How To Ditch the Good Girl Label

Ditching the good girl label

The, good girl, label is not about being morally good, the problem with being a, good girl, is that at the end of the day, it doesn't work. It doesn't work for anyone.  This isn't an anti-morality conversation; it's correcting our idea of what’s good and what’s right.

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Sitting in the guest chair today on the Transform Your Mind Podcast, is Kasia Urbaniak. Kasia is the author ofUnbound: A woman's Guide to Power”. Today, we are going to be talking about “How to ditch the, good girl label”.

Bio

Since founding The Academy in 2013, Kasia has taught over 4000 women to radically increase their power, agency and influence. Using practical tools, Academy graduates transform their lives by breaking the yoke of ‘Good Girl’ conditioning. They step boldly into leadership roles within their relationships, families, workplaces, and wider communities.

They become adept in the art of verbal self-defense against bulldozing, bullying, and gaslighting. They make bold, life-changing asks of the people around them in a way that feels good to the person being asked. They can hear “no” without getting flustered or giving up, and use resistance as a way to build intimacy and partnership.

Introduction

Myrna: Kasia, let's start off by asking you what was your journey into founding the Academy, teaching women the foundations of power and influence? I read part of your bio that you were once a, dominatrix, I would love to hear about that.

Kasia: I found myself with an unusual set of training I explored various spiritual traditions and wanted to transcend this world. The one that spoke to me because it seemed the most practical and magical was, Taoism.

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I was a Dominatrix while pursuing monastic education

Now, while I was pursuing my training and pursuing monastic education, the ironic part was there was no way for me as a girl growing up in New York City to be able to afford such things without getting a job that would pay me a lot of money in short bursts. So, I was working as a professional, dominatrix, in dungeons in New York City and then flying off to meet with teachers to convince them to teach me all the way up to mountain tops in China.

This lasted for the greater part of a decade. This straddling, absolutely insane split personality education, where I felt guilty about one when I was doing the other.  What started happening was these extremes ended up merging when I started diagnosing people's bodies as a, Taoist, trainee.  I started going into deeper states of meditation and noticed that my training as a, dominatrix, allows me to notice the power dynamics , I started seeing similarities in my work as a, dominatrix.

I was paying attention to human beings and started to understand power dynamics the way you study martial arts.  I began to teach this power to women,   I do not teach as a, dominatrix, and I do not teach as a nun.

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After this wildlife of extremes, of desiring absolute purity and devotion while going into these wildly psychologically strange, weird and interesting places with other humans, I started noticing that I was changing. I saw all my friends around me and all the people in my life (the women especially), living in a world of assumptions and superstitions.

Women are communicating with their bodies all the time

I started noticing that women didn't realize that they are physically broadcasting and communicating all the time. That their power magnetic. You could say more submissive, but it's not submissive at all

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The, good girl, label is not about being morally good, the problem with being a, good girl, is that at the end of the day, it doesn't work. It doesn't work for anyone.  This isn't an anti-morality conversation; it's correcting our idea of what’s good and what’s right.

Myrna: You had a lot of nuggets and you're very right. When your publicist approached me and she started off with the, dominatrix, thing, I pushed back right away until I read the full bio.  I understood what you were trying to say. You're giving women the power of choice.  Women can still be submissive and powerful, right?

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Are you a People-Pleaser or a good girl

Also, I know that being a people-pleaser and being a, good girl, doesn't get you anywhere, people walk all over you. We've got a saying in my country  if you lay down like a doormat, people are going to walk all over you”. So, I understand you help women break the yolk of the, good girl, conditioning. So, tell us why specifically the label of a, bad girl, is beneficial because I’m interested in hearing your spin.

Kasia:  Good girl, conditioning has a very long history and it comes from the agreement that we make not as spiritual and personal agreement, but an economic agreement of marriage. We have a deal and there's nothing wrong with even holding that deal today, but the deal is “I will let you lead, but you provide for meSo, up until very recently, a woman who had ambition, opinion, a vision and desires couldn't express it as an individual. The best she could do and the best way she could fulfill her ambitions was to marry. The behaviors around the, good girl, are the behaviors we're calling, good girl, conditioning.

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What is good girl conditioning

Such behaviors are basically the behaviors of how to be marriageable, how to attract and keep a good man, how to qualify to marry the most economically promising man – given that you can't have a job, you can't get educated, you can't read, and you're not allowed to leave the house (in some countries).

So, women learn I don’t want to be a burden.

  • How to be resourceful because if you're the economic provider, then I have to be able to make big things out of little things (be resourceful),
  • Be moderate in temperament,
  • Not be too attractive so as to not get competition, but not to be noticeably unattractive, not to stand out in this way or that way,
  • Women are not to have too much sexual desire, in fact not to have too much desire at all.

Actually, it's not just being accommodating, harmonious and warm, but also not having a voice essentially, they're from women who are like I‘m not a, good girl, I don't need anyone,  I‘m fine.

The modern day, people-pleaser, is an outgrowth of the, good girl. Why we call her an outgrowth like a sister of the, good girl, but she's still the same woman because even though she believes that she can have her desires, she has to go for what she wants by herself. She never asks anybody for help, she never burdens anybody, she does it all. She is the feminine and the masculine. She is the alpha female

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Most of the women who come to my school are like this because, they're very successful. They have families, they have careers and they have everything they want and they are exhausted and are furious; they have to do it all.

Myrna: it's like the superwoman syndrome.

Good Girls learn to say No

Kasia: The problem is that men hold all the cards. Women don't have the same experience as men because, men don't do it all the same way.  When they are in positions of leadership or have a career, they have support that the women in their same place do not have.

The issue with, good girl, conditioning is you can say “I‘m an, independent woman, I push back and I stand up for myself.  I have learnt how to say No. You can identify with someone who doesn't have, good girl conditioning, but the truth is the conditioning comes out so quickly that we barely catch it.  

We're programmed and it's in our subconscious and that is why I founded the Academy with my partner Reuben.  

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Bad girls learn to ask for what they want

Myrna: Why do you say specifically that the, bad girl, label  is good? How do you transform them from being a, good girl, to a, bad girl? What does, bad girl, really mean?

Kasia: Okay. We got three things, bad girl, is the first. The first of the three and the other two are really important elements of the, bad girl. So, the first is a really simple exercise and I want to set up the context of this exercise. Bad girls learn to ask for what they want. 

I have the women that I work with this exercise which ends up being more difficult than it sounds. The intention is to write  all the things you feel make you a, bad girl,  onto paper.  What we want to do is start opening Pandora’s Box in the safest way possible.

We start with a sentence completion, its part of a sentence you fill in the blank and you repeat it, You write “if I were a, bad girl. I would do ,,,,,,,,,,,”

We use, bad girl, specifically because it brings you back to that younger age where you start learning what you're supposed to like,  not like,  what you're supposed to think etc. 

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Clear out the bad girl closet

The purpose of writing all these terrible things is that, the things we didn't even know we put in the, bad girl, closet start coming out. When I explain part two and three, it's going to become even more apparent how this works so you start opening the, bad girl, closet.

Myrna: I‘m sure a lot of it is around sex and what, bad girls, do and what, good girls, do not do.

Kasia: Some have ideas and desires of sexual liberation and some have ideas of standing up for themselves.  Some feel that anger is bad, that, good girls, do not get angry.  Good girls,  is part of the submissive conditioning or why, good girls, don’t get angry.

The, good girl conditioning, doesn’t even let you become aware that your man is disrespecting you when he calls you names. Maybe he just treats you like a maid and then one day you wake up and start thinking; this is disrespect.

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 What is bulldozing in a relationship?

When you tell The Bulldozer, explicitly or implicitly, to back off, they come on even stronger. When you tell The Bulldozer your needs, they will do exactly the opposite. That's why they're called The Bulldozer. Because they trample all over your boundaries.

How good girls get respect

Kasia: If you want respect, you never ever say I want you to respect me! That's communicating there's something wrong with you

The moment you are voicing a complaint, you are creating an atmosphere of defense. We don't want to be in defense mode, we obviously want to be in offense, mode. 

Myrna: So, how does someone do it, how do we state our desires in offensive mode?

Kasia: The moment you ask them to do something specific, the power dynamic has changed. The issue with women is that their energy is too inward: 

  • I‘m hurting,
  • I'm complaining,
  • I don't like this,
  • This is a problem,
  • Look what you're doing to me,
  • I am the victim,
  • I have no power,
  • You have to fix it,
  • It's all your fault,
  • You don't respect me etc.

The moment you start directing their actions, making those requests that would resonate with you as respect, you are in the dominant position.  The moment you start making them in control of your happiness and telling them they're doing a bad job, you are in defense mode. 

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Is there such a thing as a High Maintenance Woman

Myrna: I heard this a lot that men say, “Oh, she's too, high maintenance, but you're also saying there's no such thing  as a, low maintenance, woman just  women who are not bold enough to ask for what they want.

Kasia: So, high maintenance, is a fad. No woman is, low maintenance, but when men complain about women being, high maintenance, what they're actually saying is not you are too much work.  What they're saying is I never got the instruction manual on how to treat you as a woman.

Men  just got used to ignoring and tolerating the complaints of women, because they never really understood what makes them happy. Women weren't asking for the things that would actually light them up, give them orgasms, make them feel supported and empowered. What men got was a bunch of vague things.

You find a man who's getting specific instructions for the first time; he's like a little boy in a candy store like yes, what can I do next? He feels competent and takes care of his women like he takes care of his car!

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A woman's guide to power

Unbound: A Woman's guide to power
Unbound: A Woman's guide to power

Myrna: Tell us about your book, it's called Unbound: A Woman's Guide to Power.

Kasia: The book is a step-by-step training manual. It definitely talks about how to ask and how to get off the spot when you're being bullied and bulldozed. There's a lot of how-to stuff there also. I teach women how to create allies out of all the men in their lives. The book is also a journey through how to get all of the support that you need from the people in your life to make your actual dreams and desires come true.

Not the ones that you think are attainable and not the ones that you think are socially acceptable. A huge part of the book is breaking the, good girl conditioning.

Myrna: How can those listening and watching in TV connect with you? How can they get a copy of your book and get your get information about your Academy?

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PTWWN TV

Kasia: The easiest way to find out more is to go to the website www.weteachpower.com.

We have an announcement on the site of all our classes. Also, there are tons of free resources and videos and things that the interested listeners, viewers and readers can engage with. The book is available everywhere books are sold. Penguin Random house published it and there's my Ted talk that I delivered to 10,000 people live as well.

Myrna: Thank you for being so in-depth about understanding the mindset of women and the mindset of the power. What is your social media handle?

Kasia: @realkasiaUrbaniak on Instagram.

Conclusion

Please remember to subscribe to the podcast on iTuneswe would love for you to rate and post a review so that we can get these fantastic guests out to wider audience.

Thanks for tuning in and until next time, blessings.

Additional Resources

How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine

How to Have Faith That Sets You Free

When you replace, fear, with, faith, it prevents your, subconscious mind, from going into reflex mode and bringing what you, fear, into your experience.

The Bible teaches that, faith, without works is dead. That means as we say in my birth country of Guyana

Put your money where your mouth is.

Eg. If you, have faith, that God is going bring you the desires of your heart and you desire to have a child; then you don’t do like Sarah and have your husband sleep with Hagar (your maid)  so you can have a child. No you have, courage, to stay the course and in God’s time you will have a child.

  • You pick out baby names,
  • Shop for your nursery,
  • You buy pregnancy clothes,
  • And you live in expectancy, hoping every month that your period does not show up!

Listen to the full episode here: 

Faith means getting up after you fall down

If you experience some setbacks like several miscarriages, you have, courage,  and believe in Gods promise, that everything works out for your good. You believe that Gods intentional!

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

You Banish, fear!

The only thing you have to, fear, is, fear, itself. Fear, is false evidence appearing real.

When you replace, fear, with faith it prevents your, subconscious mind, from going into reflex mode and bringing what you, fear, into your experience.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Program your subconscious mind with faith

The, subconscious mind, can’t tell fact from fiction, it brings you whatever you think about consistently.

