One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?
Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna
Transform your Mind Stitcher
Being stuck, is a place of no personal power
https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ
What it feels like to be stuck
A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was, stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.
She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck, she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister's home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister's home, because she didn't have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!
How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.
How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?
How do you find the strength to want something better?
How did I coach this situation?
This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.
You see you can't see the frame when you are the picture!
I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister's lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn't cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.
You can't plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.
I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.
1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck
Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.
Faith, that even though you can't see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.
The message of, faith, in this story is that you can't think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship, being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.
Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.
My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don't let him convince you that you are, stuck.
2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.
The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don't feel like doing until you feel like doing it!
Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.
You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don't let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don't stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can't take big steps Automatic negative thoughts don't take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.
Similarly, being stuck, on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.
It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.
It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.
3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck
What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.
One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can't coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.
4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can't or won't move right now.
I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!
So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn't know any better.
If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn't know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.
This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.
Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.
5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself
Come back to the problem later
Write out options and solutions
Write out the worrying situation
Write what you can do about it
Write what you cannot control about it.
6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.
The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.
Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.
Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.
Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.
Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.
Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.
As Neapolitan Hill said
As a man thinking so is he.
Shakespeare puts it another way
“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”
7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself
You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances
Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.
You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.
What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?
I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.
We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.
Use your negative energy to get unstuck
Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can't know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!
She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.
She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!
To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Building true, confidence, after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. How to be confident, after a, divorce, is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident, person overnight. But if you're in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips on, how to be confident, after losing your man.
This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your, confidence, back after a, divorce, of death of a spouse.”
10 Tips on How to Build Confidence:
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a, self-confidence, killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you're only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what's important–your own strengths and goals.
2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.
3. Live in a positive reality.
Don't say anything about yourself that you don't want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won't make you a more, confident, person, but, confident, people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you're capable of and what you've already accomplished.
4. Don't mask it.
Self-confidence, isn't the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It's all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.
5. Change what you can.
Confident, people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.
6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you're probably on the right track! Don't procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.
7. Practice Self Love
8. Take action to get back on the horse. Don't isolate yourself
9. Have a Level 5 Friend to share your darkest thoughts
10. Complete yourself and not wait for someone to complete you
You should not allow your, confidence, to be dictated by someone else’s feelings in any facet of your daily life. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs, and you should never allow someone else to sink yours like an anchor, just because you have been through the, divorce, experience.
Your behavior should not be driven by the emotions of anyone, especially your ex-spouse. They may attempt to reenter the picture for whatever reason, and while that reason may be valid and may need to be dealt with, there is no reason you should allow their thoughts and their feelings to bring you down or shatter any progress you have made in rebuilding your confidence.
You cannot and should not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way. If you sense that the conversation is headed in a direction that you are not comfortable with, it is imperative that you exercise some, self-love, and remove yourself from any narrative that would damage your post-divorce recovery process.
You need to be able to believe in your ability to rebuild your life and move forward. After a, divorce, you may begin to question your ability to make life decisions, but do not let one setback color your perspective and prevent you from making these types of calls.
Whether it is through your job, your friends, your family, or a new relationship, you can make different aspects of your new life matter and move past the negativity of a dysfunctional and unhappy marriage. Your productivity in starting over and taking each step to a new future is something you should be proud of and should give you the, confidence, boost you need to take additional steps.
Are you praying and, patiently waiting, on, God, to answer your prayers? Be aware of why you want this thing. Sometimes we are not ready to receive that what which we ask for and that is why the, almighty God, does not answer our, prayers, when we ask.
Patiently waiting? Be careful what you wish for.
It is important to understand or become conscious of why you want the things or certain people to come into your life. If you are, patiently waiting, and asking, God, for a child, be conscious of why you want a child. Is it because you want someone to love you or you want something to love? A puppy can satisfy that need.
If you are, waiting patiently, on, God, for a spouse, is it because you want to share your life and be important to someone, or is it because you need help with your bills? Awareness is the key to understanding your desires.
When what you want does not show up, what do you do?
Do you become depressed and lose faith in God?
In the first chapter of my book “Out Of The Snares”, I share with you my journey to adopting my twin girls. I write about where the desire originated from. I share how I responded to the resistance offered up by the Universe and people at the Department of Children's and Families. I share with you how the Laws of Detachment worked for me.
The, Law of Detachment, works with, faith. Faith, that God will grant you the desires of your heart, so you give this desire to, God, and you let him work out the details. Detachment, helps you to patiently wait for God. You are not detaching from the outcome; but from the journey. You are saying to yourself, I am patiently waiting, on God. I have , faith, that I will have the desires of my heart. I will become a mother. If I don't birth a child, God, will send me an adopted child. That is, detachment, from the journey. You don't care about the path that, God, uses to grant you your desire, only that in the end, you have a child.
