The Millennials and Gen Z Playbook: Unpacking Limiting Beliefs

Arika Pierce is a generational strategist and Attorney, author, a, millennial coach, and speaker.   She introduced me to this new Terms, Xennial, and, Gen Z.  Arika has a unique perspective and
has developed strategies and techniques to bridge, Millennials, and,  Gen Z, to generations before and after them.

The term, Gen Z, is the micro generation between, Generation X, and, millennial. I was born in March 1980 and, Millennials, you know the years vary a little bit in terms of the source the
source that’s defining, Millennials, but usually they’re born between 1981 and 1996; and so I’m sort of in this in-between place where I remember life without you know technology being in
your hands and having the internet.  I remember way before any apps.

The, millennial, generation is better understood than the, Gen Z, and they’re more successful, they don’t necessarily live up to the bad rap that they get in the media and from other folks so helping
them to sort of break out of that, millennial, negative brand.

All right, so what do you feel are some of the limiting mindsets that Millennials have?

I’d like to turn to your book on page 15, you say that, Millennials, are described as Entitled, Impatient, Tech Obsessed, Pampered, Self-absorbed and Lazy.
So, that’s how people feel about them; but how do they feel about themselves? According to your research how does that affect some of the limiting mindsets that they have?

I think it’s a great question,  I wish more people would Ask, because I feel like there’s lots of people that are talking about what they think, Millennials, are like and
not as many people asking what do, Millennials, and, Gen Z, know themselves. How do they view themselves? I’ll say this I think that, Millennials, don’t view themselves as any of these of these adjectives that you just Listed. Certainly none of these are very Positive; but I do think that they have a mindset that backed by parts of their upbringing. So, for example Millennials are definitely part of that feeling everyone gets a trophy generation.  They definitely have a mindset where everyone is equal. I think in many ways that can be limiting especially as they transition to adults and transition into their careers and into the workplace.

Do Gen Z feel Entitled?

The reason why I say this is because I think, Gen Z, oftentimes feel they’re entitled. They feel that on their first day of work they could be the boss.
Even though they have zero work experience, they still feel that everyone is equal and so they should have all the same access and an ability to share their mind and speak
their views.

Gen Z, communicate and the level of transparency that they’re they’ve grown accustomed to again I think you know for, Gen Z, the mindset is that communication should be quick, it should be easy, you don’t necessarily have to think too much about it, you could just send someone over a text message.

I think that can be limiting especially as you transition to work. Sometimes we need to be more thoughtful with our approaches especially at work and in professional capacities. I mean
sometimes you need to think through what you say, and how you say it, who you’re saying it to.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

 

Can you explain it what exactly is adulting and how does that relate to our topic on millennials today?

Adulting,  just means that you’re doing the duties and the responsibilities of a fully developed adult. Millennials, use it a lot you know to be funny; but I do think that there
is that the term does make a lot of sense.  I mean I think it could be used as both a verb and an noun.  I do think for, Gen Z, specifically the transition to adulting has been a
little bit tougher than previous Generations. So that’s why there’s so much emphasis on, adulting.

I see with a lot of, Millennials, that I Coach, I am a, millennial coach, there is a reluctance to sort of let go from Childhood.

What are some of the plays that you talked about in your book to help Millennials transition to, adulting?

What I try to do in the book is give very actionable advice. It’d be really easy to write a book and say go out and be a successful adult and make good decisions,  Exercise, drink water, and keep a job and save money right? I would say a lot of us don’t create goals; but the specifics are not there.  So I really use every chapter to give very clear or actionable advice on how to do specific things. For
Example, when I talk about how to look for a job.  I go through the Specifics.

Why it’s important to have things like a LinkedIn profile, when you’re applying for jobs.
How to make sure that you are presenting your best self on interview day.  What to do in terms of following up after an interview.
Once you have the job, how to keep the job and again I am very specific. I say things like on your first day set three goals of the things that you
want to accomplish at that job.

Career Advice for Millennials

Do you want to work on a certain project? Do you want to get promoted within six months? Things like That. I go again very detailed to make sure you get to work on
Time. Getting to work on time, being at your desk ready to work as soon as you know you’re supposed to be there. Etc.
Networking when you go to a networking event make sure you speak with three people and stay 30 minutes after. All of those types of things make you a successful adult. That’s why I called it a,
playbook.

I tell stories of based upon my own, adulting, experiences.

I like what you say about your brand is that you are the CEO of ME Incorporated, the chief marketing officer for the brand to call you.
As a coach that’s what I teach my clients, that you are you are the lid.

Conclusion

Arika how you readers pick up a copy of your book?

To purchase a copy of my book “ The Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting” you can visit Arika on the web @

www.arikapierce.com

Remember to subscribe to the #1 podcast on iTunes

The time is NOW to transform your MINDSET so that you can LIVE YOUR BEST LIVES NOW!

Additional resources 

https://blog.myhelps.us/coach-myrna-7-ways-to-get-unstuck-from-old-patterns/

 

How to Find Happiness After a Tough Year

Pursuit of Happiness

 

How to find happiness, after a tough year, your circumstances could be bad. You could have gotten a divorce, you could have lost a job, you could have lost a loved one.  Can you find, happiness, after a loss? In the, pursuit of happiness, guru’s teach that, happiness, could only be found on the inside, so we can be happy regardless of losing a loved one, losing our job, a sickness, or divorce.

But the question is portable because we can add anything after the, How to find happiness,  after….! We can add, How to find happiness, after my kids leave home, or, how to find happiness, after someone close to me dies, or, how to find happiness, after I lose my job etc..
We can substitute any phrase.

Happiness, comes from the inside.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness,   is the universal goal of everyone who has breathe.

Let’s look first at the relationship you have with yourself.
Self-love is so important to, happiness.
You have to try very hard to love yourself. If you can’t love yourself no one else can love you.
If you can’t love yourself you can never be happy.
You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.

God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
Find it and give it love every time you look into the mirror.
And if there is something you can change, Change it. If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.
You can change your weight, your hair color, your teeth, your wardrobe.
You can’t change your height, your skin color, your sex!
There is no sense whatsoever about being unhappy about something you can’t change about yourself or about something you can change; but won’t.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How to be Happy

I just saw one of the most inspiring movies of the decade. Hidden Figures.
As a coach, this movie had so many nuggets.
1. The women were ambitious and they took control of their lives. They did not sit around and blame their skin color.
In one scene, one of the women was bitching that in order to get a promotion she had to upgrade her education.
The problem was that the only school she could do this at was an a white’s only school. So what did she do?
She petitioned the court to change the school to an integrated school. She researched and presented her case to the judge with such passion that the judge had no choice but to grant her the motion.

In another scene, IBM computers were going to make the woman computers obsolete, so the leader of the group took it on herself to learn how to program the computer. She had to steal the programming book from the white’s only library because the colored library had no such books! That is the, pursuit of happiness, working towards a goal.

