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How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

fly like an eagle

Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.

Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life,  to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life,  to elevate your life to greater heights.

In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like,  eagles in a storm.  Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.

Introduction 

Here are some characteristics of the, Eagle:

How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life 

The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It’s mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.

The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.

When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life,  like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.

The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ,  enables us to ride the,  winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.

Eagles, in the, Storm

1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life,  to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

Storms, bring destruction

I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?

My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can’t fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.

What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?

The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.

It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!

I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.

The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.

How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.

Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink

But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24

Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.

“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)

Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?

Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.

The,  storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!

Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!

Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.

1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ,  tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)

2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.

3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.

4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.

Maybe you could benefit from a Training Kit that teaches you how to Maximize your achievement and Fly above the storms. Click below to order The Maximum Achievement Training Kit from best selling author Brian Tracy.

 

5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/

 

 

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Life Coaching part 1: Who am I

In order to make permanent changes in your life, the first question you must ask is, who am I?  This question allows you to understand yourself and why you came into this body.

As a, Life coach, I want to share with you a , life coaching session, Life Coaching Part 1: Who am I,  from my 6-week Life coaching workshop.

We can never become who we were meant to be unless we can first recognize who we are by asking the question, who am I.

To know thyself is to grow thyself

So let’s dive right in.

First a little about, who I am.

I am a certified, Life coach, specializing in Mindset and consciousness. In 2012 I wrote my first book “Becoming conscious, my awakening” because I started to understand, who I am. In this episode I will take you through the process of discovering Who you are, be asking the question, who am I.

If you like this content please share with your friends and remember to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast. Thank you

Life coach Myrna Young, who am I
Life coach Myrna Young, who am I

Who am I, What are my deepest and truest values?

Your deepest values are the ones no one can move you off of. Your deepest values are the ones that if not met, hurt the most. Your truest values are the ones that make you cry.

Your deepest value could be that you would never hit your child. You were abused as a child and you vowed never to hit your child; but you get married and your spouse believes in spanking. He or she believes the bible that says spare the rod and spoil the child. So, your spouse spanks your child. It hurts you so much that you are forced to file for a divorce. Irreconcilable Differences!

Another example to find out, who am I, could be that you were brought up that nice girls do not have sex before marriage. It is a deal breaker in all your relationships. Your dates either leave you or they cheat on you; but you can’t bring yourself to have premarital sex. It is one of your deepest and truest values. As a result, you are single and unmarried at 40 years old.

Your deepest values are found by asking the question, who am I. It could be about how you feel about charity. I never pass someone on the street begging. I feel it is a blessing to have a dollar to give. My husband on the other hand, feels that everybody can find a job, and only the worthless people stand at the corner and beg. That is his deepest value and this is mine.

Your deepest value could take the form of image and by asking, who am I. You may be willing to endure a passionless marriage if it gives you status in your community. There are lots of big houses with white picket fences that house very unhappy families.

One of my deepest values was on domestic abuse. My ex-husband slapped me and I divorced him. Simple as that! My value took the form that I would never become a battered woman. I didn’t have to ask the question, who am I.  I knew that if he hit me once he would hit me again. My daughter was 5 years old at the time. Most women would have a value in giving their children a family with a mom and dad. But mine was more self-centered. Nobody should judge your deepest values. They are yours. You must know them and accept them. They make you who you are. A unique being!

Who am I, do I believe in One True Love?

Your truest value could be found by also asking, who am I. How do you love and receive love?
Do you believe that you could only love one person and there is only one true love for you? What happens if you get a divorce or your spouse dies? Does that mean that love is over for you?
How do you receive love?

I heard a story once about a woman who would ask her husband every day if he loved her. He would say of course I love you honey. Yet she did not believe him and would ask him again the next day. She felt love by how much attention she received from her husband. As her insecurities grew she required more and more attention. The marriage ended in divorce.

Your deepest value could be on why you feel you are on this earth, in this body. Do you take the time to consider your purpose and your legacy?

Who am I, What are my preferences and priorities?

Who am I, What kind of house would I like to live in.
What country would I like to live in if I had a choice. Do I prefer beach front, mountain view or lots of trees and greenery? Visualize yourself sitting on the porch of this house.

Who am I, how do I like my men? Do I like them tall, dark and handsome? or am I looking for the spiritual connection and don’t care what form the package takes?

What kinds of music do I like? What kinds of music transports me to a good place?

What are my preferences during sex? Do I like it with the lights on or off?

What forms of entertainment do I prefer? Do I like the movies, going dancing or staying at home with a good book?

If I didn’t have to work, what would I do?

Who are my priorities in Life? Do my children come first, my spouse or God?
Do I make healthy eating and exercise a priority or do I never have time to get to it?

Who am I, What genuinely makes me happy?

I love walking in the park and listening to podcasts and books about successful people in life.

I love listening to the rain and the sounds of the ocean.

Ask yourself , who am I, and put your list of preferences on paper.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Who am I, What are my subconscious patterns and ways of reacting?

How do I react when I feel rejected?

  • Do I seek revenge?
  • Do I get even or do I eat a pint of ice-cream?
    How do I look at the world?
  • Do I see abundance or do I see scarcity?
  • Do you feel jealous when your friends get a promotion or find love?
  • Are you glad for them or do you secretly hope they fail? No judgment just understanding.

 

Who am I, If you are happy for your friends, you are attracting abundance into your life. If you are jealous, you are saying that there is not enough to go around and you feel they have taken your share. So, you have a spirit of lack and that will not bring you abundance.

Who am I, What are your triggers?

Ask yourself? When do I pick up the phone and call my old lovers?
Is my trigger when I can’t get my lover on the phone and I think he or she is cheating on me?

I am one of those people who don’t bear malice. That means that I get angry for a few days and then I forgive. Unless it is the third time. I have a 3-strike rule!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio
Who am I, What do you Fear

As a Life coach, I ask my clients, what do they fear?  

This is an important workshop. Fears are bottom feeders. Fears keep you at the tail and not the head of the table. If you have fears, you must face them and replace them.
Fear can also keep you bound in a bad or abusive relationship.

Here are some common fears:

  • Do you fear getting old?
  • Do you fear being alone?
  • Do you fear being homeless?
  • Do you fear getting fat?
  • Do you fear your spouse would leave you?
  • Do you fear losing your job?
  • Do you fear death?

Fear is an energy. Thoughts are the most powerful energy force in the universe.
Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of negative thoughts is fear.
It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
When you live in fear, you feel bad all the time.
If you allow fear to linger in your body and in your mind. It will not only attract the thing you fear the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to negative thoughts and emotions.
Negative thoughts transform your body into an acidic state.
In fear mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell.

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-overcome-fear-and-find-joy-part-1-the-energy-of-fear/

Today I want to teach you how to use positive energy to clear the negative energies of fear. But first I want to touch on one of the spiritual laws of the universe. i.e The Law of Sowing and Reaping.
We all know of the physical laws like gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the Law of Sowing and Reaping can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way means that whatever you plant in your mind you will manifest in your physical world.

Just like planting an apple tree.
In the spiritual world,
The soil is your mind.
The seeds are your thoughts.
The water are your actions.
And the sun is your feelings.

If you allow fear to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.

Energy flows where attention goes.

Whatever you focus on expands.
Everything is energy and all energy attracts similar energy.
You can’t put out negative energy and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can’t focus on what you fear and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal law of reaping and sowing it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.

These are six words you must stamp on your mind.

“You become what you think about”

When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
So, write down something that is opposite of what you fear and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your fear.
Since light conquers darkness it will eventually have your fear for lunch!

This means whatever you fear you will attract. So, if you fear being alone that is what you will be, alone. If you fear your spouse will leave you, be prepared for that reality. It is very very important to replace your fears with your desires.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Conclusion Life coaching session, Who am I

As we wrap up this episode, let’s recap
Ask yourself these questions:
Who am I?
What are my deepest values. What do I care about the most?
What are my preferences and priorities?
Who and what is important to me?
What makes me happy. What images make me cry?
How do I react to things or people who hurt me?
What do I fear the most?

