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How Women Get a Seat at the Table

Women are you invisible in the boardroom and have no say? Do men listen when you speak? If the answer is no, then find out how to get, a seat at the table.

In this episode I interview Kimberley Bussey Lewis, Author of , A Seat At The Table, Or Part Of The Meal: Creating A Culture Of Diversity

How did you come to become passionate about, diversity and inclusion, for, women of color?

How to Get a Seat at The Table

I first really started thinking about, a seat at the table,  when I was a very young reporter in Charleston, South Carolina.  I was the only female reporter at the time within this 600 person company.  And what I was struck by is that there were so many decisions that were being made that we would complain about; but none of us had, a seat at the table, to help make those decisions.

I realized that if I didn't have a place in the room that I was both invisible and silent; so it didn't matter how much I complained or how much I didn't like what was going on or simply just didn't understand it because I was not part of the discussion; I needed, a seat at the table.

So that's where my passion for, diversity and inclusion, was born.

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CNN wrote a column on getting, a seat at the table, for women. They were discussing congresswoman Harris, basically what they're saying was that women are invisible and they have no say.  When they speak no one listens.  So I understand what you are saying.

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What happens when there is no seat at the table

I stayed in that company as a reporter without, a seat at the table, about 12 years.  It took me that long to get that awakening.  Sometimes we think that we are fortunate to have a job so we don't want to stir the pot.  I just increasingly became more and more of a little rebel challenging the status quo. Eventually I left  and ventured out to write my first book.   I was scared to death.  Because here I am I'm going to write a book, I'm going to leave my job.  I took a leave of absence to write the book;  but it was really a step of faith and in writing the book and doing the research.

I became energized when I interviewed older relatives, my mother and great-aunt who were already in their 80s and 90s at the time. I  became energized by their tenacity as, Black women. I knew that we had a lot of strong men in my family, but my eyes are really flew open at the strength of the, black women, and how they held businesses up,  they held a family up and the men of the family up, and brought us all together.

I stumbled into the nonprofit arena by my volunteer work. I was volunteering and working on writing the  book and one thing led to another.  I got to a small job at an organization that was run by a, black woman, who became my mentor.  She took me under her wing and even though I was  just volunteering she taught me so much about strength and tenacity and making your voice count.

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Diversity and Inclusion for Women of Color

Her company was called Family Assistance Management Services

And she was the first black female insurance broker in SC. She had been a full time teacher before she built quite a nest egg with her husband. They owned several pieces of property in Charleston SC. She then became a broker and started several businesses, an insurance company, a computer training clinic all kinds of other businesses, because she had a passion for helping people.

You got your feet wet on the nonprofit arena and but it sounds like you have, a seat at the table, at Goodwill Industries. Why you write the book, “A Seat at the Table or a part of the meal?”

I was born in September 1964 a month after the discrimination Act, and my parents had not long moved to Charleston, SC. All of my siblings, I  have one brother and two sisters, they had all been born at home in the country by a midwife so since it was now illegal for place public places to discriminate my father thought, well I will take my wife to this nice Hospital for my fourth child to be born.  So my mother was in labor he rushes her down to this hospital the Medical University of South Carolina and by this time she'd begun to hemorrhage as I was a breech baby.

It was pouring down rain and he got my mom into the emergency area into the lobby and he started screaming for the doctors to come and help they turned looked at them and turned their backs right away.  All the white doctors and nurses ignored them, so he ran up to them and screamed my wife is bleeding you got to help her and someone told him to just sit down we'll get to you.

So he scooped her up, put her in a wheelchair and ran with her down the street to the black Hospital. McLennan banks Hospital in the pouring rain with my mom gripping for life on that wheelchair.  He pushed her up into the emergency area and as soon as they saw that she was drenched in blood they rushed her into the emergency room and delivered me.  The doctor who delivered me was a, woman of color, from  South Africa and he named me Kimberly after the Kimberly diamond mines.

Black Women are born to be at the table

It sounds like you were born in to do this work!

I was tried of being the only, Black woman, in the room. I felt we as, Black women, have to do something to get , a seat at the table. If anyone was going to wave that flag of, diversity and inclusion, equity and of, diversity, it should be Goodwill Industries. So it really began then.  We started a task force with a group of CEOs and started to study, diversity and inclusion, and equity programs with fortune 500 companies and fortune 100 companies and other nonprofit organizations. We studied who was doing it well, what were they looking at, what were the metrics and how do you build that diverse pipeline.  We came up an implementation plan.

We were really intentional about attracting, maintaining and keeping a, diversity, workforce.  Whether it is individuals who are Hispanic or individuals who African-American or LGTBQ or disabled.  We recognize that all of that build a table of, diversity.

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The first time that I heard the phrase, a seat at the table, was from one of my coaching clients and I've heard it several times since. I heard Gabrielle Union say it that she's just gonna make her own table because you know the black actresses in Hollywood are still working to, get a seat at the table.  They go through the same discrimination with, diversity and inclusion.  It's not just in Corporate America or in the board rooms.

Women of Color getting a seat at the table

Kimberly you have, a seat at the table,  what advice would you give to women who are hitting the glass ceiling and get, no seat at the table.

African-American women unfortunately have been absent from the room!  We have not even been invited into the room much less have, a seat at the table, for quite some time.  Women in general have been hitting the glass ceiling for quite a long time.  I've heard that men are hired based on what their hiring manager or that supervisor thinks that they can do while women are hired or promoted based on performance.  it is that way because the majority of the, seats at the table, are already held by men.  Predominantly white males and they look for men who look like act like they came from where they come from.

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Black women in order to get, a seat at the table,  have to do 3 things:

  1. They have to network. It’s all about relationships. Else there is, no seat at the table. Everything that you do is about relationships and it's about networking.  If you didn't grow up playing golf, learn.  Go around places and do things that make you feel uncomfortable. But you must be part of the conversation. Go to the theater,  go to the Opera, you could serve as an usher and get free tickets.
  2. Get a mentor – All women should have a mentor.
  3. Get a Sponsor – a sponsor and a mentor are two different people. A mentor is someone that you can talk to about your fears and your aspirations. A mentor can give you sound advice and can talk you through some of the issues that you're having and help you create a plan a plan of attack.