There is always something you can do to improve your circumstance.

You are either part of the solution or you are part of the problem.

I covered the other 2 ways to find, happiness, in the video.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3 And your relationship with God.

As you can see relationship is key!
We are social beings, we need connection, even if it is with one person.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How to find happiness in life

I would like to end this post with this story.
I was searching the internet for a story on, Happiness, and I came across this movie called Finding Happiness by Yogi Swami Kriyananda..
Yogi Swami has Ananda colonies all over the world where people live in harmony and higher consciousness in nature.
Ananda means true joy is within.

Yogi Swami choose to build his colonies in nature because being in the presence of beauty is important to uplifting consciousness.
As you all know the East teaches the importance of meditation.
Meditation allows you to find your sense of security inside, it allows you to find your sense of self inside and when you find these things inside of you, you can never lose it because no one can ever take it away.
The Ananda colonies teaches that if you live to be happy, you will find things that make you happy and the number one thing that makes us happy is selfless service to others.

I also added a bonus audio on “How to control your thoughts”
As you know that, happiness, comes not from what people do to you or your circumstances but how you think about it.
So your internal dialog and your thoughts must be controlled and channeled into positivity and gratitude for you to find, happiness.
I urge you to find all the things that make you happy, and do them.

Find the things that make you happy, make it a necessity to be in nature at least once per week!
I guarantee..
You will not only find, happiness, but you find your bliss!
Namaste

Additional Resources

 

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

5 Ways Millennials Can Stimulate Personal Development

Personal Development Millennials

Millennials, need parents teaches or coaches to stimulate their, personal development.  Millennials,  need to understand that, personal development, comes when they anticipate the very next phase beyond the one there’re in, so they can be prepared for it when it arrives.

Introduction to, Personal Development for, Millennials

Today what we want to focus on is giving, Millennials, some clarity on, personal growth and development. We both know that learning should not stop when we leave school. My guest today is Arika Pierce author of the book The Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting. 

Myrna – What advice would you give, Millennials, on, personal growth? Millennials, are in the growth stage of life, what advice would you give them? I know in your book you give ten tips. We don’t have time to talk on all  ten, personal development, tips; but pick some of the top ones and share how you would advise, Millennials, on, personal growth and development.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Arika- I think especially after you get out of school, Millennials, are sort of over trying to learn from textbooks.  People are just exhausted from that textbook and learning from your professors and things like that; So I do encourage, Millennials, to become students of life.

By that I mean opening your eyes to all the things that you can learn from different people, new experiences just being open to continuing to stretch your horizon and to be multifaceted and to be just a well-rounded person. In my book, for example:

  • I suggest things such as reading biographies about people that you’re curious about for, personal development, or maybe who you want to know. Learn more about their path.
  • I also believe that you should do things like watch documentaries on Netflix about different types of topics that you might be interested in or just want to know more about.
  • I also think listening to podcasts that’s huge for, personal development,  and  that’s why I love your podcast. I listen to podcast really throughout my day on various types of topics, it could be something around, personal development, by expanding your mindset, it could be something around the news, it could be anything. There’s so much out there that you can really stretch your mind and learn.
  • Going to different types of events. I always tell people if you get invited, go to something and especially if it’s something that you probably would be interested in doing. Go to the Opera, go to a hockey game even though you don’t know what’s going on, go to a book talk, go to a wine tasting, whatever it is just expand your horizon and, personal development.
  • Learning does not stop once you walk across the stage. You should always every day be learning more about yourself, about life, about other people, just always be curious and be a student of the world and of life.
Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Myrna – Awesome, that’s some good advice I love the podcast one because that’s a big one. I actually showed my mom just yesterday how to put podcasts on her phone.

That’s the space that we’re in right now. I will tell you I started listening to podcast just to learn what some of the successful podcasters are doing. If there’s something you want to learn, you go to an event, you go to book signing. That’s why people write books. You can take ten years to learn something or you can take ten minutes to read how someone else did it in a book, and that’s the purpose of books.

I wanted to learn how to be better at what I do, so I started listening to podcast.  You would not believe how my mind has been expanded. I subscribe to TuneIn radio, so that I can research how that works and what Hot Talk radio was all about. I happened to come across the Hay House World Summit podcast and you would not believe what I’ve been learning.

I listen to podcasts every morning when I walk. I walk for an hour every day, so I that’s my learning time and I my eyes are wide open because this podcast have guest speakers all the top people in the spirituality and consciousness and health space.

I try to bring good content on this show so that people can plug in and hear something inspiring and mindset shifting. This podcast is not all about shooting the breeze. I went through your book and I made a note of some of the things that you mentioned and I’ll mention a couple of them because it’s very important you talked about:

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

How Millennials can Shift their mindset for, personal development

• Keeping your mind healthy. You start off by talking about depression. Depression is very big right now. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but a lot of people are depressed, even the ones that you think should be happy, that has a lot of money. Still trouble with depression. You start out by saying, keep your mind healthy and that’s very important when you talk about staying motivated.
• Find a healthy outlet. Journaling, painting, baking, etc and stuff like that that keeps your mind healthy. I talked about journaling, I think it’s great but it’s not for everybody. I think you know it’s not something some people can do it every single day, some people just do it on a periodic basis. I believe don’t be hard on yourself about doing it, but if sometimes you need a place to get your thoughts get your feelings out thinking on paper can honestly be a great way to do that.
• Getting into healthy routines. I just wrote a blog that’s coming out next week about a morning routine. I think establishing a morning routine is a great, personal development, tool and can help you set the intention and tone for the rest of your day and so actually think sitting down and thinking about what you want your routine to be and doing it that could be transformative. I’ve just recently sort of created a new morning routine and it really has changed my mindset for the whole day. Just making sure there are these five or six things that I do before I start my day.

That’s awesome, you know again as you talk my mind goes to certain things and I was just listening to a podcast where Barbara Corrigan was speaking and we all know her from Shark Tank. She has done a lot for herself, she said something that I did as a little variation for what you just said. She said write down the things that you like to do and write down the things you don’t like to do and instead of trying to do the things you don’t like to do, and then find an assistant or an intern and delegate the things you don’t like to do.

If you’re still trying to just figure out what direction you want to go in life, I think that’s a great time to get it to get a, Life coach. Honestly I think the hardest part is just identifying what exactly you need the, Life coach, for sometimes you want the, Life coach, to help you with your, personal development plan, in terms of where you want to take your career.

Sometimes it could be helping you balance your work versus your personal life. You might need a, Life coach just in terms of helping you get to the next level of your dreams and, self improvement. There’s all different types of ways you can leverage and use a, Life coach. I really think that it’s never too soon to do that.

15 Benefits of Hiring an Executive Coach

Today, there’s lots of, Life coaches who focus on the, millennial, generation, which I think is great. I think those people really understand what the, millennials, are going through and can really help them work through all of those challenges. I wasn’t focused on the, millennial, generation until I recognized that my daughter being a, millennial, and her struggles and the things that she needs help with and then I put them two and two together.