As a certified Mindset Coach, I have designed a 6 Part Coaching program that starts off by bringing clarity to Who You Are because that is how you show up in your personal interactions.

Additional Resources 

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

 

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How to Plan Fund Build Your Dream Life

The path to Financial Freedom

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren

Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission.  Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?

Nathan – There are so many lessons that I’ve learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.

On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world.  The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.

I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation.   When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it.  I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life,  when they are in need.

You need Money to live your, dream life

When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they’re not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they’ll be happy and start living their, dream life.

Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you’re on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.

Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?

Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old.  I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want?  This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.

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Some tools to visualize your, Dream Life

Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself.  Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern.  I’ll walk round the block or sometimes I’ll walk for miles and I’ll just say okay “Nathan what’s going on, talk to me” then I’ll talk right back.

Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.

We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?

Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind.  Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way  of figuring out who you are.  What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you’re walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can’t leave you; because it is who you are.

I really resonate with your Life coaching package,  where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program  is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity.  One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.

End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams

Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there’s a beautiful window and you’re looking out through the window.

  • You’re on a comfortable couch and you’re drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you’re in your last days let’s say you’re 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you’ve met, and that you’ve connected with.
  • You look back and you’re feeling wonderful and you’re feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
  • Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
  • You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

I’m very grateful for the time I’ve had here; but at the same time if I could go back,  I would be a little bit more courageous.  Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more.  I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams.  That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.

Myrna – Nice that’s a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test.  What is the goal of it exercise?

Failure at living your, dream life.

Nathan – There are a few goals:

  1. One is obviously to get perspective,
  2. Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don’t have the confidence to do.
  3. Take away the fear of taking risks

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Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you’re a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.

Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life

Nathen – My life’s mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I’ve cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.

One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.

Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you’re five steps ahead, is a great way that I’ve learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.

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Visualizing your, Dream Life

Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step,  because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do.  I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don’t know what that is, we have to connect with God.

We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don’t consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.

  • What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
  • Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
  • Your preference is ‘No I can’t have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
  • Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don’t care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that’s what matters to me.
  • So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
  • You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.

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What’s under the hood of your, dream life.

Your non-negotiables may be your purpose.  The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.

Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.

Myrna – I know that you have a course  called Dream University. It’s an online course and you say it’s not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.

How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life

Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business.  The process that I’m kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.

The course basically step one is you say okay

  • ‘I’m going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I’m going to figure my life out.
  • I’m going to take some breathing room and I’m going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
  • What’s going to light me up inside?
  • What’s going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.

Once we we’ve really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It’s a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don’t know how I’m going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.

I’ll be the happiest person in the entire world. That’s the idea, you have one page, you look at, you’re like that’s it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I’m going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I’m going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.

How to get Funding for your, Dream Business

  • Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don’t need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.

This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.

So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?

Some people want to live very simply, some people don’t want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)

  • Step three is to grow and at that point it’s just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.

So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.

Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.

If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv  Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.

Conclusion to building and funding your, dream life

Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams.  That starts in your head.  You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.

I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna  and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:

Your Subscription helps to reach a wider audience. You know, we want to help.

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

Successful But Unfulfilled? How to Get Back to Basics

 

Posted on

A New Business Strategy: Increasing Your Capacity

Business strategy vs capacity

As a Business Coach, I kept getting clients who kept hitting a plateau with, business strategy.  They hired experts to help them figure out the right business model,  to surpass this plateau or ceiling; but they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.~~~Lisa Fabrega

In this interview I speak with  to Lisa Fabrega, leadership coach on the topic It’s not your, business strategy, it’s your, capacity.

Listen to Full Interview 

Introduction to Capacity

Myrna – What I love about this topic is references one of my favorite quotes

You are the Lid! You can only  go as far as your, capacity, for growth.

So the headline It’s not your, business strategy, it is your, capacity, for growth resonates with me.

Lisa as a Business coach, How did you stumble on the concept that what’s was holding your clients back was not their, business strategy, or goals but their, capacity?

Lisa – Great question I stumbled upon this concept very early on in my coaching practice.

I was actually was a health coach working with clients on nutrition.   I noticed from my first couple of clients weren’t talking about food, instead it was their, capacity, was the focus.

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My clients were very ambitious and had already achieved a lot and yet they were hitting a plateau or something wasn’t working anymore.  They couldn’t figure out what it was even though they were very smart people, so they’d throw a bunch of, business strategy, at the problem.

When, business strategy, didn’t work, they would hire experts to figure out the right business model,  to surpass this plateau or ceiling.  But they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.

Four years ago I had a, capacity, issue. My coaching packages were sold out, I had a huge wait list.  I was overwhelmed with requests and I didn’t have the, capacity, for it at the time.  One thing I always say to my clients is if Oprah called you tomorrow, are you ready?  Do you have the, capacity, to handle that influx of new business?

I thought this must be a, business strategy, problem instead of diagnosing it correctly that I had a, capacity, issue.  I couldn’t hold handle or receive what was coming my way on many levels, so I went and invested a ton of money in a new, business strategy, and a funnel and I ended up a hundred thousand dollars in debt.

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Myrna –  I would make the same decision. I immediately would think I needed to add more staff or something that’s probably what you did right?

Lisa –  I added more staff,  I hired a huge expansion team, I started a whole new funnel!  It was the most stressful year of my life because I did not sleep that entire year.  I was so stressed out about the money and the debt.

After doing some real deep self-reflection about what actually caused that problem,  I started to noticing my conversations with my clients who also had, business strategy, issues. I realized that It was not a, business strategy, issue but a, capacity, issue.

Myrna – Obviously you need, business strategy; but you also need the, capacity, to get there; so how did you transition your clients to look at their, capacity, not their, business strategy?

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Six areas of building capacity

Lisa – I realized that there are six areas of, capacity. I  drilled it down to six because everything kind of falls under these, capacity, areas that we tend to struggle with as ambitious and successful people.

  • Money capacity – What’s your, money capacity? Score yourself from zero to ten. Are you earning enough,  saving and investing larger and larger amounts of money every year?  If you answered No, then ask yourself why not?
  • Visibility capacity – visibility capacity is your ability to allow all of you to be fully seen in your work. So many people hide little bits of themselves from their brand and from their clients and then end up with a misalignment. A lot of my women clients who come to me and tell me they’re drained, it’s not that they’re overworked or have the wrong, business strategy; the burnout is not because of that, it’s because they’re hiding these parts of themselves and it’s so exhausting to have to constantly hide and not be transparent.
  • Purpose capacity – purpose capacity is when your inside matches your outside. Your, business strategy,  is lined up with your true purpose. You can’t start a business just because it has the potential to make you lots of money.  Your business must also line up with your values and purpose.
  • Embodiment capacity – embodiment capacity is your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical capacity.  If you were to get up on a stage in front of a thousand people and it drains the life force out of you  to the  point that you’re exhausted and have to recover for two days, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.  If somebody leaves a nasty comment on your Instagram post and you are just like freaked out and hiding for two weeks, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.
  • Structural capacity – I call this also your foundation capacity. What are the foundations that are holding you up or lifting you up to your next level? What systems or, business strategy, do you have at home, or at work to hold you up?
  • Boundary capacity – boundary capacity is about being clear about who you are. It’s not just boundaries with other people, it’s boundaries with yourself; because sure you could work 10 hours today but is actually going to serve where you’re going? Should you instead get some rest?  That’s setting a boundary with yourself.

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How to Expand your Capacity: your New Business Strategy

Myrna – What can women do to expand their capacity for growth, wealth and success?

Lisa –  It starts with knowing how they score on the  six capacities.

It will tell you what the real problem is because the biggest roadblock we experience when trying to expand our, capacity, is that we misdiagnose the actual problem.