A sponsor on the other hand is going to be that person who's going to make sure that you're invited to that meeting.  They're going to take you under their wing.  They're going to make sure that there's a place for you in the conversation and that there is, diversity and inclusion, that you are a part of the discussion. Sponsors are usually white males.

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Book: Seat at the table

Have you ever wished that you had the information to elevate the conversation at work on how to build a culture of diversity, equity and inclusion?  Well, now you do; with my newly published book A Seat At The Table or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis.  This book will give you examples of intentional efforts that will level the playing field and yield dividends for your career and your company. The book can be found on Amazon – A Seat at the Table Or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis or on www.motivationalmuse.com, so get your copy today and your seat at the table.

 

Additional Resources, A Seat at the Table

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

How to Ask for a Raise or Anything you Want in Life.

http://blog.myhelps.us/what-are-the-secrets-to-success-my-10-secrets/

https://www.demos.org/research/taking-our-seat-table-black-women-overcoming-social-exclusion-politics#Black-Women%E2%80%99s-Leadership:-Making-a-Way-out-of-No-Way

https://www.talentintelligence.com/blog/bid/377611/inclusion-and-the-benefits-of-diversity-in-the-workplace

 

blog, Executive Coaching, finding purpose, growth plan, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, natural talent, Out Of The Snares, Personal Development, Podcast, purpose, Self Love, setting goals, Spiritual Fulfillment, Spiritual Life Coaching

How to Find your Purpose and Destiny By Your Natural Abilities

 

One of the ways to  find your, purpose and destiny, is to to look inside at your natural ability. You were created with a, purpose. Find your, purpose and destiny, by looking at what you have in your hand.  There is something you can do better than anyone else on the planet. Seek and you will find it.

This week on #Mindset Transformation radio with coach Myrna, we give insights on 6 Ways to Find Your,  Purpose and Destiny. Coach Dan Willms and I  interview Keshia Marie Morris Desir, Political Activist, as she shares how she found her, purpose and destiny.

 

Introduction to Finding Your Purpose and Destiny

Purpose,  If you don't have one, you will will never feel that spiritual fulfillment.  The bible teaches that people without a, vision, shall, perish.

I feel that having, vision, lines up with your, purpose, because God places the desires into your heart of what you were born to do.
That is the same statement that God made to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. He told them that if they ate from the tree of knowledge, then they will surely die. And they did!
Not a physical death; but a spiritual death. In a similar way the bible teaches that people without a, vision, shall perish, again not a physical death, but in spirit
.
You see, having a, purpose, inspires you to live and not die!

I love this quote from the great Dr. Wayne Dyer

 

“Purpose, inspires you. When you are inspired by some great, purpose, some extraordinary project; all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new and wonderful world!” Dr. Wayne Dyer

That is what happened to my daughter Keshia Marie Morris. She became inspired after reading Nelson Mandela's book “A Long Walk to Freedom”

My partner coach Dan Willms and I interviewed Keshia on our show “You Asked for it”

Here is a poem Keshia wrote and I published in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” in my chapter on, Purpose and Destiny.

Out of the Snares

Order on Amazon

What is Purpose by Keshia Marie Morris Desir

Purpose, is continually evolving
When you emit God from your, purpose,
You close doors that God clearly opened
Know that God is behind your, purpose and destiny.
Take ownership of your, purpose and destiny, for it is not yours, but the Lords.

Purpose, requires you to be diligent
Rebuke laziness in the name of God
Have tunnel vision in regards to your, purpose
Focus on your, purpose and destiny.
Walk in your, purpose
Stand in your, purpose
Don’t forget your, purpose

Neglect those things that hinder your purpose and destiny
Don’t get caught up in daily living and,
Forget what God has purposed
You will never be perfect, only the God,
Who called you to your purpose is perfect!

Purpose, makes you leave what is comfortable
Purpose will help you endure what is uncomfortable
Just because you miss a short-term goal,
It does not take you away from your purpose

The end of your purpose is always bigger than you
Purpose, will always require some suffering!
Your, purpose and destiny, may have many fingers or parts
Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing,
Who will try to pull you away from your purpose

When you are weak, call on the Lord
Who is with you at ALL Times!
Through him all things are possible!!!
~Keshia Marie Morris

 

6 Ways to Find Your Purpose

1. To, find your purpose, look inside at your natural ability. You were created with a purpose. There is something you can do better than anyone else on the planet. Seek and you will find it.
2. Find your purpose, by paying attention to the things you like doing. The thing you would do for free. Ask yourself what would I do today if money was not a problem?
3. Find your passion. Do you want to help starving children in Africa? Do you want to stop domestic violence? Do you want to take big money out of politics? What injustice makes you mad? Don’t just talk about it, do something about it.
4. Keep learning and growing. Grow consciously. Read books. Attend seminars, hire a coach or a mentor.
5. Pray. Keep an open connection to God, so you are able to hear him through the Holy Spirit. Ask him what he wants you to do, and he will answer.
6. Reflection. Do you know what you are good at? Are you aware of your strengths? Find a quiet place every day and meditate. It is the only way to connect to source and find out who you truly are.

Understanding Purpose and Destiny

In the principles of, purpose and destiny, bear in mind that, destiny, demands fulfillment, and, purpose, expression. Both are the two-witness principle, as life is not about, purpose, alone. Both are essential for the fulfillment of what you were created for. For, purpose, without, destiny, is like having no real life at all. It's like being on earth illegally. Therefore, we must define life from a sense of, destiny, by God's purpose and design for our life, fulfillment, and the completion of God's eternal purpose. We are to consider chiefly that God has a, purpose, in each of us to be fulfilled, for we are purposed and perfected with a, purpose, and destined and designed with, destiny.
We should take into consideration that our, destiny, comes from the true meaning of what the Father has eternally purposed us for? According to Ephesians 1:18, do we realize that our purpose is centered and ordained in the SON? Or are we so self-driven with our own ambition to fulfill our own expectation and desires?