Jesus says by their fruits we shall know them.

If you live with, courage, we shall know you by your fruits because, faith, is the language to God and he always delivers.

Man was created in Gods image with the power to rule the world. Have faith, that you have the power to manifest your heart’s desire and believe that whatever you hold on your head, you will hold in your hand.

The universe is obedient to Gods will.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

How to increase your faith

Every living thing has confidence in something or somebody.  You, have faith, that if you deposit your money in the bank, it will be there when you go to withdraw it. You, have faith, that if you plant a mango tree, it will bear mangoes and not oranges.

Similarly, we must, have faith, that whatever we ask God in prayer he will answer.

It is your habitual tendency of thought that reappears in your body and recreates the conditions in your life.

You become what you think about most of the time.

https://youtu.be/pcQz3Y-Zl5A

Speak faith Not fear

The words you use are the channels in which the creative energy takes shape.

This energy takes the shape from the instrument from which it passes. Water flowing from a crooked cup, flows crooked. Water must take the shape of the pipe from which it flows.

You can't think one thing and produce another, this is as impossible as an electric fan being used for lighting purposes.

As a man thinketh so is he.

There is an intelligence in all nature. Faith, without works is dead but with it, sets you free.

Say Goodbye to, Fear, cultivating, courage, have faith, and if you are afraid, Do it afraid.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Fear looks down Faith looks up

When you, fear, you have a pessimistic view of life.  Worrying about the future is futile, we have no control about the future so if you are going to imagine the worst, why not shift it and use your imagination to create the life you want.

We are able to create whatever we think about most of the time. We become what we think about.

Think about this story. A young lady was worrying about losing her job. She feared losing her home, becoming homeless and worked herself into a frenzy by looking down into the abyss of, fear. But if she used her imagination to dream about getting a promotion instead of losing her job. Dreaming about buying a new home allows her to look up.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

A Dolphin Trainer Finds Purpose After Cancer

Joy the story of cancer survivor

It was the first time since I started coughing, I put my hand on my throat and I felt a lump. Shortly after that, I was diagnosed with, throat cancer. It was stage two, Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I remember asking the doctor what happens if I don't get, chemotherapy, and she said you'll be dead within the year. I really didn't have any choice, it was an aggressive form of, cancer, and I needed to just stick it out and battle it with the, chemotherapy.

I came up with the idea of making a documentary of my, cancer, journey  because that way I could still learn about filmmaking and I wanted to show a story of, survival, because when I turn to the movies, I don't see any, cancer survivor, stories only stories of, cancer, patients who  passed away. I knew that there were millions of, cancer survivors, out there and I wanted to show a story of, survival.

My guest today is Joy Claussen Soto. Joy is a, cancer survivor, filmmaker and author. Today, we are going to be talking on the topic “How to find your, purpose, after cancer or after a major illness?

Myrna: Can you share your journey as a, dolphin trainer, and how that specifically helps you overcome, cancer, because I know that you're tying them together somehow.

Listen to the full interview here:

My Journey as a Dolphin Trainer

Joy: Well my journey as a, dolphin trainer, started a long time ago when I was in college. For me, the really important part was when I applied to get a job at SeaWorld.  I tried a number of times to get a job at Sea World, but it never worked out because they just weren't hiring people. Fortunately, I happened to call at the right time and they asked me to take a, swim test. I was in Chicago at the time, so I had to fly out to San Diego and I had one day to take this test.  I went down to a pool to practice the, swim test, which was holding your breath for 120 seconds underwater, touching the bottom which is 26 feet deep and some other things.

Those were the biggest challenges that I was having trouble with. So I went down to the pool to started practicing. I would hold my breath and then come up maybe a quarter of the way. I couldn't even get half the way through the pool without needing to come up for oxygen and when I dived down in a pool that's six feet deep my ears start to hurt. But, for some reason I still got on that plane and went to San Diego to do this, swim test, at Sea World. I knew that I hadn't practiced physically, but I remembered reading about athletes and how they used their minds to visualize the ball going through the hoop, and gymnasts who visualize themselves doing all their moves. Those were my thoughts as I was on the plane. I started visualizing everything. I visualized myself swimming through the water, wanting to give up and not giving up, and making it to the other side and also same thing with diving down.

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Visualizing Dolphin trainer swim test

I practiced holding my breath the whole time on the airplane. I probably looked like a crazy person. I had my watch out and started practicing that, visualization, also helped me, beat cancer.  I went there to Sea World took the, swim test, and miraculously, I got in the water and I passed the test. I was so happy that I had done it, I didn't even care if I got the job because I was just so proud of myself that I put myself out there and I did something that I  physically couldn't do just 24 hours before.

When it comes to, cancer, I'd seen how powerful, visualization, was. I would use that when I was sick, because I think one of the things when you are going through something like that is that you feel a loss of control. We all know that a loss of control can lead to, depression. When I was going through, cancer, I couldn't have control over what the, Chemotherapy, was doing to my body. I didn't have control over what the doctors were doing, but I did have control over my mind.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Visualization to Beat Cancer

I visualized, Chemotherapy, killing the, cancer, eating the, cancer, and make these little things in my mind to help it along. So, that helped me. Even though, it may not have been real control, but perceived control,  I was using that as one of the ways I was able to gain back control. That was one thing that helped me from my job as a, dolphin trainer.

Myrna: Visualization, is powerful. I always reference back to Christopher Reeves, when anybody's talking about, visualization, as a part of healing. Christopher Reeves book called “Nothing is Impossible” talks about how he used, visualization, to heal his body when he was paralyzed from the neck down and all he could do is blow into a straw to speak. That was powerful stuff and I never forgot it.  Visualization, helped him start walking and speaking. He did it by sitting on his porch every single day and, visualizing, his body healing and that's my base. A lot of people have done that since then but visualization is big. Can you bridge the gap in a bit for us about your cancer story?

Joy: Even though my passion was working with dolphins, I also wanted to become a filmmaker. So, I quit my job at SeaWorld and enrolled in Film School. I was in film school for three months and that was when I found the lump in my throat. I had been coughing, the cough was getting worse instead of better and I felt really tired.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Being diagnosed with Throat Cancer

It was the first time since I started coughing, I put my hand on my throat and I felt a lump. Shortly after that, I was diagnosed with, throat cancer. It was stage two, Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I remember asking the doctor what happens if I don't get, chemotherapy, and she said you'll be dead within the year. I really didn't have any choice, it was an aggressive form of, cancer, and I needed to just stick it out and battle it with the, chemotherapy.

I came up with the idea of making a documentary of my, cancer, journey  because that way I could still learn about filmmaking and I wanted to show a story of, survival, because when I turn to the movies, I don't see any, cancer survivor, stories only stories of, cancer, patients who  passed away. I knew that there were millions of, cancer survivors, out there and I wanted to show is a story of, survival.

Myrna: What it sounds like is that, at no point in time you thought you're going to die, because you wanted to show a story of, survival,  that's faith. Where did you get that faith?

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Transform your Mind Podbean
Transform your Mind Podbean

Faith and survival

Joy: I've always had a belief in God, and my dad taught me about, faith. I remember we had a lot of my relatives pass away in a short period of time when I was little. I remember sitting on the chair with my dad in our house, he explained to me what death was.

He said some people are here for a certain reason – to help other people learn lessons and to learn lessons themselves. That can mean just being here for a couple of minutes or it can mean an entire lifetime. So, I just kind of took that as my understanding of, purpose, and I've used that throughout my life. Well, I'm here to learn lessons, but I don't know what those lessons are. Hopefully, I'm learning them right now and I'm here to help teach other people lessons. So, that has helped me get through, cancer treatments.

Myrna: Regardless of how you believe and how much, faith, you have when you heard that, cancer, diagnosis, fear had to creep in.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Fear and Zig Zigler

Joy: Absolutely. I was in a battle with myself and, fear. I have footage in my documentary of me talking to the camera at my lowest point when I let, fear, in. What really helped me, was I had listened to a Zig Ziglar motivational tape. There was one story of him being stuck in an Airport, his flight was canceled, but instead of him being angry or upset like most people would have, he just said fantastic. He came up with all the reasons why it was good that his flight wasn't taking off:

  • Maybe there's something wrong with that plane
  • something wrong with the people flying that plane
  • the weather was bad and could crash the plane.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

If that's the case, he said “I don't want to be up there, I want to be right down here, fantastic.”  That was powerful for me, because it showed me that we have control over how we either respond or react to things. I had a moment when I remembered that life is indeed fantastic!  I started thinking of all things I was grateful for:

  • I was grateful for my friends and family and all the love I was receiving
  • Grateful that they found my, throat cancer, at stage two
  • Incredibly grateful that they found my, cancer, period and they can treat it.
  • I started flipping it instead of going, I was diagnosed with cancer and it's horrible, I started flipping it to get to fantastic.   It helped me to get through it better and become a, cancer survivor.

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Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

An Attitude of Gratitude to beat cancer

Myrna: That's awesome. This is good stuff, they say. Another quote is I like is:

It's not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happened to you.

An,  attitude of gratitude, is a powerful treatment for, cancer. Now, how did you learn to control the, uncontrollable? You said you were able to control the elements in an, uncontrollable, situation. You just said a minute ago that your, visualization, of the, chemotherapy, that you had to do, is an, uncontrollable, situation. What are some of the other things or some of the other elements that you use in this, uncontrollable, situation to control?

Joy:  The whole time that I was sick, I had this visual of me surviving and making a, story of survival. I think that was very powerful and that helped me in taking back control of my life. The, attitude of gratitude, my notebook and the documentary, those were ways I was able to grab back some control when I was going through an, uncontrollable, situation.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Making a Cancer Survival Story documentary

In my, cancer survival, documentary, I filmed all the details of my very bad moments with, cancer, when things weren't going well. At one point, I was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night. I was on a bench for a short period of time. I was very weak. I could hardly talk because I have mucositis. It goes all the way down. It's like a strep throat, but it's from the chemical from my, cancer treatment. Everything was bad and that moment. I needed my first blood transfusion. I asked my friends to keep filming and take footage of me when I'm getting the blood transfusion. I think it is really important to see, that you can go through the fire and come out at the other end.

Myrna; I love it. Where can readers watch this documentary?

Joy: I recently uploaded to YouTube. It’s called “Just one Year – A Story of Triumph over Cancer”. My book is more complete and is called “Joy – The story of a Dolphin Trainer, Filmmaker and Cancer Survivor”.

Myrna: How did becoming a, cancer survivor, help you find your, purpose? Didn’t you think that being a, dolphin trainer, was your, purpose before, cancer?

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

 

Cancer Helped me Find My Meaning Of Life

Joy: I've always loved animals and the ocean. It's always been a big part of my life. That was just something that I enjoyed.

Myrna: That's what you use, positive reinforcement, to work with, Dolphins.

Joy: It just kind of all came together, but I don't know if working with, dolphins, was my, purpose in life. I believe that becoming a, cancer survivor, is my, meaning of life.

Myrna: It gave you a little direction, right?

Joy: Yes, you're not going to just jump out of the crib and have a,  purpose, or know the, meaning of life. I felt like I survived, cancer, to help other, cancer, patients survive. I've been the happiest helping others. I was able to start a program, helping kids with cancer,  where they can come to the park and get in the water to meet a, dolphin. One of the most important parts of that program was that I would tell them my, cancer survival story.

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Sharing my cancer survival story to help kids with cancer

I would say, “Hey, I know a lot of you here are being treated at children's hospital. I was treated there too, but now look; I get to work here as a , dolphin trainer, in my dream job and I get to share it with you.”

Myrna: That's a powerful thing and that gives people hope.

Joy: The first moment when I realized that whenever someone survives something, there's something magical about, survival.

Myrna: What made you write the book and what is the message that you're trying to share?

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Joy: I wrote the book to give people hope. Whenever one of my friends knows of someone who has been diagnosed with, cancer, they would always refer that person to me and I would tell my, survival story, to a lot of different people just to give them hope from my, survival. I know it's giving people hope.

