.  I didn’t trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions.  I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.

I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom.  It feels very caged.  That’s the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant.  So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you’re ugly and you’re not good enough and you need to try harder.  I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.

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Payments started being sent out mid April. Also follow us on follow us on all social media platforms @Mytaxladymiami

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

 

I think that’s where most women are.  They look at their body as just this thing that’s hanging on them, that’s never right and will never be right, and they’re constantly abusing it.  If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy.  That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change.  learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.

Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I’m not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat.  And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that’s on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.

A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace,  healthy living,  so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

When did your, Healthy Lifestyle, start?

I gained all  kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with  Big Mac.  The whole the whole world globally, we’re looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle,  because what we’re all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, healthy  lifestyle, programs started  before people became conscious of, healthy living.   A, healthy lifestyle, is  being wildly alive!

 I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living.  I’m telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching,  is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.

And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
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When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter.  I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating

all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.

Feminine approach Healthy Lifestyle
Feminine approach Healthy Lifestyle

What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle

This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it’s doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you’ll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you.  She’s always speaking to you.  She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing.  You don’t need a plan, you don’t need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.

We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that’s all it is it’s just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom.  So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good.  It is just like when you get a cut you don’t have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.

Our bodies are so smart that we can’t even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body.  So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you.  She’s here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and  she’s also here to guide you on your life choices.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

 

The feminine approach is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you’re menstruating.  As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon.  There’s four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle.  Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.

For example just to make this really simplified, when you’re bleeding it is the New Moon phase.

When we’re having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we’re not as extroverted.  This is our introverted time.  This is the time when we reflect and restore.  This is our winter time so if you’re ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you’re bleeding doing a high intense workout it’s probably not the best thing for your body.  If you’re on hormonal birth control or you’re not having your period,  just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.

Vice versa the full moon  is your ovulation or summer phase.  You are hyper energized.  There’s lots of growth, there’s lots of expansion, there’s lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.

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Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

Wildly Alive  self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program

Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can’t have those things and you’re a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change.  I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can’t eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something,  that’s a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can’t eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you.  I don’t think that’s enough to really shift into respect based change.  I’m a huge believer in moderation.  I think a little bit of everything is okay.  So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it.  If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.

Reflection 4 Rejection
Reflection 4 Rejection

Here are the mechanics for a,  healthy lifestyle, during covid-19

  • trying keeping the energy light in our house
  • limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
  • have a lot of sunlight.
  • getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
  • Do some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
  • drink a lot of water
  • increasing your vitamin C intake. I’ve been making this lemon ginger juice.
  • stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
  • be grateful for what you have and for your family
Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.

I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color.  She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she’s on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they’re about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing  WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was  Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture.  It’s the epitome of diet culture.  They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.

I still love Oprah, I know she’s human.  I know she’s flawed.  I forgive her.

Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle

You can find all coaching programs at www.wildlyalive.com

I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks.  You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/its-not-about-willpower-how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting/

How Nutritional Supplements Help you Achieve Optimum Health

How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

Author Interview, Transform your mind podcast

Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her, abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question “Is child, abandonment, rejection by the natural mother?”  If so how does this rejection affect the child’s self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.

In her book  “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother’s Abandonment And Abuse.” Traci Thomas shares her story and how she got to the other side.

Here is Traci’s story:

On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it’s such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be.   It nonetheless served such a  great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following.  It’s one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively.  It’s one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand.  When you suffer from, abandonment, you’re in your own community and it’s isolating; but yet you’re so powerful at the same time.

With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment,  and it is a challenge, it’s a lot to muddle through.  However, once you get through it, and you’re on the other side, there’s nothing you can’t do.  So in my situation, it’s like a head of bipartisan.  I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time.  I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old.  That’s when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968.  I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States.  Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement.  That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.

I do remember one particular time my, mother,  did quote, unquote kidnap me.  She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she’s so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me.  She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that’s okay and that’s what I explained in the book.  It’s perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is.  It’s a supernatural definition.  I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what’s going on.  What’s happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you.  It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.

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What does, Abandonment Issues, Mean?

Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.

  • Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
  • Abandonment issues, may stem from  physical (the parent is not present in the child’s life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
  • Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance.  Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.