If a desire comes from your true self
It has within it the power to manifest.
For example: let's say that you are going on a road trip to Florida from California. Your GPS navigational system can take you, the fastest way, the longest scenic way, or the cheapest way to avoid tolls. Regardless, of the route you take, you will be confident that route will take you to Florida.
In a similar way, you have to be confident in, God, that all roads will lead you to your destination. So, be prepared to, wait patiently, on God and don't become frustrated and give up.
The trick is to detach yourself from all the craziness and petty people trying to take from you what, God, has purposed for you to have. You must also remember that, God's time, usually does not coincide with your time, so learn to, wait patiently, and get yourself ready.
Get Yourself ready while patiently waiting on God
If you are asking, God, for a promotion, learn the skills necessary for this new job.
If you are asking, God, for a child, learn how to be the best parent ever, read parenting books.
If you are asking, God, for a spouse, learn how to have effective relationships.
If you need to lose weight, work on it. Be the best that you can be and when, God, feels you are ready, he will give you the victory, because you serve an, Almighty God, who is able to do all things.
Two things about Patiently Waiting on God
#1: Waiting on, God’s, plans requires patience and, faith.
It’s in the, patiently waiting, that our, faith, is forged in the fires of trials. In the waiting, we discover that, God’s, in charge and we’re nothing on our own.
#2: Waiting is hard, but the wait has a purpose
God is never accidental. Everything he does has a purpose.
Sometimes the wait is for, God, to align other pieces of the plan. Sometimes the wait is for, God, to align the pieces of our own heart.
“Out of the Snares” Now Available on Amazon in eBook format.
Download your copy today! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE
Print version available in September.
What happens when there is, infidelity, in your marriage? Statistics show that as much of 70% of men and women cheat on their spouses and committed partners.
Today on WDJY 99.1 FM straight talk radio our topic is “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our Partner ” We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on our desire for our partners to be faithful to their commitment to us.
Introduction to Infidelity in Marriages
My co -host for this episode is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our partner”
What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.
I will tell you from personal experience that there is nothing that transforms an intimate relationship into something magical, like the surety that your partner will not break his vows or commitment to you, that he or she loves you unconditionally and would not look at another. But how do we, survive infidelity, when it happens?
UK Artist Ben Newman brings a different kind of taste to satirical art. This is sultry and saucy at the same time.
His boldness in combining sexy female characters with robots present in the fantasy world is amazing with an intense desire for intimacy.
The solution to infidelity is not always divorce
Myrna – Margo as an, intimacy coach, how has your clients dealt with, infidelity?
Believe it or not, most people decide to stay in their marriages after, infidelity. The important thing is to address the issues that might have lead to the, infidelity, and get the necessary help to recover.
Infidelity in marriages, Divorce isn't always the solution, particularly when the unfaithful spouse is remorseful and devoted to changing. Here are some things you need to know if you are dealing with the fallout of, infidelity, in your marriage.
Betrayal is in the eye of the beholder.
Infidelity is not a marital deal breaker
Most affairs end – a man rarely leaves his wife for the other woman
You are not alone
It helps to get help
How have you dealt with, infidelity?
I have dealt with, infidelity, several times in my life. I have dealt with, infidelity in marriage, and, infidelity, in, love relationships.
When I was younger and more emotional I would leave immediately. As I matured I seek to understand first and love unconditionally.
Some therapists believe that, infidelity, destroys the fabric of a, relationship, which cannot be repaired. These therapists declare, marriages, dead on arrival but, I believe it is up the the individuals.
What happens when Desire goes looking somewhere else?
History will show that men don’t need a reason to cheat on their partner. But for this discussion we will look at the Lack of Desire as the reason for the, infidelity.
What can we do when desire dries up and we no longer feel the spark for our partners?
Men like uncertainty, they like variety. Most men who cheat don’t want to leave home. They love their spouse and like the security of home but they seek adventure.
I was just reading the unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie and how his, infidelity, had consequences he did not anticipate. John Voight was tempted by great sex and cheated on her mother who promptly left him when Angelina was 6 months old. John Voight had no interest in leaving his wife and 2 kids; but the lure of exciting sex was something he could not pass up. That dalliance had far reaching consequences for his children and himself. He would be seeking a family for decades to come.
But men don't have to go outside the home for exciting sex. As women we could bring the excitement and adventure to our bedroom. We could bring the feeling of having an affair to our bedroom.
Whatever you are doing now, we could do something different. If you always make love with all your clothes on, in the bed with the lights out; then start making love on the couch, fully clothed, with all the lights on!