If women don’t get clear and score themselves in these areas, they might think they have a structural issue or a strategic issue and don’t realize that it’s actually a, money capacity.

Why does our energy level affect our Capacity

Myrna – One of the things I wanted to ask you about is this, embodiment capacity.  You said  we can subconsciously drain our energy and power thus lowering our, capacity; explain that a little.

Lisa – I think that some of the ways that we unconsciously drain our power is through what I call emotional labor.  Women particularly do this a lot and that’s actually part of an, embodiment capacity, issue.  I have a great example. One of my clients told her husband would ask her every week after she would put the towels away, where’s the such-and-such towel and she’d say “it’s in the closet with the towels”  and he would say. “I don’t see it”  and she’d have to walk over to the closet and the towel would be right there.

This went on every week until she told him she was not doing any more emotional labor, that he can find the damm towel himself, she was no longer going to get up from what she was doing to find the towel for him.

This is a great example of tiny ways that we do emotional labor without realizing that we are being drained. These little leaks, I call them little power leaks leave you exhausted.  You wonder why you’re exhausted and burned out and it has nothing to do with your, business strategy, we have to be mindful of our energy. It’s being drained from emotional labor with our family, friends and even clients.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Tim Trilioni is a New Orleans Native who’s grown up literally most of his life around all genres
and music forms. He fell in love with Jazz music from a young age performing at local jazz
clubs, churches and events. As an artist, Tim Trilioni does not feel artists should put boundaries
on their musical expression and it shows in his work. He loves Afro Beats and Kwaito. He is
currently discussing potential collaborations with artists from these genres in the near future.

Follow Tim on https://www.instagram.com/timtrilioni/

 

Myrna – So true, women especially the care-giving kind of woman are always doing things for other people and then they emotionally drain themselves and then they don’t have the energy to do anything for some themselves which is why the self-care movement is becoming so popular.

If you’re emotionally drained, it limits your, capacity,  we can’t operate within our full capacity if our battery is drained.

Four  keys to unlock Capacity: Your New Business Strategy 

  1. Pleasure – pleasure can be whatever it means to you, it could be taking a walk in the park, it could be taking a break, getting in the tub, getting some nice smelling lotion and rubbing it on your hands. Making sure to have those pleasure breaks because it’s like refueling your tank. Allow your, business strategy, to be your best self.
  2. Eat Whole Foods – According to Ayurveda, it is very important to eat foods that are natural and pure for their full benefit to be absorbed by the body. When foods are as close to their state in nature as possible, that’s when they deliver the most potent nutrition. Foods that have been genetically altered, processed or refined have much of their natural intelligence stripped from them, disturb the intellect and the coordination and lowers our, capacity .
  3. Manage stress levels – We live in difficult times. Stress and anxiety, whether caused by time pressures or difficult work relationships, stress can have a significant negative impact on mental performance. A calm mind, serene and centered in its equilibrium, is unquestionably superior in terms of focus, attention span, retention of knowledge and problem-solving ability. It is important to manage stress before it becomes a severe problem, because stress has been known to damage or destroy brain cells, and many prescription pills for anxiety can have side effects that can further erode mental performance and, capacity. a new, business strategy, manage your stress.
  4. Get adequate, quality sleep – Related to stress is the other plague of modern society — lack of deep, restful sleep. With diet and lifestyle, sleep is a fundamental pillar of increasing your, capacity. Optimal physical and mental performance is impossible if sleep is not addressed. Getting eight hours of sleep is less important than striving for quality sleep, which occurs when the mind is totally disconnected from the senses. Quality sleep recharges and rejuvenates the mind, improving both short-term and long-term mental prowess as well as your, capacity for growth.

Myrna – I understand that you have  a capacity in crisis virtual workshop.

Lisa –  First of all I have an amazing free gift for your listeners.  To get your Free Gift head over to  my website at www.lisafabrega.com.

You can also sign up for my newsletter it’s actually an entire video series that I call the, capacity conversations.  It’s like binging on Netflix except you get to binge and expand your, capacity, instead of numbing your mind.

You get a series of free videos that walk you through all the capacities and help you diagnose what your capacity issue might be holding you back.

Myrna – I want to introduce a contest this week. The prize is a gift card from one of our sponsors hbnaturals.com.  One of you lucky listeners will get this $25 gift card for subscribing to either the Transform Your Mind iTunes podcast or subscribing to the Transform Your Mind podcast Youtube channel. Once you subscribe send me an email to info@myhelps.us with your contact information and if you are the winner, you will get this gift card to purchase any of the products on hbnatures.com coffee, skincare products, tea,  CBD oil, super-foods, essential oils, pet products and more.

I want to invite you all to join my private Facebook group called life coach, this group has lots of life coaches giving daily inspiration and tips to live your best like now.

Additional Resources 

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-world-of-the-entrepreneur/

https://www.moneycarer.org.uk/useful-information/capacity-assessment-for-money-management.html

Posted on

Successful But Unfulfilled? How to Get Back to Basics

Getting back to Basics ABC

The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment.  People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you’ll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that, fulfillment, lies somewhere in money.

Listen to the full interview

TJ Loeffler shares tips and strategies on the topic Successful but Unfulfilled, getting Back to Basics. TJ is a best-selling author of the new book “Getting Back to Basics”

This interview on the Transform your Mind podcast covers the fundamentals of living your life the way that you purposed it. How to live your best life now with some simple little tweaks by getting, back to basics.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Introduction to Getting, Back to Basics

TJ Loeffler is a founder, speaker, coach and advisor. After a personal awakening and a decade long journey of life transformation he now uses his gifts in speaking and coaching to share
Lessons from his story. TJ’s personal mission is to help people be free, get healthy and stay wealthy. Not just financially but spiritually by getting, back to basics.

  • TJ Loeffler – the first thing that I’ll say about Jesus being at the center of my transformation and
    the change in my life is one of the things I heard

God makes the trees and we make the tables.

It’s a very powerful way to think about God’s role in our lives and more importantly our role in his life. What I mean by that is he provides and it’s up to us to meet our potential, so if he has the promise, we have the potential. I give God the credit and specifically Jesus for the revelation.

Successful but Unfulfilled – Getting Back to Basics

The changes that have happened in my life are really stemming from a change that happened in my heart. I was successful but unfulfilled working at Goldman Sachs, a well-known investment bank. I was on the trading floor on wall street making a great income but I was unfulfilled.

  • You see I had been driven my whole life to perform and achieve, because I had low self-esteem.
    I had low self-esteem, because I had a subconscious belief that I was abandoned or neglected at birth. I was adopted.
  • I had never really come to the place where I had accepted my own story, because I had never really gone through the process of healing. My relationship with God allowed me to release the feeling of low self-worth and embrace my life.
  • Everything hit me in terms of the understanding who you are when my father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and the supernatural started speaking into my life.

After facing a lot of adversity, I started coaching to help others and my company Loeffler international was founded.

Getting Back to Basics
Getting Back to Basics

Are Overachievers Unfulfilled?

Myrna – That’s awesome why do you think that some overachievers are still unfulfilled?

In my coaching experience I found that there was a lot of overachievers who are making money, they’re successful in their marriages, they’ve got a couple of boxes that they can check; but they still this emptiness inside.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How Getting, Back to Basics can help you become fulfilled.

TJ Loeffler – it’s a great question and I’m going to make this super practical and it does relate to, back to basics, the book that is coming out this summer.

  • The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment.  People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you’ll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that fulfillment lies somewhere in money.
  • But then people who start making money realize wait I need to do something meaningful with my life, so then they start a non-profit or do something to make an impact on the world. Then they realize that they can’t help everybody in the world.
  • Then they realize wait I need inner freedom and finances don’t bring me freedom! Money just magnifies the state you’re already in. If you’re a sad person, money can make you extra sad. So getting, back to basics looks at your inner world.
    • Forgiveness – forgiveness sets us free. There’s a lot of people who follow Jesus; but haven’t had the revelation of Jesus in their heart, which is full freedom. In other words they still live hanging on to the weight of their past and that’s not living in freedom that’s living in self-condemnation.
    • Health – there are a lot of really spiritual people who are functionally unhealthy and so underneath all that income still, unfulfilled. They can be making an impact; but if they’re not healthy no, fulfillment.