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I want to comment on something you said that’s a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water.  Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don’t think they’re good enough.

When you feel, abandoned, it’s not your imagination.  When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It’s this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you’re a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can’t wait to get you off the phone.  When you’re in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.

Podcast interview Questions: Reflection, 4, Rejection

What was your Objective in writing “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother’s , Abandonment, And Abuse.?

On, reflection, once you’ve been in a situation where you’ve made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips,  anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive.  It’s toxic, and it’s unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards.  You literally feel as if you’ve been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.

You’re in tears and you’re shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you’ve got to kiss every behind in the universe.  You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. That’s why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That’s why I engineered and composed the book.

My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn’t want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.

Power is something you take, nobody gives you power.  You snatch power.

So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing,  is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned,  in hindsight. Let’s  really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second.  If you really do this it’s not hard at all, you won’t have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins.   Kissing this one’s tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother,  love you, trying to buy this person,  begging for love, please love me, please like me.  You don’t have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It’s not necessary. I’m trying to save somebody 50 years.

Reflection 4 Rejection
Reflection 4 Rejection

Abandonment, from Relationships

Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected,  period?  I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned,  are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents.  Men can reject you, your friends can reject you,  jobs can fire you.  Is this information transferable?

I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a  child and a natural, mother.  This ironically is not, rejection,  and if you read the book you’ll totally comprehend what I’m speaking about.  The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you.  The natural, mother, doesn’t even know you.  How can somebody reject you when they don’t even know you?  That makes absolutely no sense.

I’ve seen that the trauma that it is caused in young  lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it’s kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.  If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side.  That’s good, I like that spin.

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What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?

I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.

What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?

It would be in their best interest even if they don’t get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book.  It’s their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not.  I mean that’s their choice; but with that being said.

Don’t ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth.  Don’t do that. Don’t ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.

I know you talked about your natural mother not  really rejecting you because she didn’t know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating.  He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling.  So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.

I’m not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass.  I can’t really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers,  who have gone through the same episode and they didn’t react that way.

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Are You Angry at your mom for her Abuse and, Abandonment?

  • One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach.  At those times were you ever angry?

What’s so interesting is that I got angry at the end.  Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what’s so flabbergasting to me is  that I didn’t get angry and livid until the very end.  I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at me for participating.  I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration,  the hurt, the pain, the disappointment,  the monotony, and the redundancy.

Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you’re at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you’re free.

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How did you handle Rejection and Reflection?

When you read the book  you’ll completely understand what’s going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your, mother, didn’t reject you, she can’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.

Yes, I understand what you’re saying.  After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side,  you feel empowered like you can walk on water.  Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.

Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children  in many ways.

Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

https://blog.myhelps.us/confidence/

Childhood trauma, #8

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.

https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.

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Additional Resources 

Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child’s needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-uninvolved-parenting-2794958

Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.

https://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/abuse-and-neglect-to-children-in-a-divorce-261.shtml

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Coronavirus Update

As we record this episode the world is in a panic regarding the, Coronavirus, also called the, COVID-19

  • The US death toll for the, corona virus, has climbed to more than 278
  • COVID-19, cases in the US have surpassed 22,000+  and there are more than 298,000+ cases  worldwide, 12,755+ deaths. 
  • Confirmed cases of the novel, coronavirus, have topped 200,000 worldwide
  • Federal reserve cuts interest rates to nearly zero
  • Italy reported 368 new, coronavirus, related deaths on March 15, a 25% rise
  • Many US retailers have cut hours or closed in the face of the, coronavirus
  • Spain reported that deaths from the, coronavirus, have more than doubled in a day to 288 with infections near 8,000
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My guest today is Dr Joe Nieusma is the fearless CEO/Chief Toxicologist at Superior Toxicology & Wellness, an international scientific consulting firm that he founded.

How did you learn about the behavior of, viruses?

I’ve been in toxicology for 30 plus years and my specialty is exposures scenarios that the human body must endure. Exposure is the broad brush.  That could be chemical exposure, that could be pharmaceutical exposure, that could be exposure to, electromagnetic radiation, that could be 5G, that could be biological exposure or microbial exposure; so the fact that I’ve specialized in exposure of the human body, that’s where my expertise comes in.  Exposure to the biologicals, viruses to specifically the, coronavirus.