I had a friend of mine who just went through, cancer. She's still growing back her hair. I haven't talked to her since high school, that's a long time ago. She read my book and she said it was like reading her own, survival story. It showed her that life can be even better after, cancer. I also wanted to share that the problems do not go away after you, survive cancer. People would think okay now that you, beat cancer, that you should be so blissful. That you're floating in heaven.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Your Cancer Journey does not end after you Beat Cancer

That's not the case. For me, I was bald. All my muscles had atrophied from being in a hospital bed for the last six months. I had, PTSD, but I didn't know it. I was still in my head sick and going through, cancer, every night. I would sleep and dream that I was still sick in the hospital. It took me a year. I think something that's really important is when you go through something like this to know when it's time to reach out for help. It took me a year to realize I needed to get help. So, I finally started talking to someone about a year out and that's when I feel like I started to really heal from, cancer.

Myrna: Wow, this is a bonus.  I would never have imagined that after you, survive cancer, and you are going to live that you are not blissfully happy!

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Conclusion

Book Joy the story of a dolphin trainer and cancer survivor
Book Joy the story of a dolphin trainer and cancer survivor

Your story is talking about, survival skills, for, cancer,  but there are so many things that people have to survive other illnesses or . What I mean is, this book can help a lot of people in their, survival story, whether it's divorce, whether it's losing a child, whether it's being homeless or whether it's losing your job. Whatever it is, these principles can be transferred into any, survival story.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Additional Resources 

 

Learn How to Get Back to Basics With These 7 Core Values

How to Go from Success to Significance in 100 Days

How to Have Success in 100 Days

Inspirational coach, Marcus Bell, created a project called the “100 Dayz Challenge” a ‘Wealth and Impact’ boot camp to guide people to the way to success. This Challenge helps people achieve their goals in life.

Marcus Bellringer teaches us how to go from, Success to Significance, in, 100 days. His bootcamp 100, Dayz, Impact Challenge is growing in popularity.  We’re going to straddle the fence today. We talk about music and, life coaching, and  challenge you to make changes to your life in, 100 days.

How to Have Success in 100 Days
How to Have Success in 100 Days

Bio Marcus Bell

MARCUS BELL IS ONE OF THE TOP MUSIC PRODUCERS/COMPOSERS IN THE INDUSTRY. He has worked with some of the biggest artists such as Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, Snoop Dogg and many more. He also produced and composed for some of the most famous films and TV shows. Apart from that, Bell is a successful entrepreneur who wants to help people achieve their goals in life. That’s why he created a project called the “100 Dayz Challenge” a ‘Wealth and Impact’ boot camp to guide people to the way to success.

This Challenge helps people achieve their goals in life.  Bell has also produced soundtracks for several television shows and films. Some of the new and upcoming releases that feature his work are the TV series P-Valley (Starz Network) with the singles ‘Boy Listen’ and ‘Own It’, and the Netflix series Ginny & Georgia with the song ‘Give Us Love’. Marcus Bell also published a #1 best-selling book on Amazon titled ‘Bellringer Branding Bible: The 5 Musician Branding Principles for Singers, Rappers

Listen to the Full Interview

 

Before we get into the details of our conversation today, tell us your journey from being a music producer to a, Life coach, wanting to help people achieve success in their life.

Marcus: The first thing I would say is to start with is I stand for dignity and compassion for myself and all humanity. That’s why everything that I've done and everything that I do is organized around uplifting humanity. When it comes to the music industry now, the thing that I love about the music industry which I've been a part of since I was two years old, is I was born into the entertainment industry.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

I started playing piano when I was two years old,  I was a child prodigy. I started my first company when I was 12 years old, a record label. So, I've been an entrepreneur my entire life, a musician, songwriter and recording artist. What I discovered in my journey was that the things that I was doing when I was younger, like recording myself and playing all the instruments and coming up with the lyrics of the songs and all of those pieces of a puzzle (that’s the actual role of someone that is able to do all of those things and mix the song and bring it to completion and deliver the emotions of the song), those are the roles of a music producer – so I discovered that I was a, music producer, before I was a teenager.

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Book Vignettes of the possibly dying
Book Vignettes of the possibly dying

Become the producer of your life in 100 Days

I learned everything from my mother, she was just amazing at bringing forth treasures in my life. When I was younger, I lived in an area in Virginia (I was born in Norfolk, Virginia). In that area there was a music producer who had produced Marvin Gaye. He was my first contact with someone that was hugely successful in the music industry, his name is Gordon. I was taken to the studio in his house and he was playing my music. Suddenly, he stopped the music and he looked at me, he said “kid don't you listen to the radio?”

What he was saying was “kid what's your style.”  I was playing around in a lot of different genres and did not have a sound.  Today I teach my clients to find their unique talent in, 100 days.  As a kid, I had a song that was hip-hop, I had a song that was jazz, I had a song that was gospel, I had a song that was reggae and a funk song. I was all over the place in terms of the type of music I was producing. But I discovered, I was a, producer.

I discovered in that session that this is what a, music producer, does. A, music producer, looks at the artist and can see what is needed in order to pull the greatness out of that artist. The, producer, then focuses that greatness in a direction that will make the artist successful.  In the, 100 days, challenge, I do the same thing for my clients.  I pull the greatness out of them and I try to do it in, 100 days.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

 

The Wealth and Impact Boot Camp: How to Build Wealth

My job as a, music producer, is to see greatness in my artists and help them discover that greatness for themselves, and capture it on a recording, so that the world can see that greatness.

As a, Life Coach, the Wealth and Impact Boot Camp, is a program that is designed around helping people access their greatness, articulate that value in the marketplace so that they can monetize it and help a massive amount of people.

Myrna: That's great. So, why did the, music producer, back then ask you if you listen to the radio? How does the radio help you as an artist?

Marcus: That's a fantastic question. There are processes to discovering your voice, and as far as I can tell, there are three stages:

  • There's imitation stage,
  • The emulation stage and
  • And the innovation stage.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Goal Setting in the innovation stage

The, imitation, stage is like learning to play the saxophone. I would take out the saxophone put on Charlie Parker and John Coltrane, imitate what they did,  I would try to figure out the notes get the sheet music (this is what they were playing here) and try to sound like them. Basically, I was attempting to be Charlie Parker on the saxophone. This is the, imitation, stage.

For the, emulation, I'll use a different example. When I was in Boston doing something like 10 songs a day, people would come into the recording studio and say “Marcus can you do something that sounds like Timberland” Can you do something that sounds like Baby Face? Can you do something that sounds like Dr. Dre? But in, goal setting, we have to stop, imitation, and, emulation, and start the, innovation, process to create our unique sound or bring our our unique greatness.

I'm not playing exactly what Dr. Dre did, but I would do something that Dr. Dre would have done. It's a sound, it's a feel, it's an energy, it's a vibe.  I'm listening from a lot of different lenses. I am listening for  like the sounds that are selected, the type of setting that is placed, the way the notes are arranged (is it more minor, is it more major) like all these different factors and many different ways to examine something to get to an, emulation, place.  As the, producer, of your life, you can do the same thing with your mentor.

Find somebody who has been where you are trying to go and emulate them until you understand the rules of the game.

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OUR MISSION IS TO INSPIRE MORE WOMEN TO FEEL CONFIDENT BY EMPOWERING THEM TO FULLY TAKE CARE OF THEIR MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT. THIS ALLOWS WOMEN TO HAVE HIGH ENERGY, VITALITY, AND HAVE HIGH EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING TO ACHIEVE THEIR DAILY GOALS WHILE REAPING THE REWARDS OF JOY AND SELF-LOVE.

https://happybeingwell.com/

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Trying to find your sound or unique talent in 100 Days

I didn't know at the time that I was developing a valuable skill from, emulation, and, imitation. That skill allowed me to be featured in different television shows and movies. People still reach out to me and say “Hey Marcus we couldn't clear the Beyoncé song, oh we couldn't clear xyz song (like Lady Gaga’s song), do you have anything that sounds like it? They are using my skill of, imitation, and, emulation.

Innovation, is getting you to your authentic self. In the, 100 dayz challenge, and there's a bunch of different lenses that we can talk about. One lens is think about those conversations that you may have about, time and money.  For example. There's a narrative that gets emulated inside of society, particularly Western society that “time is money”. How many times have you heard that?

Myrna: Are you trying to challenge that concept?

Marcus: Absolutely, because time is much greater than money.

Marcus: I would assert and not only is time much greater than money, but what kind of time are we talking about?

  • Are we talking about space time,
  • What about talking about time as numbers,
  • And talking about time as activity?

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Into the woody hills Book

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Does this sound like your little ones?
Would you want them to change their perspective so that they can see that the world is full of so much richness and beauty?
If this is so,
Embrace This Storybook Which Will Resonate With Your Kids And Teach Them That There Is More To Life Than Just Screens!

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09D8M53F9 (English Version)

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09D8PNP9S (Spanish Version)

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Learning How to build wealth in 100 Days

I've studied a lot about, time and money, time can be used in the context of money to multiply your money (like compound interest) and things like that, but I think when I use that is when someone is wasting my time.

Myrna: Are you talking about the 24-hour day where you are a, producer, a coach or somebody that's working with you that, time is money, because when you waste time you're wasting money?

Marcus: Yes, but you can transform that thinking and have, passive income, from,  compound interest, and all the other things where your time is not connected to, money. I mean, money, is not connected to your time. In the, 100 days, challenge, I spend a lot of time on how to make, money, work for you.   If I were to talk about how I produce revenue, you would agree that, time is not connected to, money.

In the, 100 Dayz challenge, I teach you, how to build wealth, with, passive income, in, 100 days. I have a friend of mine who I'm doing a course with, I'm collaborating with him on a LinkedIn, Wealth and Impact Boot Camp course. He gets paid up to $75,000 for 45 minutes.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Building Wealth by becoming an Innovator

Marcus: Barack Obama is an, innovator, that is why he charges $200, 000 an hour to speak for an hour at events. A, Life Coach, can bring $200,000 worth of value into the lives of their clients and be paid $500. Part of being an, innovator, and, music producer, is looking at what are the elements that make someone unique. What's different about this artist, what is he doing that's different? What's different could be  how you value yourself in a marketplace and so forth. Time is money, is one of those things.

Myrna: I remembered probably the biggest example of that, is Mariah Carey. Mariah Carey has a song “All I want for Christmas is You.” That the song took her 30 minutes to write and it's made 60 million over the years. That is how you, build wealth, and we can say that is this case, time is not money.

Marcus: That’s a great example. Musicians aren't the only ones that have, passive income, from, innovation.  I would assert that every individual once they have connected to the intrinsic value that they have to offer the world, and they're able to hone in on what that value is and offer it to the world, can have, passive income, and not trade time for money.

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Hey there!

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What the 100 Dayz Challenge is About

Myrna: Tell us about your, 100 Dayz Challenge, and how does it connect to finding the authentic self?

Marcus:  The 100, Dayz, Challenge is really designed around taking people from, success to significance. In a community event in 2020 around election time, I was talking about elections and I challenged my clients to elect themselves for office. When someone comes into office like when Biden they have an aggressive agenda in the the first, 100 days, in office. This originated from President Roosevelt. When the country was moving out of the great depression, Roosevelt brought forth the first, 100 days, (this is where we get that from in popular culture and then particularly in politics). When he got into office, his first, 100 days, is where he set the tone for his entire 4 year term by doing as much as possible in, 100 days.

The whole four years, but people ask what did you do in, 100 days? That's why people elected to office, try and get bills passed or reverse things from the past president, all of that activity in that first, 100 days, in office. Traditionally, the first, 100 days, has been the most impactful for the entire eight year term.

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100 Dayz boot camp

In my 100, dayz, challenge, I challenged them to create wealth in a the boot camp to take on, 100 days, for their most important aims. I created a structure around the first, 100 days, because most times when people take on challenges like New Year’s resolutions, by day 15:

  • people stop going to the gym,
  • they're eating cakes again,
  • they stop meditating,
  • Most stop praying or whatever.
  • Arguing with their husband or wife or girlfriend a boyfriend is back
  • Most people can't sustain it.