Become the mistress. Meet in a hotel, set up dates, role play and dress up, send sexually explicit text messages.
I remember a friend of mine who divorced her husband because she found a video his mistress sent to him. That is how the women are stealing our men, they excite them.
What happens when women go looking for love
Okay, enough of the men having unmet needs and looking for excitement in the bedroom. What about our unmet needs?
Women have unmet need as well and are catching up to men as they too are looking outside the home for fulfillment of their desires.
Myrna – Margo, how can women communicate their unmet desires to their partners?
Margo – Before women go looking for love in all the wrong places, they should learn to become the mistress and turn up the marital sex. They can do this by role playing and other sex games.
How do we as women deal with infidelity of spouse or partners?
There are several schools of thought about this topic.
If you want things to change, you have to change.
Maybe you are a nag, maybe you don’t like sex, maybe you take no pride in your appearance, maybe you have trust issues, maybe you are boring.
You have to know yourself to grow yourself.
Ask yourself what have I invested into this relationship? Are you a taker or do you contribute to the peace and happiness of your man?
I remember Jennifer Gardner saying after she experienced the, infidelity, from Ben Afflec . She determined that it was not Ben Afflec's role to make her happy. He cheated on her with the nanny. She was taking stock in what she brought to the table and understood it was not someone’s else role to make her happy. Happiness comes from our true self.
You can’t give away what you don’t have.
If you found this podcast inspiring, please subscribe and leave a review by clicking the link below. iTunes Podcast
How do you win at the, game of life? Today I am going to teach on How to be a Winner!!
Most of us were glued to the television for the Olympic games to see the athletes try to win Gold. But how do these same athletes win, the game of life.
Each and every one of these athletes came to win Gold!
Did you see the interview with Shakur Stevenson? This interview and the race where the Bahamian girl threw herself across the finish line to take the gold from Alison Felix were my most inspiring moments of the Olympics. In the interview with Shakur the NBC reporter asked him how he felt about winning a silver medal? The interview was going good until this question and then Shakur decided not to fake it anymore. He broke down crying saying
“I hate to loose, I wanted to win. The Silver medal is terrible.”
This is our first lesson on “Winning at the, Game of Life.”
Never Settle for Second Best!
In our Podcast today we are going to look::
* How to Be a Winner
* How to Think like a Winner
* How to Act like a Winner
We are going to look at winners like Russel Wilson of the Seattle Seahawks.
We are going to look at Mike Tyson and Buster Douglas.
We are going to look at Steve Jobs.
Show notes:
Inspiration story and tip of the week.
Winning at the, Game of Life, some examples.
Acceleration – How God and a Coach can “Accelerate” You
To become a winner you need to be self motivated and need the help of a Life Coach.
Someone to push you when you lack motivation, someone to keep you accountable, someone to help you with the game plan.
The enemy keeps you busy with trivial pursuits to keep you from achieving your goals and purpose.
Here are 3 Principles to Winning at the Game of Life:
1> Physiologically – Is your body in a peak state? Are you prepared physically?
2> Psychologically – Do you have the mental capacity to win? Do you believe you can?
3> Soulfully – Do you believe it is your purpose? Have you tapped into the wisdom of your soul?
For the next 30 days, I will give FREE copies of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” Just pay for shipping
“Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is jammed packed with stories of my victories and how
“I won at, the game of Life.”
*From Escaping Poverty and child abuse in my native country,
*to winning as a business person as the top female Limousine operator in Toronto, Canada,
*to winning my USA citizenship,
*to winning twin girls by adoption,
*to winning in Love and relationships!!
Lots and Lots of victories!!.
So download your copy now by clicking the Amazon link below:
Finding, beauty, in your Now is the point of all power that unlocks healing, growth, strength, peace, desires, success, and happiness.
This week I interview Aireka Harvell, aspiring motivational speaker who focuses on transforming the minds and lives of women with her blog “Be That Woman.” She is also the Founder of Nodat Place Advertising LLC. where she encourages and promotes female entrepreneurship and offers daily motivation and support through her social media platforms.
Introduction “How to find Beauty in your Now”
Aireka has a powerful story of overhearing a mother telling her son that she was, ugly, and seeing her mom treat he brother better because he was handsome when she was just 9 years old. That tag stayed with her throughout her life and gave birth to low self esteem, becoming a people pleaser and allowing her husband to mentally and physically abuse her. Aireka has lived in darkness of thinking she was, ugly, for most of her life, until one day she heard the voice of God telling her to Help other women “Be That Woman” he made them to be.
Today she has a huge following on Instagram and on her blog and offers Hope and Encouragement with her daily posts.
Listen to find out How to control your mind and bring it under subjection when thoughts of fear and hopelessness threaten to stomp out your joy.