I thought what there’s lots of people in that bucket that could do maybe good guidance and direction. Yeah so you’re right, I haven’t come across a lot of, millennial, coaches; but I know that, Millennials, are the generation that’s moving the bucket in a lot of areas. That’s because they’re a large group, they’re the movers and the shakers.

So as we continue our discussion on, personal development, as a, millennial, I want to ask this question. In your book Arika, you give advice on how to care for your body so how can we incorporate caring for your body with, personal growth and development?

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Personal Growth and Development as a Millennial

I believe that when you work on your mind, when you strengthen your mind, a lot of that has to also be your body and soul, they’re all connected. When you are taking care of yourself when you’re eating right, when you’re exercising, I believe your mind is just in a different place. You feel those endorphins, everything is flowing. I had a workout this morning where I came up with three different things while I was working out that I wanted to incorporate.

When you feel good you just can really, transform your mindset, in a very positive way. I believe that when you are you believe that you’re invincible, and start taking care of yourself, eating right, making sure you’re drinking enough water, making sure that you know you’re working out on a regular basis, making sure you’re meditating, when all of those are aligned I believe that your life in terms of what you want to do, in terms of having the energy to do them, all falls into a, personal development plan. You get into the, personal growth and development, space. But you can’t take your body for granted, because we actually only get one and you know if your body isn’t right usually everything else isn’t right either.

That’s awesome, I was listening I was listening to Louise Hay, she was talking about something that she calls the mirror work. She says is that women especially should go in front of the
mirror every day when they wake up, when they look their worst and they should say to themselves, “ I love you, you are so awesome.” I have no problem with self-love, I love myself, but I still do it every morning. I look myself in the eye and I say “I love you you’re awesome.” What she’s trying to do with that little exercise is bring exactly what you’re talking about the mind-body connection. Millennials, have a problem with self love.

Millennials, and Self Love

When you love the body that you’re in, when you love you, then it transcends into every area of your life, it transcends into your, self confidence, it transcends into what you put in your body, how you treat it, how you let people treat you. There’s definitely a correlation with exercise into listening and connecting to your higher self. I wrote my entire first book and it was called ironically “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” be connecting with my higher self.

I would go for run in the morning and all the words would come to me.  I would go to the car right after and start writing. I will tell you if I tried if I tried to circumvent and write at night or something it wouldn’t go as smooth, because then I’ll be trying to force it, but when it just comes to me it came to me when I was running, the words just flowed.

Like when you were exercising this morning. So the mind-body connection is very important, and that’s why I decided to include it in our topic today, because a lot of people do not care for their body and especially when they’re young, millennials, and they don’t have any aches and pains, they kind of ignore it.

I was listening to another podcast just yesterday again on the Hay House World Summit and listened to Ocean Robbins, I love his name, I told my daughter she has to name my grandchild Ocean. He is actually is the grandson of Baskin Robbins and he had an incredible story about how his grandfather ate ice cream all day long, he had at least 21 flavors in his fridge at all times.

He ate ice cream for breakfast and lunch! When he got to 70 years old, he had all these health problems because of the diet that he had all his life. He had heart problems but his story ended well, because started eating well, he started doing certain things, eating well, including cutting out ice cream and he was still able to turn it around. That’s not an encouragement for anybody listening to wait until they’re in their 70’s and in poor health to get started on a, personal development plan, for a healthy lifestyle, but do it now.

How, Millennials,  develop a, Personal Development Plan: Jim Rohn

Most, Millennials, are in school, I think a lot of, Millennials, go on to higher education. They’re working on feeding their mind and, personal growth, education and career and things like that. The reason I talked about, personal growth, because as a, Life coach, I know that there’s a difference. Jim Rohn’s personal development growth plan, is a popular, personal development plan.  Tony Robbins talks about Jim Rohn’s growth plan in his back story. I would like to hear your spin on the difference between studying for a career and actually, personal growth.

Arika – When we think about, personal growth and development, as you just said that that’s very connected to what you are focused on career-wise, your job. I think when you start to think about what you want to personally achieve for yourself, that may or may not be connected to your professional life, because there definitely is some overlap between the two.

I think really people just have to always think about looking inside and how do they define themselves, outside of their career. Millennials,  you’re thinking about how you want to define yourself as a person and defining yourself as a person is not just what your career is and so it’s very easy to get into a life pattern.  You only focus and your own the only thing that you know to that you gravitate to in terms of your growth, in terms of your brand.

When you ask “What is your, personal development plan” which is now something I heard from Brian Tracy he talks about you know spending all his money when he was a youngster to purchase something that called a, personal growth, plan. If I was to ask a, Millennial, they might answer in terms of there career trajectory. But that is not a, personal development, plan because it’s only it is only touching on one area of a multi-faceted spiritual being.

Deepak Chopra is one of the people that I follow and I love, he talks about asking “who are you?” who is the person that’s doing the listening right now? You ask yourself these questions “Who am I?” “What am I here to do?” You just ask God that question and even let God answer. Your, personal development plan links up to your purpose.

Transform Your Mind Personal Development podcast.

Conclusion

Learn different ways you can develop your, personal development, business, organization and, personal growth, skills.
Strategies for, personal development, can be found on the Transform Your Mind Podcast.

 

7 reasons Mindfulness Meditation can Grow your Business

Mindfulness Meditation,  is not just for Buddhists and monks.  Meditation, unlocks the power you have within to take your business to the top.

When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, spirituality, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self.  As many successful entrepreneurs know, reduced stress  is the foundation to creating the business and lifestyle you want.  If you are not removing your limiting beliefs and constantly working on your vision, you are limiting your own growth and the growth of your company. You are the lid!

Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation

As a leader or an Entrepreneur there is no better way to overcome obstacles, rise to the top or be creative with out first quieting the noise in your head. When you become still you tap into your creative power by connecting to your source. During, mindfulness meditation, you experience that peace that surpasses all understanding that the bible talks about.  When you forget about all the things you have to do and just focus on the life inside you by witnessing your breathing, you move closer to becoming conscious and understand your purpose. Being quiet and still allows you to listen to instructions from the  higher power who guides you. It is said that it is easier to guide a horse in the direction it is running in; so when you fall into line with what God wants you to do for his Kingdom then your business and your life become less of a struggle.

The reasons we practice, mindfulness meditation, are as varied as the many ways there are to, meditate. In the West, most people are drawn to, mindfulness meditation, to quiet the internal chatter of the brain and to reduce stress. Mindfulness meditation, is indeed a very effective stress reducer, but its benefits—sometimes mysteriously hidden—are far more bountiful. The actual act of, mindfulness meditation, can be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath while repeating silently a, mantra, a word or phrase. for example the, om mantra, or the Gayatri mantra. There are countless traditions and no singular “correct” way to practice, mindfulness meditation.