Does Money equal Fulfillment?

Myrna – I want to circle back to one of the most poignant things you said. People think that income equals, fulfillment. That is such a lie and it’s really sad to see the, unfulfilled, people with lots of money like the stars who have millions of dollars and all the fans and then they realize that all that doesn’t make them, fulfilled.

TJ Loeffler – One thing I would add is getting, back to basics, means that when you think about money the gift is with the giver and so generosity is one of the tools to greater joy; but generosity can also be an outpouring of guilt. So if you don’t have gratitude in your heart and you feel guilty for privilege and money, then you are back to being, unfulfilled.

Myrna – In your book, back to basics, you talk about the idea of having the right foundation for,
Fulfillment. What is that foundation?

What’s the core of, Back to Basics

TJ Loeffler – At the core of, Back to Basics, is this idea of the foundation to, fulfillment.

  • We were talking about health being the foundation layer in getting, back to basics, because
    people that I’ve experienced this in my own life have gone through a health transformation including myself. You can’t end burnout of 10 years with poor lifestyle choices in 24 hours.
    People want to have conversation with our coaching team to find out what truly makes them happy and how to get, back to basics, without changing their mindset.

The foundation to, fulfillment, is to overcome indecision and paralysis from analysis and anxiety. There are functional changes you need to make in your life, not just the mindset shifts which are
Core. Just like your philosophy, transform your mind, to, transform your life, we believe that mindset comes before strategy or tactics.

If you have pressures in your life and you’re not taking care of your body, I don’t care how you
Look visually, it’s going to affect you mentally, emotionally spiritually. It’s going to affect you and all these areas of life.

Getting, back to basics, is as simple as starting your day with lemon water. You have to start your day hydrating your body and specifically with lemon water because your body is
Detoxifying.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

There are six Core Pillars to getting, Back to Basics.

Myrna – is that your foundation to getting, back to basics?

  • TJ Loeffler – there are six core pillars to the foundation. When we think about health we break it up into these six things:
    • Diet
    • Sleep
    • Movement
    • Active rest
    • Reflection and
    • Connection

These six pillars are how I grew my business. These six things are also how I changed my life functionally. There were things that I was facing in my life, a lot of difficulty. I believe some of it was spiritual, some of it was really practical. I was burned out, so I hadn’t changed my mindset around productivity, around balance, around energy, I wouldn’t have found the recipe for getting, back to basics.

Pride comes before the fall and I definitely fell. I felt my pride took me to fall several times.

If God makes the trees and we make the tables, the tree is the body. He made this body.
I’m a spiritual being in this body. Our body keeps the score and we’re losing. Our body is telling us we have to look at ourselves and say I’ve neglected nutrition in my life.

I have to start thinking not diet; but my relationship with food and how my body processes the food. If i don’t have active rest in my life then I’m in constant sympathetic tone or fight or flight or free state and then my body diverts all the blood away from my digestive system. Now I can’t process the kale and salmon that I’m eating all the time and I think I’m healthy; but the reality is I’m in constant state of chronic stress or anxiety, so my body doesn’t process the nutrition I an eating.

How does Active Rest take us, Back to Basics?

Myrna – Is active rest Meditation?

TJ Loeffler – meditation is one leg of active rest. Here’s the key with meditation. You can empty
Yourself; but are you filling yourself with the right things? Otherwise you’re just walking around with an empty bin.

  • Active rest is really about helping your body move from sympathetic tone to what’s called parasympathetic tone. I think of it like a light dimmer not a light switch.
  • People are walking about their day being triggered by trauma that happened in their life and not even knowing that they’re being triggered. How many people are aware that they’re in a chronic state of fight or flight? How many people are aware of that and so recognize shallow mouth breathing as stress? All this is part of getting, back to basics.

Myrna – all the foundational things you’re talking about are things that I know that people can actually use to become better themselves and when they become better themselves, then everything else on the exterior becomes better. So, back to basics, it’s basic a perfect book.

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How can these Core Pillars help Overachievers have, Fulfillment?

Back to Basics, is a collection of the six core pillars.

Everything you do it starts as a discipline before it becomes a desire; but the reality is you can really start to enjoy your life when you when you like the way you look, when you like the way you feel. You start realizing it’s probably all the good choices that I’ve been making to engage with my body in a different way that is making me feel good.

  1.  I check my relationship with food
  2.  Analyse my relationship with sleep

What people are really looking for is, fulfillment, in life, in other words they have made an
agreement that work will provide, fulfillment. I spoke with a client yesterday, who said, I need a new career. I don’t have a career that gives me, fulfillment, and I said a career is not where you find, fulfillment. It may be a contributor but it can’t give you, fulfillment.

Myrna – I agree change starts with you, it’s within your power.

How to Change your Life Right Now by Getting,  Back to Basics

What’s one of the first and most important things someone can do to begin changing their life right now?

A lot of people want to put things off until they’ve checked this box or they get married or got this new job. They always put off happiness; but we know as coaches that anything that you want to do, this is the right time. Now is the right time so what can somebody do right now to begin changing their lives?

TJ Loeffler – Besides lemon water every morning which is recommended in the book, back to basics, do things that make you feel and look better. They can also hire a coach. Coaches can help people to find, fulfillment, within. I found is coaches really accelerate the process and the good ones are going to be able to hold a mirror up to you.

They’re going to be able to help you see something differently in order to make practical change in your life. But I can hold a mirror but if you’re not willing to let go and let God in, if you’re not willing to give permission, if you’re still trying to hold on and have control over every area of your life, including your own perception.

If you want to hold on to the pain of your past, if you want to hold on to the things that have happened to you that you are still the victim, it’s really going to be hard to make changes. I don’t care how many coaches you hire, you won’t find, fulfillment. You have got to do the work.

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Conclusion

The first part of the book, Back to Basics, is really about helping people be open. If you’re not open, if your mind’s not open, your heart’s not open. Your mind is a reflection of your heart.

Myrna – How can listeners connect with you and order a copy of your book, Back to Basics?
They can order from my website corepillers.com.

We do have a boot camp. We do have health coaching, VIP days and a number of other options for people. If you’re at a place in your life where you’re really looking to make a change and
that’s our prerequisite, we’re looking for people who are resourceful, teachable and ready for
change NOW. Not six months from now.

Here are the links to TJ site
Website Site: tjloeffler.com

Book: corepillars.com

Thanks for supporting the Transform your Mind radio and Podcast. You can sponsor this podcast by checking out my gig on Fiverr. We are now recording on video so check out the Transform Your Mind Podcast YouTube channel. Please subscribe and leave your comments.
If you have not done so already, please subscribe, rate and review the Transform Your Mind iTunes podcast.

Additional Resources Getting Back to Basics

Transform Your Mind Personal Development podcast.

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

https://www.artofliving.org/us-en/meditation/srisri-meditation/deep-rest-meditation

 

 

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Life Leadership & Success

Life Leadership Success

Scott Miller, author and EVP at Franklin Covey, shares tips on, leadership,  relationships, efficiency, vs, effectiveness, and how to straight talk to your employees as well as family and friends.

Scott serves as the executive vice president of thought leadership at Franklin Covey, is the host of multiple podcasts including Franklin Covey’s on leadership and, Great Life Great Career Podcast.  He’s also Wall Street Journal’s bestselling author of “Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, the Six Critical Practices for Leading a Team”

What has the book ” 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” taught you about, Leadership?

I have had the privilege of being in the Franklin Covey company which of course was co-founded by Dr. Stephen R. Covey who wrote the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that, leadership, book has sold 40 million copies.