  • I opened my own practice and company called, Superior Toxicology and Wellness, providing services helping with the pharmaceutical industry and in chemical exposures. Basically taking care of people, giving them a full toxicological report.
  • The human body has a set amount of defense systems and exposure to the, coronavirus, in particular that’s where the damage starts kicking in.

Before we get into our discussion of the, coronavirus, let’s talk about viruses like the, common cold, SARS, Influenza virus, Mers, AIDS virus, Herpes virus etc.

  • The, common cold, is a virus actually in a classification called, rhinoviruses, which is actually a sub classification of the, coronavirus, family so they’re all related.
  • Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a viral respiratory illness started in  … Europe, and Asia before the SARS global outbreak of 2003 was contained.
  • Influenza Virus, commonly known as “the flu“, is an infectious disease caused by an influenza virus. Symptoms can be mild to severe. The most common symptoms include: high fever, runny nose, sore throat, muscle and joint pain, headache, coughing, and feeling tired.
  • Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) is viral respiratory illness that is new to humans. It was first reported in Saudi Arabia in 2012 and has since spread to other countries.
  • Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) is a chronic, potentially life-threatening condition caused by the human immunodeficiency virus(HIV). By damaging your immune system, HIV interferes with your body’s ability to fight infection and disease.
  • The herpes simplex virus, also known as HSV, is an infection that causes herpesHerpes can appear in various parts of the body, most commonly on the genitals or mouth. There are two types of the herpes simplex virus.

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All these viruses consists of a protein coat, the technical scientific word for it is a capsid and this protein coat protects the genetic material which is inside the virus.  The two basic types of virus you have are DNA viruses and RNA viruses.  They have genetic material and they have a protein coat that consists of multiple proteins and this is collectively known as a, viral particle, so that, viral particles, need some sort of a pathway to attach to a host and get into a host cell.  The, coronavirus,  is specifically designed for two things:

  • it’s designed to get into that host cell
  • and it’s designed to avoid getting eliminated.

So the way that happens is that it has an interaction through a specific receptor and with the, coronavirus, that receptor is the 8/2 receptor – stands for angiotensin converting enzyme. That is the gateway for the, coronavirus, to attach to the host cell and get all of the genetic material into that host cell.

The, coronavirus on its own can’t replicate it needs to be in conjunction with the host cell and what the, coronavirus,  does is what all viruses do.  It hijacks the host replicating machinery to make copy after copy of the viral genetic code, so then when that host cell is so loaded with, viral particles,  it virtually bores open and sends new viruses all over the body.

  • The virus that hijacks the cells and uses it to replicate will kill that cell when that starts to happen the body mounts a defense against those, viruses so it’s a battle between how fast can the virus replicate or how fast can the body take out the virus that’s trying to overpower the defense mechanisms of the body the defense mechanism of the body.
  • This is called your, immune system. The, immune system, is the super complex organ system in your body that never gets enough credit, the, immune system, in the human body has the power to ruin your life and it does that when it gets out of whack and starts attacking yourself. This is called autoimmune disease, so it is a  delicate balance of keeping your immune system in check but still powerful enough to battle against viruses.
  • That balance that is generically called, wellness, so you can begin to see how everything is

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When the, virus, is winning over the, immune system,  that’s when you start to see symptoms of the viral illness. The body gets sick and the illness progresses.  The body is spending all kinds of resources to try to fight the viral load the viral replication and it’s also now trying to manage the symptoms of that illness.

The way you intercede pharmacologically that means fancy big words are saying how do you use drugs to attack the, viruses, well you need an antiviral drug or vaccine and usually those types of drugs target those proteins that are in that protein coat that’s around the genetic material or they try to halt the viral replication in the cell.

  • We sacrifice the one cell to stop the viral replication and if we’re going after the protein coat that’s usually the targets of, vaccines,
  • It’s difficult to make a vaccine that’s why there’s no cure for the, common cold, because those proteins in that coat are continually and rapidly mutating. You have to have something stable to develop a vaccine to fight that viral infection and if the mutation rate is too fast there’s not a target that’s around long enough to design that vaccine against.