So, I created a structure for, sustainability. What makes the, 100 Dayz Challenge, unique is that, it is designed with, neuroscience, social psychology, and with psychology in mind; so that you can create sustainable change or elevation or adding something new.  If there is something that you wanted to do that you didn't necessarily have the courage to do, or you didn't have the time to do, you didn't have the resources to do it, whatever. All you have to do is take that thing and put it inside the, 100 Dayz Challenge, structure Program and achieve, success to significance.

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Success to Significance in 100 Days

As a result of the success of the, 100 Dayz Challenge, and because we launched at the same time that Biden came into office. We started this, 100 days, challenge and we opened it up to the public. People can join at any time. We created several, 100 days, programs to suit different goals. As soon as you join it, your, 100 days, starts.

What's happened from the public launch of the program is we realized that this is not just a program:

  • it's not just a course inside (even though there ‘s a course in the 100, dayz, challenge)
  • it's not just a community (even though we are a community)
  • and it's not just a structure (even though there's a structure there),
  • this is actually a Movement.

It's all about self and others, because when you do something for yourself it impacts those around you.

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The Neuroscience of sustainability

Myrna: That's true, but I want to ask you a question, because I know that what you're saying is very true as far as, sustainability, which is one of the reasons that the gyms are so packed after new year's or before summer, because people have a goal at these times but they can't sustain it. You talk about the, neuroscience, of the, 100 dayz challenge, so how does your program help with the neuroscience of quitting?

Marcus: There are things that we know for example, is response to, neuroscience.  There's always an exception to every rule. There's always the exception. For example, there's always the gym that has people packed and all the time, but  what we know in, neuroscience, (I'm not a neuroscientist, but I do a lot of study on, neuroscience.)  It's known that willpower doesn't really work, so you can't “WILL” yourself throughout the day to perform at a high level.

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Willpower and Goal Setting

Willpower,  over time diminishes, so you have less of it as the day progresses, which is why it's important if you're doing something that requires a lot of prefrontal cortex, to do it first thing in the morning. If there's a lot of cognitive load, you do that thing earlier in the day.  If you're going to do finances or accounting or read through contracts or whatever you might want to do that earlier in the day, than at the end of the day. When you're tired from the activities of the day and your, willpower, has diminished, your cognitive abilities also have diminished.

The way the, 100 Dayz challenge, is designed we take an account that people have different goals and different aims. Someone maybe , goal setting, with a  money aim, some will be, goal setting, and have a relationship aim, some may be, goal setting, and have a spiritual aim. The program allows each person to work with the strategies.

Myrna: Tell us about the, 100 Dayz challenge,  program. Is it customized? The example that you gave of a person who wanted to raise money, would it be that a totally different skill than would be set for someone wanted to lose weight or someone wanted to get wealth or maybe someone wanted to find out what is their unique talent. Tell us about your program, 100 Dayz.

Conclusion

Marcus:  The way that works is you as the individual customize it using the tools that we provided.

Myrna: Now, tell our audience how they can connect with this, 100 Dayz Challenge, or where they can connect with you.

Marcus: If someone is interested in joining the, 100 Dayz, Impact Challenge, they will go to 100dayzchallenge.com and join. I will recommend that they join the inner circle because on those inner circle calls, every Monday I get on the phone with the people that are in the challenge and we have conversations.

Myrna: My intention is almost similar to what you're doing here. My intention is to let people know that all they have to do is transform their mind and they can, transform their life, so that's exactly what you're doing here. With the challenge, you are helping people to transform their mind, because the mind is what is can either build you up or bring you down. Once you change that mindset, you will, transform your life.

Thank you so much for helping us to do that today by transforming our mindset that yes, we can do anything we want to do or achieve any goal by just working at it.

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Additional Resources

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

 

How to Reprogram your Unconscious Mind

unconscious mind

Your, unconscious mind,  is carrying out behaviors that sabotage your, conscious mind, 24 hours per day. In fact studies show that our, subconscious,  mind,  is running our lives 95% of the time. If you don't,  reprogram your subconscious mind, you will continue to run the same, subconscious  programs, like a a tape recorder.  We have to erase the tape and rewrite the tape for it to play new programs.  Listen to the interview to learn how to, reprogram your unconscious mind.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Introduction, Unconscious mind

Whenever you are on autopilot, you are running, unconscious mind.  Have you ever gotten in your car and driven to your destination and you don’t recall how you got there.  That is your, unconscious mind, driving you to your destination.

Autopilot is just one of your, subconscious programs,  that has to do with your beliefs.

These, subconscious  programs, were downloaded to you before your 7th birthday are the programs your, unconscious mind,  play until you die; unless you, reprogram your subconscious mind.

Even if you become aware of your, subconscious programs, you still continue the behaviors because the, unconscious mind,  will keep playing the same, subconscious programs.  Think about your vinyl record.  Unless you scratch the record, it will play the same song forever!

When I was growing up my activity of choice  was reading Harlequin romances. I was brainwashed into believing that love looked and acted in a certain way. For example, all the leading men in my Harlequin romance novels, were rugged, tall, dark and good looking. All the leading ladies were independent and did not want a man's help; so the man and the woman ended up feuding and hating each other until they realized that all, this attention they are placing on each other fighting,  were actually the flip side of love!

These lovers, leading men and ladies were never a good match.  Chemistry and raw physical attraction lead the way.  Thirty years later, I was still playing that, subconscious program,  It wasn’t until I met my husband that I started looking on the inside of a man, and not what he presented on the outside that I was able to, reprogram my unconscious mind,

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I was listening to a sermon by, Joel Osteen, a few months back and he was telling the story of, subconscious programs, with his sister. Joel said his sister was praying and asking God for a husband and God sent her a wonderful man; but she rejected him because he had red hair. He did not fit her, subconscious programs, for a mate. It took her years to reprogram her mindset  and love this man.

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Did you grow up in a home where your dad worked and your mom stayed home and watched the kids? You never saw your dad because he was always working and your family just had enough? That is your model of a family and today you are probably still running this, subconscious programs,

 

What is your, Unconscious Mind,  that needs to be rewritten?

I was a foster mom for years.  I see the, unconscious mind, in foster and adopted kids all the time. Especially since most of them came into foster care system before their 7th birthday.  They developed programs on, abandonment, attachment disorders, survival, most of them hoard food because their, unconscious mind, and  lack and survival.

Here are 5,  subconscious programs, Teenagers are running today

  1. Make generalizations (no one loves me, I’m always going to be a failure, I’ll never get a job or pass this test)
  2. Make choices and judgment based on past experiences.

3. Settle in life, don’t apply for jobs or get involved in extra curricular activities.

4. Reviews information and draws conclusions.

If someone breaks their heart, they learn to not trust people – to avoid being hurt again. If living in poverty, feel like will never get enough money to make it out of poverty. If get in a fight, feel they always need to protect them self

    5.  Accepts information literally and personally (take a lot of things said to heart, but not as constructive criticism)

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How to control your, Unconscious Mind

  1. A mental picture is worth a thousand words. Your, unconscious mind, will bring to pass any picture held in the mind and backed by faith.

This is the space I am spending a lot of time in, at the moment.  I am working on visualizing my goals and desires and speaking, affirmations.   I am having a hard time of it, because I am not a visual person. But this is the first step in controlling the, unconscious mind,  Visualizing what you want.  Let the, unconscious mind, find the way, you only have to give it the destination.

For example if you want to be married by the age of 30 and have 3 kids.  That is the mental picture you give your, unconscious mind,  The universe will find the man and arrange the kids! Just say, affirmations, every day to reprogram your, unconscious mind.

Daily Affirmations, like:

  • I will get married to the man of my dreams by age 30
  • The Universe will deliver to me the man of my dreams by the time I am 30
  • I will get married by age 30 and have 3 kids by age 35

Remember to give your, unconscious mind, only instructions that would elevate and heal. It is the secret to your success. Your, unconscious mind, cannot take a joke. Don’t say things like with my luck the man that shows up would be bowed legged with buck teeth!   Because guess what, hold that image in your mind for any length of time and that is what you will get, a bow legged man with buck teeth. Trust me on this.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher
  1. Use, Autosuggestion, to improve any degradation.

About 10 years ago I read, Deepak Chopra’s,  book called Grow Younger, Live Longer In this book Deepak taught us to say, affirmations, every day.  It went like this.

Daily Affirmations for aging younger

  • Every day, in every way, I am getting younger and younger,
  • my biological clock is set at a healthy 30 years of age,
  • I look and feel a healthy 30 years of age.
  • Every day I am renewing my mind and body by eating healthy foods,
  • I take nutritional supplements wisely, etc.

I don’t remember all of it.  I was saying these, affirmations, around my 40th birthday.  So over 20 years ago.  I still remember those, affirmations, because I said them every day for several months.

This year on  my 60th birthday, I posted a picture on Facebook and this girl commented.  She said “It is like you stopped aging at 30 years old.  You just said F**K it!  I am not getting any older! I do look 20 years younger than my chronological age and that’s because I rewrote my, subconscious programs,!

How to Rewrite  Your Subconscious Mind

In my, conscious mind, I was always planning out my future and all things I wanted it to entail.  I told myself, you will never be broke, you’re a go getter and you will always meet your basic necessities because of that.  This mindset, relays into my life because it reminds me that failure is never an option and all things are possible because I know it is.

Many times, I feel that I have programmed my, unconscious mind, for the success.  I heal myself faster from injuries.  For example, one time my eye was swollen, and I had a workshop coming up in 2 days.  I said to my, subconscious mind, don’t sweat it, you are going to get a warm rag and sleep with it on your eye, then you will use antibiotics and by the day of your workshop it will be gone.

Sure enough, the eye was not swollen anymore and I was able to facilitate my workshop with two functional eyes.  Furthermore, despite all the adversity I have experienced in my life, I was always sure that I would finish University and get my degree.  I programmed my, unconscious mind, to  prepare for the test.

Remember the, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage the, conscious mind.

Our, subconscious programs, doesn't stop at age 7; but continues for the rest of our lives.

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Getting Past our, Subconscious Programs

  1. Take risks to get past, subconscious programs,  Your, unconscious mind,  always wants to play it safe.
  2. Ask questions like, What else is possible that I have not considered?
  3. Say things like, how cool is it that I have all this extra money.

4. What am I going to do with all this extra cash?

5. How can I make this a reality?

6. What if I become a successful as a TV talk show host?  What would that look like? See yourself in this role. This one is for me!!

Conclusion reprogram your unconscious mind

This strategy is called, auto inquisition.  Thomas Edison practiced, auto inquisition. He would sit in a chair and ask his, unconscious mind, questions about an invention.  You can do the same.

    1. Give yourself permission to be successful, believe that you deserve good things to happen
    2. Don’t allow other peoples fears to make you doubt yourself.
    3. Surround yourself with positive reinforcement and allies.
    4. Speak your success as present fact not a future plan.  Instead of saying I am figuring out how to do that now, say I am strategist.  What do I need to make that happen right now.
    5. Start asking for what you want and keep track of all the things that have happened (gratitude journal)
    6. Create a vision space, so you can imagine what it is you want to happen in your life.

Additional Resources Unconscious mind

“Keeping a healthy mind is important to have a balanced life. Mental health training can help you enhance self-awareness providing tips and knowledge about this topic”.

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-program-your-subconscious-for-permanent-change/

https://inlpcenter.org/five-step-process-for-releasing-limiting-beliefs/

 

 

 

 

How to Recover Financially After Coronavirus Pandemic

How to recover financially after Coronavirus pandemic

We have been in a, pandemic, situation for over 15 months now. Many of you who are reading this blog, have experienced some, personal finance, problems. We know that Amazon, Walmart, Google and all those big brands actually made millions of dollars and were very profitable during this, pandemic.

But, it is a fact that ordinary people like you and me had some struggles. Financial planner, Michelle Arpin Begina is going to share with us how to change our, money mindset, by paying attention to your, money story.  Your, money story, shows up in good times and bad times. So, keep reading to understand how your, money mindset, affected whether you thrived in this, pandemic, or just survived.