Find a practice that you like and stick with it for a while. Notice how you feel as you go about your days. If you find that you have more patience, feel grounded and better able to respond to stressful situations, and are more in touch with your intuition or “gut feelings,” you are enjoying the many benefits of, mindfulness meditation.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

I practice, mindfulness meditation, by finding a quiet place in the morning as I drink my coffee. I listen to a, guided mindfulness meditation, tape on topics such as “activating consciousness“, visionary me meditation, “the law of attraction” etc. as I listen I clear my mind by mentally repeating a centering thought and witnessing my breathing.  At the end of my meditation I am  relaxed,  totally open and creative. I usually write some deep insights after my meditation sessions and I get answers from God and the Universe to questions I ask. This is the perfect way to become a visionary and an innovate leader.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Mindfulness Meditation, is good for our Physical Bodies

Scientists gathering data on, mindfulness meditation, have found that a consistent practice of, mantra meditation, not only boosts the mind, but it also bolsters the body. Studies shows that, meditation, can help reverse heart disease, reduce pain, and support the immune system, better enabling it to fight disease.

The mind-body connection between stress and disease is abundantly apparent as science is finding that, mindfulness meditation, can lower production of the stress hormone cortisol. This means, mediators, are better able to adapt to stress in their lives.

2: Mindfulness Meditation, is good for Our Relationships

Paradoxically, while, meditation, helps us tune in and turn inward to our true essence, it also helps us detach from our own egos to connect with others in more meaningful ways. Couples counselors have found when they assign their clients,  mindfulness meditation, the couples become less angry, more self-reflective, and more loving. When we become aware of—and honor—our interconnection with other beings, we are able to recast our perspectives, see our worries in a different light, and embrace gratitude, which is the heart’s memory.

The bible teaches that we can’t change others only ourselves and when we, meditate, we tune into who we really are. Our ancestral legacy is a brain that is primed to focus on negative experiences and has a tendency to get stuck in conditioned patterns of thinking, returning again and again to thoughts of anxiety, depression, and limitation. So in our relationships we tend to focus on what we do not have instead of what we do have.  As you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as “witnessing awareness”—the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is extremely valuable in every relationship.

3: Mindfulness Meditation, helps prolong our lives

When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self.  Yogis and doctors both agree, mindfulness meditation, even just a few minutes of deep breathing—relaxes the brain, reduces anxiety, and decreases depression. We say we can’t afford the time to, meditate, but the truth is we can’t afford not to. When we tell ourselves we don’t have time to exercise, or meditate, then we will make time for sickness and depression. During most of our waking lives, our minds are engaged in a continuous internal dialogue in which the meaning and emotional associations of one thought triggers the next.

We hear a snippet of music and suddenly we’re thinking about the first time we heard that song with an old boyfriend or girlfriend and how that relationship ended. If we’re still holding emotional pain over that ending, those feelings may bubble up and then our mind may veer into criticism, self-pity, or worries about the future. Mindfulness Meditation, is one of the best tools we have to counter the brain’s negativity bias, release accumulated stress, foster positive experiences and intentions, and enjoy the peace of present moment awareness. A large body of research has established that having a regular meditation practice produces tangible benefits for mental and physical health, including:

  • Decreased blood pressure and hypertension
  • Lowered cholesterol levels
  • Reduced production of “stress hormones,” including cortisol and adrenaline
  • More efficient oxygen use by the body
  • Increased production of the anti-aging hormone DHEA
  • Improved immune function
  • Decreased anxiety, and insomnia

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

4: Mindfulness Meditation, Reduces Stress and Burnout

What role is more stressful than the role of a Leader? None, as a Leader you are responsible for the lives of your employees, families, and your commitment to your community? Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress can contribute to:

  • high blood pressure,
  • heart disease,
  • stomach ulcers,
  • autoimmune diseases,
  • anxiety,
  • cancer,
  • insomnia,
  • chronic fatigue,
  • obesity,
  • depression,
  • and accelerated aging.

During, mindfulness meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response—that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs. All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can—or staying to fight. Although few people reading this face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a spouse, or a disagreement.

Regular, meditation, dissipates accumulated stress and cultivates a state of restful alertness. There are many compelling studies showing the power of, mindfulness meditation, to relieve stress and promote inner calm. For example, a 2011 study published in the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal found that full-time workers who spent a few hours each week practicing, mindfulness meditation, reported a significant decrease in job stress, anxiety, and depressed mood.  The reason, meditation, is so popular among successful individuals is it helps release stress, lets go of excess thoughts and expand awareness. As you dive deeper into your, mindfulness meditation, practice you see people events and circumstances as they really are, not as they are perceived to be. It allows you to have an internal Locus of control. That means that you don’t react to external stimuli but are proactive with action plans and goals. It also means that as challenges arise in your business, you will not get overwhelmed; but face those challenges calmly and efficiently.  As an Entrepreneur Leader, meditation allows you to turn your failures into successes.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

5: Mindfulness Meditation, Enhances Your Concentration, Memory, and Ability to Learn

As researchers have found, mindfulness meditation, can help you tap into your brain’s deepest potential to focus, learn, and adapt. While scientists used to believe that beyond a certain age, the brain couldn’t change or grow, we now know that the brain has a quality known as plasticity, enabling it to grow new neurons and transform throughout our lives.  Meditation is a powerful tool for awakening new neural connections and even transforming regions of the brain.  A recent study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that after only eight weeks of meditation, participants experienced beneficial growth in the brain areas associated with memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress regulation.  In addition, the meditators reported decreased feelings of anxiety and greater feelings of calm. This study adds to the expanding body of research about the brain’s amazing plasticity and ability to change habitual stress patterns.

Many other studies provide evidence for the value of, mindfulness meditation, in improving the ability to stay focused in world filled with increasing distractions, and demands on our attention. For example, research conducted by the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center showed that teenagers and adults with ADHD who practiced various forms of, meditation for just eight weeks improved their ability to concentrate on tasks, even when attempts were made to distract them. In the world of the Entrepreneur Leader, the ability to focus when you are pulled in so many different directions is extremely important to your success.

Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

6: Mindfulness Meditation, Improves Your Creativity and Problem-Solving Skills in your Business

We each have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day—unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. Mindfulness meditation, is a powerful practice for going beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open to new insights, intuition, and ideas. And as we meditate and focus on our breathing, we stop this continuous cycle.

 

7: Mindfulness Meditation, Decreases Anxiety, and Insomnia

The emotional effects of sitting quietly and going within are profound.  The deep state of rest produced by, mindfulness meditation, triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Each of these naturally occurring brain chemicals has been linked to different aspects of happiness:

Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, feel rewarded, and maintain focus. Serotonin has a calming effect. It eases tension and helps us feel less stressed and more relaxed and focused. Low levels of this neurotransmitter have been linked to migraines, anxiety, bipolar disorder, apathy, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, and insomnia. Oxytocin (the same chemical whose levels rise during sexual arousal and breastfeeding), is a pleasure hormone. It creates feelings of calm, contentment, and security, while reducing fear and anxiety.  Endorphins are most commonly known as the chemicals that create the exhilaration commonly labeled “the runner’s high.” These neurotransmitters play many roles related to well being, including decreasing feelings of pain and reducing the side effects of stress.