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To contact me to be a guest on this show or for sponsorship opportunities, please send me an email at info@myhelps.us or on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com

Additional Resources

Your Talent is Already in your Hand

 

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

book, coaching, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, motivation, Personal Development, Podcast, Self Love, setting goals, Spiritual Fulfillment, Spiritual Life Coaching, vision, women

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life’s Challenges Into Opportunity

Nothing is impossible, If you believe. How to turn life's challenges into opportunities of self-discovery and personal success.

Todays' guest on the Mindset Transformation Radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, is Dr. Sheila D. Williams. Dr Williams is the author of “My Mother's Keeper”

https://twitter.com/drsdwilliams

Nothing is impossible, always finish the race, don't be a quitter.

Come all the way through!
Don't stop in the middle, don't turn back!
Just finish the race.
Look at life like a long distance swim trip.

When you start out you have no idea what you are going to meet up with.
You can't predict the weather, the waves, or any other hazards and obstacles on your journey.
You have to make up in your mind, that you will Come all the way through, nothing is impossible.  That if you are able, you will finish the race.
If you get to the middle of the ocean and you run into a thunder storm for instance, you just can't stop.
Going back is just as perilous as going forward. You have to, believe in yourself. You must , believe.

That is exactly how life is, you can't predict the storms in life, you can't predict the challenges that you are going come up against.
You know that they will come. You have to decide up front to, believe in yourself.
You have to know for sure that, Nothing is Impossible, if you, believe.
God planted that goal or dream in you for a reason. You have something to give to mankind.

If you, believe, you will achieve!

You just have to keep moving forward, going back is death to your dreams, it should not be an option!

Show notes Nothing is Impossible 

Today's show discusses, mental illness, and how Dr. Williams cared for her mother as she suffered through clinical, depression.
Her purpose for writing this book is to shed light on this taboo topic and offer healing to her readers who may be going through something similar.
She decide to be very transparent on her mothers, clinical depression, and how she cared for her mother from the young age of 10.

Nothing is impossible, if you, believe. Listen to hear how Dr Sheila overcame her childhood story and succeed as a Mental Health Therapist/Counselor, a behavior Analyst, Published Author, Life Coach and Educational Director. She tells how she worked sometimes 4 jobs while caring for her terminally ill mother and still was able to earn her PH.D.

I know you've you have a really you know powerful story told in your first book My mother's Keeper.  What is the book about and what inspired you to write it.

Dr Sheila – My book is about my mother.  It is a very candid look into my life and me caring for my mother.  It took me about 40-plus years to be able to tell this story. I also tell my mother's story; it was a family secret. No one wanted to talk about my mother, mental illness and the fact that had, clinical depression.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

I felt for a very ashamed for a very long time in my life about my mother’s, mental illness, and depression so at the point when I decided to go ahead and be very candid and very transparent about my life it was for the purpose of healing. Not only for myself but for anyone else who have dealt with the stigma of, mental illness.

The stigma of  mental illness and clinical depression

I decided to write specifically about my mother and her, clinical depression, as a small child who had to care for her mom instead of the other way around.

People see the doctorate degree or the position that you hold with the company you work for, or you know they see your success in other things, but they don't realize behind the scenes, you had to tell yourself, nothing is impossible, to just get through the day.

You hear the phrase don't judge a book by its cover.  You see someone with the professional title and you see these accolades and all of the things that they've accomplished; but you have no idea of the struggle or the obstacles in which they've had to overcome to get to where they are.

So I wrote the book for numerous reasons:

  • To show that, nothing is impossible, if you, believe in yourself.
  • To show the effects on the family from, mental illness, and depression.
  • You can still accomplish whatever goal that you have in life regardless of your circumstances.

What was your motivation and how did you find the strength to push through?  Did you have a vision?

Dr Sheila – from a very young child maybe four or five six years old, I did not know that my mother had, clinical depression, I just knew she was a little bit different from other kids’ moms. My mother would not get out of bed for days on end. She would not open the blinds, just lay in bed in a dark room all day.

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Is it true that nothing is impossible?

Nothing is impossible,  This means that anything is possible. Dr Sheila did not have the nurture from her mom and dad.  When she became grown, she decided she wanted to become a doctor.  She worked 5 jobs to put herself through school because she did not want student loans.  Believe in the, impossible. However, just because something is possible does not mean that it is easy, or that it should be done at all. If you use this statement, you are probably referring to something which is very difficult to accomplish or labeled, impossible.

Connect with Coach Myrna on Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/

Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/

Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris

web: www.myrnayounghelps.com

To download a copy of Coach Myrna's book “How to Mind your own business while working your day job”

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

https://myhelps.us/small-business-ebook/

Listen and Subscribe to my YouTube Channel.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-mothers-abandonment/

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

 

blog, coaching, happiness, How to be happy, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, positive change, purpose, setting goals, Spiritual Fulfillment, Spiritual Life Coaching, women

The Power and Purpose of Journalling

 

Journalling, can help women experiencing problems who are feeling stuck to form solutions by writing their down. My guest today is Margaret Elizabeth Hulse, a novelist who uses her fine art and jewelry designs to illustrate her, journalling, stories. Margaret writes stories with her body, mind, spirit that she says exist in the beauty of Texas, the Caribbean, and New Orleans.

Journalling, can be inspired to transcend from the monotony of day to day, obligatory tasks and into a life life filled with passion and purpose from the power and purpose of, journalling. She says “I write relatable, yet sensual, passionate stories that take my readers on new adventures and create custom jewelry so that the wearer has something unique to set her apart from the typical, ‘go-to’ designs. I evoke an excitement that people feel they haven’t been able to tap into for a while, whether it’s because they’ve been hurt, or have simply lost themselves as they’ve tried to make ends meet.”

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How to Start Journaling

Margaret feels that through, journalling, she learned how to manifest her dream work through writing her way out of a trauma. Her first published journal simply titled, “Sketchbook,” is an illustrated short story that serves as a preamble to her novel, Sketches from the Heart of a Texas Artist. I write and speak often about the power of healing through creativity and how the more you write about something, the more likely it is to come to fruition.