I wrote “Management Mess to, Leadership, success” because quite frankly my life’s been a mess. Not because you are an executive or an author or parent means you are a success automatically.   I wrote the book because I wanted to share with readers that owning your mess is really the first step to becoming a success.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Recognizing the difference between having an, effectiveness, mindset and an, efficient, mindset.  One of the biggest messes that I’ve had to conquer was recognizing when am I in an, effectiveness, mindset and when I should be in an efficient, mindset; because they’re not the same factors.

I’m a very, efficient, person, I get up at 4:00 am in the morning, I write my column, I write a couple chapters on the books that I’m writing. On a Saturday morning I would get up at five o’clock, go to Home Depot and buy flowers and have them planted by six o’clock.  Be at the car wash by 7 am, be at tennis by nine.  I mean I live a very productive and, efficient, life. That’s helped me in a lot of areas of my life; but it hasn’t helped me in my relationships, because as Dr. Covey said

With people, slow is fast, and fast is slow.

We cannot be, efficient, in our relationships.

So one of the biggest areas of growth for me was with people. I had to learn to slow down. When someone comes into my office, I  take off my glasses, close my laptop and turn off my phone. I have to really understand when and where can I be, efficient, and when and where should I practice, effectiveness.  If you want to develop more trustworthy, long-lasting, mutually beneficial, relationships, be more cognizant of when you’re being, efficient, and fast and when you’re being, effective, and slow.

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I think it’s good advice to, leaders, to be a little more, self-aware, and introspective.  Is your need to be, efficient, in some areas of your life negatively impacting other areas in your life?

Use Communication to become, Self-Aware.

It is all about, communication, because when you are being, efficient, you’re probably not being, effective, because it all depends on your audience.

Self-awareness, I use this term a lot.  Everybody could benefit from being more, self-aware.

  • Ask yourself – what’s it like to be your friend?
  • What’s it like to be your husband?
  • What’s it like to be your neighbor

I’d encourage all of your readers, if you really want to improve your relationships, if you want to improve your influence expand your credibility and become more trustworthy or likable, go ask the people in your life what’s it like to be in a meeting with you.

  • What is it like to be on a carpool with you
  • What’s it like to go on vacation with you
  • What’s it like to be at dinner with you
  • What’s it like to be married to you.

When someone gives you that feedback, don’t refute it don’t brush it away.

Don’t blame anybody else, just listen.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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What, communication skills, are important to, leadership, success

Let’s talk about, leadership, and then this broaden it to a straight talk between peers.  Talking straight is really a sign of respect to everyone in your life.  We’ve all met people who say they call it as they see it, that is actually quite selfish.  Talking straight is when you are able to base what you’re saying in fact.  When you talk straight with someone, you don’t postulate, you don’t pontificate,  you don’t technically tell the truth, but you kind of leave the wrong impression.  No you just you say straight up what is true.

As a life coach, I would use something called the, sandwich technique,  which means that you package that talk with something positive like a sandwich.

sandwich feedback method
sandwich feedback method

I would not advocate the, sandwich feedback method. I think it’s generally disingenuous. I think the better technique is to first declare your intent, because the moment there is suspicion about your intent, everything you do becomes tainted.  So be very clear on what your intent is. Say what is uncomfortable straight, no chaser without any bogus compliments and no hidden agenda.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

How to become a, Leader,  people will follow

The first step to becoming a great, leader is to check their own paradigms, our own belief systems.  We all have deeply entrenched, deeply enculturated paradigms that were built into us by our grandparents, our parents, our aunties, our first grade teachers, our neighbors, our relatives and it is how we see the world. How we see ourselves and everyone should be emotionally nimble, or emotionally flexible enough to challenge your belief systems.

Women in Leadership
Women in Leadership

Here’s a great example:

I am 51 years old, I’m Caucasian.  I live in Salt Lake City, but I lived in the 70s in Central Florida, Orlando Florida. I am  from an upper middle-class white family,  one of two children.  My mother was a full-time stay-at-home mom, my father had a fairly traditional corporate job.  It was a stable family in the seventies and I was raised to believe that, doctors, police officers, and Catholic priests were always right and always told the truth!

Can you imagine for a moment that had I been eight year-old young boy and an altar server and that a Catholic priest who was perhaps a pedophile told me to do some inappropriate  things?

I think the first step in becoming a, leader, of your own self, your own life is to challenge your own paradigms.  You don’t see every situation, every argument, every interaction, every meeting, every conflict, every win, every lost accurately;  you always have a little bit of a judgment on it.

We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How does “carrying your own weather” help  with, Leadership, Success.

Proactive, leaders, carry their own weather, reactive people give over there weather. They metaphorically give their power to other people.  Proactive people choose their response to any situation, any crisis, any reaction based on values,  not based on other people.

Here’s a great example of, carrying your own weather.

My son and I were in Miami and we came upon this intersection in a downtown shopping district where there had just been an accident.  There was no injuries, very small accident.  There was this young woman, I’m gonna say in her 20s who was having this outrageous, hysterical, verbal meltdown. I mean she was out of control.  This person was not, carrying her own weather, she was giving up control of her emotions to that situation. Being out of control was serving her no benefit.  The point of that story was people who are proactive, they’re calm, they’re rational, they don’t let other things influence their own responses.

Leaders who “carry their own weather” move from mess to success.  They put space between stimulus and response. When someone says something to them that pisses them off,  they don’t immediately lash out to them.

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What sets your book apart from other, leadership,  and management books

I wrote this book was with very clear intention,  I’ve been privileged to have my entire career dedicated in the, leadership, development industry. I worked  for years with the Disney Company and now almost 25 years with the Franklin Covey company and learned a few things; but I have always struggled with a lot of these management and, leadership, practices.  Like you I host a podcast and interview guests every week, I read close to 70 books a year and I wanted to write a different kind of, leadership, book because most, leadership, books are written by fortune 500 CEOs or academic professors and they’re kind of hard to relate to.  I wanted to write a really real raw and relatable book where regardless of what role I was in, anybody in their career and their personal life could relate to a lot of my own struggles.

So the book is kind of uproariously funny, it’s very raw and blush.  I shared a lot of my own messes in the book not because I was trying to be funny gratuitously, I just wanted to validate everybody that, leadership, is hard whether you are a formal or informal leader.  It didn’t come naturally to me and so the challenge is based on Franklin Covey’s research, that if you can get your arms around these 30 principles, you will transform your influence in your relationships and your career.  It’s kind of aligned with a month, 30 practices in 30 days.  You can take one every day get your groove on.

I was privileged to co-author a second book called “Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, the Six Critical practices for leading a team,” that’s also on Amazon.

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Connect with Scott Miller at Franklin Covey on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

I want invite you guys to join my private Facebook group called, life coach, there you can get daily tips and strategies to live in your best life now not only from me but from all the members of the group. Also please subscribe to the podcast and leave an iTunes review.

Additional Resources

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/how-to-control-your-emotions-so-your-emotions-dont-control-you.html

 

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

 

 

 

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The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

In her book “Thriving, Not, Surviving” The author provides you with the route map to navigate a particular life, focusing on self-belief, relationships, managing change and finding your true purpose and achieving fulfillment.

In this episode of the Transform your mind to Transform your life radio show and podcast, Coach Myrna Young interviews Gina Gardiner, Author of the book , “Thriving Not Surviving – The 5 Secret Pathways To Happiness Success and Fulfilment”

  • Gina is a Motivational Speaker, Empowerment and Relationship Coach and Transformational Leadership Trainer with well over 30 years of experience helping people experience happiness, success and fulfillment. She’s the founder of the Thrive Together Tribe membership and personal and spiritual development Program and The Enlightened Leadership Program.
  • Gina has learned to walk twice as an adult.  For over 20 years, she ran her award-winning school, for the most part from a wheelchair.  The gift of this experience was the development of a unique approach to life and learning the tools on, Thriving, not just, surviving.
  • In 2004 Gina left Headship school as the Principal and has since worked with countless individuals, couples, teams and organizations helping them to step into their potential, to learn the lessons from the past and to recognize that it is their choice to step into their power and live a fearless life.  Gina is passionate about supporting people to live a truly happy, successful and fulfilling life, thriving, not just, surviving.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

What is the Difference between, Thriving, and,  Surviving?