Listen to the full interview:

 

Your Money Story

This is the time to really get curious and ask yourself, What is my, money story? Go back and trace the roots of your, money story, and experiences?

Similarly, ask yourself as an adult, What did I hear growing up about, money? What did I take away from the big financial moments of my life? What were some of the behaviors that I observed from other people or my parents, that influence my, personal finance, now?

  • Did you become a consumer or did you become a miser?
  • Did your parents tell you all the time ” Money does not grow on trees”
  • or ‘Money is the root of all evil”

Those messages are a part of my, money story.

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Your Parents Money Story

Michelle: I remember growing up watching my parents and saying to myself two things:

  • If only they could get their, personal finance, act together, because they had all the ingredients to have everything they wanted. We all have it within us.
  • The second thing I said was: this is not going to be me. But, as it turned out. When I first got started out, I started following their footsteps.

Myrna: Oh! You became a, consumer, too?

Michelle: I did! I bought the new car when I was 19, while I was paying my own tuition and rent. So, I lived with that feeling of financial insecurity. I kept it going with, personal finance, problems well into my 30s and then I turned it around.

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How to Thrive after the Coronavirus Pandemic

Myrna: What is the, personal finance, lesson that you want to share with us, that can help the people who are barely surviving?

Michelle: I can say that it's not just about the, consumers,  and the savers, but there's probably more depth to thriving than that. We have to go into some biology.

Myrna: So, let's take a deep dive into biology of the, money mindset.

Michelle: Alright! We've got to cut slack for the, consumers, and the savers. Putting away money for a rainy day, could turn someone into a tight wad, where they are not enjoying their, money. There are so many different translations that can happen from what we take in as a child and that forms our, money story.

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Become friends with your future self. 

Let's talk about flourishing for a second. We are hardwired to live in the moment, because we are psychologically distant from Michelle 10.0.

We are not friends with our future self. Michelle 10.0 or Myrna 10.0, is not our relative. We don't feel this connection with her today, so we can't help it. This is who we are as people, this is our biology. It's very difficult to handle, money, outside of what our needs or wishes or even impulses are in the moment.

What we need to do is recognize this. When the 401K rep comes in, when you don't have two dimes to rub together and say if you put away the maximum amount in this account, you'll be a billionaire by the time you're 65. When you were 22, it's going to go in one ear and out the other. You tell the 401K rep, I can't even afford lunch! A 22 year old has no relationship with her 65 year old self.

Myrna: You hit the nail right in the head. I was just saying that people can't save because they have no extras to save.

Most of us have more month than, money!

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Transform Your Money Story to protect your future

Michelle: What we can do to help ourselves and transform our, money story, is to literally create a relationship with your future self. The closer we feel to that person, as if they were really alive today and is our friend, the more that we're going to act in their best interests.

There are so many new little things that we have to accomplish in the day-to-day details to get us to that overarching goal. So, when we're in the moment of the impulses or just choosing between two different things, and we want to maintain, self-control. What actually helps is to create distance in the moment. When we talk to ourselves in the third person, it actually helps us to control our behavior in the moment.

Myrna: I get it like saying

Myrna would never do that, Myrna is going to do is make the choice that is going to really help her in the future.”

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What the Pandemic taught us about our money story

Myrna: Let's get back to the, pandemic. What has the, global pandemic, taught us about, money?

Maybe you're going to be a little different because, money, is your work, and you study it. Did you learn anything new about yourself and your, money beliefs, during the, pandemic, what do you think the global lesson was for us?

Michelle: I‘m a little afraid to answer this question.

Myrna: Let's talk. It's just your opinion.

Michelle: What I‘ve learned during this, pandemic, is a little embarrassing to say out loud is I learned a whole lot more about our systems and just how differently everybody is impacted, was the biggest thing that I witnessed.

Heartbreaking really in many ways and I‘ve discovered is that our systems were not designed to take care of people. Our systems were designed for the efficient management of accounts to obey the laws, rules and regulations. Many people had no, money, in the Bank because they didn't see the need to save or to put something away for the rainy day. This, pandemic, exposed that flaw. 

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The Pandemic changed our money story

Myrna: Do you think that our values have changed, now that the, pandemic, highlighted our, money mindset?

Michelle: That's basically what I was trying to get to as far as, money mindset, and the fallout from our, money story. Maybe their, money mindset, was thatyou get it”, you spend it that kind of thinking. I like to think – I mean it's hard to know on a such a broad level whether it has or hasn't, but I think for someone who was probably scared to their core, there will be a change to their, money mindset.

  • If they lost jobs or clients,
  • Were not able to continue to work or couldn't pay their rent or mortgage. Their, money mindset, will shift to saving for a rainy day.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

We've heard so many different things happened. The income that I was relying on to make my month is evaporated or it's down etc., but to me, it really is that, fight or flight, or life or death kind of an experience. On the other hand, we may want to totally push that out of our mind because it was such  an awful experience.  

I think for a lot of people who maybe saw, for the first time, at their own hand, how perilous their situation could become. I think those people have probably changed their, money mindset.

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What's your success formula to change money mindset

Myrna: Great!!! You're a financial planner. Do you want to share your, success formula, or how you help your clients to develop a relationship with their future self and change their, money mindset?

Michelle: What a, financial planner, does is to help you with, personal finance such as:

  • Plan for the rainy day,
  • Put away for retirement,
  • Save to buy a house,
  • You plan for vacations.

Myrna: That's what you guys do, right? I understand you have a, success formula, can you share that? Like thinking about what resources did you bring to the table not just with, personal finance, but who did you know, what did you know etc..

Michelle: The, success formula, can be called your superpowers. We use the word superpower so much, but what part of you is special and unique? What do you bring to the table in every single one of your successes? We use that information to develop hope, optimism and resiliency.

What superpowers did you use to pull those things in when times when facing difficulty or you faced a challenge. How did you react when there was an upside surprise?

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All of those traits that I just described, in whatever way someone uses them, it's so cool. I mean we've all got a special factor that's so different from one another. If you just look at your own and you start picking it apart, you can see how I can pull on this thread when it comes to my money.

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Your money superpowers is your success formula

It's about figuring out what's effective so that's like the part of the expanded version of, personal finance. Financial Literacy, is what I would call it which is really kind of recognizing that we have a psychology and biology around in our brains and body around our, money. It's not just understanding markets or investing or good sound, financial planning, or, risk management, or all of those things which are important, but it's about your strengths.

Looking at the big picture and understanding someone's background, who they are and are not with their, money, what their wishes are, what their values are, of course what the, money, is and then really digging into some of their, money mindset, about what makes them.

Myrna: So, that's the, success formula.

Michelle: Yes, we use what makes you successful in other areas of your life and use the common thread to help you to be successful with your, money.

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The success formula challenge

Myrna: I understand that you have a website or a challenge to help the readers and those watching on TV. That would help them develop their, success formula. You want to talk about that?

Michelle: The best place for people to find me is my website, which is www.michelleab.com. Right on the home page is my, success formula, guide which anyone can download. Other channels that people can as well reach me or connect with me are on LinkedIn,

You can watch the full interview on the Transform Your Mind Podcast YouTube channel.

Also you can tune in at six o'clock Est every Sunday for our Preach the Word Network Television broadcast and of course you can listen in the radio WDJY 99.1 FM Wednesdays at 5p.m.

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Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

Myrna: Thanks again Michelle. Thanks everyone for tuning in and until next time, blessings.

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Additional Resources

Understanding the Rules of Economics and Money

Is True Wealth Financial Freedom?

 

How To Get Out Of The Snares of Child Abuse

Out of the Snares of Poverty and Child Abuse

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement is a book written to encourage women of color who were born in lack. It showcases my, personal growth, journey and how I got, out of the snares, of poverty and, child abuse.

 

This is my interview on the Books of the Month show on www.ptwwntv.com

Listen to the interview:

 

Introduction to Out Of the Snares

Myrna – I am a, life coach, I host a show on the preach the word television network called Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, one of the reasons that I wrote the book, Out of the Snares, is because I believe and I wanted to encourage women that it is not where we come from, but where we end up that’s important.

It's also the only way that we can go through that transition like from a caterpillar to a butterfly is if we allow the things that happen to us in life help us with, personal growth.  We should use challenges to transform ourselves and for our, personal development.

So, the book, Out of the Snares, is basically a story of my life.  I wrote it from a, life coaching, perspective with 10 principles of, life experiences, that happened to me and what I learned from those, life experiences.

I’m a, life coach, but I do most of my coaching on my show Transform Your Mind. It is a radio, podcast and a television show.

Dr O.C Pringle:  You're doing it all sister Young, you're doing it all right and so of course your inspiration would be your, life's experience, and, child abuse. let's talk about that.

Out of the Snares of Child Sexual Abuse

Myrna:  I was, sexually abused, as a child in Guyana by a family friend.  He was technically my Godfather, but being from a third world country, a very poor country and he was very rich.

We would call him a, pedophile, he showered me with a lot of attention,  and bought me a lot of gifts and then took advantage of that.

I didn't realize that we were doing anything wrong until I became 13 and started having Boyfriends.

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DR O.C Pringle: Until you became what?  Wait how old were you?

 

Myrna:  This, sexual abuse, began at age 10.

 

Dr O.C Pringle: Wow did anything ever happen to this guy?

 

Myrna: No, because like most children I didn’t say anything about it. I told no one. This book was my first experience talking about it and I in my 40’s when I wrote, Out of the Snares. My dad read the book and was very upset that he did not know this was going on.

Children carry a lot of shame regarding, sexual abuse, I still carried shame when I wrote, Out of the Snare. As you can see I used my maiden name Trotman for the author name.

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iHeart Radio

Dr. O.C Pringle: So, you placed Myrna Bernadette Trotman on the cover of the book, because you didn't want people to know it was you, but your picture is on the cover!!

 

Myrna: I started to release shame when I started talking about the, sexual abuse, and when I learnt that children can’t give consent for sex. So whatever guilt and shame that I had attached to my, sexual abuse, I released it.

 

Dr O.C Pringle: Well listen it worked out for your good, but all things work together for the good of them that loved God and are called according to his, purpose, so your, sexual abuse, worked in your favor. You were able to redirect that energy into something positive where you're helping people all over the world.  You're on radio and on television, yes you are some kind of a woman.

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares
Out of the Snares of poverty, and sexual abuse

So, let's talk some more about the book.

 

Myrna: Out of the Snares, is made up of 10 principles in life that we should live by:

 

  1. Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you– Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of vision casting.
  2. The events in your life whether good or bad, work together for good– God said I know your expected end. Stay the course; don't give up until you win.
  3. Let the, Universal Laws of Attraction, the, Laws of Intention, work for you– Ask and it will be given unto you.
  4. Have a, Positive Mindset– Take control of your thoughts and attitudes. Get rid of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
  5. Use what you have in your hand– You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
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  1. Be intentional about your Growth– Be proactive, be intentional, build on your gifts, and continually improve.
  2. If you build it, they will come“ Be a servant first.
  3. Find your Passion– it is the Fire in your belly. Become conscious of what lights you up. God put that Fire in your belly as a beacon to achieve your purpose.
  4. Love– it is what makes this Human experience worthwhile. Love yourself first. Love is spirit, God is spirit.
  5. Business Consciousness– how to create a startup company and succeed in marketing.

Additional Resources

Do You Have A Child Sexual Abuse Story? Break the Silence

Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

Help Me Makeover My Marriage: Communication

Help me makeover my marriage

Help me, makeover my marriage, improve intimacy, find personal time and communicate better with my, husband. Communication,  is very important in a, marriage, because you have to communicate to fix problems. It is a man thing, they all shut down and go into their, man cave. In fact, marriage counselors,  say that the worst thing you can say to a man is “we need to talk”

Welcome to the premiere episode of, Help Me Makeover My Marriage. Today we are going to talk about, communication, in a  marriage. 

I'm your host Life coach Myrna Young, my guest today is Michele Brunson and together we want to share our experiences in our, marriages, to help you, makeover my marriage. 