On a personal note on, how to start journalling, I have always journaled to download and to write down my goals and dreams. The power and purpose for my, journalling, for me has been manifested in my life over and over.

There are 3 ways to attract anything into your life. First you think it in your mind, then you speak it into the atmosphere, then you write it down to give it form!

Journalling, can also help you out of a bad mood.
You Can Write Your Way Out of an Emotional Funk. Here’s How.

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A, journalling, story:

James Pennebaker, a distinguished professor at the University of Texas, got married right out of college in the early ‘70s. Three years after his marriage, he and his wife started to question their relationship, and Pennebaker, confused and unsettled, sank into a depression. He ate less, drank more, and started smoking. Embarrassed by what he saw as emotional weakness, he became more and more isolated.

One morning about a month into this decline, Pennebaker climbed out of bed and sat down at a typewriter. He stared at the machine for a moment, then started writing freely and frankly about his marriage, his parents, his sexuality, his career, and even death.

As he wrote, and continued to write in the days that followed, something fascinating happened. His depression lifted and he felt liberated. He began to reconnect with his deep love for his wife. But the writing had an even farther-reaching impact. For the first time, he started to see the purpose and possibilities in his life.

Pennebaker’s own experience with, journalling, helped him get through this rocky period sparked 40 years of research about the links between writing and emotional processing. Over and over again Pennebaker did studies in which he divided people into two groups and asked some to, journal,  about emotionally significant experiences, and the others to write about common things: their shoes, or maybe the cars passing on the street. Both groups wrote for the same span—about 20-minutes a day, three days in a row.

In each study, Pennebaker found that the people who wrote about emotionally charged episodes experienced marked improvement in their physical and mental well-being. They were happier, less depressed and less anxious. In the months after the, journalling,  sessions, they had lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and fewer visits to the doctor. They also reported better relationships, improved memory, and more success at work.

How to become a Life coach

Is your purpose in life to help others achieve fulfillment in theirs?

Then maybe becoming a Life Coach is the career for you.

Email me at info@myhelps.us for your FREE copy of my eBook “How to become a Life coach”

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

blog, coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Out Of The Snares, Personal Development, Podcast, transform your mind, women

7 Ways to Get Unstuck and Take Back Your Power

One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?

Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Being stuck, is a place of no personal power

https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ

What it feels like to be stuck

A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was,  stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.

She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck,  she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister's home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister's home, because she didn't have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!

How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is  when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.

How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?

How do you find the strength to want something better?

How did I coach this situation?

This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.

You see you can't see the frame when you are the picture!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Coaching to Get Unstuck

I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister's lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn't cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.

You can't plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.

I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.

1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck 

Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.

Faith, that even though you can't see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.

The message of, faith, in this story is that you can't think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship,  being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.

Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.

My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don't let him convince you that you are, stuck.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.

The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don't feel like doing until you feel like doing it!

Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.

You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don't let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don't stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can't take big steps
Automatic negative thoughts don't take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.

Similarly, being stuck,  on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.

It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.

It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.

3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck

What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.

One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can't coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.

4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can't or won't move right now.

I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!

So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn't know any better.

If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn't know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.

This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.

Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.

5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself

  • Come back to the problem later
  • Write out options and solutions
  • Write out the worrying situation
  • Write what you can do about it
  • Write what you cannot control about it.

6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.

The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.

Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.

Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.

Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.

Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.

Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.

As Neapolitan Hill said

As a man thinking so is he.

Shakespeare puts it another way

“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself

You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances

Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.

You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.

What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?

I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.

We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.

Use your negative energy to get unstuck

Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can't know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!

She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.

She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!

To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Adobe Photoshop PDF

Out of the Snares

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to be Happy with Less

 

 

Entrepreneur, Executive Coaching, improving sales, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Development, small business

Get Rapid Results- Eat That Frog

As a Leader, You have the vision, you have identified where you are on the map. You have even written out your goals on paper, so now what?
Now you have to take action. You have to start to, eat that frog,  starting with the largest frogs.  Frogs, are the jobs that you wish you didn't have to do. Tadpoles are the jobs you like to do!

As a start-up Entrepreneur for example, You need to lobby for Capital;
You need to build your team;
You need to launch your product or service.

If you Build it, they will Come!

How do you decide which is the ugliest and biggest, frog, to eat first?
Most entrepreneurs manage by crises.
The, frog, they eat first is the one that is on fire!

Here are 5 ways to strategically, eat that frog, starting with the ugliest one first!

  1. Eat that frog, the largest and ugliest frog first: this is usually marketing.
    Your company will rise or fall depending on your marketing strategy.
    Eat that frog, get your marketing message out. Marketing is the life blood of your organization.

What is your marketing budget?
What kind of money do you want to make?
Are you hoping to make $50,000 per year or $5,000,000 per year?
These are the questions that need to be answered before you, eat that frog.  Begin eating your marketing frog.
You need to set the table before you, eat that frog. How many plates do you need? Are you eating alone or will others be joining you? What are some of the sides that go well with marketing frog eating?

Eat your biggest and ugliest frog first

The ugliest and biggest, frog, is usually picking up the phone and start dialing. In the Pursuit of
Happyness movie which documents a real life event, Chris Gardner's, frog,  was to make 200 calls per day. He, ate that frog,  daily until he was full as a millionaire!.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

2: Don't stare at your, frogs, too long. Just, eat that frog, If it is a really ugly and unappetizing frog, just gulp it down with one big bite; don't cut it up into little pieces.
For example, lets say you decide that today you are going to start your campaign to get funding for your new project. You go through your Rolodex and start calling Venture Capitalists. This frog taste bad; but you eat all of it. You, eat that frog, You don't stop eating until you have called all the Venture Capitalists on your list.
If you decide for instance to only make 5 calls today and 5 tomorrow, guess what? Tomorrow you going to procrastinate because you hated eating the frogs from yesterday and your mind will gravitate to eating a pleasant tadpole!, Eat that frog,  at one sitting and get it out of the way!