Learn that there is opportunity to learn and grow from every situation.
A Conversation with our manufacturer (God) God: Tell me “what is your purpose down there on earth”
Man: Well you know “I want to work hard and not hurt anyone, and I want to get along with folks and stay out of trouble” God: “But what about your talents”
Man: Well what talents I have and there are not much, I take good care of. I kind of pace myself, you know.
No, No,No God shouted, your answers are all wrong. Don't you remember the story of the talents?
Man: Yes I think so … You gave each of three men a different set of talents. To one man, you gave five talents. To another man, you gave two talents. And to the third, you gave but one talent.
“That's right says God: and some years later I checked up on each of these three men. I was pleased to find that the man with five talents had multiplied his talents by working hard, and applying each one. The man whom I gave two talents had also labored hard and multiplied them. But when I checked with the man I had only given one talent, I became very angry. For that man had buried his talent in the name of protecting it. To which I cursed him saying “thou wicked and slothful servant” how dare you not use the gifts and, beauty, I gave you. You Knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed.
Do you not get the point of this parable?
Man: Yes I think so. I am to use the talents and, beauty, you gave me and multiply them to help others.
God: Let me ask you another question
“Who is in charge of your life?”
Man: I am responsible for my life – but with a few exceptions. I mean sometimes you just don't get the breaks, you know. Sometimes things just don't go my way, but that is the way the ball bounces or the way the cookie crumbles”
God jumped to his feet “No, No, No, he shouted. You were created in my image of, beauty. “When will you learn, you are totally responsible for your life, no exceptions. You are totally responsible for the results you obtain. Not your mother, not your father, not your boss. It's not the breaks, that control your life, it's you. Don't ever say that is the way the ball bounces, that it is the way the cookie crumbles. You must bounce your own ball!
Man: Okay, okay I think I see. The fact is that I have been put on earth to succeed, I have an obligation, a responsibility, to use my abilities to the fullest. I must control my life, for I wasn't designed to be led. I prefer excellence to mediocrity. I won't prevent my own success, for all success requires is that I am here, and that I use my talents to the world and not wait for the world to come to me. And I will act now, no matter how convenient waiting may seem, no matter how imperfect might be the results I obtain.
Tears welled up in God's eyes, a smile creased his face.
God: “Thou wonderful and faithful servant, take all the love and energy and talent that you have and share it. Share it with all you meet, until it seems you have no more to give, there will always be more and more in reserve. Your potential extends beyond your wildest imaginings. The only limitations you will ever face will be those you place on yourself”
Johanna Sevier Robb says in her blog post on “How to find the Beauty in Everyday Present Moments”:
There is so much, beauty, in the world—and because this crazy, gorgeous life is so fleeting, I want to focus on the, beauty.
No, I won’t turn my eyes away from the horrors of the world. But I also won’t become so consumed by these horrors that I no longer notice the wind dancing on the water. Or the tender grasp of my lover. Or the plant on the windowsill stretching toward the sunlight.
I’m not trying to downplay the crap. But just to understand the, beauty standards, of men. I don’t want to crumple into a small, powerless mess each and every time I read the news.
Negativity sells. Sensationalism sells. But this is not the reality of, beauty. So I ask, what is beauty?
Sure, man’s, beauty standards, is real. But generosity, kindness, humility and love is also real. And I still believe in humanity. Only a tiny bit of the present world can be summed up by violence and acts of terror. Only a tiny bit of human history can be summed up by wars and acts of cruelty.
How to Find your Beauty even if the world thinks you are ugly
Despite his physical appearance, the elephant man and his mother were close. His mother did not think he was, ugly. A former housemaid, she was also handicapped and had three additional children, two of whom died at a young age. She herself passed away in 1873 of pneumonia. Her death devastated young Joseph. Not only did he lose his closest friend, but his father, now working as a haberdasher, soon married the strict widow Emma Wood Antill who had two children of her own and demanded young Merrick, elephant man, leave school and earn his living. Amazingly, despite his growing abnormalities, he found employment at a cigar shop, but his right hand soon became too large to manage the delicate work of rolling cigars. In order to earn his keep, his father got Joseph a hawker’s license to sell gloves door to door. But his, ugly, appearance frightened prospective customers and his sales were dismal. Joseph Senior would often beat his son if he came home empty-handed and the stepmother would deny him full meals unless he had earned enough to pay for them. As a result, he ran away — or rather walked away — from home more than once.
If you liked this content remember to share, subscribe to my iTunes podcast and write a review. Once you do, send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line “Podcast review” and I will send you one of two gifts. My eBook “How to become a Life Coach” or a “Mindset Shift Focus Wheel” a workbook to change from a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset.