How does the, Influenza virus, vaccine work?

The way to describe this is let’s say you have a bucket of, flu viruses,  and there’s a hundred different kinds in there.  The look at historic data about emergence of these different viruses historically over time and they’re trying to predict the best case scenario for which, flu virus,  is going to break out and run through the human population in any given year. So what they do is they take the top three that will most likely to break out, flu viruses, and they formulate that season vaccine to those three viruses.  There’s no guarantee that they’re getting it right.  There’s no guarantee that it’s going to be effective and it’s always going to be a best-guess scenario.  It’s still a good idea to get a flu shot because more times than not, one of those flu viruses that they have in that mixture is going to the one.

Why does the, coronavirus, affect the elderly population?

I’m understanding why the people who are dying from the, coronavirus,  so far are the elderly or are sick people who have compromised, immune systems,  because the, immune system,  can’t fight the, coronavirus, as fast as their bodies are making these duplicates.

What they’ve seen in the population statistics are the people at the greatest risk are the people that are 70 years old or older or those that have pre-existing medical conditions,  respiratory effects, cardiac effects.  Those  folks with those types of medical problems are particularly at risk and those are the ones that should absolutely adhere to every one of the guidelines being put out.  Stay away from crowds, keep your hands washed, do not touch any common surfaces where this infection could be because they have the least amount of capacity to fight and survive this particular viral infection.

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What makes the, coronavirus so infectious?

If I had to answer that with  one word that word would be, infectivity.

Basically the difference between the, coronavirus, COVID-19, this year’s poster child for pandemic is  the  amount of people that got this infection and how easily it spreads from person to person to person.

This is the key that sets it apart from other, viruses, like, common cold, SARS, Influenza virus, Mers, AIDS virus, Herpes virus, Ebola virus,  etc.

The infectivity rate of the, coronavirus,  COVID-19 is much greater and much more aggressive than viruses, that have been available in the past or attacked  humans in the past.  So in one word it would be its infectious nature.  That’s what sets the, coronavirus, apart; but the reason that is  because of the gateway that, coronavirus, gets into the host cells it’s the ace 2 receptors.  (Angiotensin converting enzyme 2.)

  • Humans have these receptors on your heart, on your lungs, on your kidney, on your liver, on all of your blood vessels, and in a high propensity in your oral cavity, your mouth, your tongue, your cheek, your throat, your airways; so whenever there is any viral particles, let’s say somebody that gets less than 6 feet away from you sneezes and you can feel the droplets on your face well you also have those receptors in your mouth, and your throat ,and all of those droplets if that person is infected is just chock-full of, coronavirus, and those viruses bind to those receptors in and around wherever they can get in your body and then start that process of replicating.
  • Smokers have a higher level of the ACE2 receptors, so they are more susceptible to the, coronavirus.
  • The virus invokes an inflammation response, so what happens is the virus gets in and it triggers your, immune system, your, immune system,  calls for the cavalry and the cavalry consists your t-cells that’s your b-cells and all of your other leukocytes, your white blood cells, come rushing to wherever this space is that this attack is going on and the your body is mounting a mass inflammation response to try to kill whatever is there in this case it’s the, corona virus.
  • The problem is the things that go awry is that when your, immune system, gets completely overzealous and calls in everything it has to launch an inflammation reaction that’s bigger than it needs, it loses the braking mechanism if you will and what you have is called a cytokine storm. That cytokine storm produces such an inflammation reaction that it runs through your cellular protective mechanisms.  Your lungs get flooded and your organs start to shut down.

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You can get multiple organ failure over a very short period of time.  If the person is going into cytokine storm because of the, coronavirus, infection, it’s a very bleak picture.  It’s very painful and the people have to have very intense resource intensive medical care if they’re going to have a chance to survive.

The, coronavirus, can be symptom-free up to 14 days and I’ve seen some evidence that suggests it could be 24 to 28 days without symptoms.  What’s going on at that time is there’s a fight raging in your body between the, coronavirus, and the, immune system,  if the, immune system, wins then that person never shows symptoms; but is still was infected and give it to other people.

The other thing which you hear repeatedly in the media, is that you have to  be careful because this, coronavirus, can live on surfaces for up to nine days. Think about this as you grab the grocery cart handle and the gas pump, then after touching those services how many times do you scratch your nose or touch your eye.