3: Celebrate yourself. Pump your fist and pat yourself on the back after you, eat that frog.
You had the courage to do something hard; you did it!!

4: Record your Growth.
Remember when you were a child, your doctor would measure your growth and your weight every time you went to see him? He did this because how much you grew was an indication of how healthy you were.
In a similar way, how much you are growing as a Leader and how much your company grew within a certain period of time is an indication of the health of your company. Growth always depends on how you, eat that frog.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Eat Your Personal Growth Frog

One of the, frogs, you as the Leader of your organization, team or self, MUST eat is the, frog, of Personal Growth. If you don't, eat that frog, of personal growth, frog, then your company is guaranteed to become stunted and stop growing. Personal growth includes working with a, executive Coach to Helps you:

  • accomplish your vision for yourself or company,
  • to establish accountability,
  • to uncover blind spots,
  • to sound out new ideas and get feedback.
  • It involves reading self improvement books and attending seminars in your industry. As the CEO you are the lid! Your company rises or falls under your Leadership so, eat that frog, of personal growth.

5: Eat all your frogs, do not leave anything on your plate.
Let's say you have 10 frogs on your plate. You, ate that frog, the  first two they were the largest and ugliest ones. You may be tempted to bypass or eliminate some of the others; but every one of the frogs you added to your plate had a specific purpose and is tied to a result. Throwing away your peas because you don't like it, directly impacts the health of your organization. So, eat that frog, eat everything on your plate and your success will be guaranteed!

In Brian Tracy's book “Eat that Frog” He lists the, rules of frog eating.

Set Goals

The first, rule of frog eating, is to define your largest, frogs, first.  The more clear you are about what you want and what you have to do to achieve it, the easier it is for you to overcome procrastination, eat that frog, and get on with the completion of the task.

The no. 1 way to deal with procrastination is to set goals.

Take a blank sheet of paper and write down your top 10 goals you want to achieve this year.

Clarity will give you the ability to know which, frogs, you must eat first to complete your goals.

80/20 Rule

Pareto principle “Small amount of your activities are leading to a huge amount of your results.

Take time to figure out what those things are and do them more often.

For example: If you have 10 things on the list. there is a high probability that 2 things will get you 80% of the success you want.

So it’s crucial to identify what are the 1-2 things you must do now. These things will lead to great majority of your success.

The largest frogs always make the biggest impact so,  eat that frog.

Oil Barrels

What we want to do is to have micro goals. Don’t overwhelm yourself, thinking you need to get your goals in just one big step.

This is not going to happen. If you think that, you will procrastinate.

On the other side, if you break down you big goal to tiny little steps and micro goals you can do amazing things.

I-Handle

We waste a lot of time to distract ourselves. Being distracted is the worst enemy of productivity.

Now for example: If you turn off your email notifications, you’ll probably increase your productivity by 10 % – daily.

You don’t want to start something, check an email and then start working again on your task.

That kind of multitasking is horrible for your productivity. If you're doing that, you have to constantly get your momentum back, figuring out where you left off and it takes you forever to do that task.

It’s very important to do one thing at the time. Get in the habit of finishing things. You start it, you finish it.

If you have a habit of allowing yourself to be distracted, you must discipline yourself to single handle things. You’ll notice your productivity will go way up.

Additional Resources 

https://youtu.be/upTSpDSp15k

How to Consciously Plan Personal Growth

Growth Hacks, to Win the Internet Game

 

 

blog, child abuse, coaching, How to be happy, Life Coaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Podcast, Self Love

How to be Confident after a Divorce

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Building true,  confidence, after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. How to be confident, after a, divorce, is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident, person overnight. But if you're in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips on, how to be confident, after losing your man.

This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your, confidence, back after a, divorce, of death of a spouse.”

 

10 Tips on How to Build Confidence:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a, self-confidence,  killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you're only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what's important–your own strengths and goals.

2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.

3. Live in a positive reality.
Don't say anything about yourself that you don't want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won't make you a more, confident, person, but, confident, people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you're capable of and what you've already accomplished.

4. Don't mask it.
Self-confidence, isn't the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It's all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.

5. Change what you can.
Confident, people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.

6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you're probably on the right track! Don't procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.

7. Practice Self Love

8. Take action to get back on the horse. Don't isolate yourself 

9. Have a Level 5 Friend to share your darkest thoughts

10. Complete yourself and not wait for someone to complete you

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

The nature of confidence

You should not allow your, confidence, to be dictated by someone else’s feelings in any facet of your daily life. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs, and you should never allow someone else to sink yours like an anchor, just because you have been through the, divorce, experience.

Your behavior should not be driven by the emotions of anyone, especially your ex-spouse.  They may attempt to reenter the picture for whatever reason, and while that reason may be valid and may need to be dealt with, there is no reason you should allow their thoughts and their feelings to bring you down or shatter any progress you have made in rebuilding your confidence.

You cannot and should not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way. If you sense that the conversation is headed in a direction that you are not comfortable with, it is imperative that you exercise some, self-love, and remove yourself from any narrative that would damage your post-divorce recovery process.

You need to be able to believe in your ability to rebuild your life and move forward. After a, divorce, you may begin to question your ability to make life decisions, but do not let one setback color your perspective and prevent you from making these types of calls.

Whether it is through your job, your friends, your family, or a new relationship, you can make different aspects of your new life matter and move past the negativity of a dysfunctional and unhappy marriage. Your productivity in starting over and taking each step to a new future is something you should be proud of and should give you the, confidence, boost you need to take additional steps.

If you like this content, please subscribe to my iTunes podcast and leave a review. Thank you
Transform your Mind iTunes podcast

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-raise-your-self-esteem-by-erasing-self-doubt/

 

coaching, finding purpose, healthy relationships, Life Coaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Podcast, purpose, Self Love

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

You can, find your purpose, in life by paying attention to your passions. Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem.

Are you lifted by your purpose? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio and Podcast, I interview Ms Arifah Yusuf who is not only lifted by her, purpose, but founded a company called Lifted By Purpose where she helps youths in Toronto, Canada to become lifted by their purpose.