There’s a huge difference between, surviving, and thriving. Surviving, means to “continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship.” Thriving, means to “prosper, be fortunate or successful, to grow or develop vigorously; to flourish.”

I really found myself moving on my career path very quickly. I was promoted to deputy principal of a large junior high school when I was 28.  I was appointed to be the catalyst for change.  I was the youngest on the staff and for the first six months. I was working directly with the principal because I was the deputy principal to strategically plan what we were going to do and start making the changes.

In the UK schools have a week off in February for the spring half term.  I was really thrilled to be going skiing with the kids. I was a keen skier and went off to Italy for the ski trip. In those days it was very fashionable to have the longest skis possible and I got a new pair of skis for Christmas.  I proceeded to wrap the extra 10 centimetres’ of the skis.  We left for the ski lift after lunch the next day after arrival. It was an absolutely beautiful day, one of those days in the mountains where the sun was shining and everything was clean and crisp.  I followed my friends to this new trail, when our lift turned a corner, I noticed the mountain was not as we expected.   Instead of being on a lovely red run that went for three or four kilometres, we were on the Schindler slope, which was the most difficult black run called a mogul.  A mogul is where the snow has been carved by the weather and they are often little cobblestones;  but these were six-foot monsters and the only way to ski was to turn on the top of a mogul and slide down and then find a way through the moguls till the next one, and turn on either side a narrow piece.  There was some powder snow, so I skied the first bird and then lost my nerve in terms of turning and ended up falling a long way in the powder snow.  It took me about 20 minutes to retrieve my ski and then make my way down to where my friends were sitting.  Each of them sitting on a mogul rather like an elf sitting on a toadstool!

I decided to sit on a mogul as well and the top of my mogul gave way and I starting to fall.  The next thing I knew, I was coming to. I had lost consciousness.  I’m told I fell about 150 to 200 feet down the mountain.

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We were traveling home the next morning, so I thought I’d rather go and see the medics in the UK instead of Italy. I had a  terrible journey home.  My mum took one look at me and she carted me off to the emergency at the hospital. They diagnosed with a bad concussion and that I had damaged a nerve in my neck.  It took me three weeks to get back to school and two weeks later I was due to be the deputy leader on a skiing trip to Switzerland.  I was given permission to go because we were taking a doctor with us.  I was finding it more and more difficult to manage but I did manage until the very last evening when I said to a staff member, I’m going to have to go and lie down.  I wasn’t laying on my bed for more than a few minutes when I discovered that I was paralyzed.  So I’m lying on my bed, I can’t feel my one side, I didn’t want to frighten the children, their rooms were children down the corridor, and so I waited until one of the other adults arrived.  I have to say it was the longest time in my life. I have no idea how long it was, I just know it felt like forever.  When they did arrive all hell broke loose, an ambulance was called. I was carted off to Geneva Hospital and I was there for several days before being flown home and gradually my mobility returned; but I was never quite the same.  By the end of May, I went back to school.  I was doing school and sleep.  I thought I’ve had six weeks to recuperate during the summer break but;  two weeks later I had a phone call very early in the morning from my principal’s wife, she had just found him dead in bed, he had a massive heart attack and so far from being restful holiday I was suddenly acting principal.

I had to contact the staff, the parents and the local authority and prepare for September and so by the time September came, I had plans in place and by the following January I was appointed the permanent head master.  I was determined that not only the children; but also the staff in my school would get the best learning environment that I could produce. That they would, thrive not just survive.   I’ve been very unhappy at school, and I wanted something very different for my pupils, and also for the staff.

I was walking, but by 1987 my mobility was deteriorating, and I had to start using the wheelchair in school.  I wasn’t at that point wheelchair-bound, I could walk into the classroom, I could walk into my office; but I couldn’t walk any distance.  Any walking produced fatigue and pain and for the next few years I managed like that until in 1996, I sneezed and I felt something ping in my back.  It was towards the end of the summer term, there’s something about the summer holidays for me, I’m not quite sure what I did.

I had a special chair in assembly and that where I could sit at standing height, and one day I went to get off the chair, and my legs wouldn’t hold me. I fell to the floor. So off to the hospital.  It turned out that I had a huge ruptured disc. I was just, surviving.  I had failed back surgery syndrome, so when I came around from the operation, if I put my left foot to the floor, then I just used to faint because of the pain. Surviving, was becoming tedious.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

The best explanation the doctors came up with is that during the fall I had bruised the spinal cord and with skiing the second time, that the spinal cord had been swollen and cut off the blood supply or whatever, and so a period of time I was paralyzed on one side; but I was back at school after the back operation very quickly.  I already had my wheelchair, so the school was all set up for me to be operating from a wheelchair. I was still just, surviving.  It took me 18 months to walk at the end of my quite small garden.

I ruptured another disk that summer.  I could not stand at all now, if I stayed at home, I couldn’t do anything other than read or watch television.  If my care giver didn’t fill the kettle,  I couldn’t make myself a drink.  So I decided to go back to school. I was back at school because my brain worked, my mouth worked, my hands worked.  I had people who could lift things if I needed it and I could do what I loved and I was good at. Surviving was my intent.  I was going to focus on what I could do to start, thriving, not just surviving.

In 2004 I was given an ultimatum by the neurologist you’ve got to stop working the 15 hours a day that you’re doing because my health was deteriorating.  I made the very difficult decision that I was going to leave the school.  I had to use an electric wheelchair.   I had all of these Skills, these expertise, experience and I thought well.  What am I going to do now?

I decided to focus on the development of leadership.  Getting more women to the table. I looked at retail manufacturing, finance, Insurance, local government and a whole range of industries.  The issues that they faced in terms of developing leadership, was no different in education, so I wrote my first couple of books and they became my credibility.  I worked mainly in corporate field as an, executive coach. I was now, thriving. The recession in early 2008 hurt my business, because the corporations just slashed training  and development.  I was back to, surviving.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

I started to do some lecturing for the university and they would commission me out to go and work with smaller businesses, SME is anything up to about 8 million pound turnover. I would go and work with these companies, we’d sort out the problem, I’d go away and then a few months later I’d be invited back to sort out another problem, so I suggested in those businesses to hire me full time as an, executive coach.

Back to, thriving, using the principles that I used to build up my own organization and become one of the best 100 schools in England.  I used the gift that my disability gave me and the gift that I had developed within my own organization to developing people’s empowerment, personal empowerment and leadership where they would take radical responsibility for their own performance and shared responsibility for the team, for the whole organization and it was incredibly successful.

Reflection 4 Rejection
Reflection 4 Rejection

So I setup genuinely you.  I wrote the book, thriving not surviving,  and that sent me on my mission.  My mission now is to positively impact one million people and to do that through personal empowerment and enlightened leadership.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

How can people go from, Thriving, to, Surviving, when facing challenges?

It’s a bit serendipitous.  You have a problem, you find a way to get over it, then something

else happens and you find another way to keep, surviving.  When I came to write, thriving not surviving,  and it was the second book that I’d written around looking at the strategies that I’d used to overcome my personal challenges and going from, surviving, to thriving.  The first book

was called,  Chariots on Fire,  that was  my story and the personal strategies that I used to overcome the difficulty of, surviving,  but between 2009 and 2017, a lot of things changed.

I’ve done a lot of development work on myself and I’d worked with thousands of people and so I had moved my thinking.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

 

Here are the Two areas to focus to start, Thriving, and stop, Surviving.