Pinterest, exists for people to come together to gather, collect and share snapshots of their own ideas, memories, and interests. In the early days of the, social network, platform, that was all Pinterest, really was. A simple place for people to come together and scrapbook. It was a collectively personal experience that gave the world something nice. Today it is necessary for your, online marketing strategy.
This week on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Online business coach Jessie Guilford. Jessie is a marketing expert and she will teach us the top “Seven Social Media Tools to Grow your, digital marketing, Business including, Pinterest
These days, Pinterest, is more than just a nice global scrapbook. With 100 million active users (emphasis on the “active”), it’s now being used by some of the biggest companies on the planet to build awareness, drive traffic to their websites, and sell.
Pinterest, is popular with users because it allows them to choose how to interact with brands and businesses — not the other way around. Users can navigate based on their own interests so product endorsements aren’t quite as invasive here as in other social media platforms.
Most people on, Pinterest, are actually looking to make purchases, which means brands are only really guiding their products to the people who need them.
Guest Biography
Jessie grew up on a grain & cattle farm in Manitoba, Canada with a passion for the outdoors, horseback riding, shopping and creating the life she desired. She graduated University with her Bachelor of Business Degree and achieved the Duke of Edinburgh's Program Gold Award before entering the corporate world. She worked in Research as well as Sales + Marketing while starting and running her own website design business at the age of 22. Realizing that the 9-5, slowly-climb-the-corporate-ladder world was not for her, she soon realized her passion for coaching amazing women from all over the world to help them achieve their business goals and build a life they loved.
Show notes:
What are 3 things to think about before starting an online marketing business?
What Type of Products Can I Sell Online?
How to Source and Manufacture Products for Your, online marketing, Business
Driving Traffic to Your Online Store
Online marketing, is necessary to build your, digital marketing, empire.
Top eight social media tools that will help with people's online marketing and business growth?
SocialPilot – social media marketing, tool that allows you to effortlessly schedule, plan, publish, and analyze your social media posts.
HootSuite – social media marketing, tool that gives a birds eye view of your social media performance mainly for enterprises
MavSocial – social media marketing, tool that helps make better use of visual content in your posts
Buzzsumo – social media marketing, tool that allows you to identify and analyze content that engages your, target market
SproutSocial – social network, tool that is best suited for enterprises and large agencies
Leadfuze – social media, tool great for lead prospecting
Taboola – social media, tool that helps promote your best content on social media
Audiense – social media marketing, tool that enables digging out actionable user insights from social media platforms
“What do you do?” – example your cocktail pitch from Pinterest
To fund the startup, CEO Silbermann approached several investors who turned him away because of the economic climate. Pinterest, now reaches 250 million people and the New York Times reported that it will reach about $700 million in annual ad revenue this year and is valued at $12.3 billion.
“So you could say, ‘Hey, you know, we don't have any money. We don't have any experience doing this. But we think this is a good idea. We're going to build this piece of software.' And I couldn't understand why they weren't funding us, but it was probably the worst sales pitch they'd ever heard,” Silbermann said on an episode of Business Insider's podcast “This Is Success.”
After a while, Silbermann said he became “pretty desperate” for funding and found a New York University business-plan competition. Silbermann entered, Pinterest, even though he was not an NYU student and won second place — he was awarded a meeting with a venture capitalist who agreed to put up half of Pinterest's first round of funding.
How can people get visible and find their target market on Pinterest?
If you plan to niche down to a very targeted market, on, Pinterest, you should be asking anybody who comes to your site what other things they might be interested in reading about. Serving your audience increases the probability of them sticking around, signing up for your email list, and following you on social media should be a part of your, digital marketing strategy.
These are the strategies I deem necessary for your, online marketing strategy.
1. Personal branding online marketing strategy
Successful businesses can generate a ton of momentum from successful entrepreneurs who lead them. Branding yourself, before your company, gives you the opportunity to leverage a more trustworthy, personal image to promote your brand.
It also gives you more power to meet and network with others, form more partnerships and lend a face to your otherwise faceless organization. And it's free to do, from a monetary perspective, though you will need to invest a significant amount of time.
2. Content marketing online marketing strategy
Content marketing, takes a variety of forms, and depending on how you form your, online marketing strategy, could accomplish a number of different goals. For example, you could use white papers, ebooks and other long-form content to attract downloads, signups and conversions, or you could use an on-site blog to attract more inbound traffic to your site.
You could even use content as a form of help and troubleshooting, or some combination of these applications. Content marketing, is incredibly versatile and useful, and, if it's valuable, your customers will expect you to have at least some of it in place for them.