Additional Resources 

https://blog.myhelps.us/medical-intuitive-readings-what-your-spirit-is-telling-you-through-symptoms/

 

 

15 Benefits of Hiring an Executive Coach

Life Coach Myrna Young

“The goal of the, executive coach, is the goal of good management and that is  to make the most of an organization’s valuable human resources.” –  Harvard Business Review Organizations that embrace the culture that their employees and leaders are their most valuable resources, invest in the development of these resources.

Life Coach Myrna Young
Life Coach Myrna Young

Introduction to, Executive Coaching

There are four commonly used tools for improving human performance: 

  • Coaching,
  • Consulting,
  • Training, and
  • Therapy

There are important differences between them. Just as it is important to know when to hire a consultant, it is equally important to know the when and why for using an, executive  coach.

Why hire a, Executive coach?

  1. You would like to improve Personal transformation
  2. To develop the future leaders in your organization
  3. Lead change to create high performing, results driven organizations
  4. Help managers learn how to be, coaches, to their employees
  5. Create an organizational culture that value learning, and  continuous improvement.

When should you  Hire an, Executive Coach

  1. You want to fine-tuning your vision for your business;
  2. You want to empower and motivate your staff;
  3. You want to improve the communication and listening skills of your managers and help them become more confident. It is one of the secrets to success. 
  4. You want your leaders and managers to gain competence in the soft skills domain.

 

Benefits of, Executive Coaching

Executives identified fifteen significant benefits of, executive coaching, as a leadership development tool. They are:

  1. Continuous one-on-one attention that facilitates growth
  2. Expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from a, Life coach.
  3. Self-awareness – including bringing light to blind spots.
  4. Personal accountability for development – An, executive coach, can hold you accountable for work you promised to do between sessions.
  5. Just-in-time learning.
  6. Sustained interpersonal skills development.
  7. Consistent, long-term development that gets embedded and becomes part of your routine.
  8. Identify executive strengths and development needs
  9. Leverage existing strengths and improve performance
  10. An, executive coach, can create an Executive Strategy with an Action Plan and  accountability to help executives stay on track
  11. Adopt and/or reinforce executive leadership competencies crucial to the organization’s culture.
  12. Positive and sustainable behavior changes
  13. Develop leadership skills and practices; learn coaching skills they can implement.
  14. Enhanced career planning and development with an action-oriented plan
  15. An, executive coach, can coach to  greater work/life balance.
Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Executives claimed expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from an, executive coach. Dialogue, fueled through powerful questions, is at the heart of the, executive coaching, process. In coaching conversations, executives think out loud, become more reflective and gain access to their own tacit knowledge and unexplored ideas. The, executive coach,  role is to act as a sounding board, confidant, partner, challenger and catalyst for change.

Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Benefits of, Executive Coaching, – Case Study

Jack has excellent technical skills and has fast-tracked to a senior executive position. He was certain he was a good leader — that is, until his, executive coach, asked him questions about his team’s excitement and engagement levels. It became clear to the, executive coach, that Jack’s team was frustrated. Jack was furious and “insulted” and he vowed never to work with his, executive coach, again. Subsequently, Jack pondered his strong reaction. He realized his, executive coach, had hit a nerve. “That’s why I reacted like that, because it was true,” he says. Jack is still working with his, executive coach, and continues to learn and develop. He appreciates his, executive coach,  role in helping him gain self-awareness, which means understanding his strengths as well as his blind spots. “I don’t have these kinds of discussions with anybody else,” he says. “I am on such a straight path that I can’t see what’s going on. That’s where, executive coaching,  really helps me.” Jack now expects his, executive coach,  to hit a nerve from time to time. He sums it up this way: “The value to me is not for an, executive coach, to be really nice to me. I don’t need another friend. The value to me is having somebody to help me see what I can’t see.”

Executive Coaching,  acts as a mirror for Jack, providing him with honest feedback and revealing gaps so he can see himself more clearly, as well as help him to identify goals and promoting sustained action.

 

Executive Coaching and Personal Accountability for development

Some executives use sports metaphors to describe,  coaching.  Anne, a high Achiever, thinks of, coaching,  as a springboard for reaching her personal best at work. “Olympic medalists have, life coaches,” she says. “I want to be an Olympic medalist in business.” Anne regards her, coach, as her “personal trainer.” The common denominator in, executive coaching, and personal training is, accountability. You can learn proper techniques in a few training sessions at the gym, but it is easy to lose your way, by cutting corners, using improper techniques or missing workouts. Ongoing personal training creates momentum and accountability for development. The same is true for, executive coaching. As Anne says,

“Executive Coaching, provides an objective outside person to help you do assessments, set developmental plans and hold you accountable.”

Anne has invested heavily in her career, through education and hard work. She views, coaching, as another form of investment. She and her, coach, established developmental targets on day one. Now they have weekly meetings, either in person or on the telephone, to discuss her progress toward her targets and identify obstacles that are impeding her progress.  Through coaching, Anne holds herself accountable for her continued success. Her bottom line:

“Coaching gets me from where I am today to where I want to be”

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

 

Just-in-time learning

Executive coaching, facilitates what is called “just-in-time learning,” which is all about learning on the spot. Clients can practice and role play.  Jack told his, coach, that he wanted to “take a stand” in his next meeting, and that he wanted to come across as confident, self-assured and assertive. Coaching, provided Jack with a dress rehearsal. He used the session to develop a strategy for the meeting. He knew that thinking on his feet in front of a group of people was not one of his strengths, so he and his coach brainstormed potential questions. Jack prepared his answers and did some role playing. The next day Jack was outstanding. He called it “a powerful experience.” The, executive coaching session, had facilitated just-in-time learning.

 

How, Executive Coaching,  Helps the Organization:

  • Reduce turnover and retain top performing staff
  • Enhanced individual and organizational performance
  • Improved organizational strength
  • Perception of management as being committed to employees and their growth and success
  • Improved employee morale, more committed employees, thus greater productivity
  • Retention of high potential talent and talent magnet
  • Better client relationships
  • Positive work environment, thus greater productivity
  • Executives learn coaching techniques which they can implement with their teams for improved relationships and productivity, as well as enhanced employee development.
  • Enhanced organizational performance
  • Positively affect organizational culture
  • Succession planning and development of key executives
  • Reputation of investing in executives through development
  • Enhanced reputation within industry
  • Ability to recruit key talent
  • Positioned for continued growth and success
  • “Executive Coaching, is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.”
  • “It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them. Clients say coaching brings out their best by helping them focus, break down tasks and clarify their values.” – Fortune Magazine
  • Improve the existing culture of the organization

Additional Resources

Ten Characteristics of a Great Leader

How to Run Your Sales Meetings like a Coach

How to Run Your Sales Meetings like a Coach

The Importance of Leadership to Organizational Success

 

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.