  1. Beliefs – our beliefs about ourselves become our reality. If you believe you’ll fail, the chances are you won’t even start.  If you believe you’ll might fail, you’re going to make a set of decisions.  If you believe I’m going to succeed,  don’t quite know how but; I’m going to succeed, your beliefs about whether you’re enough or whether you are, too fat, too tall, too short, not rich enough, not educated enough,  too old, too young, those beliefs absolutely determine what sort of quality of life you’re going to have.
  2. The second pathways is relationships. You want to be, thriving, in your relationships. Every relationship we have with other people is a mirror image of the relationship we have with ourselves.  So if you don’t feel that you’re enough,  if you listen to other people’s opinions rather than trusting your own, if you believe that you deserve to be treated badly because you don’t actually love and appreciate yourself, you’re going to put up with people treating you in a very different way, than if you actually have confidence and a good self-esteem.  So the relationships we have with ourselves are incredibly important.

In a past episode Surviving R Kelly: the Mindset of a Predator,

The Lifetime series, Surviving R. Kelly, and the follow up Dateline episode, show a rich and famous R. Kelly feeding his sex machine with women of all ages. His preference seemed to be teenage girls as young as 12 years old; but women in their 30’s had the same experience.  One said that she did unspeakable things in a Black room, was starved, had to ask before she went to the bathroom, was physically abused, and had to call  Art. Kelly,  Daddy.

So in this interview, Nicole and  I  explore the mindset of  predator and how women of all ages can use their intuition to escape the lair of a predator.

These women who were a part of the, surviving R Kelly, documentary, had to learn to be strong minded. Similarly Gina had to learn to push past her flesh and fight to do the things she had always done, like lead a school. One of the victims in the, Surviving R. Kelly, interview, said just that.  She said that, sexual predators, look for the, weak minded woman,.  They usually go for the young, like teenagers because they are, weak minded women,  but if they find you are weak minded as an adult, then you become a victim as well.  She was one of the women in her 30’s who was a victim.  So if you are a, weak minded woman, then you are not using your intuition, instead, you are looking for this person to fill the void in your life, and in, the mindset of a sexual predator, they are more than happy to accommodate.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

If you are interested in your personal and spiritual development, all of Gina’s programs are on her website which is genuinely- you.  You will find all sorts of resources, lots of free stuff and also find her one-on-one coaching program and  enlightened leadership program.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Leadership Coaching – Transform your Mind 

Important Leadership Skills for the workplace  

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Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

Your Life Theme and, personalities,  shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes compose your identity.

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman.  He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill.   That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, personality, controls  our communication.

Personality types
Personality types

 

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are.  That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions.  Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How does objects that we surround ourselves with express our identity and, Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale.  That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun.  I want to appease the, personalities,  so when I  walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down.  I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How does Objects identity our, personality?

Our, personality, as our way of expression.  Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization.  The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True,  but  I  look at what do you like to do for fun?  What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?”  I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality,  framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or  “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

Personality Myers Briggs
Personality Myers Briggs

The Myers-Briggs, Personality, Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
  • Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
  • Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
  • Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs,  theory of, personality types,  people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

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Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personality types, are described here:

  • The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
  • The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
  • The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
  • The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
Personality INEJ
Personality INEJ

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

The Secret to Living the Life of your Dreams

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

 

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5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feeling

Never go with your, gut feelings, because what is true is that your gut, intuition, is often going to be lying to you.  Just like people who are depressed and anxious feel that there’s something to be said about, gut feelings, when there’s not, and feel there’s a threat when there is not. Instead use  counter intuitive strategies to make decisions.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life podcast, I interview Dr Gleb Tsipursky, Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist and author of the book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.” 

What was your path in becoming a Cognitive Neuroscientist?

I was 18 in 1999 when the Prince song party like it’s 1999 was Hot. A lot of leaders were partying because their companies were going boom they were making a lot of a lot of money.  Billions of dollars were invested into  the dot.com industry, and just a couple of years later when I was 21 in 2002, they all went bust. The leaders of the dot.com era made terrible decisions. They trusted their, Gut feelings, and went bust! That and the fact I saw my father trust his, gut feelings, and made terrible decisions, made me study to become a Cognitive Neuroscientist.

Leaders who went with their, gut feelings, made bad decisions

A lot of  Leaders who went with, gut feelings, went to jail.  Their, gut instincts, were way off. Never trust just your, gut feelings.  I was curious about what was going on, so I decided to study the neuroscience of the brain and how people think. I became a Trainer, Consultant, and Coach for business leaders.

Cognitive neuroscience,  is a subfield of neuroscience that studies the biological processes that underlie human cognition, especially in regards to the relation between brain structures, activity and cognitive functions. The purpose of it is to determine how the brain functions and achieves performance.is the study of how our brain works, how we make decisions and what our patterns of decision-making are.  I also studied the specific judgment errors that we make when we make decisions purely from, gut feelings.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

One of the first things I wanted to know because as a, Lifecoach myself, when I sit down in a coaching session, I’m looking for certain things in order for me to understand where my clients are coming from.  As a cognitive neuroscientist and behavioral economist, what are you looking for when you were consulting with these business leaders?

Coaching to, Gut Instinct

The first thing I’m looking for is to make sure the person is coachable.  A lot of people would like to go to a coach, but they’re not coachable.  Meaning that they’re not willing to listen to external feedback and accept that sometimes, someone looking from the outside is going to be wiser than the person looking from the inside and making those, gut feeling,  decisions.

I also try to find an issue of disagreement and in the first session, to see how the person reacts to this disagreement.  Because if this person’s is not able to deal with this disagreement, then we’re not going to be able to have an effective coaching relationship. Because as a coach  I’m going to tell you what I think, and if you can’t accept feedback,  we can’t work together and I’d like to discover that as quickly as possible.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

 

The other thing that I look for at the start of the session is how emotionally aware this person is.  That’s the quality of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence refers to two broad skill sets:

  • emotional awareness – where is this person emotions
  • and emotional management – how are they able to manage their emotions.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

It is really an important element for me to understand.  Do I need to teach this person these skills of emotional intelligence, personal skills, emotional awareness and emotional management? Because in order to make good decisions, instead of going with, gut feelings,  we need to realize that our emotions are the overwhelming factor driving our, gut intuition and, gut instinct.  Our emotions shape about 80 to 90 percent of our, gut feelings, and  decision-making.  Going with your, gut feelings, means going with your, gut instinct intuition,  and they’re often wrong, so this is a problem.

When my clients notice that there are goals they want to achieve from coaching are at odds with their natural inclinations and natural intuition, they change their natural state.  One of the very important aspects of coaching, is to change your natural state of activities otherwise there is no point in coaching.

One key aspect of coaching, is to change from where you are today to where you want to be

I’m looking for that as well how aware is the person of their emotions and how able are they to manage their emotions and, gut feelings.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Leaders shouldn’t just use, gut feelings, to make decisions

As a Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist, you had enough data to write a book on disaster avoidance and that’s also name of your company.  Does your research indicate that most people who follow their, gut feelings, or, gut instinct, make the wrong decisions?

Yes, overwhelmingly people who just go with their, gut feelings, and make decisions by, gut reaction, as opposed to people who check with their heads before going with their, gut feelings, make the wrong decisions.

Let’s look at small businesses.  A lot of small business owners who don’t have training go with their, gut feeling, and open up a business. They feel that they can do this job, I can do this work.  I can run this restaurant or this hair salon or I can be a plumber. But when you look at the actual statistics,  what happens to small businesses is about half of them fail within the first five years,  about two-thirds of them fail within the first ten years;  because people make decisions based on, gut feelings.  They just go with their, gut instincts,  they don’t check with their head before going with their,  gut feeling. Never just go with your, gut feelings.

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Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

 

5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your, Gut Feeling

That business leader this who wants to open up a hair salon needs to learn about these cognitive biases,  the 30 most dangerous ones that she might be suffering from

I list them all in my book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.” 