If you are looking for an, online marketing strategy, or new tools, take a look at this article from Buffer Social. The 20 Best New Social media tools
Every so often, a new social media platform emerges to capture our attention (Peach) or become part of our daily lives (Snapchat).
The, social media tools, landscape can be just as fascinating — and robust!
Every week, people build and launch new social media tools, empowering us marketers in our day-to-day work. To give you a sense of how amazing the landscape is, here’s a graphic of some of the, social media tools, available: social media management, listening, analyzing, content creation, and more.
You can, find your purpose, in life by paying attention to your passions. Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem.
Are you lifted by your purpose? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio and Podcast, I interview Ms Arifah Yusuf who is not only lifted by her, purpose, but founded a company called Lifted By Purpose where she helps youths in Toronto, Canada to become lifted by their purpose.
As Arifah was working with the youth she noticed their tattoos and decided to have a spin off company called Tattoo Stories. She used the tattoos stories to help her clients share their stories through the images they permanently put on their bodies.
How to Find Your Purpose in Life
How we perceive images can help us, find your purpose.
How you react to an image can tell you a lot about you, including your, life’s purpose.
Art speaks to us because it’s about us. It’s about our collective and individual journeys in this wondrous, immeasurable universe.
As Chuck Klosterman said, “Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.” Images stir up numerous emotions in the beholder: awe, shock, sorrow, rage, and even repulsion. You may feel an intense, nameable emotion within seconds of seeing an image, or it could take several minutes of staring at the image before you can decide what it means to you. And as art is as diverse as the people who create and perceive it, the responses to it naturally vary. Art can play a crucial role in self-discovery and an individual’s, purpose in life.
Image test to find your purpose
Click the link below to take your image, purpose, test and see what it shows is your, purpose.
I took this test and my test revealed that my purpose was to spread Happiness. So True.
“Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem. You can distinguish the lightness from the darkness and this is what takes you to another level. With happiness, everything can be cured and your purpose is to spread this feeling in times most needed.”
Bio
Arifah Yusuf, is a registered social worker from Ryerson University. She has 12 years experience engaging and developing programs for youth, facilitating workshops and providing counseling services. Ms. Yusuf was nominated and awarded the Community Health Champion Award for her dedication working with youth. In 2015 she received the leadership award from Canadian Alliance of Black Educators and in 2016, the Ontario Leading Women in Community Award.
She is trained and certified by the National Organization for Victims Assistance, Traumatology institute, and is a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. In her role at Lifted By purpose, she is the Founder and Executive Director.
How did you find your purpose?
Can you tell us your journey as a social worker and how it transitioned into founding Lifted by Purpose?
I grew up a a rough neighborhood in Toronto. As a youth, I had a family member who died from Homicide and that affected me profoundly; but I did not have an outlet to grieve so I became very depressed. As I got older, I wanted to become a social worker so I can help other youths who experienced trauma to have a space to talk and get help. This is how I found my, purpose.
Today “Lifted by purpose” helps youths, find their purpose, and provides services to help the youth with coping skills and prepare for a purposeful future.
Using tattoo stories to find the meaning of life
You have an offspring from Lifted by purpose called Tattoo stories. Can you tell our audience what that is about and how tattoo helps youths find their, purpose.
During counselling I started asking my clients to tell me their stories about the permanent tattoos on their bodies. I found that these tattoos were connected to their, purpose in life. Most life events are marked with a tattoo.
Services offered to help find your purpose
What are some projects and services provided by Lifted by purpose.
At Lifted by Purpose we focus on the arts.
Some of our services are:
Music stress program 10 to 20 weeks
Playlist therapy that identifies tracks that speak to grief or loss
How to have healthy Relationships
How to identify triggers that move them into making bad choices
Identify coping skills
Tattoo stories and what they mean
I see from the information you provided me for the interview that your target audience is young people between the ages of 16 to 29 years who are at risk or already in the justice system. How does your program help these young people, find your purpose.
Our program helps our youth to harness their story
Understand how to utilize their stories to understand themselves.
Reflect on how their stories has influenced their choices in life
How to flip a negative story into something positive
Action steps. Are they ready to make a change
How does their story affect their purpose and lift them up.
How does Tattoo stories tie into meaning of life
Tattoo stories Helps the youth understand their, purpose and have a voice that can help others on their journey.
Do you feel that you are called to make a difference in the lives of others?
Do any of these statements sound like you?
• I want to help others and make a difference in the world.
• I want to have a life purpose beyond what I am currently doing.
• I want to be happier, satisfied and fulfilled with my life.
• I want to get unstuck and feel more in control of my life.
• My friends all tell me that I should be a coach!
Becoming a, Life coach, is both a rewarding career and a financially viable career.
Life coach, like Tony Robbins make millions of dollars per year.