Listen to the full Episode Here:

I can be called the Marrying Woman

I have been married four times so you can call me a, marrying woman, for a total of 30 years.  Michele has been married for 25 years. Her husband died last year, we give her our condolences. 

We want to  help you to with your, marriage makeover. A lot of times when things are not going right in our, marriage, or our, relationships, we always feel that the grass is greener on the other side, so we think I'm going to be able to find someone better, but I'll tell you,

 “The grass is never greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it.” 

 

Wherever you put your attention on, wherever you put your focus on is definitely what's going to grow. So Michelle and I will give you, marriage advice,  and strategies to help you to, makeover my marriage. 

Treat your husband according to knowledge

The reason we're saying that, you need to be the change you seek, is because I've always remembered what my Pastor Tony said to me years ago, maybe about 20 years ago. A lot of times we don’t use knowledge and knowledge is never useful until used. Pastor Tony said to me. “Whenever I go to God, I never ask him to change my, wife, I ask him to change me.”  

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The reason that’s important is because like me and most of you, we're always blaming our, husbands, or our partners for whatever is wrong in our, relationships. I am in my fourth, marriage,  now as I said before and I came into this, marriage, with all kinds of expectations. 

I was in my 40's when I got, married, this last time, so I had a lot of stuff that came with me. 

  1. Baggage and expectations and I brought it all into my, marriage, and we started having all the same problems again because you are the common denominator if you have multiple, marriages, and everything  follows you. 

When I decided to change ME my, marriage, started getting better.  This was 20 years after I heard that advice, a lot of times we have knowledge and we don't actually use it. My current teacher,  Pastor Glover would say

“treat your, husband, like he's your king and love him the way you want to be loved.” 

So that's what I did and a remarkable thing happened!  I found out that I enjoyed serving my, husband,  I enjoyed treating my, husband, like my king and our relationship started to mend, because I was no longer pointing fingers.  I was no longer you not talking to him because of something he wasn't doing. 

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So, in this episode and subsequent episodes we're going to give you information on how to change YOU,  because it all starts with you. 

In this first segment of “Help Me Makeover My Marriage,” we're going to do a question and answer, later segments we'll have guests come on the show. Today we are gonna start with questions that was sent into us from my  Facebook group called Lifecoach 

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Help me Makeover my Marriage and get Intimacy Back

Our first question comes from Debbie in Miami, Florida.  Debbie writes:

I've been married for 12 years my, husband,  and I have two children ages 7 and 10. I immersed myself in the role of mother and, wife, as a, stay-at-home mom, while my, husband, worked full-time and saw his role as the provider. 

As a, stay-at-home mom, I rarely took time for myself and began to resent my, husband, for not helping with the kids and not paying me any attention. Our, intimacy, suffered and my resentment built up.  I even started looking outside the, marriage, for fulfillment. 

Debbie’s asks, Help me, makeover my marriage, and recapture, intimacy

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Myrna – Debbie I had a similar experience with my second, husband, and my, marriage, ended

because I built up resentment and never communicated  this to my, husband. The situation was reversed. I was the breadwinner making most of the money and he sat around doing nothing because he told me that housework and looking after the kids was women's work. 

So, here I was paying all the bills and I was being treated like the maid. I built up resentment and that, marriage, eventually ended, but now I know better.  Again knowledge is only powerful when you use it. Now I know that what Debbie should do is to ask for help. She should say to her, husband. 

“Babe I know that you work all day and you're the provider for this family and we made this contract that I'm going to be a, stay-at-home mom, but I need a break. Can you help out?”

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Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

I need you to help around the house. I need you to help with the kids, because being a mom is a full-time job. He goes to work from nine to five and then he's off, but a mom is always on the job, it's a full-time job. Maybe also get a babysitter for kids every two weeks or something and have date night so, that you guys can be together without the kids and recapture, intimacy. 

So my advice to you would be to Help, makeover my marriage, is: 

  • First of all ask for what you want 
  • And second, make the time to do your part. 

If you have the, intention, that you are gonna love your, husband, and you're gonna appreciate him for being the breadwinner, because that's what he is, and you show him appreciation, he will give you back love.  

Michelle what would you say to Debbie from your experience? Mitchell is actually an Intercessor, so maybe you can bring in a biblical touch or scripture from the bible that can help Debbie, makeover my marriage. 

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Michele – Myrna I want to thank you for having me on your show.  My advice to Debbie to help her, makeover my marriage, would first off be pray for your, husband, first because most, wives, don't start there. Pray for your, husband, because God is his creator and he will change any situation concerning your, husband, and if your, husband, is providing for the family no, husband, wants to come home after fighting all day at work and have to fight with his, wife. 

So, the first thing that she needs to do is have peace in her home, if her, husband, is  providing and it's for a season, because like you said y'all in this contract together and you chose to be a, stay-at-home mom. 

Another, marriage advice, would be to have a schedule because some women don't know how to have a schedule. Monday you might do one thing, Tuesday something else. Don't try to do everything all at once, that’s how you get overwhelmed and burnt out. 

If you feel mis-valued in your, marriage, you should have, communication, with your, husband, about it. You should value one another, you value him as your king.  Once you start with valuing your, husband, and appreciating him for who he is. He's going out there making it happen every day and providing for you and the kids, you should make him feel comfortable in his own home. 

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Marriage Makeover Wives become a Woman of Noble Character

As, wives, we create the atmosphere in the home. I would have her reflect on Proverbs 31:

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

11. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

12. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

13. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

14. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

15. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

16. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

18. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

19. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

21. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

26. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

29. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”  

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Help me Makeover My Marriage Self-care

Myrna – That's what we fail to do sometimes as women, we forget to take care of ourselves.  Self-care, is very important and that's what she's lacking, because she's so consumed with looking after the kids she's not doing, self-care.  Self-care, also leads to, intimacy, because if you look good you're going to feel good and your, husband, is going to feel that, sexual energy. 

What advice do you give Debbie for re-establishing, intimacy,  with her husband? 

A practical way couples can rebuild, marital intimacy, is through cultivating nonsexual, affectionate touch: sitting close to one another on the couch, hugging, holding hands, loving kisses and caresses. For some couples who have experienced a drop in, intimacy, engaging in sexual intercourse can seem like a bridge too far. Help them get there by encouraging them to simply embrace and touch one another. Affectionate embraces from a spouse can communicate deeply of care and love in, marriage, without the encumbrance or burden that every touch signals one spouse’s desire for sex.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

I have always scheduled personal time with my husband, even when we go on vacations. 

One time we take the kids and one time we go alone. Women do not understand that they need personal time alone with their spouse without the kids to keep, intimacy, alive. 

Help me Makeover My Marriage Personal Time

Michele – I would get up before everybody else in the house got up for my, personal time, of  prayer because that really set up my entire day. Once you pray and set the environment, your day will be less stressful. 

Myrna – That's good, marriage advice, a lot of women take time for, self-care, at the end of the night when the kids are in bed. 

Before we go to the next question let's circle back to reiterate that, wives, got to appreciate their, husbands, for what he does for the family.  In this case Debbie need to show appreciation for her, husband, as the breadwinner. 

Maintaining long- term Relationships
Makeover My Marriage – Intimacy

Our next question for Help me, makeover my marriage, comes from Hollis in Atlanta, Georgia.  Hollis writes I have been married for 10 years,  my, husband,  and I have a good, marriage, not great because he does not like to talk.  The slightest disagreement sends him into his, man cave, and I can't reach him or get him to talk, Help me, makeover my marriage, and improve my, communication, with my, husband. 

Help me Makeover My Marriage: Communication

Like I said earlier the, marriage advice, that I'm giving is, marriage tips, that I can pull from my personal, marriage, experience. Right now I'm married to a man who does not like to talk and i like to talk. So normally I would lead the conversation and he would sit there and listen, then I would say you know conversation is a dialogue and he would say I'm listening to you. 

But recently I changed that model. I just finished reading the book “What Happened to You” By Oprah Winfrey and Dr Perry.  Dr Perry was explaining why kids who experienced trauma don’t talk. 

Dr Perry discovered that not even trained therapists can get these kids to talk until they are ready.  You just have to give them time and space. Sometimes it means sitting or doing projects in total silence.  When they are ready to talk, they will talk. 

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Transform Your Mind PTWWNTV
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So I used that information and now when I sit with my husband,  I just let there be space and whenever he's ready to talk then he will talk. It's very uncomfortable for me because I like to talk.  But I did and so far this approach is working. We have had some good conversations from this approach.  

Communication,  is very important in a, marriage, because you have to communicate to fix problems. It is a man thing, they all shut down and go into their, man cave. In fact, marriage counselors,  say that the worst thing you can say to a man is “we need to talk”

Help me Makeover My Marriage and get my Husband out of his Man Cave

Michelle what was your experience with your, husband,  with, communication. Did he go in to a , man cave? 

Michelle –  First of all, we all have different temperaments and personalities,  my, husband, was more of a, phlegmatic. Phlegmatics have an unemotional and stolidly calm disposition.

So he was a laid-back, easygoing type of guy. 

It's been said that a woman speaks a thousand more words than the man so, I would just find something that interests him to talk about.  Most men don't analyze things the way we do and they're not as emotional as we are. We like to talk about everything and they don't always understand why we need to always be talking.

Myrna – So let's say that you wanted to talk to your, husband, about quality time, for example, or something that's going on in your, relationship,  did you start the conversation talking to him about something he likes to talk about and then kind of steer the conversation to quality time? 

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Michelle –  Our quality time was watching TV together or shopping for groceries. 

Myrna – Okay I was just using quality time as a placeholder for any conversation you want to have with your husband that was important. 

For example, once in a while I would  want to talk to my, husband, about where our, marriage, is going or where we see ourselves in 10 to 15 years from now, or something like that. 

I am a Life coach right and I want to steer the conversation in that direction my, husband, would push back and say you're not my coach!

So getting back to Hollis’s question. What advice would you give to move her, husband, out of his, man cave, and get him to open up? 

Husbands need to process things longer than Wives

Michelle – I would tell her that men have to process things, so I would give him time. 

If they had a conflict or something, men and women process differently.  Wives, want an answer right then while, husbands, might take a day or two to process before they want to discuss the situation. 

Myrna – I like that answer, give them time to process.  I would add give them space to process.  Don’t go into their, man cave, and harass them.  Let them be until they are ready to come out. 

In the meantime don't withhold love or affection. 

Even though we're not talking about a physical, man cave, even though some men have a physical space they hide out in, we are talking about going into the mental, man cave.  

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Conclusion Help me Makeover My Marriage 

In this premier episode of, Help me, makeover my marriage, we had a couple of questions and even though they might look different, they're both dealing with, communication, in your, marriage. 

Debbie didn't really communicate with her, husband, that she needed help around the house or that she needed him to pay her some attention,  she just built up animosity that he wasn't doing these things. 

Hollis wanted some information on, communication, with her husband once he's in his, man cave. What to do either to get him out of the, man cave, or prevent him from going into the, man cave. So, communication, is very important, marriage counselors, say that it is the top reason couples get divorced. 

I started off the segment talking about what we can as, wives, to change instead of asking God to change our, husbands. We need to learn to deal with our, husbands, according to knowledge.  If we know they don’t like to talk, then we should not push the issue.  Like I learned from Dr Perry, let them talk when they are ready. Even if they don't want to talk they have ears to listen. 

Remember to ask for what you want.  If you need help around the house, ask for help.  If you need affection, ask for it. 

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When you don’t ask for want you want or communicate your desires, then resentment builds up and the energy in the house changes. You can feel tension. If you have the intention to have peace in your home and to love and appreciate your, husband, he will feel that energy and your home will be peaceful and full of love. 

Thanks for reading this blog, listening or watching to the premier episode of “Help me make over my marriage”  I will post and air an episode once per month, please subscribe to the Transform Your Mind To Transform your Life podcast to get all new episodes in your inbox. 

Until next time Live Life to the Fullest. 