I will list 5 of them here.

  1. The Confirmation Bias – where she might be looking for information from, gut feelings, that confirms her beliefs and ignoring information that do not confirm her beliefs.
  2. Objective Adviser – Understanding the failure rate for hair salons. The failure rate for hair salons are a  little bit higher than the failure rate for typical small businesses,  so the first question to answer is why she would not fail. What makes her so special ? Never go with just, gut feelings.
  3. Get uncomfortable – Look for information that is uncomfortable and that to prove to herself whether this is the right decision or not.
  4. Check for the optimism bias. Business leaders who open up new restaurants, new salon or new small businesses tech startups tend to be very optimistic. They are too optimistic compared to the reality of the situation.
  5. Exit strategy if Business fails – what are all the reasons why it would fail.  Was it the wrong location? Management etc?

    Additional Resources Never go with Your, Gut Feelings

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V3QWa9WdzQ

 

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

 

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-top-7-reasons-meditation-can-help-your-business-increase-revenues/

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-brain-gut-connection

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/

https://lonerwolf.com/gut-instincts/

Posted on

How to Ask for a Raise or Anything you Want in Life.

How to, ask for a raise, a promotion, God for something, a Guy out. How to Ask for Affection or anything else you want in life.

A few weeks ago I started reading this book “The game of life and how to play” By Florence Scovel Shinn.  The title of the book caught my attention, because I have a chapter in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement  called How to become a Player in the Game of life and I have a podcast episode entitled “How to win the game of life.”

So you see this topic is close to my heart.

So I started reading. The content wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before, just said in a different way. For example I am a Christian and a follower of the teaching of Jesus Christ. I have read books, listened to visionaries, my pastor and numerous other men of God quote this scripture Ask and you shall receive, knock and the door will be opened to you, seek and you shall find.  I know this, I believe this; but I had never heard said like this. “You have to make the first move”

Talk about dumbing it down!

My immediate reference was, making the first move if you want a man instead of waiting on him. How many times you just waited and waited for a man to call you or ask you out and he never made the first move and that was the end of your dream of this guy.  If you had picked up the phone and asked him out, you would have received what you wanted. Or at least you would know for sure he was not interested.

So I decided to, Ask for a raise, from God.

How to ask for a raise
How to ask for a raise

This is how I, asked God for a raise,  “God you are my supply. Let everything that is mine by divine right be manifested now. I ask you for a lead, I am knocking at the door, let who I seek be seeking me. Amen”

I made the first move I, asked for a raise,

And God answered immediately!

The very next day I woke up at 5 am and decided to scan my Facebook feed. I don’t normally do this but I followed inspiration and did this day. I am a Realtor and a Life Coach. The day before I had marketed on my Facebook page a 12 unit multifamily commercial property. As you know Facebook algorithm records everything you post and like. So at the top of my feed was this video of a sponsored Ad about a guy talking about how he has made $200,000,000 in four years by buying multifamily properties all over the country. I decided to comment on the post that I had a great price on this 12 unit multifamily unit in Fort Myers and asked if he invests in Florida? Not only did he respond that he is only interested in multifamily properties with over 100 units; but 5 other people responded to me for info on this deal! I only asked God for one lead! He sent me 6.

Then I got an inquiry from my original marketing post. This prospect had the most serious interest and ending up making an offer of $910,000!

Bang that is how it is done!

God is good when? All the time!!! you just need to know how to engage with God and the universal laws he has put in place.

One is these laws is, Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, know and the door will be opened to you.  In other words, you need to make the first move!

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How to, Ask for a Raise, or anything else you want in life eg:

  • How to Ask God for something,
  • How to ask your boss for a raise or a promotion,
  • How to ask a guy out
  • How to Ask for Affection
  1. How to, ask for a raise,or more money

A situation of lack can be changed to prosperity by changing your mindset.

If you concentrate on what you don’t have you will attract more of what you don’t have – Lack

Instead be grateful for what you have and bless it.

You can bless your pennies and have it multiplied.

The most powerful miracle in the Bible is Jesus blessing 5 loafs of bread and 5 fish and turning them into enough food to feed thousands of people with left overs.

That is a principle Jesus was demonstrating; Give thanks for what you have,  bless it and it will yield more.

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Here is How to, Ask for a raise, or more money

Pray this prayer

Father I thank you for food on the table a roof over my head and health in my body.

I bless the pennies in my bank account and ask that you multiply them.

I, ask for a raise, in my job because  I give wonderful service and I deserve  wonderful pay.

Bless, and then follow your intuition. God will send you instructions on your next move.

I shared earlier how I acted on intuition and raised my pay with a Hugh real estate deal.

Never dismiss a hunch, it leads you to your divine right.

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  1. How to, Ask or a Promotion

Adding to the last ask, Ask for a promotion, follows the law of increase because a promotion usually comes with a raise.

So the only thing I would add is faith that the promotion is yours by divine right.

Pray this prayer

Infinite spirit open the way for abundance I am a magnet for all that belongs to me by divine right. Amen

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  1. How, to Ask a Guy out

People like people who are most like them.

Whatever man images sooner or later externalizes in his affairs. If you like a guy before you, Ask a guy out, do the internal work so when you, Ask a guy out, he will likely say yes.

Imagine the two of you on a date, talking and laughing, and connecting.

Say “Infinite spirit open the way for the divine design of my life to manifest. The perfect plan includes love and perfect self expression.”

Then, Ask the guy out, to go to some where he likes, a ball game, dinner, a movie, networking event etc.

How, to Ask for affection, from your spouse

Love opens to man the 4th dimensional world. The world of the wondrous, the world of bliss.

  • Real love is unselfish and free from fear.
  • It pours itself out on the object of its affection without demanding any return.
  • It’s joy is in the joy of giving and serving.

If the object of your affection does not return affection, it may be that he grew up in a home where he did not see his father show love to his mother or there was not a man in the home.

So you have to, Ask for affection,  if you need it.

Just say “Can I get a hug?  The world is so much brighter when I am in your arms.”

In my second marriage my husband and I made a habit of fighting and me sleeping in the spare bedroom.

One of these fights lasted over a month and I was intensely aware of how much I needed a hug or just human touch.

If you are in such a relationship where there is little touch and you need it, ask for affection,

Say “Baby can you hold me for few mins.  I am feeling the need for your touch”

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Love is God in manifestation and the strongest magnetic force in the universe; so don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and, ask for affection,

It draws itself to its own. Protect your love by giving and receiving affection.

Remember Jealously is the worst enemy of love.

Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love.

 

How to, Ask for Help, or a Hand Up

I know most people have a hard time, ask for help,  yet some people always have a hand out.

Practice asking for small things first to get comfortable, asking for help,

For example, practice asking your teacher to help with something you don’t understand.

This question came from Erika by email.  Remember you can post your questions on this blog , on my facebook group called Life Coach, or you can email either me or Arifah. My email is info@myhelps.us and Arifah is Arifah@liftedbypurpsose.com. 

Erika asks “How do I show a guy that I like him?”

  • Pay attention to your appearance – show a little skin. I was watching this movie just a few days ago and I learned a few things from a playboy bunny. She said to show skin in 5 areas if you want to catch a man’s attention. Show cleavage, bear arms, legs, belly or mid-section and your derriere.
  • Show him how you feel with your body language.– I am a romantic movie buff. I love how the director shows that there is interest in his main characters.  Always eye contact and a smile. It heats up the screen! Miss Playboy Bunny added lightly touch him. Touch his arms, feel his muscles, brush up against him.
  • Compliment him.– This one comes so naturally to me.  I learned a long time ago to always bless everyone I meet with a compliment. Man or woman.

 

  • As we wrap up, I want to thank you for being with us until the end of this broadcast. Please show your support by posting a review on iTunes and subscribing to the podcast. If you have topics you would like Arifah and myself to cover,

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  • Todays episode is sponsored by  Columbus Financial Coach.  Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

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