Top, Executive coaches, can charge up to $3000 for a 45-min session for, leadership, coaching for top CEO's of major corporations.
As a starting, Life coach, here is the statistics of what you can make in the first year of business.
Average, coaching, salaries according to Sherpa: Leadership, Coaches make $325 per hour. Business Coaching, can make you $235 per hour. Life Coaches, make $160 per hour.
What is a Life Coach
A, Life coach, is the umbrella that all other, coaching, fall under.
A top CEO for example is coached on how to be good leader and motivate his managers to excellence but if his personal life is a mess he cannot be effective.
Who you are shows up in all your interactions
As you coach others, you are also, coaching, yourself.
Here are the steps to becoming a certified Life Coach:
1: Figure out your, niche – what are you going to specialize in
For example, would you want to coach on happiness? That would be your, niche.
This is a good, niche, because The goal of every living person is to find happiness.
As a Happiness, Life coach, you could coach your clients on the following:
Defining Happiness – What is Happiness, how is it measured
Benefits and Challenges in finding happiness
Finding happiness through networking and getting to know people. Most of us need others to make us happy.
Worksheets and Workbooks for Your Clients, e.g. to remove old conditioning and beliefs.
You could do an Intro on how You found Your Happiness
Peeling Off the Layers – What is making your clients unhappy
Layer 1: Desire (influences/programming/expectations)
Layer 2: Limiting Beliefs (unconscious/agreements)
Layer 3: Ego and Identity (attachments/roles)
Layer 4: Time (past and future vs. the now)
Layer 5: Patterns and Conditioning (rewiring for joy)
Layer 6: Your Current Mood (emotions)
Certification Completion – You are now ready to go do it!
Life coach training teaches the foundation of the coaching business as well as the principles
9 Key Considerations for Choosing the Right, life Coach Training, Program for You
1. What is the training school’s underlying philosophy?
The traditional method of, coaching, often brings about only incremental and short-lived results. Of course, when you help change a person’s actions, they do get results—but not sustainable results. That’s because the underlying thoughts and emotions that truly drive actions are not addressed. Without changing core thoughts and emotions, individuals eventually revert back to their old habits, routines, and actions.
Find a, life coach training, program that teaches you how to help your clients change the way they think and feel. A program that teaches you how to help clients break through limiting thoughts and emotional responses, and replace them with supportive, empowering beliefs. As a result, clients are moved to take powerful and consistent action.
2. How does the school deliver training?
A very important aspect in choosing the right, life coach training, school is determining which program employs the most effective training and learning techniques for you. There are many ways to deliver coach training: • Live classroom training • Teleclasses • Self-study • Online training • Group work • One-on-one mentor training • Independent projects and more
At the University of Miami Professional Certified training program, they used teleclasses along with weekend in house training. This worked for me.
3. Does the school offer specialized training?
When you specialize, your exact target audience is more receptive to hearing your message clearly. In fact, the most successful coaches will tell you that specialization has been the key to their success. That’s why it’s critical that the training school you choose offers specialty tracks to help you hone your niche and become proficient in the area of coaching in which you are most interested.
Here are some, niche coaching, specialties:
Life Purpose Coaching •
Health and Wellness Coaching •
Corporate Coaching •
Professional Coaching •
Executive Coaching •
Relationship Coaching •
Transition Coaching •
Small Business Coaching .
Happiness coaching
4. Does the school provide business development training to help you build your practice?
When comparing, coaching schools, it’s crucial to determine how each school addresses the following question: How will I attract clients and earn income as a coach?
The University of Miami coaching program did not address marketing. It is very important in starting to make money as a coach.
Find a program that includes in their curriculum classes to help you build your coaching practice through business development, branding/messaging, and marketing.
5. Is the school an accredited institution? What is its reputation and track record?
The International Coach Federation (ICF), the industry’s governing body that sets the standards, core competencies, and ethics for coaches and training schools alike. Many unaccredited schools have actually been rejected by the ICF accreditation board and some, multiple times. Make sure that the coach training school you’re considering is ICF-accredited, and do not accept any excuses as to why they are not.
If you are going to spend money to get a coaching certification it makes sense to get your certification from an accredited school so you can be accredited as a coach by the International coaching federation. If not, you can just call yourself a coach and get on with it. Lots do. Tony Robbins is making millions as a coach and he does not have certification, just lots of experience!
6. Who are the school’s instructors and what is their background?
One of the things I loved about the University of Miami certificate coaching program is that all the instructors were master certified coaches some have more than 30 years’ experience. Check to see the instructors listed and make sure they have at least a Certified Professional Coaching accreditation. That is what I have.