As Arifah was working with the youth she noticed their tattoos and decided to have a spin off company called Tattoo Stories. She used the tattoos stories to help her clients share their stories through the images they permanently put on their bodies.

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

How we perceive images can help us, find your purpose.

How you react to an image can tell you a lot about you, including your, life’s purpose.
Art speaks to us because it’s about us. It’s about our collective and individual journeys in this wondrous, immeasurable universe.

As Chuck Klosterman said, “Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.”  Images stir up numerous emotions in the beholder: awe, shock, sorrow, rage, and even repulsion. You may feel an intense, nameable emotion within seconds of seeing an image, or it could take several minutes of staring at the image before you can decide what it means to you. And as art is as diverse as the people who create and perceive it, the responses to it naturally vary. Art can play a crucial role in self-discovery and an individual’s, purpose in life.

Image test to find your purpose

Click the link below to take your image, purpose, test and see what it shows is your, purpose.

https://themindsjournal.com/this-image-test-will-reveal-your-true-purpose-in-life/

I took this test and my test revealed that my purpose was to spread Happiness. So True.

“Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem. You can distinguish the lightness from the darkness and this is what takes you to another level. With happiness, everything can be cured and your purpose is to spread this feeling in times most needed.”

Bio

Arifah Yusuf, is a registered social worker from Ryerson University. She has 12 years experience engaging and developing programs for youth, facilitating workshops and providing counseling services. Ms. Yusuf was nominated and awarded the Community Health Champion Award for her dedication working with youth. In 2015 she received the leadership award from Canadian Alliance of Black Educators and in 2016, the Ontario Leading Women in Community Award.

She is trained and certified by the National Organization for Victims Assistance, Traumatology institute, and is a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. In her role at Lifted By purpose, she is the Founder and Executive Director.

 

How did you find your purpose?

Can you tell us your journey as a social worker and how it transitioned into founding Lifted by Purpose?
I grew up a a rough neighborhood in Toronto. As a youth, I had a family member who died from Homicide and that affected me profoundly; but I did not have an outlet to grieve so I became very depressed. As I got older, I wanted to become a social worker so I can help other youths who experienced trauma to have a space to talk and get help. This is how I found my, purpose.

Today “Lifted by purpose” helps youths, find their purpose, and provides services to help the youth with coping skills and prepare for a purposeful future.

Using tattoo stories to find the meaning of life

You have an offspring from Lifted by purpose called Tattoo stories. Can you tell our audience what that is about and how tattoo helps youths find their, purpose.

During counselling I started asking my clients to tell me their stories about the permanent tattoos on their bodies. I found that these tattoos were connected to their, purpose in life. Most life events are marked with a tattoo.

Services offered to help find your purpose

What are some projects and services provided by Lifted by purpose.
At Lifted by Purpose we focus on the arts.
Some of our services are:

  • Music stress program 10 to 20 weeks
  • Playlist therapy that identifies tracks that speak to grief or loss
  • How to have healthy Relationships
  • How to identify triggers that move them into making bad choices
  • Identify coping skills
  • Tattoo stories and what they mean

I see from the information you provided me for the interview that your target audience is young people between the ages of 16 to 29 years who are at risk or already in the justice system. How does your program help these young people, find your purpose.

Our program helps our youth to harness their story

  • Understand how to utilize their stories to understand themselves.
  • Reflect on how their stories has influenced their choices in life
  • How to flip a negative story into something positive
  • Action steps. Are they ready to make a change
  • How does their story affect their purpose and lift them up.

How does Tattoo stories tie into meaning of life

Tattoo stories Helps the youth understand their, purpose and have a voice that can help others on their journey.

 

Order Here

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/6-ways-to-find-your-purpose/

 

 

blog, coaching, Executive Coaching, growth plan, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Podcast, positive change, purpose, Self Love, setting goals, Spiritual Life Coaching

When The Vision Fails: Dealing with Failure

What happens when the vision ends? dealing with failure. In November 2016, most of the country was left in shock when Donald Trump won the general elections, because he did not win the popular vote. Hilary Clinton , failed, at her bid once again to become the first woman president of the United States of America. This was the second time an non established candidate knocked her off the podium. What was the cause of this, failure? I understand Hilary had a hard time, dealing with failure. Why did a woman who has been in politics for over 50 years, been the wife of a great president, founder of a great charitable foundation that provides vaccines for millions of poor children around the world, a champion for the people, lose to a man with no political experience, thinks that some people are superior to some because of their religion, sex and disability?

Was this, failure, because first and foremost she is a woman? It is harder, dealing with failure, when you lost because you are a woman.

 

Overcoming Failure

In Numbers 27 we see the daughters of Zelophehad, challenging an age-old law that said the women could not inherit the land. In those days’ women were not even counted as part of the church congregation. This was the pre-CHRIST era. Yet today we are still fighting for women's rights.
Millions of men and women in the United States of America voted for Donald J Trump because he is a white male. One of my followers on Facebook posted that Hilary couldn't run the country because she is a woman!

Let's bring this discussion closer to home. Specifically, your home.

What happens when you have a clear, vision, that you worked on every day for most of your life and you fail to realize it time and time again? How do you, deal with failure? The bible says “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Refuse to be deterred by opinions, policies, and traditions. Do you become disheartened, dealing with failure? God can change the minds and hearts of the populist. What he did for the daughters of Zelophehad, he can do for Hilary Clinton and he can do for you. We can, overcome failure, by keeping the, vision, in front of you and get back up every time you get knocked down.

 

5 things you can do after, failure, of a goal, company, dream, marriage etc.

1: Watch your Thoughts

Most of us do not understand the power of our thoughts.
Dealing with failure, our thoughts are the highest energy frequency, and has the power to attract like thoughts floating around in the energy vortex. If you don't watch your thoughts and consciously send back the negative thoughts that make you feel bad, you will experience, failure, for sure. Before you know it you would be a powerful magnet attracting every like thought that comes into range. Keep this up and soon you will be like a hot air balloon that is too filled with poop to take off!