The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.

Climbing Mount Everest

Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest.  Let’s be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.

The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.

Download on iTunes

The Mindset of a Mount Everest Climber

As an, Everest, mountain climber,  you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don’t die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.

What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit,  Mount Everest?

I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth,  and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:

7 Characteristics  of Personal Growth

1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let’s put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don’t seem of this magnitude!

2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit,  Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth  and she climbed it and won.

Stitcher

 

3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,

TuneIn Radio

4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.

5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can’t scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!

6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.

7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!

What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!

If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.

Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!

Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter

If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.

Sponsored AD
Are you dissatisfied with your life and/or your job? Do you feel bored, unfulfilled, maybe unhappy, stressed or burned out? Do you expect more from life?

Then you might be interested in Chris Morgan’s new book “Have The Courage To Be YOU – How Not To Live A Life Of Quiet Desperation”.

Chris Morgan makes a compelling case for why choosing YOURSELF really is the only sensible option you have in your life. Don’t count on your job, your company or your bosses to fill your life with meaning and purpose. Instead, create your own future and chart your destiny by changing your attitudes towards yourself and life itself.

“Have The Courage To Be YOU” was written by Chris Morgan, CEO of www.retiredby35.com an early retirement and personal growth blog.

5-star rated “Have The Courage To Be You” by Chris Morgan, now available on Amazon.

Additional Resources
Howe Committed Are You? – 4 Steps For Climbing Your Personal Mountains
https://www.finerminds.com/mind-power/personal-mountains/
How to Face a Challenge With Confidence
https://chopra.com/articles/how-to-face-a-challenge-with-confidence
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/https://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

Why Chemistry is the Most Important Ingredient in Relationships

Maintaining long- term Relationships

Chemistry, is energy.  It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA.

As we head into the New Year I know that many of you are engaging the, Law of Attraction, to bring you a spouse or a mate in 2021.

We are not meant to be alone. The Bible says that Two are better than one, because If either of them falls down, one can help the other,  so we are hard wired with the need to share our lives with a significant other.

Listen to the audio here:

What are the 3 most important qualities in Relationships

I want to share three of the foundational qualities of love, relationships.

  • Compatibility,
  • Chemistry, and
  • Communication
Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Let’s start with, compatibility. There is a significant amount of dating sites connecting couples based on, compatibility.

Is Compatibility the most Important quality in Relationships’

Compatibility, is important; but not the most important. Compatibility, is based on likes and dislikes, Like Religious preferences, standard of living, education etc.

But there is an old saying that says opposites attract.

There is also a new word floating around the internet and that is, polarity. Polarity is like the north and South Pole. Opposite ends of the spectrum and we need this polarity in relationships to keep the fires burning.

So when you marry someone who is just like you and you are so, compatible, love coaches say that sooner or later married couples stop having sex because there is no, polarity.

Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers
Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers

What is Chemistry?

Now let’s look at, Chemistry. Chemistry, is energy.  It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA. It is random; but absolutely essential for a long lasting, love connection. It is what makes your heart ache when you are apart.

Chemistry, is also reflected in the bedroom. A lack of, chemistry, will mean boring, emotionless sex. A high degree of, chemistry, will mean intense, life-altering, heart-pounding sex that causes your mind to cosmically splatter itself on the walls of your consciousness. Good times.

Some call , chemistry, connection but whatever you call it, you know when it is there and when it is not.

Some call, chemistry, meeting your, soul mate. I do believe that our souls know when we connect to our perfect match. When you meet your,  soul mate, the connection is immediate, you feel the, chemistry.

Steve Harvey said that his wife walked into one of his comedy shows in a crowd of hundreds and he stopped what he was doing and told her she was going to be his wife. There are thousands of stories like this to highlight what, chemistry, looks like.

When my husband first saw me, he said he felt this warm feeling in his body that is DNA, that is, chemistry!  The first time I spoke to my husband  my heart did summersaults for a week! Definitely, chemistry.

But here is the question of the day. Can you have a successful marriage with, compatibility, and no, chemistry? I am sure you can with commitment; but it would be equivalent to being married to your roommate.

Sponsored AD

Have you been involved in a car or truck accident?
Have you been hurt in a slip and fall?
Have you been injured due to the acts or omissions of a medical doctor?
Have you been told that you couldn’t get paid because there was little to no damage to your vehicle?
Have you been told that you did not have a claim because you are undocumented?

You need a lawyer that will fight hard for you!
You need Attorney Janica L. Campbell

Call The Law Offices of Janica L. Campbell today for your free consultation.
404-257-1400

Just as a diamond represents itself using the 4C’s, we dedicate ourselves to a 4C business model.

-Client centered
-competent legal representation
-clear and concise communication and having a
-collaborative and creative approach

You focus on your recovery.
We focus on collecting the check!

Janicalaw.com

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Is Effective Communication the foundation for a Happy Marriage?

Finally, let’s look at, communication

Communication, usually gets the blame when a marriage or relationship fail, because if there is no, communication, you can’t have a successful marriage or relationship.

We all have different, communication, styles so, effective communication, is the most important and the least understood dynamic. It is the deal breaker.

Conclusion: Chemistry Compatibility Communication

As we wrap up, I want to leave you with some of the main differences between men and women.

  • Women are all about their feelings, Men don’t trust feelings.
  • Women connect emotionally with “talking,” Men talk to pass on data, period.
  • Women have to feel good to do good, Men have to do good to feel good.
  • Women want to hear all about it, Men don’t want to talk about it.
  • Women need to feel connected to have sex, Men connect with sex.
  • Women’s happiness resides in the state of their relationships;  all their relationships. Men’s happiness resides in their accomplishments and their ability to provide and protect their love ones.
  • Women get depressed when they feel like all they do is give but that they don’t get back, while Men get depressed when they feel no one appreciates them.

Understanding these differences is the first step towards creating successful long  lasting relationships. Check out John Gray book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”

Additional Resources

Are you waiting on Love? How Single Women over 40 Find Love

 

How to, Find your Soulmate

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

How to Change Core Beliefs

 

Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true.  What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.

Listen to full interview here: 

For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.

Introduction Core Beliefs 

Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.

The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:

  • How we feel love,
  • our self-worth,
  • how we feel security, and
  • fulfillment.
  • Life after death. 

Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal. 

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs 

A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief.  Therefore, the rules that apply to the,  Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.

Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith  Without Works Is Dead”.

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief? 

If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away.  Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.

Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world.  Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Look upon what’s happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.

Are there any patterns you see? For example:

  • Do all your relationships fail?
  • Are you in constant debt?
  • Do you find it hard to keep friends?

Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:

  • What do I want?
  • What would I have to believe in order to have this?

Next, you’re going to re-program yourself.