7. How long will it take to complete the program?
Accredited coach training programs vary in their requirements. Programs range from only 60 hours to more than 300—and from a few weeks long to several years. Most programs that offer ICF certification take a minimum of 6 months to complete, and the vast majority of accredited programs take 12 – 24 months. The University of Miami CPC coaching program was 11 months.
Be sure not to fork over your money for a weekend certificate program. I have seen them out there.
8. Where is the coach training 8 school located?
Most schools offer training online; but since coaching is a practical field, they usually have weekend in class sessions. About 3 of them for a 12-month program. So don’t sign up for a class in the United Kingdom because you will not pass or get your certificate if you cannot attend the in class training.
9. How much does the program cost and what’s included in the price?
Coach training programs vary significantly in price, with unaccredited programs starting as low as $2,000 – $3,000 and accredited programs ranging anywhere from $5,000 – $14,000 or more.
University of Miami CPC training program cost $6,000 plus mentor coaching and the purchase of an ethics book.
Here are some, life coach training, certificate programs:
I love GoDaddy. You can’t beat their prices and they offer free support in helping you set up.
For $7.00 per month you get.
Unlimited websitesºº
Unmetered storage
Unmetered bandwidth
Free Microsoft Office 365 Business Email – 1st year
Free domain* with annual plan
Site backup & restore (paid option)
2X processing power & memory (Linux w/ cPanel only)
Premium DNS
1-year SSL certificate†† to secure customer data and increase search rankings. (Restrictions Apply)
4: Learn Continuously
If you are going to be good at what you do, you have to be continually learning and improving
Not only learning how to improve your coaching skills but marketing, SEO, website, social media.
Lots to learn to grow your business.
You should also get a Mentor Coach to help get you to your goals faster if you have the funds.
I offer 30 min free strategy sessions if you are interested in setting up one and one mentor coaching with me.
Contact me on the web @ www.myrnayounghelps.com or send me an email @info@myhelps.us
Good luck in your new venture.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review in exchange for this media.
Question 1: How do you define success?
As successful musicians, would you define, success, by how far you have come in your career or do you feel that success has to do with how happy we are?
Joe: I define, success, as the simple act of making, goals, and working towards it.
I believe that we should make both short term, goals, and long term, goals, i.e make 6 month, goals, so we can check them off as we achieve them and longer term, goals, like 5 to 10 years.
William – I define, success, as “Not Quitting”
I believe that we have to persevere to accomplish our goals and success to me is being knocked down and getting back up.
Darrell – I define success as a legacy.
I believe that we have to leave legacy for our children and families.
Question 2: How have you used failure to fuel your success?
Can you tell the audience of some of your most profound failures and how it lead to your ultimate, success?
William – We should use failures to help us grow and to learn from our mistakes.
Also I have developed the personal mantra that says that
No means Not Now!
So I have become successful by just getting the No's out of the way to get to the Yes
I also believe that the acronym POOR means Pass Over Opportunity so I always look for opportunities in my failures.
Darrell – Failure makes us stronger.
For me failure is never an option.
My acronym is JOB Just Over Broke
Because if you have a job and working for the man, you will always be Just Over Broke!
BIM – When you fall you get back up, you never stay down.
Joe – I won't lie, failure makes you want to quit!
When your kids are hungry and they are looking at you with eyes that say we are hungry
It does make you want to quit but you always have to remember your WHY.
If you don't know your WHY, then you will fail because you will not have the strength to persevere and stay the course.
What are some of your beliefs that allowed you to succeed?
Joe – My belief is what you get out what you put in!
And Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
BIM – Pray! I am always on my knees praying
Darrell – I believe in a higher power
William – I believe Why Not Me?
Why can't I be a successful Entrepreneur?
I believe that God put us on this earth to live more abundantly and not just to survive.
How to be Successful
What advise would you give to our listeners including our female listeners on, how to be successful.
There has been a lot of attention lately on women having to endure male advances and harassment to succeed. How can women be successful without giving up their values to men? How do you feel this can be prevented?
William – Women have to believe to believe in their, success. They are smarter than men because they have natural intuition. They are and as such they should not have to give up their morals to get ahead.
They have to believe that they have equal rights as much as men to the positions they aspire to be in.
How do you define your success?
Success, is the achievement of something that you have been trying to do.
Success, is the achievement of a high position in a particular field, for example in business or politics.
Someone or something that is a, success, achieves a high position, makes a lot of money, or is admired a great deal.
As we enter into the New Year, what are your, goals, for, success?
Where did you miss the mark in the year that passed?
Do a year in review.
Did you let circumstances get the way of your perseverance?
Or did you achieve all your goals?
If you did not, maybe this would be the time to invest in yourself and hire a Life Coach.