 

How to Protect yourself against the Coronavirus?

  • You have to protect yourself against infection the best defense is avoiding infection in the first place.
  • That’s barrier protection that’s avoiding the crowds
  • That’s keeping your common areas clean
  • That’s washing after you touch common areas
  • It’s just not doing anything stupid
  • Make sure you’re in top physical condition
  • you know I mean just make sure
  • Make sure you’re hydrated
  • Make sure that you’re getting enough sleep
  • Make sure that you’re eating a good diet not a bunch of processed food
  • Eat a diet of half or mostly plants and you’re going to be okay
  • Practice Wellness

I was listening to Dr. Deepak Chopra give advice on the, coronavirus,  and he talked about having a healthy lifestyle that included, meditation, exercise, and  nutrition.

What is your wellness program to prevent the, Coronavirus?

  • Meditation is tremendous, it’s the power of the mind. You absolutely have to have a positive outlook and you have to be thinking about how you want things to be, not how you dread things could be.
  • Exercise the promotes a healthy body, it helps you to eliminate toxins and gives your body an avenue to eliminate things. Exercise increases your body temperature and it produces the sweat and it increases the circulation to the lymph system, which is your garbage disposal in the body.  Which helps to eliminate toxins.  Exercise gives you the sense of well-being.  I try to do something active every day.
  • Nutrition like I said right before eat half and mostly plants and you’re going to be okay. There’s actually some new research out there that shows after going 90 days on a vegan diet that you change the transcription of 500 different genes in your body, some of them for promoting wellness and others for preventing disease.  It just unlocks your body’s ability to engage with the consciousness of the universe.

One product that I have found that builds up your, immune system, and I’ve written a paper for non-scientific people is called C60 complete from livelongerlabs.com.

Its carbon 60, which is the world’s most efficient antioxidant.  Having carbon 60 on board can help to stop that cytokine storm that happens when you’re when your inflammation response goes haywire and the other two ingredients in C60 complete are black seed oil and curcumin. Those two are very powerful natural products that have been around for centuries in the herbal medicine circles.

The other programs that I like are on my website Superior Toxicology and Wellness.  Click on the HOPE button, HOPE stands for, Health Optimization Prescription Evaluation.  Those folks who are on multiple drug products and think they have no way out of that polypharmacy because one doctor put them on one thing and the next doctor put them on the next thing and the third doctor put them on something else and none of those doctors took the time to look at what they were already on,  I’ll do that for you.  I’ll be that pharmaceutical advocate and give you the questions that you can ask your doctors to say.  Do I really need to be on these drugs or why am I on these drugs. Because if you can eliminate the drugs and give your body what it needs to function optimally, you’re going to give yourself the best case scenario to fight off these pandemics.

This year it’s, coronavirus, before it was, SARS,  before it was, Ebola virus, it’s always something killing humanity about every two years.

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If you like the content of the show then all I ask you to do is Rate and review on iTunes, so that more people can hear and listen. Also please share this episode with your friends this is one of the episodes that you’re going to want to definitely share,  really really good information here.

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Additional Resources, coronovirus

Novel coronavirus, is among the family of, coronaviruses, that cause illnesses that range from the common cold to Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS). Until last year, the new strain had never before been seen in humans.

Symptoms of the infection include serious respiratory illness often with additional fever, cough, and difficulty breathing. Currently there is no cure nor a vaccine for the infections, so physicians treat patients based on their symptoms. Some patients come down with a bad case of pneumonia or kidney failure. Gastrointestinal problems, like diarrhea, have also been reported.

People who already have underlying health conditions may be more susceptible to the infection, and their symptoms may be different from  the majority of cases — for example, they may not experience respiratory problems.

Novel Coronavirus: 5 Things To Know About the SARS-Like Infection

8 Secrets to Sexy Total Health

Understanding How to Use Reiki Energy for Mind and Body

How Nutritional Supplements Help you Achieve Optimum Health

https://www.quora.com/q/coronavirus?__ni__=0&__tiids__=5991642

 

 

What are the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?


 

We most often associate, ADHD, with children; but statistics show that 60% of childhood, ADHD, transforms to, adult ADHD.