Additional Resources

The Best Marriage Advice for Wives to Fix a Broken Marriage

 

Gut Health: How to Prevent a Leaky Gut

Dr Bill Cole Leaky Gut

Our, gut, plays a role in weight loss, it plays a role in brain health. Eighty percent of our immune systems is in our, gut. So, if you want to be well you have to have a, healthy gut. Our, gut, acts as a barrier, it doesn't allow the bad stuff in and it doesn't allow the good stuff out until it's ready to be released.  But because we are exposed to things like antibiotics, not only through medications, but through the foods we eat, these things kill our microbiome, our good bacteria.

A, leaky gut, is where the lining of the, gut, has developed tiny, microscopic holes and now things like undigested food, bacteria, viruses, toxins are escaping into the bloodstream.

My guest today is Dr Bill Cole co-founder of Cellular Health Accelerator.  We are talking today on the topic of, gut health, how to prevent a, leaky gut.

Listen to full interview here: 

 

Introduction to Gut Health

I have a little bit of experience with the topic of, leaky gut, because I went through a couple of Dr Mark Hyman‘s trainings on, leaky gut.  Dr Hyman taught about probiotics and how some of the foods that we eat goes through the, gut lining, and the, gut brain barrier.

We're going to talking about more than, nutrition, we're going to be talking about how sleep and, stress, affect our, gut.

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Bio of Dr Bill Cole

Dr. Bill Cole, Founder of the Largest Functional Medicine Group of its kind, has created, The Cellular Health Accelerator Program, that helps people to feel well and age well. He has already helped to transform the lives of thousands and has spoken on stages across the nation.

Dr. Cole noted that recent research has shown that what people used to think was “normal aging” is actually caused by cumulative cellular damage that is causing premature aging.  Stress, poor sleep, unhealthy diet and environmental toxins, can lead to problems at the cellular level.

This knowledge inspired him to create and launch The, Cellular Health Accelerator Program. The 5-step plan is designed to help people increase their cellular energy and prevent, Leaky Gut, so that they can get through their days feeling healthy and strong, and have the energy they need to activate their own natural healing processes.

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Myrna – As an introductory question Dr Cole can you share with us your journey to becoming an expert on, cellular health, and, gut health.

How a Sick Friend opened a new path into Cellular Health

Dr Cole – I’d love to, back in 2001 I had already been in my own private practice for over 15 years, and I had taken on a partner who was one of my best friends. This man was a picture of health Myrna. He was a national level mountain bike competitor and he took great pride in not just talking the talk, but walking the walk. He was truly one of the healthiest people I've ever known.

Mysteriously, he started to lose his health. He was training for a mountain bike event and he noticed that his energy was starting to wane and it progressively got worse.

He came to my house one day and described it as brain issues and, gut, issues.  He continued to get worse to where he became nearly bedridden and started to entertain thoughts of suicide. He was trying every natural thing he could think of, every supplement.

Finally, this brilliant endocrinologist asked him a question.  He said have you ever investigated, mercury? My friend said I thought of, mercury, and I had a blood test done and it came back negative. The endocrinologist replied “blood test won't show, mercury,  you need to do this other test called a, urine toxic metal test.

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The Urine Toxic Metal Test

He did the, urine toxic metal test, and, mercury, was off the charts. So this endocrinologist asked him “did you have any work done on your teeth?” My friend had, silver fillings, and his symptoms started several days after because the, mercury, fillings was leaking.

That, mercury, went up into his brain then to his, gut, his thyroid and his adrenals.  That is why he was sick. Once they started treating the, mercury, toxin my friend started getting his health back.

At the time we had one of the largest chiropractic clinics in the state of Pennsylvania, if not the country, but it really geared us both towards this idea that there are other things happening from a, cellular, perspective in his case it was the brain cell.

Mercury poisoning sets up a Leaky Gut

Myrna – I actually heard about the, mercury, situation from Tony Robbins. He  had a similar story to your friend where he started to have no energy and almost couldn’t walk.  Which was a total shock to him and family because Tony is used to being high energy at his events for 14 hours straight.  They found out he had, mercury, poisoning from eating too much Tuna.

The question I want to ask you is when the, mercury, seeped into from the teeth of your of your friend into his brain, how did it get to his, gut, and became, leaky gut?

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Dr Cole – We must understand first of all that the, gut, is made of cells. Our whole body is made of, cells. It would be important to know that when we're talking about, silver fillings, that you know that those, silver fillings, are called, amalgam fillings. Dental amalgam, is a dental filling material used to fill cavities caused by tooth decay.

Dental amalgam is a mixture of metals, consisting of liquid, mercury, and a powdered alloy composed of silver, tin, and copper. Approximately half (50%) of, dental amalgam, is elemental, mercury, by weight. The chemical properties of elemental, mercury, allow it to react with and bind together the silver/copper/tin alloy particles to form an amalgam.

Dental amalgam fillings, are often referred to as, silver fillings, because of their silver-like appearance, although the use of this term in not recommended because the term does not correctly explain the materials in, amalgam.

The Gut Brain Connection

As it relates to the, gut, our brain and our, gut, are connected. They're connected over the longest nerve in our body called the, Vagus Nerve.  So there's this, gut, brain connection. My friend he had no and never had any issues with his, gut, but once this happened with his brain now all of a sudden, he couldn't eat certain foods. He would have sensitivities in his, gut, he was bloated all of the time. He had alternating bouts of constipation and diarrhea so his, gut, was severely damaged.

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Here is an analogy we can utilize to gain understanding. Let’s say you have a river that's flowing by your house, you might start to see the fish in the river die and your solution might be to put more fish into the river, but if the problem is 20 miles upstream where there's a chemical company dumping let's say, mercury, into the river we can change the fish all day long.

But if we don't get upstream to where that problem's coming from, we're really only treating symptoms.  A lot of people are doing just that. They're dealing with just the, gut, but it may be upstream too.

Stress and a Leaky Gut

How does poor sleep, stress, and an unhealthy diet including environmental toxins lead to problems at the cellular level?

Three Types of Stress

Dr Cole – Let’s look at, stress, first. If you ask the average person about, stress, they think of, emotional stress.  Like marital problems, work problems or financial problems; but there's really three types of, stress:

  • Physical stress
  • Chemical stress
  • and Emotional stress
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Physical stress, could be from an automobile accident and people’s health is never the same after that, physical stress.

Chemical stress, is the big one where toxins come into play. We have and onslaught of chemicals that we're dealing with daily in our lives that are creating damage to our, cells. But we're finding out that these chemicals are doing even more than that. They are turning on our bad genes.

Toxins in Beauty Products that cause a Leaky Gut

I just was recently reading a study from the environmental working group. They looked at 12 different beauty products and these products had over 168 different toxins in them and that's just in the beauty products.

What we're seeing today in terms of these unexplainable types of illnesses is lack of sleep is causing, stress. Our body repairs itself during sleep, if we're not getting adequate sleep which is pretty common in our society, they're not going to be repairing the way that they should.  There's something called the, glymphatic system, most people have heard of the, lymphatic system.

The, glymphatic system, is really an accumulation of different vessels that help cleanse our central nervous system. Our brain is active at nighttime when we're sleeping. It cleanses out the impurities in our body, so if we're not getting adequate sleep that can impact that connection between the brain and the, gut.

The, urine toxic metal test, can detect these toxins but as far as the, leaky gut, there really is no specific test for that.

There are over 1600 medical studies they refer to it as intestinal permeability, we're calling it, leaky gut, it's the same thing.

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How the Cellular Health Accelerator program helps Prevent a Leaky Gut

I know that you've got a solution and part of your solution is your program that you developed called, cellular health accelerator program.  Can you tell us about that program?

Dr Cole – I would like to preface that question by just giving a little understanding of our, cells.  We're made of, cells, every tissue organ and gland are, cells. We can think of ourselves like bricks in a building. The difference though is that our bricks our, cells, are alive.

No matter what's happening disease-wise, it's always traceable back to something gone wrong at that, cell, level. So if a person wants to be well, they have to fix their, cells.

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We approach it from something called the five R's of cellular healing:

  1. Remove the source to the damage. Remove the mercury and other toxins.
  2. You have to regenerate the, cell membrane that is damaged. There's going to be certain techniques we use like consuming healthy fats like extra virgin olive oil, virgin coconut oil, eating grass-fed beef and wild salmon. These foods will help heal our, cells.
  3. We have to restore energy. A person who barely has enough energy to make it through the day don’t have the reserve energy to heal there, cells. We need to understand why the cell is not producing enough of that gasoline called ATP.
  4. Reduce inflammation, sugar is driving inflammation. We've got to eliminate those sources.
  5. Re-establish methylation. I won't get lost in the weeds here but most sick people don't have enough what are called methyl groups. They're carbon and hydrogen groups without them they can't detoxify, they can't make energy, they can't heal. So we have to reestablish that methylation.  We give them certain nutrients like methylated folate or methylated B12 that will help them to methylate.

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What are the symptoms of a Leaky Gut?

Let's get to the, leaky gut.  You talked about whatever comes upstream comes into your, gut. Your, gut, is made of, cells, but how can people understand what the symptoms are for a, leaky gut.

Dr Cole – I realized that most disease that we see has some basis or at least some connection to an unhealthy, gut.  We know that the, gut, microbiome is an accumulation of bacteria.  This environment in our, gut, made of bacteria outnumber the, cells, in our body by at least ten to one.

Our, gut, plays a role in weight loss, it plays a role in brain health. Eighty percent of our immune systems is in our, gut. So, if you want to be well you have to have a, healthy gut. Our, gut, acts as a barrier, it doesn't allow the bad stuff in and it doesn't allow the good stuff out until it's ready to be released.  But because we are exposed to things like antibiotics not only through medications but through the foods we eat, these things kill our microbiome our good bacteria.

A, leaky gut, is where the lining of the, gut, has developed tiny, microscopic holes and now things like undigested food, bacteria, viruses, toxins are escaping into the bloodstream.

Well, the response from that is your body will go on high alert right and the immune system must destroy these things.  The problem with that is every meal every day the immune system is on high alert. Eventually it goes haywire, and it begins looking at other parts of our body that are normal as abnormal and then we wind up with autoimmune disease.

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Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

How to Prevent a Leaky gut

How can we prevent a, leaky gut?

Dr Cole – The first thing that we have to do if we're using utilizing my 5R’s is going to be that source thing.  We want to make sure that we're consuming foods that are going to aid in the development of good health and does not promote bad health.

If you can afford organic, you really should do that. The average apple for instance has has four different pesticides.  We must eliminate what we can like aluminum in our deodorant.

The second thing is going to be eating whole foods.  We must eliminate man-made foods that are pre-packaged and that are full of sugars and bad fats.  We need to focus on whole foods and that that's going to be whole grains. Grass-fed meats, wild salmon versus farm salmon.  You want pastured eggs and chickens that are actually allowed to roam in the grass and eat bugs, not kept four to six in a cage where they take their beaks off because they'll peck each other to death and given daily doses of antibiotics.

If they want a, healthy gut, they've got to put healthy things into their gut.

We need to create an anti-inflammatory environment in the body that supports health, that supports cellular healing.

Tell our listeners and those watching on TV how they can get access to your, cellular health accelerator program, and connect with you on social media.

Your audience can connect with me on Facebook and Instagram @ Cellular Health Accelerator but they could also go to my website which is www.drbillcole.com.

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Conclusion

I want to thank you all for tuning in to the, transform your mind, to transform your life blog. Today we hoped to, transform your mind, on the importance of, gut health, the importance of sleep and the importance of distressing your body. We all think, stress, is just, emotional stress, but, stress, can also be, physical stress, and, chemical stress.

I want to invite you guys all to join my Facebook group which is called “life coach” and if you're listening to this on a podcast, I would appreciate if you can rate and review as well as subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/5-questions-ask-before-going-with-gut-feeling/

Why is Renewing Your Mind Important?

Renew Your Mind Dr Glover

When we talk about the, renewing of the mind, it is not simply about changing or adjusting how you think, but renewing your sense of, self-consciousness. Renewing your mind, impacts your conscience, which is your sense of what is right and wrong. It impacts your heart, which in Hebrew literature is the center of your being.