You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief,  For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!

Additional resources:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.

For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.

This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

infinite possibility

In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility,  until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality. 

In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Introduction 

Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility,  into a particle.

Let me explain:  when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose.  God said

“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.

As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility,  We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility.  Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer. 

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Your, Vortex, represents your Law of Attraction 

The wave, infinite possibility,  is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don’t need to know math. 

I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr, I have a dream speech sees the, infinite possibility, of race

I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex. 

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.

Sponsored AD

Do you ever think that you have too much stuff?  Maybe two or three of the same item but don’t have the one thing you need or want?  Or maybe you spend hours getting ready to host a garage sale only to have most of the things taken to charity anyway.  Perhaps you have a service you’d like to offer in exchange for another service that you need or maybe just looking for one specific hard-to-find item like sports memorabilia or auto parts.  Well BarterUpOnline.com can help you solve all of these problems.  Whether you have unwanted items, looking for specific items or simply willing to trade services, https://barteruponline.com/ is for you.  The process is easy come to our website sign up for a monthly account which will cost you $2 dollars a month billed once a month or sign up for an annual account, which will cost you $1 dollar a month Billed once a year.  So visit our website today, no money no problem, only trades.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

As James Allen said, As a man thinketh so is he. You become what you think about, so think as a wave and embrace the, infinite possibilities, of your life.

Sponsored AD

Are you satisfied with your current cable company? Are you paying way more than you should?

Save money on your cable bill each and every month and get more with NuMedia. 5 star rated.

You can run NuMedia from your smart TV, tablets, phone or fire stick with ease.

Get access to over 1,500 HDTV channels, all movie channels, sport packages and

pay per view events, children channels, international channels and videos on demand.. all included for only $49.95 a month.

Get more content at a lower price.  No contract, credit check, deposit, equipment or commitment required.

Refer 5 people and get your service absolutely free!

Go to dontpay4cabletv.com and sign up for a free 24 hour trial.

Try it free today switch and save!

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

 
 

How Black Fathers Can replace the Absentee Dad Myth

Black Fathers be Visible to your children

Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important.  We have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can’t deal with this and be there for our black families.

Carl Stokes Jr. is an author, keynote speaker, professor and social worker and author of the  brand new book  “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children”  So this post is about Fatherhood, and the Issue of, Black Fathers, because in the black community we have the label of the, black fathers,  are usually, absentee Dads.

Listen to the full interview here:

Introduction Why Black Fathers need to be visible

Dr Carl decided to write this book and mentor, black fathers, because it is something that the black community needs to get better at.  Carl Stokes Jr. is an award-winning social worker, educator, college instructor and recently received his doctorate in education. His dissertation focuses on, Black Fathers, and their perseverance in community colleges. Dr Carl is passionate about working to uplift the black community.   He also enjoys teaching, parenting classes, for a small non-profit organization.

Myrna – As a black man tell us your story of your relationship with your, father, and your current relationships with your daughters. I’m curious to know, because a lot of times we work on areas that we have lived through.

Sponsored Ad

Because of my job and because I had very little free time, I felt exhausted.

I had such a low energy level that it took me over 30 minutes to get out of bed each morning… Plus I felt tired all day long!

So I decided to start working with the healing energy of crystals in order to keep my stress under control and to increase my energy level, and that’s how I found the Vitajuwel bottles.

I just turned 43 and after just a few months of drinking water from the Vitajuwel bottles, I feel more alive than ever!

I am able to manage stress way better plus my energy is through the roof!

Thank you Vitajuwel for giving me back my energy!”

https://255f0o420fkkwi0lqkh5wguf51.hop.clickbank.net/

vitajuwel water bottles
vitajuwel water bottles

Dr Carl – What’s interesting is that my answer is both. I grew up with my, black father, and without my, black father.   My dad was in the home until I was about 10 or 11 years old, unfortunately though during that time he had fallen victim to the crack cocaine epidemic of the 80s. So my, father, was in a home; but life was very difficult during that time; because of what he was going through.

However, he was still in the home, there was still benefits of his presence. Then things got really bad to the point where we were basically forced out.  I went through that whole period of teenage years and everything without guidance of my, father.  So, as an adult, I can see the difference between an, absentee dad, and a, Black father, in the home.  Because even though my, father,  wasn’t at his best, when he was in the home I benefited form him being visible.

Why Black Fathers should be visible to their kids

Myrna – So between the ages of 1 and 10 your dad was in the home; but he even though he couldn’t be a, father, because he was under the influence of crack cocaine, what you are saying is that the fact your, father, was in the home; it had some positive effect on you.

Dr Carl – Absolutely! Discipline wise, teaching me how to protect and take care of my mother, because he was gone a lot.  He would have conversations with me. It was nice having a, father, to talk to. It was a benefit to me and my younger brother.

Sponsored AD

Have you been involved in a car or truck accident?
Have you been hurt in a slip and fall?
Have you been injured due to the acts or omissions of a medical doctor?
Have you been told that you couldn’t get paid because there was little to no damage to your vehicle?
Have you been told that you did not have a claim because you are undocumented?

You need a lawyer that will fight hard for you!
You need Attorney Janica L. Campbell

Call The Law Offices of Janica L. Campbell today for your free consultation.
404-257-1400

Just as a diamond represents itself using the 4C’s, we dedicate ourselves to a 4C business model.

-Client centered
-competent legal representation
-clear and concise communication and having a
-collaborative and creative approach

You focus on your recovery.
We focus on collecting the check!

Give The Law Offices of Janica L. Campbell a call today.

404.257.1400

Janicalaw.com

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

I can sit here and say that I did get lessons from having that male presence in the house. I can also say I also experienced domestic violence and theft. I also experienced run-ins with the police and people from the street and all that. I wouldn’t say stick it out regardless, because I just as easily could have went the other way. I was just fortunate enough to take the more positive path.

Why is being a visible Black Father is Important

Myrna – Let’s transition to your relationship with your daughters. You have three daughters. How do you parent them knowing that you didn’t have a, father, since you were 10 years old?

Dr Carl – Okay, this is where it gets a little bit interesting and sort of complicated, because I became a, black father, at 17 years old. I was a senior in high school, unfortunately because I was so young and because I didn’t have the guidance and I was immature, I ended up not handling my, parenting, as a, Black father, the way I should have. My daughter’s mother decided to move to Atlanta Georgia and take my daughter with her.

I didn’t know I had rights. I didn’t know that I shouldn’t have allowed her to take my daughter without working out any arrangements. The separation caused damage to the relationship between me and my first daughter. When I became a, Black Father, to my other two daughters, I vowed that nothing was going to stop me from being a good dad. Fatherhood, became my absolute top priority.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Replacing the Absentee Black Father Myth

Myrna – Why is it that traditionally, black fathers, have been absent? We know we’ve got the crack epidemic, we know we’ve got prison; but even when none of those circumstances are present, black fathers, still don’t make it a priority to parent their children. Why do you think that is the situation?