2: Find the good in the situation is another tip to, dealing with failure

Shakespeare says

“Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

Brian Webb author of “Don't Give Up, don't ever give up“ shares his story in his book with that name and is great advice for, dealing with failure.
One day he had a headache like he had never felt before, extremely intense, he felt like he needed to throw up so he went to the bathroom. While in the bathroom he and passed out. He woke up 3 days later from a coma to find out that a blood vessel had ruptured in his brain. He could no longer walk or talk. He realized that life as he knew it, was over.
Doctors predicted that he would never be able to walk, drive a car or live independently again.

Three months later he was released from the hospital. He couldn't talk, walk, or work. In fact, there was a lot of things he couldn't do. But he decided to focus on what he could do instead. You heard the saying. When life gives you lemons, or, failure? You make lemonade! Well he decided to make some lemonade.

There is good in every situation, we live in a world of contrast. Nothing exists without its opposite. Find the good in your situation.
Brian decided to focus on fitness.

With the help of his therapist he began to exercise. He began learning to walk again. When he fell down, or experienced, failure, he would get back up. Walking turned to running. This man who could not walk a year ago, now became a marathon runner! I am in perfect physical health and I can't even run a 5K race without stopping and I would guess this would be true for most of you listening. What makes some people hold a vision in front of them and don't take failure as an option, while others give up after the first try?

Why is Brian's story so inspirational? Because of his way of, dealing with failure. He turned his, failure, into triumph. He decided to focus on what he could do instead of what he couldn't do, and with practice and time, changed his life trajectory. He walked again, talked again, ran again and worked again! What do you need to get back on? I can promise you that if you work at it, you will succeed.
Where there is a will, there is always a way.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

3: Change the momentum after Failure 

I love Abraham by Ester Hicks. I was listening to one of her videos a few months back and someone in her workshop asked her why he kept attracting negative experiences even though he was conscious about his energy vortex and made conscious effort to clean up his vortex. Your vortex is your energy frequency or your aura.

Abraham's response was to explain momentum. Ever heard the saying:

The worst it gets, the worst it gets, and the better it gets, the better it gets?

That is all about momentum. If you think bad thoughts and feel bad, then you attract more, failure. The only way to stop the negative spiral of, failure, or negative momentum is to find something about the situation to be grateful for.

Let's say you are Nick Vujicic and you were born with no arms and no legs. Can you think of a worst fate? You are totally dependent on someone to bath you, feed you, and wipe your butt, for the rest of your life. He can't even hug his wife. Yet Nick is one of the happiest people you will ever meet. He found many things to be grateful for and because his vortex is full of positive momentum, he attracts great things. He travels all around the world getting paid to speak and motivate others. He has a beautiful wife and son. He learned to swim, use his toes as his hand and do lots of things people with hands and feet take for granted.

The thing about momentum is that it resets itself while you are asleep and is great for, dealing with failure. When you sleep, your spirit leaves your body in much the same way it does when your body dies. So, you have to deliberately keep the negative momentum going by thinking negative thoughts when you wake up in the morning. One way to change the momentum is to develop the practice of thinking of things you are grateful for before bed and on rising. The other is to find something in the situation to be grateful for. In the case of Hilary Clinton. She could be grateful that she will not speed up her aging by 20 years in the time span of 4 years. We all see what that job does to Presidents! It is a time warp!

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4: Look for an alternate way to serve, what is your plan B?

I was watching Oprah, another of my favorite people, on Super Soul Sunday a few months back and this very inspirational story was showcased.
This story was about this boy now man who had a, vision, from God when he was 10 years old of swinging his daughter around while she was laughing hysterically. He even got her name in his vision, Cloe. He held this, vision, to his heart dearly and never doubted for a moment that this, vision, would come true and that one day he would have a daughter just like he saw. Cloe had olive skin and brown eyes.

In his early 20's, he started dating and subsequently fell in love with his childhood friend who was blond with fair skin and blue eyes. Having the vision of his daughter clearly in his mind, he didn't think that this was the woman God intended for him to marry, because she could not be the mother of a child with olive skin and brown eyes.
One day they were sitting in his car discussing the future and started talking about children. His girlfriend told him that she wanted a daughter and that she would like to name her Cloe. He couldn't believe it.

Would you have liked to be a fly on the wall when they both discovered that they were meant to be together, because God gave them both the same dream! Halelewa!
He knew that this was the girl that God chose for him to marry.

They got married and immediately started trying to have a family, they couldn't wait to meet Cloe; but nothing happened. Four years passed, six years passed. The pain was deep from this, failure.  How could God give them both a, vision, that failed. How could he be so cruel. For a time, they both became separated from God. They no longer believed. But their faith returned!
The obvious next choice was adoption but they both rejected that option at first. They both wanted their own child. They wanted the baby girl named Cloe. They thought adoption was putting a band aid over their pain.

Finally, after many years of, dealing with failure, they made the mindset shift and decided to adopt a baby. They found an alternative way to fulfill their purpose of being parents.
They waited for some time for the right fit. Months passed before they received an email that a pregnant mother had chosen them to be parents of her unborn child. She was giving it up for adoption. She was also having a girl!

There were exhilarated! Finally, they were going to be parents of a baby girl. They started choosing a name. Cloe was off the table. Cloe was the name of the baby girl God had intended for them to have. This baby girl was not the vision that God had given both of them.

They decided to meet the mother of their new baby girl and get to know her. They drove to her home and when she opened the door, the man noticed that she looked like a grown-up version of the little girl named Cloe that he saw when he was 10 years old. Same olive skin, same features, same eyes. When they sat down to visit with the mother. She asked them if they had a name picked out for the baby. She told them she had a name and she hoped they would keep it. Can you guess what it was? I am sure 100% of you listening would guess right. Cloe.
Still gives me chills. I don't know what will be Hilary's path, history will let us know but I know for sure that if the, vision, comes from God, there is never, failure.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

5: Remember that there are several routes to your destination if you experience failure

Don't get tied to a particular path. God is like your GPS navigation system, he can take the fastest route, the scenic route, he can bypass the city and construction zones; but he will get you to your destination. God gave this couple a, vision, that they will be parents of a baby girl named Cloe. He never showed them a vision of the wife being pregnant or delivering a baby. They added that little piece. He showed the man a, vision, of him playing with a daughter named Cloe. He showed him the destination.