We as have seen or been parents to the child who never stops or sits down.

In addition to never sitting down they are also:

Symptoms of Childhood, ADHD

  • Are impulsive
  • Have trouble focusing
  • Have trouble managing their emotions
  • Have difficulty remembering information
  • Don’t start tasks (or don’t finish them)

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So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?  Here is one woman’s story

I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD.  One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.

I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.

The two inattentive men,  naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.

Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.

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I’m curious about, Adult ADHD. Does kids with, ADHD,  become adults with, adult ADHD?

For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD.  Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD,  is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in  childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit.  Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.

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Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?

Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.

What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?

When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use.  It gives you  clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed.  There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.

  1. Inattention
  2. Impulse Control
  3. Hyperactivity

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We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium.  Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.

ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.

Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?

 

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.

  • Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
  • Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
  • Basal Ganglia. …
  • Reticular Activating System.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.

The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement.  The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system.  It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.

ADHD in women
ADHD in women

Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?

No, not at all.  I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass.  I would love to see his research.

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Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?

Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals.  I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.

if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.

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TuneIn Radio

Does internet pornography rewire men’s brain to have, Adult ADHD?

I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD.  He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.

https://wellnessforce.com/dr-john-gray-adhd-brain-health-sex-addiction/

Download to listen to the full episode

 

Shocking Facts About ADHD

  • One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
  • One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
  • Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness

Additional Resources Adult ADHD

https://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-mental-illness-my-bipolar-life/

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

https://www.verywellmind.com/add-and-attention-deficit-disorders-2161810#:~:text=Attention%20deficit%20disorder%20(ADD)%20is,completing%20tasks%20and%20social%20interaction.

 

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

Your Life Theme and, personalities,  shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes compose your identity.

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman.  He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill.   That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, personality, controls  our communication.

Personality types
Personality types

 

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are.  That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions.  Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.

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How does objects that we surround ourselves with express our identity and, Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale.  That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun.  I want to appease the, personalities,  so when I  walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down.  I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

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https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sunshine.makilite

 

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How does Objects identity our, personality?

Our, personality, as our way of expression.  Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization.  The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True,  but  I  look at what do you like to do for fun?  What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?”  I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are.

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The Problem is many of us have made mistakes or just run into circumstances beyond our control dealing with credit. The good news is that SecondCreditProfile.com can help you legally establish a new personal or business credit profile. This is the biggest secret that credit agencies don’t want you to know about. I encourage you to check out SecondCreditProfile.com for more information.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality,  framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or  “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

Personality Myers Briggs
Personality Myers Briggs

The Myers-Briggs, Personality, Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
  • Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
  • Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
  • Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs,  theory of, personality types,  people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?

Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.

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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personality types, are described here:

  • The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
  • The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
  • The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
  • The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
Personality INEJ
Personality INEJ

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Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

The Secret to Living the Life of your Dreams

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

 

How to Heal After being Abandoned

Being, abandoned, by  a loved one cuts deeply in the heart resulting in emotional, abandonment.  It is the result of a significant person discarding you, dismissing you, devaluing you, or not acknowledging you. This type of invisible injury causes great harm to the recipient.  In fact, the term “recipient” is ironic because often the recipient receives nothing; which is the problem.

Abandoned by Love
Abandoned by Love

Regardless if you are, abandoned by your parents, a lover, a friend, a sibling. The feeling of, not being enough, overwhelms those who are, abandoned. No one sees it and it tends to go underground in terms of abuse. Victims simply feel empty and invisible.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here are the top 3 reasons for feeling, Abandoned:

  • Devalued and rejected by others
  • Abandoned, by our parents
  • Feelings of, not good enough,  because we have lack.

When the, abandonment, wound is caused by an absent parent. When one of your parents has chosen to not be in your life, this cuts deeply. There is no easy explanation to be found by those who’ve been abandoned by a parent. Some try to make the best of the situation, ignoring that fact that they don’t have this parent in their lives; but the damage is still the same.  There are life-long consequences to parental abandonment.

Children in the foster care system that have been, abandoned, by their parents never regain their self-esteem. They look are other kids who have their parents and feel worthless. They end up most time becoming promiscuous because they look for love in all the wrong places.