Dr Carl – We kind of lowered our own expectations as, Black dads. We have very little guidance and then when we put the other things in a mix;

  • incarceration,
  • impoverished conditions,
  • relationship struggles and finances.
  • It causes extra stress and strain on, Black fathers, and their relationships with their kids.

Myrna – I actually just started reading Mike Tyson’s book “Undisputed Truth”. If you want to hear about a messed up Black family with no role models, this is the book to read.  I couldn’t believe all the stuff that Mike Tyson lived through as a child without a, Black father, and an, absentee dad. How can, Black Dads, have a relationship with their kids and a relationship as a husband when all they know is dysfunction?

A Guide for Black Fathers

Why did you write the book “Reclaim your Visibility: A Straightforward Guide for Black Men to Improve Themselves and their Relationship with your Children?

Dr Carl – I wrote this book simply because of this: I got it wrong for many years and I want to assist in the idea of, black fathers,  not having to go through being an, absentee dad, and learn from my mistakes. My eldest daughter and I  had a very rocky path and I don’t want that to go in vain. I don’t want to just talk about the plight of, Black Fatherhood,  I want to do something about it. If I can help one, Black Father, have a better relationship with their child or children, then it’s totally worth it.

Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers
Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers

Myrna – What makes your guide book different from all the other, Fatherhood, books?

Dr Carl – I am not the old wise man on top of the mountain talking to the village. The reason why this book is different is I literally started to repair my relationship with my eldest daughter this past summer. So this book is about real life, not theory.

Myrna – A lot of, Black Fathers, are, absentee dads. Do you think that they can repair the damage and build back a relationship with their children?

Sponsored Ad

Up is Higher than Down Podcast

We Explore how to be Deliberate, Defiant, and Determined to

Look up! Get Up! And Stay Up! Despite the challenge

Listen to others share how they keep it moving during these stressful times.

Join up is higher than Down from all major podcasting networks

Come on over to our Up is Higher Than Down Facebook Group and keep the conversation going.

Grab-an-UP and Go! Remember, Any part of Up is Higher Than Down.

https://www.stitcher.com/show/up-is-down

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Dr Carl – Absolutely! We can’t always take it back; but we have to learn from these mistakes and move on. That is the basis of the book and that’s why it’s called “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children” Because a lot of times, black fathers, need healing ourselves.

How to offer support for Black Father in College

Myrna – You mentioned that you did a doctoral thesis and research on Black Fathers in Colleges. Tell us about that.

Dr Carl – The dissertation is actually on, Black Student Fathers, and their persistence and perseverance in community Colleges. I was a community college, Black Father, with a child and a lot of times, these schools have programs for mothers; but no guidance for, Black Dads. I wanted to do something different and focus on this very specific population, black student fathers, in community college settings.

Myrna – Tell us about your media company – Stokes Media LLC.

Dr Carl – In the media piece, I do several things. This is my official company where I do speaking engagements, seminars conferences, trainings and mentoring. The other sides of my books are self-published. I’m also assisting other people to help get their stories out and become published Authors. So the whole Stokes Media concept embodies all those things.

Myrna – Tell our listeners and those watching on YouTube how to contact you and get a copy of your book.

Dr Carl – The easiest way to contact me is to go directly to my website www.drcarlstokesjr.com. You can go right to the contact page and fill out the inquiry form. You can ask questions, leave comments/feedback or whatever you want to do.

Myrna – You also mentor, Black Fathers, at a non-profit organization. Tell us about that.

Dr Carl – I actually do, parenting classes, for an agency here in Buffalo called the “Family Help Center”. So when parents are looking for assistance, I help.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How Co-parenting can help Black Fathers stay visible

Myrna – When you do the, parenting classes, can you walk us through some of your subjects or the things that you talk about? In this conversation we’ve been focusing on, Black Fathers, but all fathers can benefit from your book and, parenting. What advise would you give them?

Dr Carl – I would say the number one advice I would give to parents is on, co-parenting. I don’t care if you don’t get along, I don’t care if all broke up because he was doing this or doing that.  What’s important is the child or the children. We have to learn to get along for the sake of the children and be fair to each other for the sake of the children. Your children are witnessing and understanding these arguments, these disagreements, these accusations and things like that.

We tend to think that the kids are stupid and they’re not listening to anything. Let me tell you, they’re taking in everything, they’re taking in how you feel, they’re taking in the energy that you’re putting out and they are internalizing the things that they’re hearing. So, co-parenting, is key especially in our community we have to get that fixed.

What is the message for Black Fathers

Myrna – What is the message that you want them to take away with when they close the book?

Dr Carl – The predominant message of the book if I had to break it down into one main theme, I would say I would want my, black fathers, to understand how important we are to the situation. As a foundation of the family, to us being better as a community as a whole.  Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important, we have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can’t deal with this.

We have to understand how meaningful it is for us to be around and holding down our families. We hold down our households, our households work together to hold down our neighborhoods, our neighborhoods hold it down together to hold down our communities and it spreads on like that.

We don’t need to worry about or hope for everybody else to do this for us, we can do it ourselves; but it starts with us being in the house and visible to our kids. Even if you don’t live in the house, I’m just saying the presence of involvement is necessary. Not everybody is going to be together, and that’s why we talk about, co-parenting. Our presence is so valuable, we have to make sure that we handle our business as a, black father.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Myrna – Where can they get the book?

Dr Carl – You can get the book on Amazon Kindle. If you want a signed copy you can get it from me directly at www.drcarlstokesjunior.com.

If anybody wants the Audio book, go to my site www.drcarlstonesjr.com. Order the Audio book and there’s a free sample on there.

Enter the code “stay visible2021” and you’ll get 25% off of the Audio book.

Conclusion

Black Fathers, are important to the community. Any father is important to the community; but we’re concentrating on our community, the black community. Our community is jacked up. Like you said you go to your friend’s house and they’ve got a mom and a dad and food in the kitchen and everybody is getting along. You’re not outside throwing things at each other and having the police come by and all that which is a lot of which is the lifestyle of some children in the, black community.

Shout out to my Atlanta audience. Hopefully your daughter can listen on the radio WDJY 99.1 FM.

I want to encourage you guys if you’re watching us on YouTube to please subscribe. We’re trying to grow our channel because it’s much more exciting to actually see the person that I’m interviewing. So, if you’re watching on YouTube, kindly subscribe so you’ll be able to get the new videos as they come out every week.

If you’re listening on the radio and you want to be able to hear the podcast another time other than the radio broadcast, I encourage you to subscribe to any of the 11 podcast players that the show airs on.

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

If you’re in iTunes, please read and review because that allows us to grow our audience as well. I also have a Facebook group called Life Coach. I invite you guys all to join.

Additional Resources

Celebrating Black Love Introducing BlackdateBox

https://blog.myhelps.us/self-love-secret-out-of-the-snares/