If you believe that your, vision, is from God, then when you experience, failure, you would refuse to be deterred. You would not grow weary and disheartened. In, dealing with failure, you would look for an open door, you would look for the lesson so that you can be better prepared for the next battle. You would never quit until you WIN or you DIE. God said in the bible “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” So hear this, if you have failed in something, know that it is not the end!

As I wrap up this post from the Transform Your Mind radio show and podcast. Today I have been coaching on “When The Vision Fails: 5 Things you can do after a failure.” I hope you gleamed something and had a few aha moments. If you have experienced failure, I hope you were encouraged to get up and try again.

You can listen again to this broadcast and any of my previous shows by downloading then on iTunes.
Please remember to subscribe and leave a review.

If you would like to contact me for personal coaching or to be a guest on this radio show and podcast please contact me on the web @ www.myrnayounghelps.com

Additional Resources

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

coaching, Life Coaching, Love and Religion, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Podcast

The Alchemy of Desire: The Power of Attention

Attention, is the magical process of that facilitates the transformation of your desire, to reality. This Alchemy of, desire, allows this transformation to happen faster if we empower it with, attention.

In this episode we are going to teach you how to use the, Power of Attention, to manifest all your dreams and desires.

What is, desire, – desire, can be called the feminine face of God! I love this sentence! desire, is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

The Alchemy of Desire

We, desire, our partners physically and spiritually,

  • we, desire, our careers,
  • we, desire, to procreate and have children,
  • we, desire, to be emotionally and physically healthy,
  • we, desire, to be wealthy
  • but most of all we, desire, to fulfill our purpose on this earth and leave it a better place then we found it.

We talked about how to manifest the, desires,  of your Heart. The first step is knowing what you want. The second step is adding, attention, to it.

We talked on how to use the, Energy of Desire, to create something magical. If you missed those 2 episodes, please listen to then my iTunes podcast

Power of Attention

Today I want to talk about the “Power of Attention”
• Now that we know what we want.
• We know how to use the energy of, attention, to engage the laws of attraction.
• Now we want to light our, desire, afire with, Attention.”

You remember as a kid you would hold a magnet over a piece of paper and have the, attention, of the sun light the paper afire?  That is what the, Power of Attention, can do to your, desires.

So, lets dive right in.

Using the power of attention to attract your soulmate

Tune in to Sticher to listen to my guest tell her personal story of using, The Power of Attention, after her divorce to attract her soulmate.

The word, desire, does not only belong with, sexual desires. As a, Mindset Coach, today I want to show you how the energy of, Power of Attention, to transform your, desires, into something magical.

Activating The power of Attention

Attention,  is your power source. Rarely does a quality life just show up by chance. What you give your, attention, to expands.
If you want your dream to come through, you have to do more than dream. You must focus your, attention, and activate, the power of Attention.

The power source for having an Intention that comes through is, Attention. What you pay, Attention, to will grow.

If your intention comes from the level of your true self, it can attract anything. Attention, activates the, energy of Attraction.

Every wish or, desire, is like a tiny seed that contains the blueprint for the tree that manifests from the seed. The seed of, desire, which is also the seed of any Intention needs nourishment to grow.

How to Manifest your Desire

If you want your, desire, to manifest here are some important ways to put the right, attention, on it:

1. Have a clear intention or goal; don't muddy it with doubt and fear regarding why it won't come true.

2. Have positive emotions around your, desire. Feel how good it will be to fulfill it and hold it in your hands.

3. Believe that what you want is beneficial to you without any negative consequences to those around you.

4. Be prepared for any response the Universe brings and be flexible to where you go from there.

5. Feel confident that hidden sources will come to your aide once your, desires, are released to the universe.

6. Find time to meditate on your, desires. At the level of the soul, the energy of attraction, is most powerful.

 

Using the Power of Attention for Love

Margo, how can someone use the, Power of Attention, to change someone’s feelings about them?

I have known lot of men who are able to woo women by paying them, attention. I have been on the receiving end of, attention, that changed my feelings for a partner a few times in my life. My Pastor once said that women are responders, I agree.

In our last blog post we talked about 4 of the ways renowned sexologist Jaiya believes that we are wired. We discussed the:

  • Energetic,
  • the Sensual,
  • the Sexual and
  • the Kinky sexual types.

 

  • Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch? Today I though we could look at the Shape Shifter who can be all those energies.

Here are the 5 Sexual or Erotic Blueprints.

6. Energetic: Turned on by space, tease and anticipation.
7. Sensual: Turned on by comfort, relaxation and all the senses ignited.
8. Sexual: Turned on by nudity and flat out sexual intercourse.
9. Kinky: Turned on by the taboo and power play.
10. Shapeshifter: Turned on by all of the above.

Margo, since today we are looking at ,The Power of Attention, how can a woman who is the, Shape Shifter, to create something magical in the bedroom?

This episode of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast is being brought to you by Hypnosis Everywhere and M-I-X- A-M-O-R-E.

Today we talked about, The Power of Attention, and to use this energy to create transformation in your lives.
•
I want to leave you with this thought. When all three legs of the tripod are in place –

  • Focused Attention,
  • Flexible consciousness
  • and pure awareness; the path is open.

 

You become the conscious master, the Energy of Attraction, is activated.

There are certain things that hinder the manifestation of, desire. Severe obstacles such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, substance abuse and toxic relationships block the manifestation of your desires. It gets tangled up in personal problems.
So be sure to meditate on your, desires, and rid yourself of toxicity either from substance abuse or toxic relationships.

If you found this episode inspirational or you learned anything, Please subscribe to my Itunes podcast and rate and review this Episode, so we can be encouraged to bring you more episodes every week.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/alchemy-desire-episode-5-long-term-relationship-dance/