Renewing your mind, runs much deeper than simply making confessions and changing how you think upon a thing.  Apostle Paul teaches “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind”

Pastor William L Glover speaks on the biblical principles of what God meant when He said “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Listen to the full interview here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/8876218

 

Pastor Glover just completed a powerful series on, renewing the mind, it was a four part series, you can watch the full series on the Mount Hermon Ministries YouTube Channel. But today we're going to pick some of the important pieces of that, renewing your mind, series to share with you.

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Bio and Intro for Pastor William L Glover

Dr. William L. Glover is the Senior Pastor of Mount Hermon Ministries. He also oversees the Dew of Hermon Early Learning Center and is Campus Director of Life Christian University at Mount Hermon Ministries. He has a strong mandate for Education, Missions, Leadership Development, Justice Ministry and reaching the lost for Christ.

Having ministered in nine different countries on 29 international trips, Dr. Glover is an anointed teacher, preacher, and international speaker. He has assembled ministry and medical teams that have seen thousands of souls saved and thousands more received desperately needed medical care.  His passion is to reach the globe, but God has fashioned his heart in the shape of Africa.

Through Mount Hermon Ministries, he is very involved in reaching his community through educational empowerment.  He is a founding board member of L.I.F.E (Lee Interfaith for Empowerment), a Network of Congregations committed to finding solutions to systemic justice issues in Lee County; is an Executive Board Member of Healthy Lee, a group of faith, business and health professions committed to inspiring healthy life styles, and chairs the Religious Affairs Committee of the local branch of the NAACP. Dr. Glover is also Co-Founder (with Pastor Cheryl Glover) of Redeeming Influence Community Outreach, a non-profit that serves blighted communities.

Dr. Glover has earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Bible and Theology from Southeastern University (formally Bible College), a Master of Arts degree in Religion from Florida State University, a Master of Education degree in counseling from Florida A & M University, and his Doctor of Ministry degree in Theology from Life Christian University.

Dr. Glover is also the author of the three books: Justice: God, Nations, and Systems, which examines the role of faith in addressing systemic justice issues which plague the systems of men; 30 Days of Excellence, a daily devotional that focuses on cultivating a culture of excellence in Faith, in Speech and in Life; and Ready for the Harvest, a study on how to release the principle of seedtime and harvest into your life.

Book: Ready for the Harvest Transform Your Mind Podcast
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Dr. Glover is married to Pastor Cheryl Glover. Four wonderful adult children enhance their lives: Brittney, Jade, Jana and William II. Dr. Glover credits God for His demonstration of goodness and continues to trust in His faithfulness throughout his Pastoral Ministry.

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What Does God Mean By Renewing the Mind

Myrna – My first question to you Pastor Glover  is why did why do you think God wanted you to preach on, renewing your mind?

Pastor Glover – that's an excellent question Myrna. I ended the 2020 year with a series of messages entitled, living in your redemption. The idea being that God had already paid the price for redemption and that he's redeemed our lives from destruction.

Whatever destruction has occurred in our lives, be it:

  • personal,
  • financial,
  • relational
  • emotional
  • mental

 

God has already invested in the price to redeem and restore us from that destruction. That message was received so well that I began to contemplate well how do I get people to embrace that, mindset, and the, renewing your mind, messages were born. If a person can hear something, but if it's not internalized and if it's not received, then it's not going to have an impact on their lives.

So that series of, renewing your mind, messages was born out of that realization of moving people from the point of where they are, to living in the redemption and, renewing their minds.

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Renewing Your Mind: the 3 parts of your mind

Myrna – you talked about the three different parts of the, mind, that God wants renewed.

Can you share with us the three different parts of the, mind?

Pastor Glover – Sure there are different aspects to each individual sermon, but the broad overview is the reason the, mind, is important is found in the wisdom literature. Scripture reveals that the, mind, is connected to and influences:

  • our psyche
  • our conscious
  • and our heart

 

When we talk about, renewing of the mind, it is not simply about changing or adjusting how you think, but it impacts your sense of, self-consciousness. It impacts your, conscience, which is your sense of what is right and wrong. It impacts your heart, which in Hebrew literature is the center of your being.

So, renewing your mind, runs much deeper than simply making confessions and changing how you think upon a thing.  Apostle Paul teaches “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the, renewing of your mind”

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Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

There are 3 action verbs in this sentence.

  • transformed
  • renewing of the mind
  • conformed

 

One is internal and one is external.  It impacts our, psyche, our consciousness, and our heart.  So it is the, transformation, of the total person, the total being.

 

What is the Flexible mind, the Fluid Mind and the Fixed Mind?

We need to have a conversation about what kind of, mindset, you are working with.

  • Is your, mindset, flexible?
  • Is your, mindset, fluid?
  • Or do you have a, fixed mindset? Which could be good or bad depending on what it's fixed on.

When we talk about the, psyche, the, psyche, being your sense of, self-consciousness. Why do we need, renewing of your mind, in your sense of, self-consciousness? Because it's our sense of awareness, our sense of, self-worth. It also is our mental and emotional health, so if your, mind, is not flexible, you need work in your sense of awareness.

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The Flexible Mindset

Some people who are not self-aware or there's some people who suffer from, low self-esteem, or there's some people who are damaged mentally and emotionally. If you don’t have a, flexible mindset, which means pliable then you will resist God doing the eternal work in your, psyche, to, transform your mind.  So, in order for, transformation, to occur you have to have a, flexible mindset.

 

There can be no, transformation, if you're unwilling to change.

The Fluid Mindset

Conversely a, fluid mindset, means that you are evolving, you are open to change. If you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you internalize and have what some call “stinking thinking.” You have a toxic, mindset, about yourself or about people. For instance oftentimes when people experience hurt in a relationship, they'll say I’ll never trust another man again or I’ll never trust another woman again.

 

So, if you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you're not willing to let that hurt go and embrace truth.

 

The Fixed Mindset

The third, mindset, you mentioned was a, fixed mindset. Just like when we lay concrete, we have to do the work before the concrete sets, because once it sets it's fixed. So, we have to be careful what we let set in our minds. We have to do the work while the concrete is fluid and pliable.

 

A, fixed mindset, is like set concrete.

 

Renewing the mind, is like renovation of a house. You’ve got to rip out things, knock down walls or beliefs before you can put in the new things or new learnings.

 

When we're inviting God to, transform your mind, then we have to understand our, psyche, our, self-consciousness, and our heart. That's why the, mind, is so important because it is connected to all of these aspects of the human person and they're all interrelated yet distinct.

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The Fixed Mindset is Like Concrete

Myrna – Someone with a, fixed mindset, like concrete why did you say that God can use this person?

In the, Life coaching, world, when we talk about a, fixed mindset, we're saying that there’s no growth in this person. But if your, mind, is set like concrete, is it possible for it to be changed?

Pastor Glover – Well yes but again you must have awareness of your, fixed mindset. You can get at that concrete two different ways. Through, transformation, which speaks to internal work that has to be done. The word, transformation, comes from the Greek word metamorphosis and so that speaks of going through a, transformation, but it starts from the inside out.

 

The other word that's used is, renewing, which literally has to do with renovating. When concrete sets, the only way to change it is to get a jackhammer and that's very painful work. People oftentimes will not choose to do that work, because it is painful, noisy, and messy. But if you're going to lay a new foundation in your life, you must do the, mental, emotional and spiritual work to jackhammer a, fixed mindset.

 

Myrna – How can God jackhammer to change that, fixed mindset?

 

Fixed mindset in  marital relationships

Pastor Glover – I think an example in the context of, relationships, particularly in the context of, marital relationships, a lot of work that has to be jackhammered in counseling sessions really has to do those, fixed mindsets, about marriage that have been set, but are toxic and are not healthy.

Couples have very different ideas about the foundation of a, marriage, and what it should be about. It is really about how men and women are socialized in our society. Young girls are socialized towards inter interdependent relationships. That's means they play together, they share much more readily than men do.  They are invested in group success as they are reared and everybody kind of having a good time.

Boys are socialized totally different. They are taught to stand on your own two feet, be independent. Be a man, don't share your emotions. So, men are much less equipped than women in, marital relationships, to handle a, fixed mindset, that's why women are 10 times more verbal than men.

One of the fun exercises I like to do when I’m dealing with, communication, is I’ll ask the man and the woman to get a sheet of paper and have each one writes me all the feeling words they are aware of. The woman's list is four times longer than the man,

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How can God Use a Fixed Mindset?

I’m curious though you also say in your message that God can use a, fixed mindset.

Pastor Glover – When you lay concrete, it's properly set, it is suitable for what you want to build on it. So, let's pull in this conversation, purpose and destiny. If you have great purpose or great destiny, you have to take the time to lay the foundation. If your foundation is fixed, God can build on it.

 

People do not take the time to factor in the type of foundation they need to lay to accommodate their dreams and visions of what they want. That can be applied to anything, in my book “30 Days of Excellence”  I teach that excellence is in the foundation that you lay for, purpose and destiny.

 

Be ye not conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

 

Why did God say that do not be transformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind?

The World is Battling for your Mind

Pastor William L Glover – Because it is all a battle for the, mind. This simple principle is found in Proverbs.

 

“As a man thinketh so is he”

  • Your, mindset, determines the reflection of who you are and it determines who you will be.
  • We would never be greater than our thoughts about things.
  • We would never rise above our thoughts about things.
  • We will never allow ourselves to be pulled beneath our thoughts about things.
  • Our thoughts reflect where we are going.

 

It's a battle for your, mind. The world we live in today, people don't want to do the work, to think for themselves. There is professional, think tanks, and these, think tanks, think for people and feed them what to believe, what to say.

 

They all are vying for our, minds, we don't tune in to learn anymore from the news,  we tune in to determine what we need to think. So, hence “do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the, renewing of your mind.

That, transformation,

  • happens through the word of God,
  • that transformation happens through your relationship with God
  • that transformation happens through a community of faith like-minded believers who are committed to growth.

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Transformation is from the heart.

Your, heart, which is the center of your being, the seat of your soul and this is important because wisdom literature teaches us that we should guard your heart for from it flow the issues of life.

Everything that matters, that's important to us impacts our, heart.  If the, heart, is injured, broken or unhealthy because the, heart, plumps the pumps the blood. The, heart, pumps the influence of that thing to your spirit and to your soul and to your body.

So, when we talk about the, transformation, then it's holistic and God is always at work in our lives trying to move us to a place of wholeness in all three of these areas as it pertains to renewal and, transformation.

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Conclusion

As we wrap up how can listeners connect with Mt Hermon Ministries Fort Myers? Tell us about your books and how we can connect on social media.

You can connect with our ministry, we are currently streaming on YouTube and Facebook at MT Hermon Ministries. You can join us Sundays at 11 a.m. you can go to our website.

https://www.mthermonministries.org/ to get some information on our ministry.

 

I am the author of three books:

https://www.amazon.com/JUSTICE-Nations-William-L-Glover/dp/0982910592

  • The justice book which is about your community of faith finding relative relevance as a

change agent in your community

  • 30 Days of Excellence which is a 30-day devotion that cultivates habits of excellence in your life and
  • Ready for the Harvest which teaches us how to apply the principle of seed time and harvest in our lives and all these can be found on Amazon.

You can contact me personally at dr.wmglover0613@gmail.com

My Spiritual Father Helped in the Renewing of My Mind

I enjoyed the conversation, so thank you like we've known each other for 14 years let me also state how proud I am of you forging the way.  I remember when you began this journey and witnessing your evolution and growth.  Witnessing how God is enlarging your territory, makes me very proud.  I want to encourage you to continue that journey.

Myrna –  Thank you Pastor and I’ll share something publicly with you that when I wrote my book and you said that you're proud of me, it brought tears to my eyes because it was the first

Time someone told me that. My father had never said he was proud of me.

As my spiritual father thank you so much for saying that I appreciate it. God sent me to you specifically I didn't share our story of how I came to be under your guidance, but our connection has a purpose.

Thank you for tuning in to the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life radio podcast and television show.  If you are um listening on iTunes I would love for you to subscribe, rate and review.  I also want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach.

 

Until next time sending you all Blessings

Additional Resources

How to Reprogram your Unconscious Mind