Some learn to cope in different ways. Some pretend it doesn’t matter; some question their worth; others may be openly angry.  With, abandonment, comes defense mechanisms.

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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?

Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

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Abandoned, by Love

Most women who were, abandoned, end up in unhealthy relationship with narcissistic men who abuse them and, abandon, them again.  This pattern is repeated often.

Women who have been, abandoned, could be likened to a cracked vase. If you have been broken from, abandonment, then you can’t hold love, you can’t hold self-esteem, you can’t hold purpose, everything pours out of you.

It takes work to heal your cracks.  The first step in is to identify that you are broken from, abandonment.

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Download on Spotify

Identifying your, Abandonment, Feelings

Once you have identified your, abandonment, issue and have processed through some of the feelings there are some other imagery exercises you can to do heal yourself. These are described below:

  1. Identify the part of you that is hurt.This can be labeled as your, “hurt inner child.” If the source of your hurt occurred in adulthood, this does not matter because the wound of, abandonment, most likely put you in a regressive state of mind.  You have likely regressed emotionally to a younger, more helpless age. Use imagery and visualize this inner child.
  2. Now imagine the part of you that is healthy and compassionate.This part of you is going to be instrumental in your healing from being, abandoned. You must come to the rescue of your inner, hurt self by offering love, time, empathy, hope, and encouragement.
  3. In addition to the hurt, abandoned, part of yourself, identify your coping mechanisms – particularly any personas or sub-selves that act out; the part of you that is trying to compensate for the hurt experienced by the abandonment of your loved one. Identify parts of you that are trying to respond to the hurt in an unhealthy manner.
  4. Talk to your inner hurt, abandoned, child.Assure her of her value and worth. Be present for her in a real and tangible way.
abandonment hurts
abandonment hurts

In the end, no matter who has hurt you, no matter how affected you may be from the resulting injury from, abandonment, you still have a life to live. Even if you have an ache in your heart for the missing person, you can still thrive in life; find hope and love, and live well. You do this by honoring your feelings, acknowledging the loss, validating the consequences of the loss, and enjoying your life.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How the, Abandonment,  wound plays out in relationships:

  • Oversensitivity to criticism or feedback
  • Overreacting to conflict
  • Becoming a pleaser
  • Anxiety and fear of the other person leaving
  • Ending relationships early before the other person has a chance to leave
  • Jealousy or suspicion that your partner will hurt, cheat, or leave even when there’s no sign of malicious behavior
  • Self-doubt, insecurity, and lack of self-worth
  • Staying in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone
  • In more extreme cases of being deeply triggered during events such as break-ups, a divorce, or a loss:one might feel a total loss of control over their emotions, hyper-reactivity, anxiety attacks, fear, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and obsessive thoughts or behavior.

An, abandonment, wound is invisible to the eye, but it leaves telltale signs in how we relate to the external world, how we feel internally and how we behave in our relationships. It can have us spend our whole lives running from perceived danger. To test someone’s love like a straw that inevitably breaks, then using their resignation as evidence we’re living in an unsafe world. It can cause us to blindly accept the bad behavior of others, ignoring our own needs and prevent us from having a strong, powerful voice.

Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now, and this is find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose. The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan to go after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources Abandonment

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-the-effects-of-childhood-trauma-4147640

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201706/4-ways-childhood-trauma-impacts-adults

 

 

8 Secrets to Sexy Total Health

Sexy, total health, is not about how you look on the outside but on the inside. When you become conscious of these secrets, you embody, total health care.

When you become conscious of nature, mental health, presence and spirituality you have, sexy total health.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind radio and podcast, Host Myrna Young, Life Coach, interviews UDO ERASMUS, founder of Udo’s Choice, author of the book Fats and Oils: The Complete Guide to Fats and Oils in Health and Nutrition and Total Sexy Health. Udo shares his 8 secrets to Sexy, Total Health.

Udo: I can remember the fear the anxiety I had as a child growing up during the second world war in Europe,  Sometimes you will hear me say that I was born in hell; and with a lot of help from visible and invisible friends, walked a long crooked path from there to heaven. I became a good reader of adventure stories, to escape hell even in the mind.  

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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?
Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?
Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search  Productive on Purpose”on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose.

Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

As I grew older, along the way, I tried out many things and learned a lot. Every trade and job, every movement or breath and every step led me to the next turn on the path to find new, different and out-of-the-box possibilities.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

I discovered that just like you  take time to go to the bathroom,  or time for breakfast everyday, you should take time to create awareness.  Go back inside to the core of your being, to the magnificence of your soul. 

You are not your body, you are the owner of the of your body. 

That is why I created Sexy, Total Health.

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

 My question to you is,  how much time do you spend with the owner of your body to create, total health? 

Myrna: Interestingly, I was listening to Dr Deepak Chopra on  Facebook live this morning and he was teaching about communing with nature and  negative ions from plants and trees. I started touching shrubs as I passed them in the park on my morning walk. I am seeking sexy, total health, myself. 

Udo: After searching for purpose for several years, I took a job as a pesticide sprayer and ended up with pesticide poisoning. Trying to cure myself, I started studying oils and fats. Frying your foods in oil  is associated with all kinds of problems including diabetes, inflammatory diseases like arthritis, and also with cardiovascular problems. So I developed a method for making them under protection from oxygen and heat. Oils are the most sensitive and therefore most easily damaged of the essential nutrients. Light, oxygen in the air, and high temperature damage them, and then they damage your body.

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Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.

Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Did you get enough of the omega-3 or  Flaxseed oil in your diet? 99% of the population don’t get enough omega-3 needed for, total health care,  

Total health, is more than just using the right oils,  actually everything affects your, total health. For example your politics affect your, total health. if there’s something going on that isn’t  right with the heart or right with, total health care,  then it stresses you out.  

How active you are affect your sexy, total health,  the water you drink affect your, total health,  but we focus mostly on on the interaction with the world. Our kids, our employer, the religious system, or the educational system, or the political system.  Our awareness does not go inside.

sexy total health
Sexy Total Health

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Here are the 8 Secrets of Sexy, Total Health

  1. Digestion – EXCESS CARBOHYDRATES TURN OFF YOUR FAT BURNING GENES. Since excess carbohydrates (eating more of them than your body burns) can cause many health problems, it is only logical, practical and important that your body makes sure that you burn carbohydrates first.
  2. Nutrition – Fats and oils come in two completely contradictory forms. There are fats/oils that heal, and there are fats/oils that kill. The truth is that to make good choices for better health, you have to know which is which, and then choose the fats/oils that heal. More physical health problems come from bad (damaged) oils than from any other part of nutrition. Knowing how to use oils is essential to sexy, total health. 
  3. Mental health – Becoming aware of being aware, you discover both the calm stillness that is awareness’ nature, and everything else that unfolds in that stillness. Real, true, personal peace and mental health has its roots in the core of your existence beyond your senses. With that awareness, you can solve the challenges and conflicts within you and surrounding you. Mental health is essential to, total health.
  4. Presence – Presence underpins your essence and being. Your emptiness is not empty. It’s filled with your undiscovered magnificence and the precursor to sexy, total health.  Don’t get stuck in the words. Words only point at essence; they are not essence. Let them float in the space of your being, and become aware of that space in you.
  5. Consciousness – Consciousness is the field physicists call God.  Consciousness is everywhere. It is omnipresent, in charge of everything going on in the entire universe.
  6. Emotional awareness – Lack of awareness of your internal foundation begins your problems. Awareness of that internal foundation makes practical solutions to your problems available and accessible. Aware and focused in stillness, you find insights and knowledge. Stillness is the only known reliable practice for deepening insights. They are your best source of power, wisdom and manifestation. Live your life focused. Be focused in the present, which contains all that exists. Nothing is more powerful than the present moment.
  7. Natural living – clean water, clean food, clean air and being in nature
  8. Sleep –  is Life Energy it inspires creativity  and necessary for sexy, total health. 

Download your FREE copy of  Total Sexy Health Here:

https://www.totalhealthmembership.com/a/18255/VjRWdLPs

Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.

The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walk-through of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources

Using Muse Guided Meditations to Reduce Stress

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

How Nutritional Supplements Help you Achieve Optimum Health

https://www.muscleandstrength.com/articles/sexy-health-equals-healthy-sex.html

5 Reasons feeling sexy is important for your health